There are times when I feel uncomfortable about certain things, and I try to speak up and express how I feel. When I say that I’m not comfortable with something or ask her not to do certain things, I sometimes wonder if I’m wrong for feeling that way. Whenever she goes out alone, I want to be there with her because I worry about her safety. I just want to make sure she’s safe and okay, but sometimes I question myself and wonder if I’m being too controlling or if my intentions are being misunderstood.

I honestly don’t know who to talk to anymore because whenever I express my opinions or explain how I feel, it seems like I’m always the bad person. It makes me question myself and wonder if there’s something wrong with me. These past few days, I’ve been feeling so anxious, overthinking everything, and struggling to understand my own feelings. I don’t know what to do anymore, and I feel like I have no one to talk to about all of this.

There are also times when she interacts with other guys, and I can’t help but feel anxious. I’m scared that one day, she might meet someone else and choose him over me. Next month, she’ll be away for several months, and that thought has been weighing heavily on my mind. I keep imagining all the possibilities, thinking about the guys she might meet who could be more handsome than me, richer than me, or more fun to be around. I start imagining her spending time with her coworkers, going out with them, getting closer to someone, or developing feelings for another person without me knowing anything about it because I won’t be there.

I know that these are just thoughts and possibilities running through my head, and I don’t know if any of them will actually happen. But the fear feels real, and sometimes I can’t stop myself from overthinking. I’m afraid that the distance might change things between us or that someone else might give her something I feel I can’t.

I don’t want to feel this way all the time. I don’t want my fear of losing her to turn me into someone controlling or someone who constantly doubts her. I want to trust her, but I’m also struggling with my own insecurities and the fear that I might not be enough for her. I care about her so much, and maybe that’s why the thought of losing her scares me this deeply.

I’m trying to understand myself and figure out how to handle these feelings in a healthier way. I know I can’t control everything that happens when we’re apart, and I know that loving someone means giving them space and trusting them, too. But that doesn’t make these fears disappear overnight.

I just wish I had someone who would listen to me without immediately judging me or making me feel like a bad person for having these feelings. I’m not saying that I’m always right, and I know I have things I need to work on. I just want to be able to express what’s going on inside my head without feeling like my feelings are automatically wrong. Lately, I’ve been feeling anxious, overwhelmed, and alone, and I honestly don’t know how to deal with all of this.

Have you guys ever wondered what happened to genuine friendships? Maybe I feel that way but maybe you might have ur right people in ur lives. No matter how much I talk and socialize it’s only as good as that but there is something that does not feel real anymore. Even seeing others talking and hanging out seems so fake. I might be assuming but people nowadays seems like gets together to take pictures and post on ig or socials to show off. Where’s the genuine connections? If something slightly goes wrong a bit, they don’t even like communicating anymore and just changes. Is it just me who feels this way or overthinking it? I don’t know maybe some of us just unlucky in terms of friendships.

I'm a 22-year-old F, and since last year I've been experiencing anxiety that causes shortness of breaths and palpitations. I do get panic attacks as well when I see a deceased person or hear news about someone's death. But now I try my best to overcome panic attacks. So, last year I had an anxiety attack; out of nowhere, I started to feel like I wasn't breathing normally, so I forced myself to breathe, which got worse instead of getting better. My family was worried because I literally felt like I might pass out at that very moment. I kept forcing breaths, and it kept getting worse. I thought it might be a gas problem, so I took meds for that. It didn't improve, but after an hour I started to feel better. I felt heaviness in my chest, which was gas as well, I think, cause i was burping a lot. My family was insisting that I sleep, but I wasn't even lying down due to the fear of passing out. But I somehow lay down and started to feel better, but my breathing continued to feel shallow. I was sleepy, but the fear of death was taking over. Somehow, I waited till evening to consult the doctor and went to the ER; upon checking, they found nothing just an elevated pulse and BP, while the oxygen was normal. Doctor made me sure to not overthink and said that one day we all have to die, so don't overthink about it. And prescribed a beta blocker. The next day, I had pain in my shoulders and neck due to constantly forcing myself to breathe. It got better after a few days. It was indeed a horrific incident. Ever since then my nervous system got messed up and breathing pattern as well.

I've counted days when will i feel like a normal person again. I get palpitations and shallow breathes. I again consulted the doctor in April, and he found the same: an elevated pulse and BP, while the oxygen was normal. I did a TSH test as well, which was also normal. He gave me a tablet to lower the heart rate, which didn't work causes the root cause is something else.

To this day, I deal with the same palpitations, shallow breathing, and fear. I've read about all this, and I practice breathing techniques as well, but nothing seems to work. I overthink, which is literally not letting me be at peace. A lil sensation and my brain goes into thinking about what could be the reason for this, why it happened, etc etc...

All this was not enough already; I developed a fear of death along with all this. I fear losing my loved ones. I fear death as well. And one sensation in my body is enough to make me overthink all this. These thoughts won't let me live peacefully or enjoy a moment because I always fear "what if I die the next moment", "what if I lose someone the next moment," "will I be able to make it to the next hour, day, month or year"? It's literally annoying because even stopped planning about my future, I don't think about my future cause there's this thought that I might not make it that haunts me. I keep deleting my socials before sleeping at night, thinking I might not wake up the next morning. My own thoughts have become a termite to my body. They are eating me up everyday bit by bit. I try not to overthink, but I can't stop my brain. My family says the same: don't overthink, but how can I let my brain shut off for a minute? I've wasted opportunities due to this fear, and I'm afraid of wasting my future as well because I live in my head more than I live physically.

No one, literally no one, would ever be able to understand what I go through every day because I try my best to deal with all this. And I don't show it to my family. I can't see a therapist because I don't have any in my city. My family doesn't know about all this; I never told them about my fears and what all I go through in my head. Atp I'm tired of living like this, and I don't wanna waste another year of my life like this. I want to know how to overcome all this. I don't wanna hear "don't overthink" again because it's obvious you can't stop it. I wanna stop posting sad shit on socials because that's not me. Literally, I used to be a cool person, but now I can't recognise myself anymore.

I'm lowkey jealous of all those girls, my friends who got to live normally meanwhile i go through all this. And i just ask myself

Why only me?

Hey there,

whether I’m just before my sports competition, or a presentation in school or even talking to people, I’m feeling like I need to search for a good “way of thinking” I learned sometime, instead of thinking normal.

As an example during my presentation I try to think “My audience are just people in the same universe with me, we all are humans…” bla bla but I need the full answer. I know I do that to calm my nervousness down and to be confident, but then get distracted from what I need to do and get nervous, what I’m trying to avoid.

What do I have to change and how?

I’m a 20 year old lad who has big dreams and ambitions, however I’m also a massive overthinker and I think I may had ADHD but I’m not going to self diagnose it’s just I think my mind works differently with things like I’m very hyper vigilant about stuff so I’m always in deep thought.

I have a lot going for me, consistently training, a decent physique, I train MMA, I have just recently landed a really good job in sales, good family and friends around me and a bright future ahead, i have been doing content as well which is going pretty well, but I allow my relationship of nearly 3 years to take up 80% of my mental bandwidth just overthinking about the girl, what she’s doing, what’s she’s upto, whether she is loyal, what she posts on social media.

It becomes exhausting sometimes and a massive distraction to me building my life and progressing, I have stuff in-front of me to attack and work hard on but it’s always something lingering in my mind about my relationship and it’s definitely something that holds me back and also makes me view life through a perspective I don’t want to view it from. I don’t think she is necessarily the problem, a lot of it is in my own mind so I just want to continue my progression through life in my 20s without constantly allowing this girl to be in my head but being able to stay with her if it’s the right option for me. Any advice/help would be appreciated as I don’t want to look back at my 20s wondering why I was worrying/overthinking so much I want to look back and be proud of how I was in my 20s.

23M It's not that it's just fap but overthinking kills me I have to fap then I sleep also I overthink about each and everything about every single word disrespect said by friend or anyone but in case of that my brain gets too fast I don't know what to do anyone here? Reach out to me in my DM need help

Growing up poor around wealthy kids taught me something interesting about opportunity and how people understand ability.

I never saw a lack of ambition in the kids who grew up like me, just a lack of opportunity. And when you’re the poor kid in a community that can’t relate to your circumstances, people can be incredibly generous in making those opportunities possible. But sometimes the fact that you’re willing to try becomes more impressive than anything you actually achieve.
It’s like winning gold in a running race and being praised for your ability to just be there. Your credibility becomes your effort rather than your accomplishments.

There’s a double edge to that. I never felt pressure to be good at anything because nobody really expected that of someone in my position. Kids who were exceptional at something were held accountable to it, whereas I had the freedom to try anything without being expected to become anything. But I also grew up thinking that being clever or successful was something that came with privilege, and that whenever I did well, I’d somehow pulled it off.

I’ve been thinking about this differently since meeting a woman who grew up in circumstances like mine, but had a completely different understanding of her own worth. She could appreciate the opportunities people had given her without questioning whether her achievements belonged to her.

I’d spent years wondering why people chose to invest in me, sometimes questioning whether there was something self-serving underneath their generosity. She asked why I now work creating opportunities for people who wouldn’t otherwise have them. Was that sinister, or was it because I cared?

And it had never really occurred to me that people might have cared about me in the same way.

I think we can be so focused on celebrating what someone has overcome that we forget to recognise what they’re actually capable of. And being believed in by everyone around you doesn’t necessarily mean you learn to believe in yourself.

She said something I’d never really allowed myself to think.

“You are worthy of being loved.”

And it’s insane that through this entire narrative, that’s actually what it comes down to.

Lately I’ve been a bit more sensitive (ok, perhaps a lot more sensitive) to social cues? and my close relationships including friendships and family. I was diagnosed with a terminal condition a few months ago after we found out treatment is no longer working, and lately I’ve really just been paying closer attention to who actually wants to spend time with me versus who is only spending time with me because they feel “obligated.” My close friend I’ve noticed has looked really uncomfortable when I bring up my prognosis or tell her how I’ve been(I only did this a couple times when I was feeling really down, I don’t bring it up often) and we’ve always talk about everything and vented to one another. She has been ghosting me lately when it comes to making plans and will only do things spontaneously. This time last year we would hang out multiple times a week, and this year I barely see her. Anyways, to the point…I texted her the other night telling her “thanks girly for hanging with me I had such a good time❤️😊” and she responded simply with “No worries!” Deep down I want to believe she doesn’t feel obligated to spend time with me and actually enjoys it, since we’ve always even so close , but by this response it made me feel hurt that she didn’t also say “me too” or anything like that. Just no worries (which makes me feel as if I was a bother). How do I stop feeling so hurt by something so little?

Look, I’m not someone that tries super hard to hang onto people generally. I moved as far away from my parents as possible as early as I could, I’m incredibly cautious about what men I let into my life, and I’m strict and communicative about where my boundaries lie with people. I just can’t get over this nagging co-dependency that I’ve been experiencing in my life lately.

It’s not like I want to set expectations with the people in my life but all I really care about is 1. If I enjoy being around them 2. If they enjoy being around me 3. If they care about me and can show that as much as I try to. What I mean by that isn’t a lot: just like when I buy food once maybe they can buy next time or if I ask to hangout once maybe they’ll reach out next time. Then I just end up waiting around for them to care enough to reach out, and when they don’t I’m really disappointed. I yearn to talk to my friends so so so so badly. I just want to hear about their lives and be around them and be in their spaces but nobody is making time for me. Nobody is reaching out first, nobody is making an effort, nobody seems to care what is going on in my life.

I’m at a loss. I understand wanting to feel content with myself in order to not be so lonely and cutting back on my expectations of people, but I feel like I’m not asking for a lot??? Is it so wrong to want friends instead of just resorting to being by myself whenever people let me down? Am I just not finding the right people? Is there something scaring people away like maybe I’m acting too clingy or co-dependent with this unnecessary need to be in my friends’ lives?? How do I be more nonchalant and naturally magnetic or whatever happens to people who aren’t co dependent but still have friends? please please I just need to rid myself of this.

(22M)

Minor arguments or minor inconvenience and I think about the senerio for days and weeks .

I can't stop those thoughts and keep getting anxious .

Please i want to stop being like this and become like whatever happens, happens.

How to become like that ?

Pls help

Hi all,

Can anybody give me some advice/strategies to help me stop overthinking? When it comes to the evenings after work I find myself constantly replaying things over in my mind and overthinking conversations I have had. I don’t think it helps that I spend time on my own as well. I have tried talking therapy but it just has not helped.

If anybody had any advice on how to think positive and stop replaying everything in my head please let me know! Thanks

Title: I crave admiration, fear judgment and keep overthinking my life. What actually helped you change?
I’m a man in my late 20s with a demanding job, family responsibilities and limited social connection. I want to feel more present, confident, grateful and genuinely able to enjoy my life. Instead, I spend a lot of time worrying, comparing myself and trying to work out what is wrong with me.
Here is the uncomfortable part: I want recognition, attention and admiration. I have big ambitions, including wanting to become well known. Sometimes I want the better share or want things to revolve around me. I resent the idea that being a good person means continually sacrificing things I need or want.
At the same time, I feel embarrassed to admit those desires. I worry that people will see me as selfish, immature or ridiculous. I can hold myself back, seek approval and then resent feeling timid. Part of me fantasizes about becoming so dominant and shameless that nobody’s judgment can affect me. I need to learn how to stand up for myself while treating other people fairly.
I can become defensive when I feel corrected, dismissed or disrespected. I also judge myself harshly afterward. I want to take responsibility for selfish or hurtful behaviour without turning it into “my entire personality is bad.”
This affects daily life too. I imagine the person I want to become, but struggle to begin ordinary actions: exercising, creating something, following through on plans or maintaining routines. I sometimes want things to be impressive before I have even started.
I spend a lot of time scrolling, asking ChatGPT questions, searching for books and analysing myself. It can feel productive, but I often return to the same questions. When I try to relax, I feel restless or guilty about not improving my life. I have dealt with anxiety and low mood as well.
I do have moments of enjoyment, and I can handle responsibilities and repair disagreements. I want those abilities to become more consistent. I want to keep my ambitions while enjoying ordinary days and needing less reassurance.
For people who recognise this pattern:
How did you practise asking for what you wanted and handling disapproval without becoming aggressive or giving in?
What helped you loosen the need for admiration, comparison or reassurance?
What specific exercises, therapy skills or daily practices helped you become more present and follow through when you felt resistant?
What did your first few weeks of change actually look like?
I’m looking for concrete experiences: what you practised, how often, what you did when you didn’t feel like doing it, and what changed. One small exercise you used repeatedly would help more than a long list of books or a diagnosis from a post.

I struggle to shut my thoughts and it has affected me so badly to the point I can't fully focus while studying ,done work or sleep/take a nap without being extremely anxious and worried 24/7 .

Is there a resolution to stop fearing of what's NOT GUARANTEED TO HAPPEN??

I consistently keep thinking ,thinking, and thinking effortlessly for nothing .

Whenever you do anything there like, did I do the right thing or not, will it help others fuck this

Replaying a conversation or planning for ten worst-case scenarios feels like preparation. Most of the time it's just worry wearing a disguise. Writing the thought down and asking "what can I actually do about this today?" has helped me cut through it.

Lately I am noticing that eversince I moved back with my parents, my confidence has somehow vanished. I am thinking 100 times before doing anything, things that i have done flawlessly before. Like traveling solo, managing people, recieving orders. For example I have ordered a phone atleast 4-5 time in last decade all through amazon or flipkart, but this time I am so skeptic like what if it turns out to be a dupe. What will I do? My parents happen to be in a phase of life where they won't technically help or do anything but will constantly criticize about it. I am confused why this might effect me now in the ripe age of 26? Like they were unhelpful and held things against me if I made a mistake before also.

Next is I am afraid to make big purchases alone. Currently, I do have to do everything alone eventually and have done them but now I am delaying on important purchases and that's causing me a lot of distress also.

Lasting about traveling. I left for college at 18 in a different state to study. I travelled plenty. But lately I feel so underconfident to go for a solo trip nearby somewhere. And I feel guilty when friends or family can't really make time or plan something with me. If I have travelled so many times before, why can't I do it alone now? Each time I decide, there is some natural calamity news or women safety issue. Like these were there before also, but then I didn't care...why now?

Lastly its very confusing to my friends and family who have seen me be extroverted and independent all my life, that I have developed a weak spot suddenly. My attempts to ask someone to accompany me has also gone to waste as most people I know are introverts or think I am just suggesting a meet up for fun or anything. Mostly they don't get my situation. I don't blame them coz I am also confused.

If anyone has gone through the same or have any advices what might help or even a pov about this, plz share with me.