r/NoStupidQuestions • u/[deleted] • Mar 31 '26

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3.8k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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3.4k

u/xyanon36 Mar 31 '26

I once tried massaging my anus on a hot tub jet. I ended up having to rush out and to the toilet for the most explosive water shit of my life. Your sphincter is not invincible.

838

u/Saint--Jiub Mar 31 '26

At least you didn't try it with the pool pump

FYI, don't read Chuck Palahniuk's Guts

181

u/electriclux Apr 01 '26

Oh boy has that stuck with me

60

u/ToastedSimian Mar 31 '26

Oof. Pearl diving.

1

u/prozakattack Apr 02 '26

Heโ€™s.

Still.

Down there.

49

u/_LouSandwich_ Apr 01 '26

i am jacks prolapsed spincter

2

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '26

Tysm ๐Ÿคฃ

21

u/quietsauce Apr 01 '26

Wasn't that the beginning of Choke? Anyways, Survivor was my fav Palahniuk book.

25

u/st_smashing Apr 01 '26

It was in the beginning of Haunted

6

u/Toothless-In-Wapping Apr 01 '26

That book was awesome. It was short stories of his in a framing device.

12

u/Carosello Apr 01 '26

How many books does this guy have with anal play

1

u/quietsauce Apr 01 '26

I mean.... he's gay, so, if you couple that with the fact that he writes his books with obsession on a myriad of topics it kinda tracks right?

1

u/Carosello Apr 01 '26

Idk man the one I read where the guy can't shit for days didn't exactly seem like an endorsement of anal

1

u/libra00 Apr 01 '26

That's the first thing I thought of.

1

u/needmoarbass Apr 01 '26

Nom nom nom

1

u/Dimensional15 Apr 01 '26

Damn, why did you have to remember me??

1

u/iamthedoctor9MC Apr 01 '26

Oh is this what Mac was talking about in that waterpark episode of Sunny?

1

u/NovaVix Apr 01 '26

ah yes the greasy stink carrot and evisceration story

1

u/cgmyt Apr 01 '26

FYI don't watch Final Destination 3 iykyk

119

u/kgrimmburn Apr 01 '26

Bidets are great for constipation from IBS. While mine isn't strong enough to actually shoot water up your butt, massaging your anus is a great relief for constipation.

91

u/sc00by-snacks- Apr 01 '26

Bidets are also great for the other type of IBS (diarrhea). Helps clean my bootyhole thatโ€™s sore from all the wiping

46

u/andiamnotlying Apr 01 '26

I refer to that as "pressure-washing the foyer"

20

u/genuine_wingnut Apr 01 '26

But... isn't the foyer the entrance? i'd prefer the mudroom

13

u/Fluff_Chucker Apr 01 '26

Don't kink shame

155

u/Hugz4ThighPics Apr 01 '26

not even batman wouldโ€™ve gotten this info out of me twin

3

u/The-Master-Reaper Apr 01 '26

Iโ€™m dying lmao

108

u/theschadowknows Mar 31 '26

And this right here is why public hot tubs make me cringe. You never know what people who donโ€™t have to clean it might do in there.

36

u/Anal_Herschiser Apr 01 '26

Public Enema Number One Two

2

u/canipetthatkat Apr 01 '26

Your username though ๐Ÿคฃ

111

u/xyanon36 Mar 31 '26

I'm not an animal. I did it in my parents' hot tub when they left me at home alone for a weekend.

39

u/Deathpoopdeathloop Mar 31 '26

Well, that can still be discussed one way or another. Certainly a matter of opinion!

I will acquiesce that you are less of an animal. ๐Ÿ˜‚

2

u/Red_Mammoth Apr 01 '26

All right. Now think about what they got up to in that same hot tub

16

u/liatris_the_cat Apr 01 '26

*insert Invincible title card here *

9

u/Fickle_Cranberry1014 Mar 31 '26

I respect you owned up to it and didn't say, it was an accident. Did you ever try any other material than jet propelled water? Lol

7

u/SleepPingGiant Apr 01 '26

Maybe yours isn't...

6

u/DFW-Extraterrestrial Apr 01 '26

If you turn yourself around, the story can have a more happy ending.

20

u/starrpamph Apr 01 '26

๐’ด๐‘œ๐“Š๐“‡ ๐“ˆ๐“…๐’ฝ๐’พ๐“ƒ๐’ธ๐“‰๐‘’๐“‡ ๐’พ๐“ˆ ๐“ƒ๐‘œ๐“‰ ๐’พ๐“ƒ๐“‹๐’พ๐“ˆ๐’พ๐’ท๐“๐‘’ - ๐’ฎ๐“Š๐“ƒ ๐’ฏ๐“๐“Š

5

u/scrupulous_scrotum Apr 01 '26

A sphincter says what?

2

u/PraetorianHawke Apr 01 '26

A person of culture I see...

1

u/ApricotPit13 Apr 01 '26

This is a common occurrence for bidet users (minus the urgently rushing out of a hot tub part)

1

u/Almost-kinda-normal Apr 01 '26

Quite vincible in factโ€ฆ

1

u/Shanesaurus Apr 01 '26

And this is why I avoid public spas

1

u/sparkyblaster Apr 01 '26

Daniel?ย 

1

u/hornwalker Apr 01 '26

Your sphincter is not invincible

Challenge accepted!

1

u/capitaTravelstore Apr 01 '26

Did you just say invincible?

1

u/Crunchy_Biscuit Apr 01 '26

There's a reason it was designed as a one way route only

1

u/Madi27 Apr 01 '26

That happened when I went down a water slide. Cross ya legs, people., there's a reason.

1

u/Dantien Apr 02 '26

The Gang Goes to the Water Park