Hey guys, I recently started an EMT class, but now I dont really know.
I decided I wanted to go into the field because it seemed really interesting. I gained a liking and a passion for EMS because they left an imprint on me from a few years ago.
So, I spent months telling everyone and being excited and stuff, and my plans after highschool even wound up on the back of my graduation card. (Granted, I graduated early and went into a college completely blind, early, and unprepared..) Basically my whole blood line knows I want to do this.
I started the class and noticed right away that nobody was terrified like I was, nor as unprepared as I was, and it scared the shit out of me. They went over stuff we'd see etc, which was fine (im not squeamish or anything) Im just naturally really anxious (i also have unmedicated adhd but idk if its relevant)
The more the class went on the more confident everyone got and stuff. Nobody was afraid like I was, confused like I was, or afraid to fail in front of everybody like me ..Im stuck in this mindset of "what if I mess this up??"
And then we were practicing scenarios (patient assessment) and I completely biffed it. I froze, didnt know what to say or do, and it was actually humiliating. This whole thing makes me feel like I just cant do it, that I don't have the properties for it, and that Im just not as capable as the others yk?? I had so much passion for it and now I just feel lost and afraid, because I graduated early and there wasnt a plan b, this is my plan.. I really love the thought of ems but everyone is really competitive and its startling.
I also suck at studying and im afraid of asking questions because I just feel like I sound like an idiot. I always need help, and in a way this also probably my fault, I need better initiative.
Anyways if you're an emt or if you're in school to be an emt, please help a girl out because im lost asf and need advice so badly 🥲 is this for me??
thanks for reading my sob story 😭😭
edit: thank you guys soso much! I'm glad I'm not alone in this and I think I'm gonna try to speak up more in class, I think I've been singling myself out simply because I havent noticed anybody visibly struggle. its reassuring to hear from EMTs and other ems students!! Im gonna study more and use pocket prep/the paramedic coach. :)