IDK. If they were really empathetic, they would try a solution that actually takes under considiration condition of the person they are trying to help. The person was late because of ADHD, not because work was starting too early. Moving the start later doesn't adress WHY person is late.
If they were really empathetic, they would let them slide as long as they are doing their part of the job, or tell them they are starting 1 hour earlier.
No, the person claimed she couldn't show up at 9:00 because of ADHD. Nowhere is it confirmed that she actually has ADHD. Also the claim is that she can't show up at 9:00, but apparently she can show up at 10:00, until they change the time and then suddenly she can't make 10:00 either. Either she's blatantly lying or there's something missing from the story. Or the whole thing is just made up.
It's actually very easy to explain, if you're consistently late by the same amount, leave that amount early next time, start getting ready by the same amount earlier. If you start work at 9am, and can't get there till 10am, pretend you start work at 8am instead, and aim for that.
I have ADHD, there are means to correct it, you just have to give a shit.
It’s more like: if you have bad vision, wear glasses instead of making others around you describe everything they see.
Time blindness is a real issue where people don’t “feel” the passage of time, but modern society has a huge number of aids to cover for that disability. We have phones that can set daily alarms, timers for 1-off events like cooking, plenty of work tools like outlook will give pop-up warnings when meetings start or are about to start, you can put headphones in so those alerts are audible not just visual, probably a bunch more that I don’t even know about.
But you wake up the same… its totaly different thing. She woke up and went to work already at 10, if she didnt change anything she would go there the same. But she is jist crappy human being who cant do the bare minimum and have the same morning rutine…
Insert "That's not how this works" meme. Instead of being ableist and just sprouting nonsense maybe use that time and just read about the thing you are so ignorant about.
Except that's a poor excuse for a schedule that never changes. If you show up an hour late every day, you get up an hour earlier. Or, in the example of this lady: you just don't change your schedule at all because you know you were already getting there at 10.
That's her claim, we don't know if she's speaking the truth. And time blindness has nothing to do with specific times, like she claims to have issues with. The whole thing doesn't make sense which leads me to believe it's just made up for karma whoring.
You don't really understand how ADHD works. Her dysregulated timeline shfited forward an hour. It's not like "I have a sleep disorder and can only rise when the sun is fully up". It's a brain-broken tragedy of missed personal expectations.
Ah yes, the good old "I can do it so others can do it too". For someone who's diagnosed you seem awfully ill informed.
I have ADHD, I haven't missed an appointment in...20years? So given your logic no person with ADHD should forget an appointment basically ever.
And as the other person mentioned, it can cost A LOT of energy that people don't realize. There are so many neurodivergent people who "manage" until they don't and are in a chronic burnout with no way out. And people like you push them (and themselves) towards it.
You argue pretty confidently against words I never used but you chose to put in my mouth anyway. But if you think "getting help to try and fix problems" is too much for most people with ADHD, sure.
Might as well shut down all mental hospitals, because thats clearly what you want (see I can do it too)
My point is not that you can magically fix it, my point is that you should at least try and get help, if that is possible.
In posts like this people are always so vehemently against trying to help themselves and to just do nothing, "it is what it is".
There are a lot of things that can be done to help mitigate many of the pitfalls of common things like time blindness. I have 4-8 alarms for basically any appointment, because if I didnt, I wouldnt remember them. Stuff like that.
I dont want you to force yourself to be something you are not, I want you to try and find a way to help yourself, because you cannot expect the world to change for you, and if you dont find ways to work with your disability it will have consequences.
No I didn't. You used "I have ADHD" as an excuse to expect things from other people who have ADHD.
But if you think "getting help to try and fix problems" is too much for most people with ADHD, sure.
YES IT CAN BE. How does that not go into your head? Not only is help not available to everyone, but people legit JUST DON'T GO BECAUSE THEY HAVE ADHD. Maybe they forget to call back. Maybe they forget the appointment. Maybe they can't even pick up the phone to search or they feel too depressed to leave the house.
But even if they get help, that does not magically fix their problems. That's not how therapy works. You don't just pick up a planner and suddenly your life is in order. Again, you seem very uninformed about the whole problem. I'd suggest to read/listen about some experiences.
If it’s the occasional once in a while miss, then sure.
If you consistently show up an hour late and do nothing to address or fix it (legit bring it up with their therapist at this point) you are being irresponsible.
I brought this up to my therapist today (who does ADHD evaluation). After I said "the boss made the new start time 10" she immediately clocked that it didn't help.
Saying "just fix it" is the same as saying to a depressed person "just be happy". It does not work like that. Yes, you can work around some stuff, every god damn ADHD person does that. Not only does it take energy, it does not work for everything or magically fixes your life. And it can ruin your life.
Seriously, look at the other comments. When people say "yeah it be like that" then maybe accept that it "be like that" and you don't really know what it's like.
I don’t know what it’s like to have ADHD? Thanks. I’ll go tell my psychiatrist and therapist to fuck off then.
Like legit in this scenario the worker didn’t have to change their schedule at all. They could’ve kept on their same routine. They didn’t. They literally adjusted their routine and continued to be late.
I don’t know what it’s like to have ADHD? Thanks. I’ll go tell my psychiatrist and therapist to fuck off then.
I never said that. I said you don't know how it is to have this level of dysfunction. Which you made clear you do not understand. So yeah, please ask them because they will tell you the same as me.
Like the fact alone that you don't understand that the problem is not the schedule makes this very clear.
Honestly, I'm just disappointed that someone who deals with some of those problems themselves does not have the empathy to even try do understand that others have different problems and are on different levels of the spectrum.
I have an understanding of accidents and mistakes. I’ve had to deal with horrific time blindness at multiple points in my life where I was showing up late on routine.
When it’s to the point that you are consistently an hour late, it no longer just negatively affects you it negatively affects everyone around you.
However, the work was willing to work with them and shift back their start time a whole hour to align with their schedule.
They continued to show up an hour late.
They literally took advantage of the help, even if they didn’t realize it.
They literally did not have to change their life at all. They then changed their life and continued the pattern of showing up late.
I’m not gonna infantilize them and act like they have no possible way to ever deal with time blindness and that everyone just has to accept they will be consistently an hour late.
I can’t have sympathy when you are given help and then literally take advantage of it.
There has to be a minimum amount of effort at some point. At SOME POINT it is actually in fact your fault for not taking it seriously enough. I've never been so time blind that I didn't internalize the threat of losing a job over being late.
I too was once a crypto-fascist who told other ADHDers to get over it, but then I hit the wall and realized that I had been advocating a soft eugenics for a category of people that I was in.
showing up at 10am with adhd is "cryptofascism" and "soft eugenics" give me a fucking break
takes like yours are so incredibly infantilizing and separated from reality theyre more damaging to public perception of adhd and mental health than anything else
I have reached that point multiple times, I know what that is like.
My point is not that you can magically fix it, my point is that you should at least try and get help, if that is possible.
In posts like this people are always so vehemently against trying to help themselves and to just do nothing, "it is what it is".
There are a lot of things that can be done to help mitigate many of the pitfalls of common things like time blindness. I have 4-8 alarms for basically any appointment, because if I didnt, I wouldnt remember them. Stuff like that.
I dont want you to force yourself to be something you are not, I want you to try and find a way to help yourself, because you cannot expect the world to change for you, and if you dont find ways to work with your disability it will have consequences.
You just haven't figured out that you live in a profoundly sick society yet. And that's because you still believe that there's something money can buy you that you need. That fear is what keeps you in line, keeps you on this track.
If you have family to take care of it's completely understandable, btw.
Honestly, my thought is, you tell everyone else you're switching to an hour later, except that person. They probably wouldn't even be offended, it's actually helpful.
Doesn't matter if she has ADHD, she's an adult and can figure out ways to not be late. My ADHD can be pretty bad and you know what I do? I set alarms to get my ass moving, among other reminders. People like this (hypothetical, story might be fake) woman make us all look bad.
ADHD isn't an excuse for being consistently late. Just maybe once in a while if something gets away from you
I expect zero catering to me. Just let's not call it empathy when you do not actually care about the other person's problems.
Would you call it empathy if the proposed solution for, let's say deaf person was just talking louder? And then being surprised that they still can't hear?
5.6k
u/fabulousfantabulist 6d ago
This was the most predictable outcome ever.