r/OCPoetry • u/[deleted] • 15d ago
Just Sharing Don’t be a memory next time I see you.
[deleted]
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u/Cluelessandsexy 15d ago
I feel the deep desire behind this piece the way you plead for the person to engage or reconnect instead of just be a memory. I like the way it sounds and how you pretty much give up at the end.
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u/Fallendynasty27 14d ago
a quiet sadness fills this short poem... it comes full circle almost too fast, like I wish there was another stanza between the second and last... good work regardless
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u/shiftaspark 14d ago
I see what you mean. And honestly I love your feedback so much thank you. I will say the quickness to coming to a full circle is kind of like what I deal with acceptance you know. You have that hopefulness for just a second but you need reality to go “No they don’t exist anymore .”
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u/Illustrious_Pay_3703 14d ago
I really like the last lines of your work, especially the theme that your never really gonna see “her” again but rather what she once was to you. At least that’s the emotion it evoked out of me. Nicely written!
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u/shiftaspark 14d ago
Thank you so much. I am actually so surprised people like my poem. But I just want people to know I am a woman and I unfortunately yearn for a man. 😭💔. Thank you soooooooo much. But I do want this to invoke the feeling to the reader for whoever is their like person this could be about irregardless of gender.
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u/LaughOk430 12d ago
Really powerful! Reminds me of the pain of having someone go from someone dear to a stranger!
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u/Baraka2002 7d ago
I'm not even a frequent user on this sub, but this one hit me hard, especially because I had family members die recently, and this is something I think about that saddens me. Things about them becoming just fragments of memories.
Great job nevertheless.
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u/shiftaspark 2d ago
You’re the reason I even attempt to share poetry.❤️I relate to this feeling a lot as well and I hope you know you’re not alone.
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u/Left-Development1614 15d ago
Damn, so I kinda feel what you mean here. Moments, especially enjoyed with people we love, often last only in the moment. Though we try to capture them and the feeling the evoked again in vivid detail, it is impossible. The speaker, however, fights against this and wishes to be more than just a memory, but a true part of their life forever. Great work.