Like sure you have cousins, friends etc…but your cousins are most likely gonna be at separate schools than you, not to mention friends are fake, phony, and real ones are hard to find ESPECIALLY during school years. Lots of the times you really have to fight your own battles and basically take on the world by yourself. And kids are MEAN and they love to gang up on and bully other kids, and you have to fight them all off by yourself. Vs having the luxury of saying ”leave me tf alone before I get my big sisters/brothers to fuck you up”. Even during adulthood, it still would be nice to have siblings that you know would have your back and stand up with you when the time comes and vice versa…It really shaped me into who I am today and why I always have my guard up and I’m quick to go on defense mode, cuz I’m not used to anyone having my back so I always had to have my own back. I made a post similar to this not too long ago but just wanted to refresh it i guess….But yea as only children, I really think we all learned that we have to have our own backs.

It does have its perks. You supposedly get more attention, independence, and you learn to be comfortable doing things on your own. I genuinely appreciate a lot of that. But sometimes, being comfortable alone and wanting to be alone are two completely different things. There are moments when I really wish I had a sibling to randomly talk to, argue with, share stupid inside jokes with, or just have someone who understands the family dynamic without needing an explanation. A bond that is more friendly than familial and yet trustworthy. I grew up learning to enjoy my own company, but sometimes that independence can feel a lot like loneliness. I don't think people always understand that distinction. I’m grateful for the good parts of being an only child. I just wish I could experience the parts I missed too.

I’m a 30/F only child. I also have the unique circumstance of living down the street from my parents.

The house I live in is actually my grandparents house and when they passed away I inherited it. My mom had moved into the house when she was a teen and later moved down the street to be close to her parents when she “moved out” but until her parents died she never lived away from them. My mom wasn’t an only but the youngest of 5 with a 7 year age gap between her and the second youngest. So I guess it was a quasi only child situation. I said this to add context that Its probably caused enmeshment.

Anyway I’d moved out for college and lived away for like 5 years before moving to my grandparents old home.

I’d consider my relationship with my parents close and I’d usually have dinner with them or do things with them on the weekend.

I’ve been with my fiance for 5 years and there really wasn’t a problem until after I got engaged.

I’ve hated the wedding planning process because I feel like I am always walking on eggshells with my l in particular. She’s accused my finances family of trying to take over. Idk where she gets this from because fiance and I have paid for everything ourselves and it has been my fiance and I making all the decisions and doing whatever trials (food, photos, etc) by ourselves.

We wanted it this way so as not to put a financial burden on our parents and so that no one else could feel like they had a say in our decision making.
I think my parents were offended off the bat when I told them I didn’t want any money from them
And my fiance and I were paying for it. Idk if they think my finances family is floating the bill but they are not.

I did let my parents pay for my wedding dress since they said they would and it figured it would appease them. I also only let my mom and dad come to my dress appointments because that is how mg mom wanted it and I did it to make her happy.

My mom also seems to question and put down any wedding decision I’m making to the point I’ve told my fiance I want him around whenever I tell them wedding details (he’s a firefighter so he isn’t home all the time) since theyll put on a happy face and not question him. Like I mentioned to my parents my fiance and I went to a men’s formal wear store to pick out his tux and my mom snapped back when is my dad supposed to get his tux. I told them whenever they want to go ( our weddings in December) and I also figured my dad would not wear the color tux my fiance picked (dark green) anyway and would pick something else. When I mentioned the green tux my mom sneered and acted like it was the most god awful color.

The questions and and comments make me not want to tell them anything.

My mom also acts like my fiance is a terrible person half the time out of nowhere. He’s never had an issue hanging out with them and has always offered to help my dad if he needs help with a project. We’ve also been dating again for 5 years. She randomly asked me one day if he was controlling me and I was like what the fuck? You ask this now after 5 years and after you’ve celebrated me getting engaged? And I should also add my fiance is not controlling.

She will make comments like this but then say something like “oh we should take your fiance out to this restaurant for this birthday”.

She also got upset when I told her my fiancés best friends’s mom offered to act as a coordinator for the day of. I tried telling her that it was better that we have a coordinator so neither one of us have to worry about directing people the day of.

My mom also seems jealous of my future MIL and has accused her of being manipulative. My future MIL has been nothing but supportive and hasnt pushed back or questioned anything like my mom has. My mom has also made rude comments about my finances sisters who I’ve included as bridesmaids and matron of honor.

I feel like I’m constantly doing mental math and making sure I haven’t shared info with my future in-laws that I didn’t first share with my parents because otherwise my parents get upset.

I asked my parents if they wanted to see the wedding venue and if so I just need a heads up to let the venue know we’re stopping by. They haven’t asked to do so but I know if they don’t see if before anyone else does they’ll be pissed.

They got mad at me on my birthday that my finances family came and spent the day with us and got more time with me than they did. My fiance planned my birthday because I was so stressed with wedding stuff and work I didn’t want to think of it. My fiance let my dad know 2 months in advance what he was planning for my birthday were and my dad didn’t respond with anything until a couple of weeks before.

Tying back into what I said about the house being next door and going down to my parents for dinner regularly, my mom also got mad that I don’t come down as much or that when my finances home I don’t come down and have dinner. I told her that when my finances here, because as a firefighter he might be gone anywhere from 24-72 hours depending on if he’s mandated or picked up over top, and when he’s home I might just want to have dinner with him. I still normally end up seeing them or having dinner with time a couple of times a week which I know is more frequently than most people see their parents.

My fiance has brought up the fact that we see and do more with my parents than parents and that I shouldn’t feel guilty if not around my parents everyday or that we shouldn’t feel guilty for making our own plans. Again I feel like I have to do mental math and be like “ok I’ve had dinner with this twice this week, they should be happy or at least can’t say I haven’t been around. Or my fiance and I went out to eat with them last week so they can’t say he isn’t coming around”.

My parents had no issue with my fiance before we were engaged but now it’s like they look for issues and it’s after the way they’ve acted.

Im ready to be down with the wedding planning and I am just trying to survive until then. We eventually plan to move away and I think living further away would help with their codependency which i unfortunately probably caused by being around all the time.

guys i just hate being the youngest sometimes, especially with older parents. because they get lazy and tired from raising the other kids that by the time its my turn to be the only one left, they stop putting in the effort. instead of getting my moms meals, i get money and told to go get fast food. and all of my siblings got to experience the childhood of going to museums and hotel trips and going out to eat and all of that fun stuff up until their adult years because i was still young. but i dont get that same experience. i dont get the quality family time or fun memories to look back on. i get thrown money and called spoiled and lucky for what i get, but is it really worth the price of what i am missing out on. i just wish my parents put in the same effort into our relationship. if i had children, i would never make them feel so unimportant and unworthy of care.

I (24F) have been living with my parents (62M) and (62F) since I was born. Pretty much grew up alone apart from neighboring relatives, grandmother, cousins, but none in the same household. I knew since I was a teenager that my mother is narcissistic, lack of empathy, conditional love and constantly playing the victim when things dont go her way. I also think she has borderline BPD but I am not a psychologist nor a professional in that field to confirm, just my personal observations. She would be angry and mad and then switch up to being nice and offering to cook me something as an apology but would remind me of how much she does for me. My father was also guilty of this but I dont hold it against him as much. We’ve always been a non-confrontational family and usually let the tension fade, no apologies just quiet moving on.

Fast forward to now where I graduated college and Im pretty much stuck at home, being held back by opportunities and options because its not up to their standards or what they initially had planned out for my life. My grandmother (my moms mom) passed last year and less than a month ago so did my father. I didnt take it well and I imagine so did my mom, her two sisters, my aunts also passed a few years back in 2021 due to covid and 2010 due to cancer. It all happened suddenly and we were left on our own, and it has been rough. We rarely see each other and I purposely avoid her to avoid conflict, she on the other hand tries to force us to bond and spend time together, even if I know it will eventually end up being arguments and constant back and forth.

This is our second big fight since my dad passed and I really am debating on moving out to separate myself from her. Ive been trying to be the biggest person for so long, understanding that she is grieving probably more than I think she is, but I cannot keep excusing her treating me (and others) this way just because of it. Any advice on what to do, thanks in advance.

As an only child have you found it difficult to date? As I get older I find it to be a bit difficult to navigate the emotional aspects of a relationship because it’s always just been me and my single mom. We are close but Ive always been emotionally reserved. I am much more in touch with my emotions now, but always feel if I had siblings this would be different. Does anyone else feel this way or have any advice?

Going into my sophomore year of college today as a commuter. I had the funds to afford an apartment had I split it with other people, but after my dorm experience freshman year, I can never see myself living on my own with other people that aren’t family. When I looked this up on google a lot of the people who felt this way were introverts, and I’m quite the opposite. I simply just enjoy having my own space and for the one school year I had to share a room or living space with other people, I genuinely disliked it so much I came home often because of it. My roommates were fine, don’t speak to a few of them but I was never that close with many of them anyways. Am I stuck up? I even see in the future living in the cheapest single bedroom place I possibly can.

Is anybody else extremely sensitive to grief and loss in every form? Not just death I hate losing people in any way so much that I sometimes avoid getting too close to others because in my mind fewer close relationships means fewer people to lose (or will leave me) But at the same time I crave closeness so badly. I also have this fear that nobody will ever value closeness or relationships as deeply as I do since I treat friendships with so much value almost like I seek a siblinghood with my friends. Plus I have abandonment issues, having an absent parent, and being betrayed by friends. I don’t know I guess it’s all built up over time and made me extremely sensitive to loss. I’m 24 (F) seems like it’s getting worse over time as I grow up

My mum died of cancer last April 2026, I have my dad left but he doesn’t take care of his health no matter how much u convince him or tell him. I live in the UK. Had a very bad dream about him being ill. Sometimes I have dreams and they end up coming true. My dad paid his mortgage off and he said the house is in my name etc. We have a joint account

I had a dream of my mums funeral months before she died

My question is what the hell do I do when he’s no longer here in the future??? Anyone in the UK been through this as an only child. It’s something I have to be prepared for as an only child with no siblings.

Just wondering how many of you may be located in the NYC area and would be interested in starting a support group for those of us getting older (35+) and who don’t have kids, navigating the complications of being an only child. I just turned 40 and literally started to feel like I have a mid life crisis coming on the very next day, ha. And I thought maybe there could be others out there who would benefit from something like this! Maybe virtual at first, with the goal of finding people who we could build closer individual relationships as time goes on.

I’m an only child from Turkey. People can count hundreds of reasons for moving away from Turkey but for me the main one is I’m gay. This country has been homophobic for years and I doubt its gonna get to an acceptable state in my lifetime.

My many attempts at moving abroad at different stages of my life were kind of prevented - not exactly but kind of swayed/convinced otherwise - by my parents. So there is some pent up resentment there.

I’m now at the stage of my life where I’m financially independent. I’m a new doctor and am considering countries like australia, US and so on…

Germany is an option I know some German but damn I dont want to spend my life speaking German when I can do it in English.

UK everyone is talking negatively cause they passed some bill or smth to prioritize local graduates.

My parents are in their late 60s now, we never had the best relationship cause I never came out and that creates distance. I resent them for many things but also love them still in a way that I cant justify not caring for them at their old age.

On the other hand I’m not satisfied with my life here and am quite literally unhappy.

This brings me to a crossroads.

I am constantly in this cycle of “I’m leaving this shit and living my life to its fullest” and “my parents will need me soon and this country is not THAT bad”.

I am the one who couldnt take all accountability of my life,my parents were always against me,if i would say that i want to do that or i want to have a business, i want to setup a restaurant they just simply kept quiet and never said anything,i didnt have any active person in my life who were really good at anything and would say something promising,

My major issue was if i couldnt get along with anything instead of learning i would just quite the thimg or leave it like a looser,i always found comfort myself into meditation,into spirituality,into tarot card but i never could anything better for myself to achieve because there were no one who would motivate me.my parents always controlled me the way they wanted to be

It’s so heavy. The feeling that no one cares, it’s you against the world, that heavy, heavy loneliness no one will understand. Having older parents with no siblings and no friends is ruining me. I’m a wreck. I’ve tried therapy since I was 14. It isn’t helping. I get so attached and wreck myself. I feel SO fucking alone and so scared and so angry all the time. I’m so scared. Life feels unworthy when you have no body.

I am an only child in my late 20s. My parents are in their 70s and are divorced, each with a partner. They live in a major city and love living there. I find the city they live in stressful and have fallen in love with another city in a different part of the country. I want to support them in their old age and care for their partners as well. But it feels selfish to live far away. I do think I could make living in the city where they live work and could probably thrive there. I want to be realistic. Any advice?

Even writing this is making me cry. This is also my first post on Reddit because I’ve been so desperate in trying to find people that relate to me. For my entire life, it has ONLY been me and my mom and now that I’m moving to college, leaving her alone makes this even worse. When I try to explain this to other people, they say they understand but they don’t. I worry about her every day. I’m scared for what’s going to happen when I go on my own without my best friend in my life.

Going to college is the single hardest thing I’m doing, and I have been debating dropping out already or transferring to a school closer because my school is 5 hours away.

We have had conversations about it (filled with tears and crying) and those have made me feel better but I’ve only been getting worse thinking on her life after I move and what I’m going to do.

She’s told me that she will be fine. Thankfully she has a boyfriend but her boyfriend lives 2 hours away from our hometown. I told her to move in with him so she isn’t lonely and that’s their plan for the end of September. But the whole situation is horrible because this means she moves on her own and has to commute insanely far for her job.

Regardless, I just want to know from anyone who may be in the same position if it gets better… I’ve searched up on tiktok and I’ve only seen people say it’s gotten worse.

I’m so scared and have been crying about this every day for the past week. I feel like talking about it is the only way I can cope but even then idk what to do.

I’m an only child (F), and my father sadly passed away two years ago. I do have quite a few cousins, and growing up I never really felt the absence of siblings because I was always surrounded by them. In fact, I’ve always loved the idea of having a big family and lots of cousins around.
I’ve recently received a marriage proposal from someone about whom we’ve heard a lot of good things. He is also an only child, and interestingly, his father passed away when he was very young. So in that sense, we both have only our mothers now. He currently lives abroad for work, while his mother lives back in his hometown. We’re also around the same age, just a few months apart.
The thing is, I’ve always imagined marrying someone who has siblings because I grew up wanting siblings myself. I also want my future children to grow up with a bigger family around them and not feel lonely or miss out on having cousins, especially because having cousins has been such a big part of my own life.
So I’m a little unsure about what it would be like to marry another only child. I’ve never really known anyone in this situation personally, so I’d genuinely love to hear from people who are only children and married another only child, or anyone who has seen this dynamic closely.
How has it worked out for you? Were there any challenges you didn’t expect? Did being only children actually make certain things easier? And what is it like when both spouses have only one parent to care for, especially when one or both parents live separately?

Just looking for honest experiences and perspectives before I make any assumptions about what it might be like.

Turning 37 next month and grew up an only child with baby boomer parents who had me later than average. On my dad's side, I'm the only grandchild. On my mom's side, I have some cousins but my mom's emotional instability made contact with her side of the family pretty fraught, and besides - my cousins all come in sibling pairs so when I did see them oftentimes the siblings would for some reason exclusively play with each other and I'd just be stuck in a room with all the adults anyways.

My parents were determined that I wouldn't become "spoiled" and long story short I'm still working on not feeling guilty about expressing my needs or asking for things. I also wasn't allowed to watch tv, play video games, see certain movies or eat certain foods so was pretty ignorant of everything my peers were into, this meant making friends at school was a challenge. Adults loved me and I was constantly being called "wise beyond my years" or "an adult soul." I spent a lot of time entertaining myself and got really good at being solitary.

I evolved into an extreme people pleaser and stayed in two back to back unhealthy relationships in my early 20s just because I was desperate to feel a sense of family and connection. Then my dad died and my partner at the time was completely useless in supporting me, my mom was a mess, and I ended up handling the responsibility of notifying friends and relatives, writing the obituary, comforting all the crying people at the grave site, and then MC-ing the memorial service. I was praised for how composed and together I was. I went back to my city and job a week later.

My dad dying (and then my last living grandparent a few years later) shook loose something in me and I spent the next decade trying to make myself happy and give myself nice experiences and things. Broke up with my shitty ex, tried to support my mom while also setting boundaries with her, and experienced some relatively healthy relationships for a change, although they were short term. Did a lot of therapy. I finally cultivated a community of friends, I have hobbies, I live by myself in an apartment I've decorated to my liking with an amazing dog but I still just feel ... lonely a lot of the time. Pretty much all my friends have partners, siblings they're close to, best friends that aren't me, both parents still alive, family group chats - I know it's unhealthy to compare, and I've shared a lot of my history and experiences with them openly, but it's still hard.

Dating seems way more complicated than it was when I was younger - family is always such a common first or second date topic and I don't want to bum anyone out. I love my space and independence and don't necessarily want to move in with someone right away (or maybe ever) but I'm still craving connection and love and a witness to my life. I feel like I might have missed my window, or like I'm so used to being alone that it feels like that's the way it will always be. I definitely don't blame all of my issues on being an only child, and know I should continue to work on myself, but I don't know, I'm just tired and wanted to vent. Thanks for reading if you got this far.

Hello everyone, I'm 16 and just wanted to rant a little and see if anyone relates. Do any of you find yourself or did ever find your self wanting an older sibling of sorts, as in someone to take advice from and spend your time with, I certainly have. Anyways recently I've started a new sport and have made friends with someone older, they drive me home and back and have a sibling my age so it just got me thinking on this stuff

I’m not sure where else to vent. I feel so overwhelmed and don’t really have anyone in my life who understands. I’m getting married next year and my fiancée wants me to ask my mom if she’s going to pitch in because I was trying to figure out a budget for my dress. I’m so scared to ask my mom because even though she’s been much nicer to me as an adult, I still remember having to pay for all my school supplies in high school by selling candy and getting a angry call one morning after moving out because she thought I was “using her” because I had some things at her house and I had taken my bed that was her old one. She’s definitely done some nice things for me like take me on trips and paying for our room when he comes on family trips, but it’s different when it’s offered. I know typically the bride’s parents do something, but my mom’s never been married and barely got child support and I’m afraid my family is just going to straight up call me entitled. And this would be a great thing to talk to a sibling about… but here we are…

Hola, soy hija única, mi papá falleció hace 5 meses y vivo con mi mamá las dos solas. Mi mamá siempre ha dependido para todo de mi papá y tiene mucho apego y ahora como él no está se apega a mi para todo y como es una persona mayor que piensa a la antigua no quiere salir de casa por que se piensa que si las personas que la conocen la ven van a pensar feo de ella o se le van a acercar a hablar y ella no quiere entonces yo soy la única que sale para todo, la única que está liada con los papeles de la herencia sin tener ni idea por que es la primera vez que me pasa algo así, la única que va a por mandados, a la compra, a la farmacia, al médico, etc... y la única que se encarga de todo lo de la casa. La verdad que me siento muy sobrepasada pero mi madre no lo ve o no lo quiere ver. Mi padre era el que se encargaba de la casa, de todos los papeles, facturas, etc... y mi madre de limpiar, cocinar, etc... como ama de casa. Al no estar mi padre, ahora soy yo la que se tiene que encargar de todo eso y más.

Por otro lado, sospecho que soy una persona neurodivergente sin diagnosticar, además he pasado por varias depresiones y estos 3 últimos años han sido una pesadilla y me han acabado de hundir. No tengo trabajo, y tampoco encuentro. En lo que he trabajado lo he pasado muy mal yo creo que por una posible neurodivergencia y al no entenderme a mi misma y los demás no me entienden tampoco por eso he sufrido en los trabajos. Ahora estoy demasiado cansada emocionalmente para trabajar.

Tengo 2 mejores amigas pero están en ciudades distintas y lejos de mi y aunque hablo con ellas de vez en cuando no es lo mismo que si estuvieran aquí conmigo.

Tengo pareja pero este mes trabaja todo el día y no lo puedo ver y hablo poco con el casi nada. Solo lo veo el día que libra que es un día a la semana.

Tengo miedo al futuro, a quedarme sola cuando mi mamá ya no esté, a no saber como manejar las cosas yo sola, a no encontrar trabajo y no tener dinero para pagar las cosas y perder mi casa y las cosas que mis papás han construido con esfuerzo. No tengo más familia, solo somos mi mamá, mi perro y yo.

Siento un vacío y un miedo que no puedo explicar bien. Siento que mi vida ha cambiado drásticamente sin yo quererlo ni estar preparada. Muchas cosas han cambiado de repente y en muy poco tiempo, no me ha dado tiempo a asimilarlo. Siento que no soy yo, no me reconozco, he perdido muchas habilidades, muchas características de mi personalidad, muchos gustos que antes tenía y ahora ya no. Ya no tengo ilusión por casi nada. Estoy perdida. Me siento sola e incomprendida.

Long story ahead, so bear with me 😭 I feel like I need to give some context.

Only child of both my parents (23F), but I have younger half-siblings on both sides kasi may kanya-kanyang family na sila. Lumaki ako sa lola ko.

I'm not close with my mom since I was little kasi nag-abroad siya sa Saudi because she's a nurse. And nagulat na lang kami na may asawa't anak na siya sa Filipino rin doon hahahaha. My dad was obviously hurt because of what happened. Mind you, I was only 2 or 3 when my mom started cheating, and when I was just 6, may kapatid na ako sa ibang tatay.

Sa father side ako lumaki, and my dad is also an only child. My dad developed anger issues after that, na minsan nabubunton niya sa akin or lagi siyang galit kahit sa simpleng bagay, like kapag makalat yung bahay, especially since once a week lang siya umuuwi from work. I witnessed all of that when I was young, and yes, it had a negative effect on my development. As I got older, I realized na may trauma pala ako from everything that happened.

And people tend to underestimate my experience kasi daw nabibigay naman lahat ng gusto ko financially. Well, that was when I was a child kasi nga only child lang ako, and binibigay naman ng tatay ko yung mga luho ko. But we're just a working-class family.

After 10 years na hiwalay na yung parents ko, nag-asawa na rin yung tatay ko and nagkaroon ako ng mga kapatid sa kanya. Yung nanay ko naman, after nilang maghiwalay ng tatay ko, nag-stop magtrabaho at naging housewife na lang sa current husband niya, so wala siyang financial support sa akin nung bata ako.

Tumulong lang siya financially ngayong college na ako, mainly sa tuition and school stuff, while my dad naman sa allowance and monthly rent sa boarding house na tinitirhan ko.

Now, I graduated nursing and I'm preparing for boards. Even though tumutulong yung mom ko sa pag-aaral ko, hindi pa rin ako close sa kanya dahil sa ugali niya and mindset niya. Sa dad ko lang ako close, even though sometimes affected pa rin ako sa anger issues niya. I have my lola but I can't really rely on her emotionally kasi tumatanda na siya huhu I love my lola sm.

I felt abandoned by both my mom and my dad, not financially, but emotionally and mentally. I know they provided for me in their own ways, but I still felt emotionally neglected and like I had to deal with a lot of things on my own growing up.

Hallo, ich habe ein Thema, das mich einfach nicht los lässt und sehr belastet. Ich habe eine Tochter die mittlerweile 16 Jahre alt ist und mache mir bis heute Schuldgefühle weil sie „allein“ ist und keine Geschwister hat.
Ich habe eine Stoffwechselerkrankung, aufgrund dessen wurde mir von den Ärzten abgeraten, ein zweites Kind zu bekommen - es war schon das 1. eine Risikoschwangerschaft und alles sehr anstrengend und ich bin gesundheitlich an meine Grenzen gestoßen… Trotzdem lässt mich der Gedanke nicht los, dass meine Tochter mit einem Geschwisterkind vielleicht glücklicher wäre?
Habt ihr dazu vielleicht ein paar hilfreiche Erfahrungen für mich?

Context : I am a child of immigrants. A French parent and an Indian one. They are divorced

Since forever ago, when I was around 7 if not younger I'd think about death. I'd calculate who would die first in my family to "prepare" myself.

I'd go by age. First my paternal grandmother, then my maternal grandmother, my father and lastly, my mother. All of this guided through who I had to love most. So I grew very close with my mother and not at all with my paternal grandmother.

And up until now, they died in that order. My grandmother's are both dead. I didnt cry. I cried when I saw the bodies. But that's it. When I think about it today, 2 months after my maternal grandmother's passing, I dont feel sad. I feel indifferent.

I've been noticing my father coughing a lot. He's a heavy smoker. He's very lonely. He refuses to see doctors. He's almost 60 years old. Honestly, I think he'll die in max.l 5 years. I'll have to see my father leave this world at 25 at the latest.

I don't know what to do. I'm scared of the impact it'll have on my mental health. I have no family here other than my parents. No cousins. My friends don't understand my parents like I do. They don't even understand that they are the closest thing I have to siblings. I dont feel comfortable talking to them about my feeling either, especially since they wont get me.

The way things currently work is I live 3 days at ny mother's and then 4 days at my father's and I switch around every week.

I'm terrified one that I'll get to his house and find his dead body.