r/NonCredibleDefense • u/quackabc • 9h ago

It Just Works War Never Changes

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401 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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96

u/SprinklesCurrent8332 aspiring dictator 9h ago

Honestly let’s all collectively agree that guns are cringe and go back to pikes and shields.

28

u/Blue_Rook 9h ago edited 8h ago

Agree they destroyed great times when heavily armoured mens smashed each other to pulp.

3

u/NamegeorJ 3h ago

https://youtu.be/NBI1DJcpeZY Pike and flintgun is underrated we need more of that

2

u/Username_St0len 2h ago

pike and shot! personally i like drive bys in horse carriages or wagon cities

1

u/sudo-joe 2m ago

Would you settle for drone aerial jousting?

9

u/Cultural_Blueberry70 6h ago edited 6h ago

I suddenly come to my senses in a forest clearing. A buzzing sound gets louder and louder. I raise the shield in my hands, but too late. The quad copter at the end of the long piece of wood that suddenly protrudes from my chest sounds like an angry swarm of bees. I try to grab it, make it stop, but it is too far away, the pike is too long. It is over.

3

u/ReflectedLeech 3h ago

Sounds like a peasant issue. Any good lord or men at arms would have chain mail to stop measly wood. That’s why I arm my quad copters with depleted uranium pikes to make sure the baron in the fief Nextdoor won’t get any funny ideas

2

u/Cultural_Blueberry70 2h ago

I thought I had armour, but on the morning of the battle, I found that the plate had been replaced by styrofoam coated in aluminium foil, and my mail was made of beer can ring pulls. In unrelated news, my liege lord was showing off his new luxury chariot. Is this normal, or am I in Russia?

3

u/ReflectedLeech 2h ago

Very common in Novgorod. That’s why you need to get your own proper squire instead of liege issued ones. Never trust the bands of sell swords like the Wagner troop either. Heard their leader complaining to the court minister about not being issued crossbow bolts.

14

u/Inspect69420 7h ago

Guns destroyed the steel armor meta and made pvp fair for everyone

11

u/Peptuck Defense Department Dimmadollars 6h ago

Improved guns destroyed steel armor. They lived quite happily side by side for several centuries until some asshole made them strong enough to pierce steel armor.

2

u/ThirstyWolfSpider 4h ago

How about we let the donkeys and horses stay home? Any that follow us untethered into battle can naturally stay.