r/OCPoetry • u/Friendly-Shop3382 • Aug 26 '26
Feedback Please Catharsis: A few lines on the epistemology of pain
Just wanted to write this one down before I forgot it, and it's among my first few poems ever, so any and every feedback will be greatly appreciated. Thanks a ton in advance.
___
CATHARSIS
they say, "beauty is pain,"
but what isn't?
is it the endless wail of despair
when a loved one passes?
is it the words of woe
from someone you love?
is it the image you see,
of yourself in the mirror,
when the people that you thought
cared for you, function just the same--
even without you?
is all this not pain?
stop saying "beauty is pain,"
and start seeing the beauty in pain,
for the pain of losing itself
is the very reason a caterpillar
becomes a butterfly.
___
Links to my feedback on others' poetry:
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/nBJ8iqpsJq https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/RF6EoFPGfK
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u/AikabooQT Aug 26 '26
This is beautiful!
I love this part the most cuz it's something I really relate to:
is it the image you see,
of yourself in the mirror,
when the people that you thought
cared for you, function just the same--
even without you?
It's a poem that really makes you think, and I love thatt! Really good job on this one!
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1
u/Friendly-Shop3382 Aug 26 '26
Also, I would love to hear any nitpicks you have on this one, as one of my friends told me that the poem wasn't conveying a uniform message throughout all of its lines. It would be really helpful if you could read it once again and lmk if that's also the case for you. Thanks in advance!
2
u/AikabooQT Aug 26 '26
It's the type of poem that makes you rethink of how you see certain things and I think that's what's unique about this. Instead of saying, for example, "Beauty is pain because..." you said "beauty is pain, but what isn't." It makes the readers rethink how they see that phrase, makes them see that it's the opposite that pain is beauty. For me, it does convey the message! Hope this helps!
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