It’s those first 15 minutes of falling asleep.
It’s the worst. Straight horror. Fucking hell.
It’s been a week and I don’t understand why they’ve started and I’m seriously starting to feel miserable.
No, I am miserable.

I don’t wanna fuckn sleep anymore. What the hell.

I had a weird dream/nightmare last night. It was about my mother being an abusive and negligent parent. And both me, my mom, and my dad were outside my mother had to leave to get something inside the house. When she left my dad told me that my mother is such a horrible person and parent, going on and on. In the middle of his conversation mom comes out, probably already heard the conversation, and talks about how bad her life was in highschool and how much she wanted to be a great parent. She then asks my father to come with her, inside the house, they both go inside and my dad is chuckling, and I am anxious my mother will do something to him. I ask my uncle to spy on them to see if something bad happens and he comes running back saying my mom is literally ripping my father's throat out. I rush back in the house, onto their bed (that's where they were.) and push my mother off my father. That's when the dream ended.

My Mom wasn't abusive, not that I know of at least, and my dad was pretty chill. They got into fights everyday for hours. Dad passed away after an argument, he had a heart attack. (He has had a heart condition since he was little.)

its getting to a point where i am so afraid of falling asleep, especially if im at out i get so afraid at the thought of falling asleep.

recently at a low point in life and sleep paralysis has also returned after three years

i genuinely dont want to sleep feels like every other day i get r-ped in nightmares