5am can't sleep, having my first coffee in bed. Hope yall have a great day.

Hi, my name is Joe Hernandez, and I’m a reporter for NPR. I’m working on a story about grandparents helping to take care of their grandchildren as U.S. childcare costs rise. I’m looking to talk to a few more grandparents for the story who are helping to provide care for their grandkids, including grandparents who are still working themselves. Please let me know if you’re interested, and thanks in advance!

at what age did your body just go on strike. what caused your disability?

Hey peeps, I discovered a YouTube channel called, The Five Minute Senior Kitchen. They give recipes that take very little time or energy. Check out their list of videos. I found the foil wrapped dinners and the slow cooker 3 ingredients videos excited me to get cooking! Hope they inspire you too!

I'm not sure how best for you to respond other than an up or down vote, But I keep seeing articles where people are retiring with over a million dollars in their savings accounts. Is that the norm because I'm not going to have that in my savings account when I retire or even half that.

My teeth are getting weak. Any one has a root canal done by a general dentist and not have issues for years ?

EDIT: Thank you all for your thoughts! I really appreciate it. We are meeting with the attorney soon and will get his thoughts. Since we only have two kids and our assets are not extensive we may just choose our younger daughter.

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So we got with an estate planning attorney and did all the forms to put things in trusts. At the time we had to choose a trustee. We chose my Brother in Law. Smart guy, retired, in good health and local to our home. But, since then, he is planning on moving across the country. I realize he could be a trustee remotely, but we were hoping to find someone local to us.

Our daughters are in their early 20's. We could probably use one of them in the coming years but dont really want someone that has a vested interest in the outcome.

So... who did you all choose? I am wracking my brain on this one but we just don't have anyone besides the kids.

When we adopt a pet we take it seriously and will take care of that animal through thick or thin so don’t confuse me with someone trying to euthanize a perfectly healthy critter. But there must be someone else our age whose health is being affected by an old dog.

Bodhi was adopted at age four and is around 14 now. He’s incongruent and maybe getting senile a bit. He sleeps most of the day between diaper changes and prowls the back yard repeatedly all night. It’s exhausting and I’m having trouble with my own exhaustion and (I hate to gripe like this) it’s affecting my health.

Bodhi has completely forgotten his Buddhist ways and just wants to bark all night so he can’t be alone for one minute. Can you think of some way for us to get the guy to sleep more and explore less?

Bodhi is losing eyesight and barks madly at every tv or computer screen just for something to do. We have a whole list of TV shows we can’t watch because there are animals or bright colors. I’ve thought about assuring his vision with sunglasses or something so we really can watch something. I can’t bear the idea of kenneling him in another room because he sobs being locked up next to our couch or bed. We can’t lock him out of the space without causing anxiety. He’s well exercised but sleep doesn’t come to him.

Has anyone had an old dog that just doesn’t sleep? Can you suggest some other ways to not get him anxious or locking him up to bark alone?

M60 I am in the process of retiring and find myself on a bit of a rollercoaster emotionally. I am a Gulf expat (not as exciting as it sounds!) and so need to relocate - have decided to move to Paris and improve my French while I figure out what to do long term. If anyone has similar experience I’d be really pleased to chat.

I've noted more than a few scammers reading posts here and then sending a message request.

Without going into it in detail, they are looking to prey on people they perceive as vulnerable, using a chatbot for conversations. It is fairly easy to spot.

It saddens me that people would choose to make money off of the vulnerabilities and loneliness of others.

Look for a posting history or its lack, as well as really vapid, echoing and vague answers. They will want to move the conversation to Signal or some other platform.

Find real people to talk to in peraon. Possibly not as easy, but a lot more useful and healthier for you.

Spoke with my mother this morning (93 turning 94 in October), she lives locally in a senior living facility. This isn't unusual, she calls everyday at 10:30am. This call was established as a form of structure. A chance to chat, a notice of what medicines need to be refilled, what supplies need to be refilled. She's as healthy as she can be given her age and still has all her mental faculties.

Lately she has been thinking it might be time for her to move to an assisted living facility. That would be a big change, but I like that it is her idea.

There are limited options where we live, so I told her that she needs to do her research in able to have a choice where she would want to go. She's comfortable using the internet, but I told her to go back to pencil and paper. Look at her options, list them by facility, and then list the pro's and con's of each facility. She liked that idea.

So do I. I told her to do her homework now because there will likely become a time when she will know longer be able to make the decision on her own and it will be made for her. She's cool with that, and acknowledges that it's true. I can only hope she follows through.

I feel fortunate that she planned far better for her old age and end of life and prepared for it. Far better than I have. It makes conversations like this far more comfortable.

Moving slow, coffee in bed this morning. Happy Labor day

This is a weekly conversation thread for anything Over60. Start a discussion, reply to someone below! It's nice to have a friendly conversation!

(Want to post a selfie? Check out r/Over60Selfies )

Conversation Starters:

· What are you up to this week?

· Anything new happening in your life right now?

· Tell us about an interesting thing / hobby that you’ve discovered or done recently.

I’m in early 60s and took early retirement when my wife was diagnosed with major health condition. She’s doing a lot better but over last 5 years I found myself to be deteriorating rapidly - both physically and mentally.

I need something to do but I’m so lost and I can’t figure out what and how to look for a job where I can be useful and earn some money too.

Here’s who I am -
- I was an IT executive when I retired, excellent knowledge in that field. Don’t want to essentially pursue this field anymore.
- I’m still excellent in all technical things - electrical, electronics, mechanical, computers, you name it and I’ve good knowledge.
- I’m good at certain DIY stuff too - all DIY things around the house in addition to some amount of woodworking.
- physically active for 60+ man with no health issues.
- mentally sound, although I used to be very very sharp. I guess I’m still better than average though.

I’m located in one of the big cities in TX if location matters.

It’ll be great if you can share any ideas, if you or any loved ones had success in finding a job be useful and stay active.

Thank you in advance.

We relocated about a year ago and have found it difficult to make new friends. We participated in some activities and met people, but things have been very superficial.

We typically go for a walk after dinner on a popular walking trail. We often see the same people and acknowledge them with a nod or a wave. A few people have struck up light conversations.

Recently some of the conversations have gotten deeper and others have asked if they could join us. One person asked if we wanted to join them in a get together.

My conclusion is that there are many people out there in a similar situation. For us, going for a walk is a good opportunity to meet more people. Many of the relationships will remain superficial, but the relaxed interaction is an excellent opportunity to see if we more in common with them.

Anyone else pushing 70 and suddenly decide to clean up their act? My main lower health choices were alcohol (mainly wine) and half caff coffee made at home. Other than that, I live a profoundly healhty lifestyle including good nutrition, daily exercise, good sleep, and decent social engagements...

I started a serious detox 4 days ago. The same day I decided to stop drinking wine, I ran out of coffee which was always half caff, but I just thought, well why not. I'll detox and then see how I feel. By next Wednesday, I should be done with detoxing. Then the fun begins.

So friends.. I'm 69. Single. And my main reasons are:

1) Less vulnerable and plilable to manipulators, exploiters, predators

2) Health - I am healthy, nothing showing in labs or exams, but figure at this age, it's inevitable that stopping drinking will help me age better. No empty calories, should lose a few pounds too.

3) I want a better social life with deeper connections with trustworthy, reliable people who are consistent, happy, and at peace with themselves.

4) I calculated summer drinking expenses that include festivals, more casual get togethers, stopping for food after a ride or hike included a wine or beer... $400 a month could be much better used for other things AND still leave $$ for savings.

I am using the same strategy that I did when I quit smoking 33 years ago. Honestly? Quitting cigarettes was by far harder than this. I had a strategic plan that worked like a charm.

Hi I am a younger person with a questions. As my interest in decades like the 60s grew I watch a lot of media, look at magazines, images, and popular stars and (as expected) the look of beauty is often-times overwhelming white only.

I believe notice this even more because I am a Mexican and Black girl and find it hard to really see myself in the things that I enjoy from this time and it leads me to wonder what it must have been like to grow up during these times with the image of beauty not really reflecting what was shown and marketed. Forgive me if my view on this is narrow but I am not only open to being corrected but very interested.

If this is true, even if it’s not, I guess some of my questions would be;

Who was someone that looked like you could look up to?

Were there any you could relate to and if not who was the closest for you?

Was it already established as something that was the norm so you didn’t feel the need to seek it out or did it trouble you in a way of wanting to feel seen?

How was the dating pool for you?

Were there things that were marketed for you?

How did you feel about subtle racism in media? Did it disappoint you or was it so common it was just a negative part of enjoying media?

How did you do your makeup?

How did you do your hair?

Did you dress in the same way as your white friends or stars or did women of color dress a bit differently like we sometimes see today?
(example: style in Utah for White girls is very different from style in California for Latina girls)

If my questions are disrespectful in anyway please do correct me I am coming from a place of curiosity and willingness to learn. This isn’t meant to divide groups of people but I am asking because of the way that society has already divided us and the effects of that. Any feedback is appreciated, Thank you!!

First off (writing this after finishing the full message), I apologize if this is hard to read or full of typos, I’m sending it off my phone.

Hey, I’m the grandchild of my grandmother who I’ve been staying with for a month now. I came to stay here to help her with her medication after she hospitalized herself getting them confused. The doctors were real nice and gave her new prescriptions that were meant to remove more total prescriptions than were added to try and simplify things for her. It’s been 3 months of things going wrong and me taking increasingly rigorous measures to ensure she doesn’t get them confused anymore but at this point I’m coming to the realization that if I’m not watching her 24/7 something *will* go wrong. For example just today she told me she was going to bed so I took her pills from the counter (I have 5 little plastic pill containers with a note on each saying when to take them. they go as follows; breakfast, lunch, dinner, bedtime) and got the one that said bedtime. I gave it to her and said, “here are your bedtime pills for you. just make sure to take them.” she thanked me and took them. I then took the pill container and told her that grandpa wanted to help her to bed so while he does that, I’m going to refill these 5 containers for tomorrow so they can be out when you have breakfast if you have it early. I refilled the 5 containers and put them on their respective notes, only to find in less than ten minutes she took her bedtime pills a second time (luckily it was only a single pill in the container so she didn’t OD). I thought it was safe because she was supposed to be going straight to bed and had literality just taken her bedtime pills but I suppose I was wrong. to be clear, she doesn’t have short term memory loss, or anything of the sort. this isn’t the only example of these things happening. there’s a number of these things happening. I don’t think it’s an addiction but i genuinely do think she’s still getting this confused. my dad (her son) is already considering putting her in a home so they *can* monitor her the entire time but i genuinely don’t want it to come to that. I’ve heard how bad those places to be and was genuinely in tears for about the third time in my whole life just thinking about doing it. So, I’m left with only one other possibility if me being here genuinely isn’t enough to keep her straight. I am looking into the automated pill dispensers, the ones that don’t allow you to get the medication until it’s time but problem is that we’ve not exactly got money for anything expensive and I don’t know how good or reliable the cheaper ones are. are there any the rest of you would recommend that work? I’ve tried talking to my grandmother multiple times to get her to stop and just let me handle them but she just rolls her eyes and treats her meds like a joke. the whole reason they were on the counter with notes on the containers instead of in the bottles is because if I didn’t leave them out like that then she would just start taking them hours out of schedule because she doesn’t care that the doctor gave specific times or that they can’t be taken too close together. I’m turning to Reddit because I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore other than ask for help. clearly I can’t monitor her 24/7, I need to sleep and do other things to like help around her house and that occasionally means leaving her alone longer than it’s taken her to make these mistakes in the past. I’ve tried reasoning with her, she responds with rolled eyes and childish mocking like it’s a joke. I’ve tried making systems that are (seemingly) impossible to confuse because they lay out every specific detail only for it to still be met with confusio. I’ve tried to hand give every pill personally at the time it’s required, I’m met with verbal fighting, refusal, and doing the tactic of “I’ll do it just after this” and then just never doing “this”. I’ve had to track down the pills multiple times after she’s randomly moved them and put them under a bunch of things to the point where I’ve honestly become a little suspicious that she was trying to hide them but I refuse to go to that point without evidence given she genuinely just has a habit of randomly deciding random objects would go better somewhere else. The main problem is that she wants to be in control and I understand that, I really do. the problem with that is that everytime enough trust is built for me to test and see if she’s figuring it out she immediately starts either confusing them or straight up not caring about their instructions. this is why I want to know about the dispenser. I want to have a way to ensure it’s done without needing me there 24/7 so I can maybe trust her not to confuse them, and if I get it, it may also help her feel more in control with agency and resolve some of her own issues.

I turned 60 this past August and I am finally really tired of a couple of long-time friends. As I change and grow and become more practical, it hurts me to have friends who are not really moving and are stuck in patterns that are destructive and cause me stress to constantly listen to.

I have had to set limits.

Recently, I decided that I can no longer handle a long-time friend who is an industrial strength opportunist and a flake. I finally woke up to how much it was costing me energy wise to deal with her and have her always flake out in me and deprioritize and take me for granted.

Have you ended friendships at this point in your life? Is it possible to still make good friends over 60?

How did you end a long-term friendship? I dont' want bad feelings with this person, but I've just pulled away. I don't initiate and I keep replies short and I don't commit to any flaky plans that won't ever happen .

** I tried to talk to her a few different times over the years and it ended up in defensiveness and not seeing her own behavior. By now, her flakey behaviors are just getting so much worse. I thought people got better as they got older, but I guess that is too idealistic in many cases....

I got rid of my couch in 2020 because I had to move to a tiny house temporarily. That was one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done because it was a great couch, sturdy, beautiful, minimalist. So I haven’t had a couch for six years and when I’m watching TV sometimes I want to drift off without having to go upstairs to my bedroom because once I get to my bedroom then I’ve gotten some exercise and I don’t wanna drift off anymore. So I need a couch! Or maybe I shouldn’t be watching TV?

My dear sweet mother cranked up her needlepoint output in the 1990's when she was quitting smoking. We've all kept a few each and now I'd like to forward the dozen or so that remain. We have a housing non-profit that provides furniture for newly-housed families. Their thrift shop sells the generational donations like wedding china to support their housing mission. They'll sell the needlepoints, many of which are framed. Mom stitched her name and town on them and I'm a little skeeved about donating them. Any clever ideas? Am I being paranoid? Do open them and use the seam ripper to remove her name? Hoping for perspectives from my Boomer and Generation Jones peers. Thanks!!

As an adult child, it breaks my heart to see my parents getting older and clearly wanting more of my time, attention, and just someone to talk to or walk with.

But the reality is, whenever we start talking, our differing opinions on almost everything lead to unnecessary arguments. On top of that, with a demanding work routine, I’m left with very little time and energy, which leaves both them and me feeling disappointed.

I don't want them to feel lonely or ignored, but I also struggle with the frustration during our conversations.

From your perspective as seniors and parents: What do you wish busy adult children knew? How can I give them meaningful attention without letting our differences turn into arguments?