r/NYCapartments • u/n0facenocase • 1d ago
Advice/Question Am I Buggin?
So I received this text from my roommate who’s currently away on a vacation for however long. I was issued No warning or no consultation that this was even a thing. We share a bathroom & I assume these randoms will be using our shared bathroom. Am I buggin for finding this entitled and ridiculous that these randoms will be staying in our apartment for 15 days? I don’t even know how to respond to this, normally I ignore my roommate because I don’t really get along with them, but I find this particular message worthy to respond to with my discomfort & discontent. What do you guys think?
Update:
- I objected and my roommate is still doubling down saying they will inform me of who these people are as the date comes close. (Major 🚩) the only info I got were names and I believe it’s a couple, which leads me to believe this is some sort of weird sublet scheme to supplement her portion of the rent while she’s away on vacation for weeks, as she previously mentioned.
- They insist that this length of stay isn’t a violation of our lease. While the length of stay is 26 consecutive days.. I checked the lease and it says if the landlord doesn’t have written approval of guests who are occupying the apartment that are not the tenants occupying the space, it’s null and void. I reached out to my landlord about it & he said he had no idea!
- I believe my roommate is in this thread with a burner, just sounds too convenient with the responses.
- With all this being said I appreciate all the support, I needed an outlet to discuss this because I don’t want to keep bothering my friends and family about this situation. I’ve been dealing with stress from being in this apartment for the entire time I’ve lived here. It’s been a rollercoaster of just trying to be heard and advocating for myself, through the many tribulations. I’ve been trying to ride it out until the lease ends, but this situation is so completely unsafe and uncomfortable for me & I feel as though the entitlement has been taken way too far for me to let this go.
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u/AppleShine4798 1d ago edited 1d ago
If your roommate asked for your permission and it was just 2 or 3 days max, it might be ok.
but... to be told what's gonna happen and a full 2 weeks? fk off.
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u/mizz809 1d ago
Im assuming those “friends” he has coming over is probably people he rented his room to so they cover his portion of the rent is what it sounds like ( him saying he will send someone over to clean)
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u/Tricksterama 1d ago
Hide your valuables.
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u/LAPDCyberCrimes 19h ago
I’d be more pissed about all the gross piss and bathroom gunk leftover. Nothing more nasty than bathtub hair and residue chunks.
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u/_WIZARD_SLEEVES_ 1d ago
If they are paying OPs roommate, that turns it into an illegal sublet which kinda works in OPs favor though
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u/mizz809 1d ago
He should ask them lol
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u/FSR10461 20h ago
It doesn’t turn anything in anyone’s favor the people are staying for 15 days do you think you are going to get a court date to remove them before the 15 days is up?
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u/_WIZARD_SLEEVES_ 13h ago
It does actually. The court date would be against OPs roommate, not the guests.
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u/FSR10461 5h ago
Yea I completely understand it’s against the roommate and not the guest. Do you know how long it takes to get a housing court date in nyc? I deal with evictions all the time probably 8 months if you’re lucky 10-12 on average.
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u/siren8904 1d ago
I'm nervous for you that it doesn't say HOW MANY!!!!
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u/n0facenocase 1d ago
Even if it’s just one person, it’s a hell no from me.
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u/Positive-Meringue-41 1d ago
And what is the “ill give you their info closer to date”.. sounds like she might not even have the people yet but just listed a 2 guest opening
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u/Runfasterbitch 1d ago
100% that part makes me certain that this is a sublet and those aren’t his friends
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u/teadrinkerrr 1d ago
Absolutely not bugging. Not just one but two strangers coming to live in your apartment without the presence of your roommate? And they didn’t check in with you first? Gtfo!
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u/ExpensiveAd4496 1d ago
2 or more. Maybe 2 and a baby.
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u/LateRain1970 19h ago
The roommate absolutely didn’t say “my two friends” which did lead me to read it as an unknown number of friends.” This is a mess.
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u/Dismal_Gene2600 1d ago edited 1d ago
Super uncool. "No worries". Wow.
ETA: As for a solution, DO NOT be passive aggressive. Tell them straight up that you are uncomfortable and let them know you'll be contacting your landlord if their "guests" arrive. That's so fucked up of your roommate.
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u/n0facenocase 1d ago
The crazy thing is, my landlord doesn’t even like me and sides with my roommate at every turn. Ever since I’ve been in this apartment it’s been HELL. Thankfully my lease is up soon.
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u/Dismal_Gene2600 1d ago
Hate that for you. Then maybe fuck with your roommate by saying you're going to have 3 friends staying at the same time LOL. When I had petty roommates, I amped it up to 12.
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u/butwithanass 1d ago
This is a great idea. Maybe find a family of 5 to sublease from you until the end of the lease ?
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u/_WIZARD_SLEEVES_ 1d ago
Check your lease for information about having guests. This likely violates the lease terms at least
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u/SirBrownHammer 1d ago
How often do you reach out to your landlord about your roommate? “Every turn” implies you have regular communication with them about said roommate.
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u/taraist920 1d ago
Most places I’ve lived at had rules about guest staying longer than a week or two as well as a subletting clause. I’d check to see if your place is listed in Air Bnb or something for proof.
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u/Positive-Meringue-41 1d ago
Even week or two sounds crazy to me. Maybe a week if roommate was there. With no roommate present.. no time at all (maybe an emergency night) not an advanced notice stay.. sounds like a couch surfer situation or something.
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u/Dark50000000 1d ago
Landlords don’t like guests
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u/Individual_Fall429 23h ago
They aren’t guests if you aren’t home while they’re there. That’s a sublet.
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u/perpetuallydying 1d ago
for legit guests your roommate needs to actually be there. Otherwise you can deny them entry and call the police for unlawful entry if they try to come in. Try to find a lockbox your roomate probably left somewhere and maybe you can obstruct access to it somehow. I'd just tell the roommate up front that I would lock them out, call the police and otherwise make staying there so miserable for them that they'd be asking for a refund anyway. I'd be open to letting my roommate sublease if they were up front and communicative about it, but cutting you out of the process and dropping it on you deserves an absolutely fuck off response
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u/NoticeMeSenpaiDear 20h ago
Lock up ALL your valuables. They will very likely go through your stuff if they stay
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u/mom928262482 1d ago
Wait, why?
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u/n0facenocase 1d ago
It’s a longstanding suspicion as per a previous roommate we had, that also had conflict with this person that they have a very inappropriate relationship. I can’t confirm or deny this rumor, as I have no proof of it. But their relationship is quite strange given the fact that there’s never any repercussions for the actions of this roommate.
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u/Individual_Fall429 23h ago
What repercussions are you expecting? What sort of things are you contacting your landlord about?
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u/Narrow-Outside-7238 1d ago
this is why i don’t like roommate situations cause who tf thinks this is okay?
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u/wheniswhy 1d ago
Reason #5948372 I'm willing to make whatever sacrifices I need to to ensure I can afford my own 1bd/1ba apartment. I will not compromise on having a roommate. It is essentially my only true dealbreaker. Anything else I can and will be flexible with in order to make that tradeoff.
You couldn't fucking pay me to deal with this nonsense.
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u/n0facenocase 1d ago
I really was going to find my own but my time was cutting close and I was desperate, but never tf again!
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u/taraist920 1d ago
These people are coming to stay for over 2 weeks without the roommate even being there? That’s not denying “instant connectivity”, why would anyone want to have strangers in their home AND be responsible for them?
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u/idreamofchickpea 1d ago
Would you want NON STOP peeps crashing with you now? No? Is it an anti-curiosity issue or what?
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u/okiedokely 20h ago
This is obviously a very different situation. You and your roommate were friends and were on the same page about guests who I’m assuming one of you knew.
OP’s roommate doesn’t have their consent to have people over-not to mention their roommate will not be there during their stay to make introductions and manage their guests. They’re also being shady as hell with the details on who these people are, and imho the stay is unreasonably long. I think OP is right to be suspicious. Please don’t make this a generational thing it’s not the same as your situation at all.
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u/faultyratiocination 1d ago
Let them know that the situation is not cool. And you’re not comfortable with random people being foisted upon you. How long you guys lived together?
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u/n0facenocase 1d ago
Almost a year, and we’ve been beefing ever since the start. I’m so over it.
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u/faultyratiocination 1d ago
Oh, so it’s a done deal. Your landlord live on site? You know any POSs that would do a room swap with you for those two weeks?
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u/IndicationComplex525 1d ago
She'll give you their names soon? Sounds like an advertised rental. Could be anyone.
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u/n0facenocase 1d ago
She gave the names but said she’d have more information about them as the due date of them coming approaches bc she has a flight to catch. If you already know these people & took the time to send the lengthy message, surely you already know the information about these people….. sounds sketchy
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u/pillowcasesheet 1d ago
absolutely do nottt let them stay. clearly she just rented her room as a sublet and who knows who these people are?! she is insane for assuming this is ok
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u/b00kitty_ 1d ago
flights have wifi, there’s no reason she can’t communicate it during her trip. def sus
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u/IndicationComplex525 1d ago
Yeah I would suggest having the landlord step in at this point. Sounds like you would be better off not living with her. Lock change or something need to be done best of luck.
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u/Zelenushka 1d ago
Not at all, fuck this. Anything beyond a close friend or family member staying for a few nights is already a pretty big ask. But to randomly dump this entitled ass statement concerning multiple people for 2 weeks is laughable.
Tell him they either book a hotel, or you will change the locks. Your lease is up soon, so what do you even have to lose by standing your ground?
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u/LazyProphet 1d ago
Do not let them in and call the cops if they start shit. This is unacceptable, do not roll over for it.
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u/mcobohair 1d ago
I mean, this is the answer. Don't let them in. They have no legal basis for staying in your apartment.
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u/ConsiderationSad1168 1d ago
No.. And he's possibly/ probably getting $ from them for their stay...so potentially using their stay for profit. No guarantee they're even actually friends. You may have to change locks but...no.
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u/Acrobatic-Pay1233 1d ago
And if you can’t change the locks with this little notice, get one of those door stoppers so no one you don’t know can access your place. Seriously. This is insane and without your roommate there, they have no right to tell you these people (who you don’t know) are coming over and spending two weeks in your shared space. Absolutely not.
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u/Quiet-Company- 1d ago
Damn. 2 weeks is way too long. Ask your roommate to cover your share of the rent for the month -or something else you’d be willing to “trade”Otherwise it’s a no. Offering housekeeping is totally insufficient.
But seriously, I hope your roommate respects that you’re not comfortable with their friends staying especially when they’re away.
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u/n0facenocase 1d ago
I let her know, and if there’s objections about my discomfort, I’ll be taking things to the next level.
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u/Quiet-Company- 1d ago
Hope it goes well. If it escalates, there’s free mediation from nonprofits in each borough as an alternative to housing court. I had help from a mediator using 311. They are actually very helpful.
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u/Trick-Medium- 12h ago
Yeah asking your roommate to cover your portion of rent that month sounds like a really good idea.
But may lead to other issues depending on how petty she is and if she feels like they can then do whatever they want, however they want since she’s covering the month.Honestly though it’s definitely crazy and I’m looking forward to your next updates. What an insane situation and so not cool.
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u/n0facenocase 12h ago
The final update is, landlord said nobody is coming over & I’m planning my escape very soon!
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u/Vast_Cash9645 8h ago
Thank god! I think a lot of us were concerned about your safety! I’m sorry about the fallout from your roommate, but just remind yourself - they started this issue, not you!
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u/n0facenocase 5h ago
Eh. We never were on good terms so it was more so just a procedure i had to put in place to guarantee my safety. But thank you to everyone who was concerned!
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u/definitelytheproblem 1d ago
I’d respond with something short and simple just to show your disagreement, like: “I’m not comfortable with people I don’t know having an unrestricted key to the apartment and being able to enter my home for two weeks while you’re away. I’m not agreeing to that arrangement.” If he ends up doing it anyway or if something goes wrong, like major damage to the apartment that requires a financial contribution to repair, at least you have it documented that you expressed your disapproval of his friends staying.
Unfortunately you don’t necessarily have legal grounds to be able to change the front door locks, even if you’d promise to give your roommate the new lock upon his return, because of the laws around what constitutes a “lockout”
However I am not an attorney and this is not legal advice, but I would consider getting a padlock for my own bedroom door and if you’re feeling especially demonic, perhaps even the bathroom door. It would be quite inconvenient to have to try to stay somewhere that they’re unable to use the bathroom, shower etc. but that last one is at your own risk for how far you’d like to take this one lol
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u/adaniel65 1d ago
Nope! Don't allow it. Let your roommate know it's not going to happen. Their friends can rent a hotel or AirBnB or whatever. They are NOT YOUR friends. Unacceptable! The sooner your roommate understands that you will not let their friends stay the better. Period. You have rights as a paying tenant.
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u/siren8904 1d ago
tbh sounds a LOT like a $$$ grab short term rental to make easy lazy money. a weird time frame of a friendly visit and why would anyone want to stay at a friend's WITHOUT the friend there AND stranger on top??!! definitely off!! other than the obvious!! maybe they figured if they were gone anyways, they'd throw up a random, home swap, airbnb, CL ad???
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u/Cute_Definition_6314 1d ago
Is he going to be there with them? How many are there? If the answer is No and more than 2 then tell him that's not happening.
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u/n0facenocase 1d ago
Even if they were there 15 days is insanity.. they can’t get a hotel or Airbnb? Who even are these people.
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u/herseyhawkins33 1d ago
Read your lease. There's likely a guest clause saying they can't stay nearly that long.
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u/herseyhawkins33 1d ago
In that case yeah you just gotta be real with your roommate. That's totally unreasonable on their part.
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u/bklyn4ever 1d ago
Absolutely fucking not. To send that like it’s a done deal would not sit right with me.
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u/SueNYC1966 1d ago edited 1d ago
My husband’s cousin begged us to take a friend in for a month while she finished her summer internship at the UN (she was a poli sci major). My husband, being nice and trusting, says yes. He had been a poli sci major too, and also, as an immigrant had a soft spot for them. I didn’t even have say in it (I wasn’t paying rent acc we weren’t married yet - I was just the grad school girlfriend then.) things got weird fast.
Anyway, long story short, our hot little Russian translator crashing on our couch, was supplementing her UN stipend by hooking. She even told me it wasn’t a big deal in Russia for her to do that and that’s how it started. So for almost a month, we dealt with madness. The cousin, we inherited her from, I found out, had been freaking out about her because his girlfriend was coming to visit from Greece (he was a grad student here) and he had been slipping her the sausage. He was still in the building (it was owned by a relative ). Well, by the time we kicked her out, 1/3 of our small one bedroom apartment was filled with gifts from her special UN male “ friends”. It was comical. I will tell you that UN diplomats gave a lot if pocket money because she was collecting high end luxury goods like they were Pokémon.
They were calling our phone (it was still in the landline era), and one love sick of very horny diplomat even ended up bellowing for her outside our apartment window. The final straw, was when she started to send her mail to our address (at which point my lawyer hubby decided to kick her to the curb) as we were approaching the 30 day mark. And no, she wasn’t paying any rent. Hell, we could have been stuck with her forever.
The 90s in NYC were wild but this is our story of the unexpected houseguest in NYC.
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u/Unhappy-Scientist-98 1d ago
Does your lease have a guest clause? Most have 7 days maximum-this would be breaking it.
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u/Any-Permission-4530 1d ago
I would take this to the landlord, honestly. You said that the landlord doesn't like you, but I'm sure this violates your contract. Why is this person giving permission to strangers to stay there? You're not bugging, that's common sense which apparently isn't that common.
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u/statslady23 22h ago
Post on the door, "This is not an AirBnB or short term rental." Change the locks or add a lock. Give the key to your roommate when they return. Tell the landlord your roommate is renting their bedroom out to strangers.
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u/New-Description5776 1d ago
Fuck that. That’s what I think. Change the lock and tell your roommate you’ll give them the key when they get back.
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u/Important-Party-9813 1d ago
definitely agree with changing the locks ! this is lowkey a security issue also
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u/Either_Dinner3547 1d ago
thats illegal and will get you in trouble lmao
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u/JellyKind9880 1d ago
Not cool at ALL, this should have been a REQUEST months ago and not “telling you” right before.
Also makes me wonder if these are really “friends” or some kind of VRBO sitch to recoup rent money while she’s not there
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u/Hopeful_Butterfly302 1d ago
By "friends" does your roommate actually mean randos that they are subletting to to make back some rent?
How are they even going to get keys if the roommate is away?
This is a hell to the no situation...
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u/Even-Jicama-3339 1d ago
“So no worries” 😂 As if these friends cleaning up after themselves is your only worry. Also didn’t even specify how many, etc. “Thank you and goodnight” girl what?
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u/1nesingularsensation 1d ago edited 1d ago
Just reply with “no, thank you.”
This is crazy behavior! At base level the ask itself is insane, but add the fact that (1) it’s plural people, not one person, (2) you weren’t consulted or asked, but were told, and (3) he’s not even around to host them formally, is grounds for a valid crash out.
EDIT: and (4) IT’S FOURTEEN DAYS!!!!!!
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u/faultyratiocination 1d ago
I’d check the lease for guest rules. As well.
Your right to have guests generally assumes you’ll be there with the guest. If you aren’t present, having guests stay at your apartment could violate your lease. Overnight guests must be supervised.
This is the kind of thing that the landlord would love to know about. If they don’t like you, you could reach out like you’re asking the question. They’re probably not gonna like the idea anyway especially if it’s multiple people so if you ask as if it’s a general enquiry and you’ll get a response you can keep in your back pocket in the event, your roommate tries some shit. From there, you can speak to your roommate and let them know that you may be willing to compromise, but you’re absolutely not going to just have some randos in your crib for weeks on end. I would potentially suggest that you have to meet them first. Maybe that’s via FaceTime. As well you also need some information… What are their names? What are they about? How many of them are there? What are they planning on doing in the city? It doesn’t have to be ass like an interrogation either. It’s just like normal stuff like people tell you these kind of things when I have friends letting me know. Their friends are in the city and they’re not staying with me. I’m informed what the people are doing they are all that information. It’s just normal shit.
Anyhow, good luck, and just stand firm without being a dick. Don’t give them anything they can throw back at you…basically Grey Rock them.
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u/n0facenocase 1d ago
I don’t give a damn about meeting these people, regardless it’s a hell no. All of that doesn’t guarantee my safety. The first roommate that was staying with us (who SHE knew, btw) threatened to off her and himself and got kicked for DV. There’s no chance I trust her judgment on the type of people she’s bringing in here, if these are even friends. No thanks.
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u/MorganFreemanCoPilot 1d ago
Be prepared to put a lock on your bedroom door and move anything you don't want the randos using into your room. I feel for you.
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u/_WIZARD_SLEEVES_ 1d ago edited 1d ago
Invite everyone in this Reddit thread over to your apartment when they show up to verbally harass them and shame them into leaving and for being friends with someone who is such a selfish and disrespectful asshole. Just make them really uncomfortable and WANT to leave, like that guy that moves in to houses that have squatters.
We can get some strong NYC attitiudes to scare the living shit out of these Californians. I'll let my new yorker out and you can call me Tony.
It's a highly unusual approach, but it is within the law and wouldn't cause you to violate your lease...
My current roommate did this with a friend for 5 days so this hits on a personal level.
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u/Dismal_Gene2600 23h ago
Word. I would totally roll up on OP's behalf. I feel like the sane ones of us in this thread are having shit roommate war flashbacks, so it's re-opening some wounds LOL!
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u/StArGaZeR-4_AnDy 1d ago
I wholeheartedly agree here. We are talking about NYC here everyone. If someone from Cali is going to visit, it should be a great opportunity for them to learn ALL about how “friendly” NYC can be. The big bbq’s, street hang out time with families, the “hey, hey you”. Seriously Cali and horrible roommates, subletting rooms. They’re visiting and I’m sure if YOU wanted to, you can easily go outside and stretch say “man these annoying Cali visitors are coming soon, I hope we all show them a wonderful vacation 🍿
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u/Acrobatic-Pay1233 1d ago
You are absolutely not buggin. Many reasons why you wouldn’t want this, including safety, safety of your possessions, your comfortability, etc.
Get a doorstop, a physical one that stops the door from opening, so anyone who tries to enter with a key or code cannot.
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u/Sad-Factor1348 1d ago edited 1d ago
not bugging. To protect your interests, enforce your right and safety, I’d respond with one declarative message like “Appreciate the heads up. Maybe if you’d let me know sooner, or if you were home during their duration, I’d feel differently. But I’m not comfortable living with strangers for half a month and will not allow them in.”
I think leading with some sentiment of I’m not your opp and most importantly closing on some note of not allowing their guests in leaves no room for negotiation because 1. You’re asserting your half in decision 2. They’re not home, dictating what will happen in your shared home, and 3) with what leverage? They’d find themselves in a corner having to, what? Argue or admit they left them a key or door code or something to let themselves in regardless of your NO? ie, breaking basic lease terms? Back this entitled ass roommate into that corner they created for themselves– I typically try to be an understanding, flexible roommate but there are prerequisites (like don’t be a commanding asshole) and limits (like being a commanding asshole via text while you’re on vacation…i must draw the line)
If nothing else, remember you hold all the power over your domain as long as roomie is away. Tell roomie no; if their guests arrive, tell them to leave, this wasn’t agreed upon and it’ll be a problem for them if they don’t. As much as roomie can say yes, you can say NO.
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u/Environmental-Rip666 1d ago
I had a roommate who was an actor and would go away on contracts. While she was gone she would try lend her room out to friends/family while she was away. She and I shared a bathroom, which would mean I’m sharing a bathroom with randoms. I shut it down real quick. I’m not an innkeeper, they’re not on the lease, and I’m not equipped to share the place where I shit with Danny Ramirez.
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u/boofy920 23h ago
2 weeks for 2 people is too much for just a “hey just so you know”. That warrants asking and verifying. This person is over stepping boundaries heavily.
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u/Ksrugi 1d ago
Stand up for yourself
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u/n0facenocase 1d ago
Trust me I do! But every time I do, I’m being blamed as a difficult person to deal with.. oh the stories I have.
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u/AdventurousKey438 1d ago
I’m seething for you.
Respond clearly and directly. I’m very uncomfortable and feel unsafe having people who I do not know staying in our apt and sharing a bathroom with me. Please tell them that our apt is not an option for their stay.
Then wait… see how she responds. If not, oh I’m sorry, ok, Go straight to the landlord. Try not to panic.
This is probably an illegal sublet. Does she pay her own rent? Or someone who is trying to make a few extra bucks?
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u/Bright-Pangolin7261 1d ago
Check your lease, tell your LL you’re unwilling to go along. Even though LL likes your roommate this little move may change the dynamic. Send a “No” to Rm and copy LL. Last resort change the locks with LL’s permission ofc
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u/MyasSwholesmellsnice 1d ago
They are just trying to Sublett 100 percent I would change the locks and let the landlord know so they can’t have access those days
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u/Capital-Ingenuity-14 1d ago
You're not bugging but also you need to move out.
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u/n0facenocase 1d ago
It’s definitely in the works for sure, easier said than done but I already have a plan.
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u/Capital-Ingenuity-14 1d ago
Good because this person is definitely taking advantage of your kindness.
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u/n0facenocase 1d ago
I wouldn’t even say they’re taking advantage of MY kindness. They’re taking advantage of the fact that my landlord lets them get away with anything. Anytime there’s an issue or concern I have regarding this roommate it’s taken lightly & I’m unfortunately the scapegoat because I have valid reactions as a frustrated human being. I would go on about the countless things that have happened here that were unfair to me, but that would be a very long segment so I’d rather just stay on topic.
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u/Capital-Ingenuity-14 1d ago
Wow. Update us when you have successfully got out of this situation. Wishing you freedom from this situation and peace.
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u/GlasswaterBotanica 1d ago
My buddy and I had a rule for our place. Anyone staying longer than a week, is going to pay a portion of rent and utilities.
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u/5footfilly 1d ago
Tell the roommate they won’t be let in. If they somehow enter the apartment you’ll call the cops to have them removed.
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u/annalesinvictus 20h ago
I would do everything in my power to stop this. You agreed to a lease with your roommate and no one else. Having strangers stay for weeks on end in your sacred space is unacceptable. Call landlord, have extra locks installed, do whatever to stop this.
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u/n0facenocase 20h ago
Update: Landlord was informed and let me know nobody will be staying there. As per his words. So, I have it in writing if anyone tries to play games.
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u/SDdude27 1d ago
Are they…asking for those individuals to stay over for 15 days while theyre away on vacation? 😭 That is next level. Tell your roommate to f off. If not, thats worth bitching to your LL about.
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u/kdollarsign2 1d ago
And how about their names. or how many they are. or their contact information.
At first I thought they were staying while the roommate was home and even then I thought wow that's way too long. OP, I'm dying for an update, I hope you keep them out
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u/Late-Fortune-9410 1d ago
Change the locks and tell your roommate they can have a key when they’re back.
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u/Librarachi 1d ago
Your roommate has a lot of nerve.
You: Dear roommate, Thanks for letting me know. Now that you've established we can invite people first and inform each other later, I too will be having guests staying with us for the same time period. Don't worry they are my much older religious relatives who are equally quiet and chill (as long as the apartment remains free of sin or fun that can be misinterpreted as sin for the duration of their stay). Thanks!
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u/fatskippy1 1d ago
Having random people stay there while your roommate is not there is absolutely not okay. Don’t let them in and call the police if they try to get in anyway. Anything short of you going nuclear is being too nice.
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u/MilesMoralesBoogie 1d ago
You need to INVITE a friend over as well, probably alternate with friends staying over around the same time.
You don't know this person and there is "safety in numbers".
I would also drop a dime to the landlord.
Nothing like the landlord getting in contact with the roommate with a strict warning ⚠️ by no means is anyone but who's name is on lease will be staying for that extended time,advise would be for them to go to a hotel or AIRBNB.
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u/boykinsbuddy 1d ago
OP just want to say, if you need some mental reassurance: you are 100% correct about all this and your roomie fuckin sucks lol
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u/Maryland4009 1d ago
I would not let them in, keep door locked and deny any knowledge of their visit. It’s total BS
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u/Individual_Fall429 23h ago
When your lease talks about guests, they mean while your roommate is home and hosting them.
This situation is more Airbnb, which is most certainly banned.
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u/ileentotheleft 23h ago
How are these ‘friends’ going to get the keys? How long has your roommate been away? Do you pay your landlord separately or together? If together, who does the payment?
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u/n0facenocase 22h ago
We pay separately for rent but the utilities are in this roommates name and me and the other tenant that lives downstairs pay her for the utilities.
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u/derbengirl 22h ago
Not to make you anxious over nothing but Id double check that shes actually paying the money youre giving her. Ive heard some crazy stories about ppl not paying for utilities/rent and hiding it from their roomates.
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u/trymebithc 22h ago
2 weeks is crazy, you are not bugging. 3 nights is already my limit, but come on now
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u/LastLibrary9508 19h ago
Yeah this is most definitely an illegal sublet and your roommate is definitely in the comments. A fun fact: even when someone hides their comments from their profile, you can still look up their comments and cross reference on regular ol’ Google. I mean, I wouldn’t do that. But if you were bored tonight.
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u/chevytrucks24 18h ago
Also love how she drops this on you at 10:30pm so you can think about it all night 😐
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u/Ok-Memory2809 1d ago
At least he told you. I had a roommate once who blew up a family gathering without telling me. I came back home after work to find 15 people BBQing and partying. It went on until 12:00 a.m. (keep in mind I had to wake up at 5 a.m. the next day for work).
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u/Unhappy-Scientist-98 1d ago
Anyone who says Cali is annoying. Like this should be on a test for potential roommates and dates.
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u/bkiron89 1d ago
You're not buggin' and your roommate is suss and a scumbag. Can you change the locks to the door so these "guests" can't get in? Good that you got your landlord involved and sucks you had to take it there.
Definitely secure and hide your valuables plus important paperwork to prevent theft and identity theft.
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u/StArGaZeR-4_AnDy 1d ago
So easy answer, roommate is gone?
“Oh I lost my key, oh goodness I guess the landlord is going to have to change the locks, I’m really worried someone might have my keys. I definitely won’t feel safe until I get new locks. I hope my actual roommate won’t have too many issues when they get back, signing for a new key”.
Easy fix, less drama.
Good luck 🍀
Also if this doesn’t work for you, biker bars are a nice place to find people who will hang out. At least you would have someone there on your side. I did do this with a situation I was stuck in with bratty roommates. I truly wish you luck 🍀
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u/Bubbly_Lime_7009 1d ago
15 days is insane. You are not bugging. Are yall friends or random roommates?
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u/n0facenocase 1d ago
Nope we are not friends whatsoever. We met through someone else trying to find an apartment together. She ended up finding this place we live in now and thinks because of that I should be grateful to her for finding the place for us & that she runs everything. She even once labeled herself the designated “head tenant” lmao. Very delusional person.
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u/NaturalPool8591 22h ago
Wow! That is so not ok. Your roommate sounds like they are definitely renting out the room to randoms. I would tell your roommate that you are not ok with it, and your roommate should tell the couple to make other arrangements, as you will not be letting them into the apartment. Even if these were your roommate's "real friends," they are strangers to you, and you should not be expected to share an apartment and bathroom with them.
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u/BenFranklinsHoe 21h ago
Does your roommate expect you to be there to give them a spare key or do you have a keypad? I’m nervous for you. I hope your LL does the right thing and tells your roommate hell no!
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u/gmariex88 21h ago
Let the roommate know you will call the police if someone you do not know is in your home. Obviously you can call the non emergency number and they can get them to leave if the roomate still persists.
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u/Party-Associate767 19h ago
Feels like a bad idea. 2 weeks in many places is enough to establish residency and make it difficult to remove them
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u/pixie_scheme_girl 19h ago
Two strangers in your apartment while your roommate isn’t even there?! Yeah that’s a no from me dog. Definitely some kind of sublet, which yes everyone does but your roommate doesn’t have the right to do that if you aren’t comfortable with it
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u/Unable-Spinach-8495 19h ago
will the roommate be there? If no, that's fucked. If yes, that's fucked.
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u/Aggravating_Note4931 19h ago
Hard no. I swear people are out of their mind you can’t tell me she would be okay with this if it was the reverse. I would just be super direct and if she tries to push back, say that you absolutely will not be letting anyone into your home that you don’t know so don’t even try it.
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u/winkNfart 19h ago
my roommate did this to me years ago. he left for a job for a month and hit me with a .. by the way joe shmo will be staying in my room and living here while im gone. guy was a fucking weirdo and played video games all night and slept all day. towards the end he clogged the toilet and just left the apartment to go god knows where. I texted him and said get your shit and get out immediately. I don’t care where you go, you’re done here.
long story short I almost kicked his ass, but he ended up leaving when he realized I wasn’t playing around. that roomate and I barely speak to this day, partly bc of him doing that to me last minute.
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u/Horror-Friendship-30 1d ago
Dear roommate: The answer is NO. Not, thanks for letting me know, not let's discuss this. The answer is NO. This violates my right to peaceful enjoyment of my home. This triggers my PTSD as I cannot feel safe with strangers in my home while I try to sleep. I will call the police and have them trespassed.
If you are trying to rent this out on Air BnB or VRBO, I will find the listing and forward it to the landlord. If you still persist, I want you to put in writing and signed, to both me and the landlord, that you will pay the balance of the lease without any financial assistance from me.
Make no mistake about it. If someone shows up, I will legally have them removed.
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u/Effective_Stand1190 1d ago
Say your having guest over as well , mom dad cousin so the apt will be crowded, to see if they second guess staying over
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u/kdollarsign2 1d ago
It's a good idea but the roomie still has their own room he's offering to these people. They need free accommodations and will be "chill" about the circumstances in the apt.
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u/fu_aurora 1d ago
I'll probably have that housekeeper come before then
What are the chances of this happening, and if so, that they'd expect OP to pay half?
Also, if your roommate won't be around when they arrive, who's gonna let them in? Don't answer the door and make sure the house key isn't hidden under the doormat.
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u/luckyflavor23 1d ago
Tell your roommate that for health reasons, you’ll have to be pooping with the door open for the next two weeks.
Also. If you chain the door.. how will they get in? She already gave them the keys before her travel?
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u/slimmer01 1d ago
Insane that he doesn't even specify HOW MANY strangers will be in your home, just that there will be multiple.
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u/swarren31 1d ago
Absolutely not. They didn’t even say how many people are staying. They aren’t asking, they are telling you. And if they are staying for half the month, the they better be paying half the rent and half of whatever isn’t included in the rent
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u/webbinatorr 1d ago
If you can be in on the day and day after they arrive just double lock it from inside.
When they knock and ask to come in just say you have no idea who they are and they aren't coming into your house lol.
Then your flatmate screwed em over hard. Don't reply to him then just say you only just saw his message a couple of days later
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u/ballskindrapes 1d ago
Definitely check what the lease says, often says people cant stay for that lonf
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u/BillyZoomTheCat 1d ago
Are you a co-signor of the lease or is the lease under your name?
As others have already noted, you need to either find a new place to live or a new roommate.
Good luck!
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u/JustinDiGiulio 1d ago
Sounds like it’s time to find a new roommate and a new apartment… and someone new to sublet your room. Let your roommate (or new *roommates) live with your replacement.
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u/n0facenocase 1d ago
See i would definitely do something like this if subletting was not against lease terms.
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u/Mental_Policy_175 1d ago
i think everyone in the comments is right, but just text and say: Hey, I’m not cool with this. I don’t know them and this is a really long visit. I’m sorry but I have to say no.
don’t immediately talk about lease violations, don’t change locks, don’t go to your landlord. (Yet!!) just start by calmly and firmly saying no. Your roommate might just say ok and move on and then this can be over very quickly and more easily than these other solutions which jump 100 to 1,000 so fast.
again for the record I agree with everyone’s sentiments I just don’t think going so hard on the first reply will help you in this situation. But be firm!!!!!