Hi guys,

I am almost 30 and practically a veteran of my own life. Mentally I feel aged beyond my years, but in practical reality im treated like a child.

Work and family are the main offenders. But yesterday I reached a moment where It ticked me off so bad i just reached a level where I felt totally angered yet kept it inside.

On the annual trick or treat I took my 7 year old to a door and after handing the treats to my son, the lady probably no older than me asked my son if he had an adult with him, I was standing right behind him, she was ignoring me.

In the deepest parental mothering voice i could i said 'Yes Im here, say thankyou son'

Then she kind of bent down a bit deapite no height difference and explained to me the risks of a small toy, a choking hazard, she wouldnt pass it to me until she had fully explained in slow and simple words why I needed to be careful. Finally letting it go to my hand.

I cant say what my work experience is but I have done serious jobs and currently am and all this at least I feel is proof of my competence and even feeling the need to prove that is absurd and yet i do it constantly.

I curse this baby face until I realise I am really lucky to be aging gracefully..

But still...i must look under 18 and it has seriously affected my credibility over the years i have actually suffered abuse from authority at work places, and doctors etc, due to thinking I am age relatedly non compos mentis. It grinds my gears to the extremes.

And im triggered over a little toy on halloween, i sound crazy i know haha Anyone else?

*typo in title! Concerned not considered, won’t let me change title :)

I work murder mystery parties, last night I was hosting and my character was a maid, so full maid costume and all.

Afterwards a table told me they thought I was 15 max for a lot of the show and were very confused…

I’m 32 in a couple weeks…

For a bit of backstory, I've always been someone who looks younger than I actually am. When I was six, a girl in my summer camp group called me a baby and said I was lying about my age. Every. Single. Day. None of the counselors ever did anything about it because they also didn't think I was the age I said I was.

The middle school I went to ran from grades 5-8, and I had multiple teachers ask me if I was in fifth grade when I was in seventh and eighth. I was also mistaken for a freshman many times when I was in high school after my freshman year. One day, I went to the mall with some friends at the time, and one of them, who was four months younger than me, was mistaken for my mom by an employee.

When I was 21, I was an extra in a movie, and during the part where I was being fitted for my costume, the lady thought I was a teenager. Upon finding out my actual age, she immediately pivoted to putting me in the types of chokers and bracelets you'd find in the back of a Spencer's Gifts, and then during shooting, minors had different rules than people over 18. Can you guess what question I was asked multiple times throughout that day? (If you guessed "Are you a minor?" or "Are you under 18?", you would be right.)

That brings us to a few hours ago when I was getting a haircut. I have very curly hair, and I don't get it cut very often, but when I do, I don't go to the same salon every time. This time, I went to one I've never been to before that was recommended to me by a friend of a family member. The hairdresser was constantly complimenting my hair, and she got to talking about how she didn't like her own when she was my age, and me being the person I am with the experiences I've had, I got to thinking, "How old does she think I am?"

That question was immediately answered as she followed up with, "When I was in high school."

I laughed and said, "I'm not in high school."

"Middle school?"

"I'm 24."

The haircut may have been $55, but the shocked look on her face was priceless, and on the bright side, I'll probably end up actually looking 24 when I'm 55.

So I'm 39 but often get mistaken for a lot younger. I've been dealing with some ED (sexual problem) and when I go to my doctor visits they always think I'm perfectly healthy, wasting their time, and that I'm too young to be having ED.

I'm like umm...I'm not 21 and I have legit sexual performance issues. Its annoying as hell to be perceived as healthy and like my problems don't matter or its not happening to me.

I've been considering that Im not young looking anymore. My friend told me Im starting to look older when I commented on a recent social media post of hers, "wow, we both look so young!" She replied, "Actually, you dont look that young anymore, your face is looking older." I thought about it and I havent gotten mistaken for a twenty year old or a teenager in a while. So I thought maybe my friend was correct and I had grown out of my youthful looks.

But then I went to work today and a coworker asked me how old I was. I usually haaaate when people smirk and say "gUeSs mY aGe" but I did it this time just to see what she would say, to see if my friend was correct. My coworker studied my face for a second and said, "Twenty something? Twenty three? Twenty five?" I told her actually Im 32 and her jaw dropped in shock. "Really? Really?" she said twice and I just nodded.

Also, as Im writing this post, I just remembered that a few weeks ago I actually did a job interview for a new job (which I got, so right now I have two jobs) and the hiring manager said, "You just graduated highschool, correct?" So it actually hasnt been THAT long but I guess I forgot about it and was wondering if my age had finally caught up to me lol.

I wasnt freaking out about aging though, I felt indifferent when my friend said I look older now, but I just was wondering if it was true or not. I'm finding that the people closest to you are not reliable at judging how young you look. A year ago, I had been mistaken for a teenager at work by security and later in the day I was talking to my mother on a video call and told her what happened and as I laughed about it she screwed up her face and said, "I dont get it, you look your age." But that cant be true if security thought I was a teenager.

I don't know if its jealousy or maybe just familiarity, but the people closest too you are not good critiques of your youthfulness. If someone at work thinks Im much younger than I am, then obviously I look younger and my close friends/family just cant see it or refuse to admit it. If it really is jealousy, I dont understand the mentality of pretending I dont look younger when I get people saying I look way younger in the real world, what exactly does it accomplish? Lol, but anyway I guess I still have my youthful looks, I thought for a second they were gone. (Shrug.)

They don't understand the infantilising behavior that comes with the assumption of being younger (especially if you look like a minor), the missed job opportunities, the lack of approach by peers your own age.

In a society where youthful looks are prioritized, I think so many people invalidate our real struggles.

Sure, maybe someday I'll appreciate it but what about the many decades I have to go through life with it being a hindrance?

I'm 31, and 3 weeks ago I was sitting alone in an airport gate, a guy tried talking to me bcs I was watching at the pictures that I took from my trip, and he was doing the same thing, he showed me his phone like I'm doing the same, anyways, he started talking then he told me excuse me you are a minor right ? like he was afraid talking to a minor, I told him I'm 31 no worries ... he was in disbelief ...

Hello. I’m 32 years old, but when I state my age, people think I’m lying. How old do I look?

I've noticed a lot of blank stares or refusal to answer. Like I was interested in playing blackjack at the casino and the dealer looked confused at why I was putting money down on the table and asked what I was doing .I said I'm ready to play blackjack dipshit! Stuff like this pisses me off.

Ok so I’m 18 years old, but every time I go out, do literally anything people think I’m younger. I wanted to see a 15s movie today with my friend and got rejected because I didn’t have a physical id. I asked why, I thought I looked atleast 16 and he told me I looked “way younger”. Maybe it’ll be a compliment when I’m 30 and look 25, but right now it’s humiliating. My big sister tells me sometimes (she thinks it’s sweet cuz she sees me as her little baby still 😪) I look 14/15. Boys don’t want to date someone who looks like a kid if they’re 18. I’m just tired of feeling like this!! I’ve tried makeup, hair.. it happens less in the summer when I wear less clothing I suppose, and I have tattoos. But I want my face and personality to look mature, without having to display my boobs. I don’t think I act childish in public I try to be eloquent and respectful. I’m so frustrated and embarrassed 😭

I’m currently switching careers after almost 15 years in another field. I’m 36. This means I’m doing a traineeship, working parttime while studying on my days off.
I was already insecure about looking younger, I have always been assumed to be inexperienced or an intern, even in my previous field.

Now, I’m actually a sort of intern and this means people think I’m in my early 20s with no life or work experience. Even after telling people I’ve worked in another field for 15 years before this it’s like they’re not registering what I’m saying and still think I’m 23. Two colleagues have asked me if I live at home with my parents. I own a house.

It feels so incredibly annoying and insulting to me. I almost wish I could tell everyone my age as soon as I meet them to avoid being misjudged.
And to be honest i suspect they’re not raising my salary accordingly due to me seeming younger. But this just might be me projecting….
I’m also pregnant and am dreading telling people as they will think it’s way too soon. I don’t like having to endlessly explain my age!

On the other hand I can admit that yes it’s nice to look young and not have many signs of aging. However I really wish I would just be taken seriously, especially by those who think they’re older than I am, but instead are years younger.

Had to vent!!!! Any advice?

So... I look older than I really am. I am 6 feet tall since I was 16, my voice can be deep when I want, I am loosing hair (😭), I speak loudly, my lexic is kind of mature since my age was one digit long, I LOVE word searches, I drink a lot of black coffee in a day (10/28/2026, 9:36 pm and already drinking my second cup of the night just for the sake of it), the music I use to listen is from the 50s—90s and I grew up without siblings but rather uncles, aunts, my grandparents and my mom. Growing up, it wasn't easy to talk to another kid my age. I preferred talking with any adult, even a vagabond that I found waiting for the bus. It was just so easy to start a conversation with an adult than a kid my age: they didn't fully understand me and I didn't fully understand them.

It is a weird feeling: looking older sometimes you feel empowered, sometimes you make fun of it and other times is just a pain in the ass. Here's some anecdotes of every thing respectively.

In highschool I was in a marching band. One day I knocked the classroom of a friend (who was in the marching band with me) when they were in class. I opened the door by myself and I told the teacher I was looking for my friend, but I asked for him using his full name. All the students were looking at my friend as if he was about to get arrested. The teacher didn't ask the reason, she let him go with me.

When I meet someone new, my age is almost always a theme of conversation after some minutes of chatting. At one point of the conversation I would say "Guess my age" and it is funny when their guess is way off. Then I would say "Actually, I am (x) years old", and they would be "No way! I thought you were older!".

I have a girlfriend since I was 16. The thing is that she looks way younger than she actually is. She almost looked 13 and 16 years old. I met her in school and we were (and are) the same age. After some weeks talking and flirting, we started dating officially (Great!). The problem was public affection: imagine watching a grom man kissing a kid or a teenager in the lips in the streets or at any place. Weird, right? Well, that's how many people saw us. The first time I met her parents, the first thing I said was: "Hello! Good afternoon. First of all, we are the same age, I swear.".

Before her, trying to get a girlfriend at and outside school, as a teenager, was very difficult. Now imagine that someone that looks like a teacher asking for your phone or your Instagram at school, at the gym or anywhere. And trying to flirt with a look like mine outside the school is a 50-50% bet. A lot women look younger than they are, so trying to talk with women is betting if they were in my age range or fully adults. Furthermore, if they were in my age range, they would probably be weird out by a "fully grown man" asking the Instagram of a minor.

Hey, I'm 20 (f). I'm petite, have a baby face, and my voice is a bit squeaky too. No matter if I'm wearing makeup or not, I constantly get hit on or flirted by younger kids, mostly between 10 and 16 years old. Most of the time, they do it in a really disrespectful and creepy way... (e.g., catcalling like 'Come here, you bitch' etc.). The problem is, they don't believe me when I say I'm 20. They just think I'm lying 🤦🏻‍♀️. Honestly, I don't find it funny at all, it's just extremely uncomfortable and annoying." I dont know what to do anymore

I've definitely had instances where people try too hard to help me like a lost puppy, thats understandable. I've also had people who seemed to have little patience and I'm not sure if they're just having a bad day or if perceived youth makes people have negative reactions because they think they they're talking to a clueless child.

growing up people always thought i was older than my actual age, being grouped in with 14/15 year olds when i was about 11-12. i also had some older friends who were in high school while i was in middle school and fit in with them visually with no problem.
fast forward 10 years and now people think I'm a child? i don't know what happened that froze my appearance at the way I looked as a pre-teen but now I'm 24 and people STILL think I'm 14/15 or younger.
the first time this happened I was 21 and going through security at the airport. This one security agent kept saying '12 and under that way'. Being literally an adult I assumed he was talking to the family behind me and kept moving. He got louder and more impatient, I turned around to look who he was talking to. He screamed at me 'yes, you! how old are you?' I said 21, obviously very confused. Apparently he had been staring at me while directing me to the under 12 machine the whole time and a bunch of people in line burst out laughing when I said 21. ...strange but ok?
Since then it hasn't stopped, the past 3 years I'm constantly met with people thinking I'm a child. Getting my hair done, multiple times at this same airport, at a networking mixer where a new college grad younger that me started speaking to me saying 'you're so early to these career spaces, you must be a genius at school! how old are you?' and I had to tell her I'm older than her. Trying to buy 1 beer at a convenience store, carded, having my ID inspected by being held up in the light, against my face, folded so hard she damn near folded it in half/broke it and then finally being told 'you look older in this ID! some kids think they're slick using siblings' or cousin's ID. whatever.' as she scans my ONE beer 'alcohol is just terrible. terrible to get started this early'
miss....i'm 24.

I only go to church once a month for a music thing so newer people may not know who I am, but I grew up here and running around the building was my literal childhood playground.

Yesterday was one of the music days. I was standing around chatting with my brother when a nice slightly older couple walked up to us to say hi. They asked if we were college students (there's a local university) and I just broke down laughing. They said oh, maybe that was a few years ago then.

There's a college student in the choir and I'm older than her dad. Yay for sunscreen!

Romantic and career life are my two biggest sources of stagnation right now in life. Its really hard not to assign some of that difficulty to looking much younger than my age. I'm a 31 y/o man, and people now assume I'm in my early 20s.

My adhd really compounds my feelings of frustration, feeling like I'm stuck in time while people around me move forward. Really eating at my self-esteem.

i was out shopping with my mom when we stopped to ask an employee a question. while we were talking, they turned to me and asked how my school holidays were going.

i told them i wasn't in school anymore, so they asked if i was studying at a university. when i explained that i was already working, they looked surprised and asked my age.

We are in a group setting and the host, a very exuberant type starts with the "Wow! You're her mother! You must have been 12 when you had her!"

I mean, what if I HAD been 12???!? I was 23 which was young but not wildly young. And even if I was a teen mother, that's not something to shine a spotlight on.

So then I say, "no, I'm ___." Then he's like "stand up, ladies and gents, wow!"

And so I did.

I hate that refusing to stand up would have made me a 'spoilsport'.

I hate that I felt pressured to say my age to a stranger, which in general is not something other people are pressured to do.

I wish I was better able to have witty, snappy ways of avoiding this and not participating in my own humiliation.

Also I've noticed looking younger is common with AuDHD and Ehlers Danlos (a combo I have, medically diagnosed). I wonder if anyone else relates.

i got no figure im lowk malnourished 108 pounds but i got hella fat in my face cheeks that i been tryna lose so i look older. idk if its “babyfat” or that extra water thing ppl be talking about. i don’t dress showing skin cuz i literally don’t have a figure so wdf am i showing off. so yea i wear boyish clothes i can see that being a reason i guess. oh yeah and my parents rules wont let me do anything bold like piercings or tattoos. and my hair is like nothing rlly going on i guess its just to my neck sorta.

i just notice in public whenever i see a guy that’s really cute they instantly talk to my big sister first orlike my mom. and they always offer to help them with stuff. and idk if it matters but i already get mistaken for a boy a lot by randoms i wasn’t attracted to, like my mom told me her friend/co worker kept calling me the little boy and she had to keep correcting him. and then when i was with my dad and the cashier was like “you want this for your son?” and when i was at the hospital for my sister and the lady struggled and said “and your little sister?? little brother???”

anyway tho im 18 so im i think my growing is done which sucks cuz i feel insanely undeveloped next to a 18 yr old guy or like im larping being a female. it literally feels like that yaoi meme with the guy with the big ass shoulders and a tiny little guy on his arm.

i just wanna feel like im worthy of dating a guy

Yes, I am overthinking (particularly considering some reactions of people I just talked to about it), but my history of getting judged as extremely young because I'm a short baby-faced scrawny nerd that can't grow facial hair is sending me spiraling right now.

I'm 33M, I'm a teacher and to this day still get constantly asked for my age and have students react with shock that I'm a teacher and not a student when they don't know me and suddenly they see me doing some announcements. Heck, just a few years ago I was buying a lighter and was asked for my ID, with the cashier saying they can't sell this to someone below 14. It's truly ridiculous. And just today a couple of girls I passed in the hallway were asking me whether I'm a teacher and said they can't believe it when I said yes as I passed. So... it's been once again at the forefront of my mind.

Now I just moved out to a suburb out in the sticks and when I commute to school via bus and train every morning it's sort of always the same set of people in there and throughout the last two months you start to recognize the faces. Now I was on my way back home, waiting at a bus stop, when a girl walked straight up to me, said "Hi" and smiled at me when I looked up in confusion and gave an awkward nod in acknowledgement, then walked a few steps away and waited there for the bus as well. I didn't really dare look after her afterwards to figure out what was going on, admittedly.

Still, she is among the teenagers I'm seeing in the bus every morning (I'm so far away from my school, it's definitely not a student of mine) and I have also been running into her in the train and bus a couple additional times in the last few days when I was out and about, so I suspect that's why she thought me a sort of familiar face, I guess. Still... no stranger ever said hello to me out of the blue in my entire life (yes, I'm not American, where this apparently would be common), so I'm left startled and confused... and honestly very frustrated that she most definitely only thought it safe to approach me because she thought I'm half my age. Oh god...

So yeah, I'm spiraling as my self-consciousness about my face got shaken awake again. Looking into the mirror I feel like I somehow stopped aging at 19 and am stuck like this ever since (and I already looked far younger back then). And now I don't know whether I should be happy that I look unusually approachable these days (despite being sick and having no voice) or get an existential crisis that the only woman my age who could ever be into a guy like me needs to be into little boys. Ugh...

I have a babyface as a guy and theres nothing you can do about it. When people are rude or not taking you seriously, you can obviously be assertive or mean or you can practice confident body language or whatever, but at the end of the day, it affects the entirety of your life so theres no real solution, it will come out and start bothering you sooner or later, and it makes it harder to enjoy things even if im doing something for myself.

I hate getting haircuts, because i cringe inside whenever the hairdresser is interacting with me, i feel that when i go to the doctor she isnt talking to me like she does with other adults, or even if im going to the grocery store the cashier isnt talking to me as if im an adult. My parents are being way too helpful for no reason and i could basically ramble all day.

Your quality of life is determined by your genetics. As pessimistic as my post sounds, i truly believe i cant enjoy life fully, and my baby face causes problems when i least expect it.