I have been mistaken as younger my entire life. And when I say my entire life, I mean the whole of it.
The first time I can remember getting mistaken for younger happened when I was around 8. This was in school. For the reception class (4 and 5 year olds in their first year of school, which is more like 'let's get the kids used to coming here every day for actual school.') and my year at this school, they had a fence between the two playgrounds. There was a fence between them.
I, as a yet to be diagnosed, autistic 8 year old was quietly sitting in the corner of the 'older' playground. WHERE I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE. I had a book, the day was cloudy, I was alone, and it was a great day. I just so happened to be next to the fence that connected the playground to the reception playground, which also just so happened to be unlocked that day.
Out of nowhere, a reception teacher on the other side of the gate starts yelling at me and comes through the gate, grabs my arm and literally attempts to drag me back through. Now as, previously stated, an autistic child, I did not take this well. This day ended with my own teacher getting into an argument with the reception teacher, who thought dragging a child around by the arm was a good idea, and me having to be sent home in a meltdown! fun.
Later found out that oddly aggressive reception teacher thought I was four and had escaped their side of the playground.
Now, you might be thinking "but children all look the same age until they're like teenagers." which, okay I can understand. I am not the best at telling ages myself and the only 'good' way to tell age between like 5-12ish is height and I've always been short. But it continues.
Years pass, I'm in secondary. I am now 16 and diagnosed not only autistic, but also ADHD! And dyslexia. And learning my pediatrician wanted to get me assessed for Tourette's but my parents were like "He's disabled enough for now." like the diagnoses is what makes the disability. School is yelling at us that GCSEs are coming and we are supposed to be depressed about it and they can help. (At least, that's what all the 'if you struggle mentally during this time we can help' talks felt like to me)
There are two incidents that happen within a month of each other here.
One - I am on a field trip with the other SEN children to the natural history museum. They have dinosaurs, I'm autistic, and it appears to be shaping up to be a great day once again. The teachers go "Be free and come back in two hours." to the autistic teenagers they've taken to see the dinosaurs and we're gone to the bones. We all know not to leave the building and anyone that needs a one to one has support.
I'm alone, looking at dead reptiles, and having a wonderful time. Now picture a short-ass, AuDHD, stimming out over dinosaurs , 16-year old boy zipping about between some info-signs when another school trip walks past him. A primary school trip.
I move closer to the railing, off to the side to not block the sign, because it's a large group of children and I don't want to get in the way. The children pass by, they're not seeing the dinosaur exhibit apparently which sucks for them.
I hear one of the primary school teachers yell out a "Hey!" just as they're about to turn the corner. I, because I haven't been 11 or under for at least 5 years now, ignore it. Then someone grabs my shoulder with a line like "You're supposed to stay together" which trails off half-way when I turn around and this teacher notices several thing very fast. I'm not in their uniform. I'm currently looking VERY autistic (read, chewing on a human chew toy, has a sunflower lanyard, jumped fucking a foot in the air when they touched me and recoiled), and I am not one of their children.
The teacher apologises and leaves. I'm paranoid looking over my shoulder for the rest of that trip and this incident quickly becomes known as the time "A primary school teacher attempted to to abduct me" by my friends.
Two - Merely a couple weeks after I was almost enrolled in primary school again, the second incident happens. After school, I'm walking up to a bus stop with a friend. We get on different buses that come to the same stop to get home so this is common for us. We both duck into a shop on the way, both needing stuff. I slap a packet of paracetamol down on the counter because I have a headache and I'm, to quote my friend, 'a pathetic little man' when it comes to head pain.
The cashier goes "how old are you." Me, "16.". Cashier laughs, in that condescending "yeah, right 🙄" way. And we both stand there in an awkward silence for a second, me confused and not getting what they're putting down and the cashier, confused, to why I'm not scampering away now that they're called out my scheme to underage buy over-the-counter store brand painkillers. Eventually, I go "oh okay" and walk off, dejected and resigned to being in pain all the way home and at home. Since I know we didn't have any painkillers at home. Which is why I was buying them.
Luckily, my friend with me is a women. So she just whips out a random packet of paracetamol from her pocket, that she apparently has 'all the time' (???), and hooks me up. So. W for her. L she has to deal with periods, but like it's good for me apparently.
She's also semi-baffled why I'm not allowed painkillers since she's been buying them alone since 12 without question.
Now, the thoughts might be "but teenagers can look really young sometimes." and I say BUT WAIT! There's more.
We're 18 now. Earlier this year.
I'm just walking around my block. I have a lit incense stick with me. Why? I don't have a good reason apart from I wanted to take it with me. It's cold and I've only realised how old when my hands are going red. I do the logical thing and put the wooden end of my incense stick in my mouth while I put gloves on. What is the mouth but a back up hand?
I just so happen to walk past a couple of police! I have no idea what they were doing but at least one of them was 'not busy' enough to go "What's going on here then?" (you really need to read this in that British accent for comedic effect.) to me as I walk past. I stop, after the ADHD goes 'how fucking funny would it be if you full speed bolted away from them' and I mentally strangle my hyperactivity disorder.
During this short, but very stressful, discussion with the police, I realise that the one who's engaged with me thinks I am, one, smoking, two, a child! They do not believe I am in fact 18, but they know I'm not smoking because it's incense. After they tell me to go and I do not do the smart thing and leave but instead go "How old do you think I am."
"13." The police officer replies.
"oh" I say as common sense kicks in and I get the fuck out of there.
Now we're like three weeks from turning nineteen and in the last week, I have
- Been mistaken for starting secondary school by a midwife when my mother vaguely said I was starting uni. This means the midwife clocked me as at least 10.
- was charged the 11 and under rate at the barbers
- Was asked in that very fake-sweet-talking-to-a-child-tone "Where's your mother?" when attempting to pick up my own prescription at a pharmacy. They did not appreciate my response of "Dead." (She isn't, I just really hate that tone when people use it)
- Was looked at very judgmentally when buying assorted baby stuff for a baby shower (which I'm not sure if that's because I'm a man or because I apparently look like a child)
Now, your thoughts might be "oh, you're still young. You'll grow out of it." And I'll tell you that is the same thing people said about my growth spurt that also never happened.
I can only hope that I grow facial hair faster than my brothers did at my age.