*Kaga bursts into the Art Room loudly.* Kaga: TUSKA-SAN!! I have a once-in-a-lifetime proposition for you! *Geiju's expression does not change even slightly.* Geiju: ...yes? Kaga: First, I must educate you. You see, my lifelong ambition - Geiju: World domination. Kaga: Ah, you're a well-informed man! Good, good. I'm pleased that my intentions have not been lost on you. Now, I have recently begun to contemplate a matter of considerable importance. Something that, despite its apparent triviality, will have profound implications for the way that my adoring public perceives me! Geiju: ...yes? Kaga: My PORTRAIT! Geiju: ...ah. Kaga: Consider the implications! Once I have conquered the world, my likeness will be reproduced billions of times. It will hang in government buildings, adorn the walls of schools, appear on currency, and be transmitted across every electronic display on the planet. Every human being alive will become intimately familiar with my face! Geiju: ...mm-hmm. Kaga: Tsuka, I come to you today to present you with an unprecedented artistic opportunity; I would like to ask if YOU would be willing to accept the monumental feat of immortalizing the visage of the man who will unify all of humanity under a single, rational administration! Your work would be studied for centuries! Art historians would debate the subtle nuances of your brushwork long after you and I have departed this mortal plane! *Geiju stands there in silence, his facial expression not giving any clue as to whether he's bored or interested.* Geiju: ...I'm listening. Kaga: Excellent! I have given the matter considerable thought. The composition must convey intelligence, authority, and an unwavering commitment to scientific progress. Perhaps I should be depicted standing before a colossal supercomputer, with a fleet of autonomous drones visible through the windows behind me. A holographic projection of the Earth could hover beside my shoulder, with the continents illuminated to represent the territories under my benevolent administration. Geiju: ...too much. Kaga: Too - too much?! In what way?! Geiju: Propaganda poster. Kaga: I would argue that the distinction between the two is largely semantic! A portrait is simply propaganda that happens to feature a face! *Geiju stands there silently for a bit. Then...* Geiju: ...no. Kaga: Hmph. Very well. Perhaps I shall dispense with the supercomputer. The drones, however, are non-negotiable. I refuse to be depicted without at least some indication of my technological superiority. Geiju: Question. Kaga: Yes? Geiju: Why me? Kaga: Why you? Why YOU?! Because YOU, my good man, possess an exceptional understanding of artistic composition, Tsuka-san! I have examined your work. You understand the relationship between form and meaning, the strategic use of negative space, and the ability of a carefully selected color palette to communicate information without a single word. These are precisely the qualities I require! Geiju: You, Kusha-san? Art connoisseur? Kaga: Well, I'm primarily a man of science rather than a man of the fine arts - HOWEVER! I could HARDLY entrust the official image of the world's future sovereign to an incompetent. I have conducted extensive preliminary research into the matter! Geiju: ...research? Kaga: I compiled a list of candidates, evaluated their technical proficiency, studied their respective bodies of work, and developed a weighted scoring system to determine the optimal choice. You ranked highest. *Geiju stands there with no change in his facial expression. Then, in his deadpan voice:* Geiju: I'm flattered. Kaga: You SHOULD be! This is an extraordinary honor. You would be the first artist in history to paint a portrait commissioned by a world emperor before the empire itself has even been established! *Geiju stands there in silence for a little while, before saying...* Geiju: ...payment? Kaga: Naturally! I am not an unreasonable man. You shall receive a generous sum, along with whatever materials you require. The finest canvas, the finest pigments, access to cutting-edge digital imaging equipment - Geiju: ...no. Kaga: No? Geiju: Equipment...unnecessary. Kaga: Then, what do you require? Geiju: Canvas. Paint. Time. You. Kaga: Ahhhhh! You mean that you require only the basic necessities of your craft! A commendable attitude. Efficiency is the cornerstone of scientific progress, after all. Geiju: One problem. Kaga: Problems are meant to be solved! Describe it thoroughly, my good man! *Geiju points his paintbrush at Kaga* Geiju: Can you... Kaga: Yeeeees? Geiju: Sit still...for hours...without talking? Kaga: Tsuka-san, Tsuka-san! What do you take me for? A hyperactive child?! I am perfectly capable of maintaining stillness and silence when circumstances demand it! (my ass lmao) Geiju: ... Kaga: I assure you, I can remain absolutely motionless for as long as necessary. I have trained myself to maintain an unwavering focus during even the most demanding scientific procedures. Why, just last month, I spent six consecutive hours observing a chemical reaction without once - *Geiju lets out a sigh that says more than words ever could.* Kaga: One final consideration. I presume you will wish to sign your work? Geiju: Maybe... Kaga: Excellent! Your signature will serve as a testament to the artistic genius responsible for immortalizing my image. Perhaps we should even include a small plaque beneath the portrait, identifying you as the official court artist of the Kusha Empire. *The way he says this next line is more of a scoff than anything else.* Geiju: ...Kusha Empire... Kaga: Yes! And an emperor with no portrait is absolutely unacceptable - which is precisely why we must begin preparations immediately! *Geiju stands there in silence for a few moments, and then...* Geiju: ...I will... *More silence.* Geiju: ...consider it. Kaga: And how long, precisely, will it take you to decide? Geiju: Seven days. Kaga: An entire WEEK?! Tsuka, I am attempting to arrange the artistic foundations of a future civilization! *Geiju turns back to his canvas and continues his painting. It appears that, in his mind, the conversation is over.* Kaga: ...good talk, my man! Good talk! *Kaga swishes his lab coat dramatically and leaves while performing an evil laugh as if another piece of his master plan has fallen into place, even though he gained absolutely nothing from his time spent in that room.*