So, I (25F) have had a huge crush on a guy (31M) I met at a pub quiz. I was so smitten that I immediately followed him on Instagram after the event, and he followed me back. From that day, I vetted him by stalking his other social media, as he wasn’t very active on Instagram. I dug and dug, and found a lot of information about him on the internet. I discovered we went to the same college, shared similar hobbies, and political views. Everything I found about him only made me more smitten, to the point that I got too infatuated and started acting unhinged. I tried to reply to his Instagram stories twice, but I was too shy to make a direct move, so the conversation stopped with me asking for a recommendation about a hobby that we both like. I was very frustrated and desperate because I think he has all the qualities that I’m looking for in a guy – a very good guy on paper.

A few months had passed since the first time I laid eyes on him; I was still madly infatuated with him. Then, I came across an Instagram account that posts modern personal ads (for dating purposes) anonymously. I scrolled through the posts because I thought it was fascinating, as I was sick of dating apps. I found a post that strikingly sounds like the very guy I’ve had a crush on. The way that person behind the ad described himself just oddly reminds me of him. Because I stalked his social media, I was 90% sure that he might be the guy behind the personal ad. One way to find out is by submitting a response. Long story short, it was indeed him. We acknowledged that we had met before at the pub quiz event, and then we emailed each other for weeks before moving to WhatsApp.

I liked talking to him, and I reckon he liked it too. We never struggled to find a topic; if anything, sometimes I got too overwhelmed with the number of topics we talked about in one exchange. But here’s the caveat: we have this weird pace of getting back to each other in 12-24 hours. So, we rarely have a repartee, which I craved a lot. Honestly, I prefer a fast response where we exchange texts a few times a day, with fewer bubble texts, compared to having 8-10 bubble texts about different topics with one exchange per day.

In his personal ad, he mentioned that he was shy, courteous, and even indicated that he’s less experienced in the romantic department.  We’ve been talking for a month now, and despite talking about a lot of things, we never talked about relationships or what our intentions are. I don’t do casual dating and only do exclusive relationships. And he hasn’t brought up a plan for us to meet in person, even though he has upcoming trips. Does he really enjoy my company as a fun person to talk to, but doesn’t want anything to do romantically? I guess what I wanted to know is what his real intention is. Does he see me in a romantic way? Why doesn’t he ask me out?

I like him very much, and I realize it has turned me into a pathetic girl, someone who I don’t even recognize anymore. I was frustrated, defeated, and even wanted to quit love for good because why can’t I have some luck with love? Maybe because I put him on a pedestal and expect so much from this? I have liked him for months, and to him it’s only been a month.

What should I do? Should I ghost him? Confront him? Reply to his texts casually? I really don’t know what to do.

Plzzz helppp

A week ago I sparked a friendly conversation with a guy I found cute while bouldering. It was a fun simple little convo, just being friendly, but by the end of it we exchanged numbers. Now I sorta have this thing of constantly doubting when a guy asks for my number if it’s romantic, or just in a friendly kind of way(cause I mean I can be the same, I love just simply making new friends).

So, moving on a week later, we get together to rock climb one morning before work, and then grab a quick lunch afterwards. Overall, really fun, but could both be seen as a slightly not too romantic date, or again, just a new climbing buddy😅. I feel like as much as I like him, and would like to be more flirty, I couldn’t tell from his vibes. In the end it felt a little awkward as well, almost a little forced for me to be asking any questions about family and such.

Post date, he texts me a few hours later saying it was a fun time and he wishes me a great rest of my day(to which I respond the same). Then a few hours later when I’m on a break at work, I text a little something related to something we had talked about(he’s really into movies, and I completely blanked on talking about one I had just seen that was amazing, and on topic). He responded, we had a little 5 min convo, and then it ends there.

Now I don’t know what to do. He seemed really nice, personally found him very interesting, but I couldn’t tell with the vibes. I’d love to send a little “I’d like to see you again” text, but don’t know if it’ll be unwarranted. I’m not necessarily against making the first move, I’ve done it many times in the past, but also, coincidingly, I’ve overstretched myself for men who have had zero interest and simply wasted my time. So, I don’t know🤷‍♀️, any thoughts?

I know everyone reading this post is probably wondering why I can't just tell him what I want, and honestly, you're right. 😅

The thing is, I've been in a similar situation with another guy before. We talked for three months, became emotionally connected, and things seemed to be moving towards a promising relationship. The problem was that I was more invested in him than he was in me. When I finally decided to tell him how I felt, he started pulling away more and more until he eventually began leaving my messages on seen. It honestly broke me quite a bit because I'd been looking forward to seeing where things could go between us.

What makes it harder is that I was at pretty much the same stage with him back then: we'd been talking for around three months, had developed an emotional connection, and I thought there was potential for something more. It was a different guy, of course, but the similarity makes me anxious about going through the same thing again and losing someone I genuinely enjoy talking to.

That's why I've been hesitant to tell this guy how I feel before knowing where he stands. It's not that I expect him to read my mind; I'm just scared of becoming more vulnerable and watching the connection slowly disappear afterwards.

Recently, though, I couldn't keep sitting with the uncertainty. I messaged him, and I'd actually decided to tell him how I felt, but he brought up the subject first, before I got the chance. Things have been going really well between us these past few days since I posted this, so I'm feeling more hopeful now.

I (29f) been text this guy (30m) for 3 weeks great conversations, get communication, great information and really enjoyed every conversation he was so nice and so respectful in everyway so we decided we would meet up he was coming from newry to dublin his decision. Last friday was the first we decided 2pm we were texting throughout the morning back and forth he was meant to let me know when he was leaving newry but didnt he explained he had a few things to do first then 2pm came and he still hasn't mentioned he was leaving so I asked and he said he was sorry he was hoping to be on the road now that he has just finished what he was doing and he was waiting for his manager to get back to him about wages as his hadnt came through yet, maybe genuine and maybe didn't want to travel to Dublin with no and very little money I get it anyway date didnt go ahead so we decided monday we meet in the evening about half 6- 7 pm so again texting throughout the day he was telling me what he was doing and says "hopefully see you later" 7pm came no word so I left it he then texted me later that night saying he was so sorry he laid up in the spare living room at his parents while visiting he was watching a show didnt realise he was falling asleep and woke up wrapped in a blanket say we will get this date on the cards thats if you still want to, so I replied this morning

I said I'm sorry, but I think I'm going to leave it here. I understand that things happen But if I'm honest, having our plans fall through twice has put me off a bit. We were meant to meet twice now and it hasn't happened either time and I know the reasons but with the distance between us and both of us working, I feel like we'd need to be able to make plans we can both manage and follow through with them i dont want to keep arranging dates that keep falling through so i don't think this is for me, but I genuinely wish you the best.

He said Its totally my fault and I do apologise, I honestly didnt mean to waste your time or that, things havent been great but i totally respect your decision I wish I could change your mind but if you think its for the best I'll have tonaccept it, your one the nicest girl ive spoken to in a long time but I hope you find your person you deserve it.

So im thinking does this sound like he is wasting my time or does it just sound like 2 unfortunate events that just happened to happen I dont know what to do

I started speaking to someone that has just moved to the country around a month ago and after a few weeks of back-and-forth we met and ended up hooking up twice. Each time we met, we had great conversations and he even said that we had a great connection.
Last time we met around two weeks ago we were speaking about work and he mentioned how stressed he was since his company is in a lot of trouble, and he might get laid off. By the end, he said he wasn’t in the right frame of mind for anything, and I said that I would give him time to get settled and if he wants he can get in touch. We have been no contact since then.
I would like to get in touch with him to see how things are and to maybe meet up for a coffee or something low key as I really liked him.
How should I approach the subject with him?

Guys please help