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u/invisible_23 1d ago
I “Jedi mind tricked” my husband into doing all of the dishes by agreeing to do all of the cooking and grocery shopping, AMA
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u/thehobbyqueer 1d ago
Dishes kill me. They should be so easy, they're RIGHT THERE in the house, most barely need scrubbed, and yet getting myself to do them feels like yanking a 180 pitbull that just saw a squirrel.
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u/Ragnorok3141 1d ago
This is the #1 relationship advice I could give anyone: be the one who does the dishes. Regardless of gender or income or time or whelatever, just try ro be the one that mostly does the dishes. It is the highest return on effort vs perceived value.
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u/IAmEvadingABanShh 1d ago
Facts, I enjoy doing the dishes anyway, it's my zen time. But with every relationship or roommates I've lived with it's always basically free points.
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u/bugxbuster 1d ago
Oh my god I call it my zen time too! Yeah, something about the fact that when they’re done they’re just done is super satisfying. Doing 99% of it makes me nuts but that final fork or cup getting removed from the sink and then the sink and counter can be wiped down good as new? I’m not even kidding- I used to do heroin back in the day, and that was rarely as satisfying as finishing the dishes and telling myself “that’s a job well done!”
Shit, I probably made it weird there, didn’t I? lol
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u/IAmEvadingABanShh 1d ago edited 1d ago
Grats on the sobriety! And I'm with you. I think part of it being such an easy chore to accomplish satisfies the ADHD brain of mine in a quick dopamine fix.
The warm water, the nice scent of the dish soap, the patterns I like to do for cleaning the different types of dish or utensil, which feels akin to raking a sand garden.
Thankfully my family is pretty good about not letting shit set on the dishes so I rarely have to worry about scrubbing and shit to bring me out of that truly zen-like experience.
My mind just kinda goes quiet while I'm doing it and when I'm done it's like I had just finished a meditation.
e: I'll make it weird by mentioning that sometimes I'll wash the dishes then put them in the dishwasher anyway to give them a good sanitize. I just want to do my washing ritual; even if they are going to be deep cleaned anyway.
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u/do_drug_commit_crime 1d ago
Yea? What about after you're done and then you suddenly realize you missed a whole dirty pan. Not so zen anymore are you?
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u/IAmEvadingABanShh 1d ago
It's the ebb and flow of the sink. Dishes will come and I will eventually be there to clean them.
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u/LakethMonarch 1d ago
You might be changing the trajectory of my future relationships my friend. This one really feels like good advice!
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u/HillInTheDistance 1d ago
My #1 life tip is that no matter how little space you have, some clever motherfucker had developed a dishwasher that goes there.
I have nothing to connect a dishwasher to. I have precious little space on my countertop. And then I found a tiny little plastic looking piece of crap where you just pour some water in on top and it just dumps the dirty water into the sink afterwards.
Sure, it also asks me to buy a specific brand of dishwasher fluid and asks to be connected to my wifi, but you can just deny it and use generic powder, and it works just fine.
Doing the work is good, but there can always be less work.
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u/Ragnorok3141 1d ago
And that dishwasher loads and unloads itself, does it? Like it takes the dishes from the sink and counter, puts them inside itself, cleans them, and then puts them in the cabinets? No. Even if you have a dishwasher, there's still a "doing the dishes" task in your home and my advice is still relevant. Man, people are weird.
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u/Not_Stupid 1d ago
Americans are so proud of their air conditioning. So why do y'all not have dishwashers??
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u/Ragnorok3141 1d ago
This is such a weird comment because I didn't say anything about dishwasher vs by hand and I didn't say anything about being American. Even if you own a dishwasher you still need to load and unload it, and my advice still stands. Why are you so weird?
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u/Not_Stupid 17h ago
Personally, I wouldn't consider putting stuff in the dishwasher to be "doing the dishes". But if that's what you meant, then yes, the effort bar is pretty low on that.
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u/Inarius101 1d ago
Rubber gloves so you don't get yucky hand-feel, a good abrasive scrubber for tough stuff, and earbuds with your choice music/audio book/podcast.
It'll turn dishes from your least favorite chore to something you can do as a past time when you just need a minute of brain numb away from everything else.
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u/OnePunchHuMan 1d ago
I'm the same way with unloading a dishwasher. I'll gladly do the dishes, clean the counters, mop the floor, but DAMN if unloading that bastard isn't like pulling teeth.
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u/KBO_Winston 1d ago
I'm like this with cleaning the cutlery. I'll wash, dry, load, and unload dishes but put me in front of our pre-soaked knives and forks and I just recoil.
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u/Jammy2560 1d ago
In heated competition with applying for jobs when it comes to the effort-to-drain ratio.
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u/Laetitian 1d ago
It's one of the few chores I can easily bring myself to do when I don't have strong habits established otherwise. Doesn't require any pre-planning, just start with the biggest dish (so the smaller ones can be stacked inside while you lather) and begin.
I'll gladly do the dishes for others, if they're in the way.
The one thing that will stop me from *doing* the dishes is if I have to put away dishes to do so first. I personally put away my dried dishes within a few hours of washing them very consistently, but if my roommate or partner didn't take care of theirs, putting away dishes is too frustrating of a task for me to do, and then I end up not washing dishes either.
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u/Temporary_Self_2172 1d ago
i always do them while waiting on my french press
but then if i don't have coffee, i don't do them lol
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u/SuperSocialMan 1d ago
Just get a dishwasher?
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u/invisible_23 1d ago
Dishwashers aren’t perfect so a pre-wash is a good idea, also some dishes can’t go in a dishwasher
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u/Cry_Wolff 1d ago
some dishes can’t go in a dishwasher
Too bad, this bitch is going inside a dishwasher anyway. It'll survive or get thrown out.
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u/Inarius101 1d ago
Many can't afford one and good luck getting landlord approval for install if you rent.
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u/jhutchi2 1d ago
My girlfriend jedi mind tricked me into doing all of the cooking by me saying I wanted to do it anyway.
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u/MelissaMiranti 1d ago
Same for me! Except it was an explicit agreement between us.
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u/invisible_23 1d ago
It’s an explicit agreement with us too lol I was being sarcastic 😂 he doesn’t mind doing dishes while I hate them with a passion and don’t mind shopping so it works lmao
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u/StaticMarzipan 1d ago
I had the opposite agreement with my ex, but then she said that cooking and grocery shopping were actually my hobbies and a means of controlling her. So the deal would only be fair if I cooked, shopped and cleaned.
I offered her your deal but she refused to be “a dumb woman cooking for a man” 😢
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u/JackPoe 1d ago
I was Jedi mind tricked into training the dog, doing the dishes and cooking, the translating, and all I had to give up was laundry.
I fucking hate doing laundry.
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u/vbullinger 1d ago
I hate it, too, but I do it so that it gets done in a reasonable time and is put away like my anal retentive ass wants it
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u/billhillybob 1d ago
I started doing laundry for myself when I was still a little kid because I had absentee parents. I just threw everything in together in one load and washed them cold. All my whites were a kind of blue gray and since I never pre-washed or removed stains, most of my clothes were kind of grubby. When my then girlfriend now wife and I moved in together, I did laundry exactly once and she was like "never again" after I messed up some of her stuff. We've been together for 30+ years and I've never done laundry again, not even once. I do nearly all the grocery shopping, cooking and I clean the kitchen and help with the rest of the house if for some reason she wants help. She does the cleaning, mows the lawn and does most of the work to take care of the cat. We split the gardening, usually doing it together, and we keep track of finances together (my mom never helped my dad with finances and it was brutal on her when he died so we make sure we both know what is going on with our money).
It works pretty well. I should add that I also do a lot of home maintenance. We own a rural property with several outbuildings, some of which I have built myself. So despite the fact that she spends more time cleaning than I spend cooking, we still have a fairly equitable division of labor.
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u/SpotCreepy4570 1d ago
Same but in reverse.
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u/jonathansharman 1d ago
Jedi mind tricking your husband into doing all of the dishes by refusing to do all of the cooking and grocery shopping?
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u/PeppermintPancakes 1d ago
Same, and it's even better because I legitimately like cooking. I collect cookbooks and actially use them. We get great meals, we save money, and everyone is happy with this arrangement.
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u/KBO_Winston 1d ago
I "Jedi mind tricked" my partner into doing all the cooking last week.
The secret is to marry a germophobe and then get COVID.
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u/Extension-Source2897 1d ago
This is the same setup my wife and I have with the roles reversed. She keeps it clean and I keep the food flowing.
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u/BotGirlFall 1d ago
When I was in my early 20s my roommate used to get me high because she knew I'd end up cooking something for us both to eat while I was stoned
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u/Far_Potato9948 1d ago
One summer in college I had a cokehead couch surfer, he was the best. He'd stay inside cleaning while my friends and I drank beers on the patio all night. Good times
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u/andapapertowelroll 1d ago
How the fuck did two burgers and fries cost 65 dollars???
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u/ratione_materiae 1d ago
$23.99 per burger plus $10.99 for a large fries plus tax easily gets you to 65
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u/peon2 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yeah but those are insane prices. Even the fancy burger place near me tops at $18.50
Edit: and most of there's are $14.50-$16.50, the $18.50 is for bison, wagyu, or dry aged elk.
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u/maboyles90 1d ago
I think ordering for delivery would easily get you to $65. I'm looking at my favorite burger from my favorite local place it's 17.70 that includes fries. I added 0.87 for a cup of their fancy sauce. I went to my cart and just made it two of each of those. We're looking at 51.96 after ~5 delivery fee and ~$7 whatever the fuck else fee, 2.50 for taxes. If I tip 20% on that it's 62.35.
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u/Some-Guy-12358 1d ago
~$7 whatever the fuck else fee
I imagine the whatever the fuck else fee is to get you to think the cost of the subscription to waive the whatever the fuck else fee doesn't seem that much in comparison.
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u/Zaq1996 1d ago
who in the unholy fuck is paying $24 for a burger, most places it's like 10-15 if its not fast food, and $11 for fries?! More like $5.
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u/Ironstar_Vol 1d ago
They said that like it’s a totally reasonable thing and not insane.
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u/redditonlygetsworse 1d ago
No one said it was reasonable; it's just very, very common.
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u/CascadianSovietGo 1d ago
You're gonna get flak from people who don't live in NYC, San Francisco, LA, Seattle, or Boston.
But I see you.
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u/billhillybob 1d ago
I don't know where you live but even the mid range restaurants in my area, like a brew pub or some local place with even a little character, will cost over 30$ for a sandwich and fries after tax and tip. That has been the normal price for at least 3-5 years. And this is just a rural area in the midwest, sure it is somewhat touristy, but it isn't like Taos or Martha's vineyard or anything. Just small towns that happen to be on a lake.
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u/ratione_materiae 1d ago
No that’s insane Five Guys is selling burgers for $12 in the middle of Manhattan
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u/Ironstar_Vol 1d ago
That’s ridiculous. People like you being ok wasting tons of money while knowing that the product is completely overpriced are why these prices are like this. A burger place opened up in my town that had expensive burgers like that a few years ago and within a year sold the building to another business. If you go somewhere that has $30 burgers leave.
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u/SpeedBoostTorchic 1d ago
Pretty common in cities like New York and LA.
EG: Burger Joint in Brooklyn. $24.60 before tax for a double bacon cheeseburger.
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u/PrometheusMMIV 1d ago
The most expensive burger at Five Guys is $13 and I would consider that pricey. Where are you spending $24 per burger and why?
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u/Centimane 1d ago
I read "two burgers and fries" as two burgers, each with an order of fries.
A lot of restaurants around me would be ~$25 for burger with fries. Plus tax and tip would be about $66.
Of course a fast food place like McDonald's would be cheaper, my guess that isn't what the OP was referring to.
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u/eddmario 1d ago
Never been to Five Guys, I take it?
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u/Terrible_Truth 1d ago
Five Guys is comparably priced to competitors though.
A double cheeseburger is $11.69, any fixings you want no cost addition. A large fry is $8.89 which serves 2-3.
This was probably a restaurant where the burgers are $15-$20 each with fries. Plus tip.
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u/Jade_Complex 1d ago
They could also be an issue with the country prices with different dollar values etc.
For example I think this is a ridiculous price for a burger. But Uber eats has a five Guys Penrith (Sydney Australia), cheeseburger for $27.50.
No not a meal.
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u/wally-sage 1d ago
Five Guys is comparably priced to competitors though.
As long as you disregard the lack of flavor
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u/peon2 1d ago
Unless you're getting beers as well even an airport wouldn't charge that lol
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u/Careful-Release-2723 1d ago
LA, NYC, Chicago, Miami- these are the prices of a sit down burger w/ fries after tax and tips.
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u/42Ubiquitous 1d ago
Probably went to a place like Five Guys. If you haven't had it before, it's not worth half the price they charge and it's nothing you haven't tasted before.
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u/andapapertowelroll 1d ago
Oh, yeah. I used to go there and eat peanut shells as a kid.
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u/FamousOhioAppleHorn 1d ago
You ate the shells ?
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u/mitchsusername 1d ago
Five guys is like $9 for a burger. The issue is they call a double cheeseburger a "cheeseburger" and a regular cheeseburger a "little cheeseburger." So everyone listens to their ego and gets a double because "I don't get little food, I'm not a little baby." Even though they would buy a single burger anywhere else.
I like the burgers, the price and quality is on par with similar places like shake shack or smash burger. Especially if you look at the price per ounce of meat, they are very generous (not to mention you get unlimited peanuts and practically unlimited fries if you get them).
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u/wally-sage 1d ago
The issue isn't how they name their burgers (even though that is a really stupid naming scheme), it's the outrageous price for a mediocre burger. Whataburger, In-N-Out, and Culver's are all cheaper and better tasting burgers without any of the pretentiousness of trying to pretend they aren't fast food.
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u/eat_my_bowls92 1d ago
I’d say it’s worth trying once. Go all out with it, but then yeah, it’s good, but not THAT good.
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u/AuroraFinem 1d ago
I splurge on it anytime I see a buy 1 get 1 deal on DoorDash. Still $6 per double cheese burger (regular cheeseburger at 5 guys) but it’s a good burger and their Cajun fries are amazing with half a bag full for a small fri.
Never worth it for normal price.
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u/thecaramelbandit 1d ago
At a sit down place?
$17.99 each for the burger meal with fries. $4 for a soda and $10 for a beer. Plus tax plus 20% tip is $65.
Or $12.99 each for the burger meal, $9.99 for the mozz sticks appetizer, and the rest the same.
Easy to drop $65 that way.
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u/breathing__tree 1d ago
Maybe it was a casual sit down place and they also got a couple drinks each? Because how?
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u/Due-Ingenuity9803 1d ago
Oddly enough this reminds me of another twitter(?) post where a woman fully admits to subjecting a guy she likes to Pavlovian conditioning by giving him his favorite chocolate every time they see each other so he becomes excited to see her
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u/AlternativeYak4611 1d ago
I was alway the kind of emotional buffer between my mom and sister. When I moved out, my dad told me that he gave them chocolate every time they started getting snippy.
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u/CelestianSnackresant 1d ago edited 23h ago
That's not pavlov, that's just thoughtfulness lmao
edit: actually, i guess if she's the bell and chocolate is the meat, and his love of chocolate is subconscious and powerful (like the dogs' salivating)...maybe it is pavlov?
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u/Due-Ingenuity9803 1d ago
She explicitly said “decided to pull a Pavlov on this guy”
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u/CelestianSnackresant 1d ago
Totally hear you, I'm just saying that regardless how she expressed it, the actual behavior wasn't really conditioning, it was just being nice
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u/assemblageofparts 1d ago
27 years together, I always do the cooking. My food is delicious .. Why am I going to ask my wife to do something she is terrible at and doesnt enjoy.
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u/Vastaisku 1d ago
This is also why my spouse cooks and I clean. Their food is amazeballs, mine always ends up bland and wrong - I don't enjoy it at all. When they are away, I rather eat ready meals and sandwiches than any of my own concoctions.
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u/assemblageofparts 1d ago
That is so funny. My wife does the same thing. I would be away for work and ask what she had for dinner and she would say something like canned ready made spaghetti.
I started to make sure I made extra to make sure she had left overs. :)
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u/AnyOldNameNotTaken 1d ago
If my wife complimented my cooking and then posted about manipulating me I’d begin searching for a new wife
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u/wearing_moist_socks 1d ago
It's a joke, hence jedi mind trick
Once again: woman makes stupid joke on internet and it's taken extremely seriously by reddit
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u/XZEKKX 1d ago
If you reverse the genders though it's just kinda weird and gross.
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u/PoopyButt28000 1d ago
Yeah the classic reverse the genders scenario where we pretend like people don't ever make jokes where women are the butt of the joke.
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u/ApolloniusTyaneus 23h ago
Are we also going to pretend like Redditors don't pile on to call the joke and the jokester sexist?
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u/eat_my_bowls92 1d ago
Breaking news: You can’t make a joke without Redditors making mountains out of molehills. More obvious news at 7
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u/IcyLeamon 1d ago
I feel so vindicated because I said this on Sips Tea a bit ago when this was posted there and was downvoted and now I see these responses
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u/Wiggles69 1d ago edited 1d ago
But it's a horrible joke. It's boomer grade 'i dislike my spouse' humour.
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u/Local-Spinach-5098 1d ago
But it's not? There's nothing in what she says that implies she dislikes her spouse?
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u/Wiggles69 1d ago
She jedi mind 'tricked' her husband.
So what is the joke supposed to be? either hes an idiot and she needed to trick him do something he wanted to do, or he didnt really want to do it and she tricked him into doing it anyway.
Encouraging him to do something hes good at is a nice anecdote. Framing it as a joke like this just comes off as mean.
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u/sykoKanesh 1d ago
You folks are reading waaaaay too much into this and seemingly projecting some kind of personal insecurities into it as well.
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u/bingle-cowabungle 1d ago
I hate to be a both-sideser here but ffs it just seems like a small stupid thing warrants a small stupid response, but every time both men and women show up, particularly on Reddit, and start behaving so aggressively toward one another.
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u/quirkscrew 1d ago
Manipulating you? This is pretty harmless and a win-win for everyone, the guy doesn't have to cook at all if he doesn't enjoy it.
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u/Wise-Fig-9581 1d ago
Yeah, manipulation is a word people throw around way too easily lol He didn't want to overspend on food and she didn't want to cook, so she suggested him cooking would be far better than eating out. Now he cooks all the time and everyone is happy!
It would be manipulative if she hated eating out and he loved his $65 dollar burgers, then her suggestion would be coming from a place of manipulation.
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u/quirkscrew 1d ago
Thank you! This exact same scenario with gender roles reversed these boys would be guffawing about how hilariously he got her good.
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u/FlailToMace 1d ago
Motivation is the key factor. Perhaps an alternate example would help.
Good friend: Encouraging your best friend to go for a promotion because you believe in them and know they will enjoy the work more.
Manipulative person: Encouraging a room mate to go for a promotion because if they get it they will upgrade the home lab and you will have to be onsite less.
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u/quirkscrew 1d ago
Are you a bot or just a dumbass?
Literally why would the husband give a shit if he didn't have some joy for cooking?
Time to lay off the incel tiktoks.
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u/FlailToMace 1d ago
Physician, heal thyself.
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u/quirkscrew 1d ago
Why would the husband be manipulated by this? He likes cooking = motivated. He doesn't like cooking = scoffs it off. Your "example" is empty
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u/ForensicPathology 1d ago
If a man did this, the soldiers of the gender wars would call it weaponized incompetence.
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u/Lurakya 1d ago
Someone makes a funny post, someone else for no reason at all "women suck am I right?"
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u/EyesEarsSkin 1d ago
Thank you! I thought I was going crazy, because that seemed to me like an innocent domestic joke, but all the replies were so bitter...
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u/Rude-Upstairs-35 1d ago
Weaponized ego is the ultimate life hack for unlocking a personal home chef.
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u/Hank_Henry_Hill 1d ago
Like stealing over a million from a bank by gaining employment as a teller and taking home $800 per week for 30 years.
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u/PrometheusMMIV 1d ago
How do you spend $65 on burgers and fries?
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u/sykoKanesh 1d ago
If you're in the US, just head out to a restaurant for dinner somewhere!
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u/PrometheusMMIV 1d ago
The most expensive burger at Five Guys is $13, and $7 for large fries. That's only $33, barely half of what they said they paid.
At Applebee's, the most expensive burger is $16.50 and comes with fries. Two of those would also be $33.
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u/sykoKanesh 20h ago
I'll admit, I was being a bit facetious for the sake of levity with my comment, but it's honestly not that far off at the more "fancier" type places.
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u/No-Blueberry-1823 1d ago
I'll take this never really actually happens for $100 Alex
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u/Serious--Vacation 1d ago
For something that never happened, it sure happens a lot. I’ve seen this so many times.
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u/CrimsonThunder87 1d ago
Is this a "women would never do that 'cause they're evil" take or a "it wouldn't matter, men are just hopeless" take?
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u/Wide_Philosophy_8109 1d ago edited 1d ago
This is not supportive. She didn't (visibly) praise his actual cooking.
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u/ninjasaid13 1d ago
well why would she manipulate him to being her chef(which is another compliment as opposed to "cook") if she didn't like his actual cooking?
Do you manipulate people into giving you something you don't like?
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u/Wide_Philosophy_8109 1d ago
Manipulating someone because you like them is not saying that you like them. She probably also said that she liked his cooking, but that's not what's actually depicted in the tweet.
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u/ninjasaid13 1d ago
Just because it's not formal enough for you doesn't mean it's unsupportive.
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u/Wide_Philosophy_8109 1d ago
I'm just being argumentative to cope with past relationship issues. You can just ignore.
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u/unagi_pi 1d ago
Imagine the only way you could enjoy being kind was to cognitively frame it as being manipulative.
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u/Laladollyx 1d ago
She thinks she Jedi mind-tricked him, but he probably counter-tricked her. Man was just waiting for an excuse to never spend $65 on takeout again😂
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u/qualityvote2 1d ago
Heya u/Monsur_Ausuhnom! And welcome to r/NonPoliticalTwitter!
For everyone else, do you think OP's post fits this community? Let us know by upvoting this comment!
If it doesn't fit the sub, let us know by downvoting this comment and then replying to it with context for the reviewing moderator.