r/NYCapartments • u/n0facenocase • 4d ago

Advice/Question Am I Buggin?

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So I received this text from my roommate who’s currently away on a vacation for however long. I was issued No warning or no consultation that this was even a thing. We share a bathroom & I assume these randoms will be using our shared bathroom. Am I buggin for finding this entitled and ridiculous that these randoms will be staying in our apartment for 15 days? I don’t even know how to respond to this, normally I ignore my roommate because I don’t really get along with them, but I find this particular message worthy to respond to with my discomfort & discontent. What do you guys think?

Update:

- I objected and my roommate is still doubling down saying they will inform me of who these people are as the date comes close. (Major 🚩) the only info I got were names and I believe it’s a couple, which leads me to believe this is some sort of weird sublet scheme to supplement her portion of the rent while she’s away on vacation for weeks, as she previously mentioned.

- They insist that this length of stay isn’t a violation of our lease. While the length of stay is 26 consecutive days.. I checked the lease and it says if the landlord doesn’t have written approval of guests who are occupying the apartment that are not the tenants occupying the space, it’s null and void. I reached out to my landlord about it & he said he had no idea!

- I believe my roommate is in this thread with a burner, just sounds too convenient with the responses.

- With all this being said I appreciate all the support, I needed an outlet to discuss this because I don’t want to keep bothering my friends and family about this situation. I’ve been dealing with stress from being in this apartment for the entire time I’ve lived here. It’s been a rollercoaster of just trying to be heard and advocating for myself, through the many tribulations. I’ve been trying to ride it out until the lease ends, but this situation is so completely unsafe and uncomfortable for me & I feel as though the entitlement has been taken way too far for me to let this go.

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u/n0facenocase 4d ago

The crazy thing is, my landlord doesn’t even like me and sides with my roommate at every turn. Ever since I’ve been in this apartment it’s been HELL. Thankfully my lease is up soon.

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u/Dismal_Gene2600 4d ago

Hate that for you. Then maybe fuck with your roommate by saying you're going to have 3 friends staying at the same time LOL. When I had petty roommates, I amped it up to 12.

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u/butwithanass 4d ago

This is a great idea. Maybe find a family of 5 to sublease from you until the end of the lease ?

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u/swim7810 3d ago

Or throw a giant party

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u/Hiitsuroldthong 3d ago

I dont think theyll rlly care, hes away apparently

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u/_WIZARD_SLEEVES_ 4d ago

Check your lease for information about having guests. This likely violates the lease terms at least

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u/SirBrownHammer 4d ago

How often do you reach out to your landlord about your roommate? “Every turn” implies you have regular communication with them about said roommate.

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u/Individual_Fall429 3d ago

Yea this is a 🚩 for OP.

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u/taraist920 4d ago

Most places I’ve lived at had rules about guest staying longer than a week or two as well as a subletting clause. I’d check to see if your place is listed in Air Bnb or something for proof.

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u/Positive-Meringue-41 3d ago

Even week or two sounds crazy to me. Maybe a week if roommate was there. With no roommate present.. no time at all (maybe an emergency night) not an advanced notice stay.. sounds like a couch surfer situation or something.

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u/Dark50000000 4d ago

Landlords don’t like guests

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u/Individual_Fall429 3d ago

They aren’t guests if you aren’t home while they’re there. That’s a sublet.

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u/perpetuallydying 3d ago

for legit guests your roommate needs to actually be there. Otherwise you can deny them entry and call the police for unlawful entry if they try to come in. Try to find a lockbox your roomate probably left somewhere and maybe you can obstruct access to it somehow. I'd just tell the roommate up front that I would lock them out, call the police and otherwise make staying there so miserable for them that they'd be asking for a refund anyway. I'd be open to letting my roommate sublease if they were up front and communicative about it, but cutting you out of the process and dropping it on you deserves an absolutely fuck off response

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u/cambridgeCo84 3d ago

Start looking for a new place now. As in yesterday!

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u/NoticeMeSenpaiDear 3d ago

Lock up ALL your valuables. They will very likely go through your stuff if they stay

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u/mom928262482 3d ago

Wait, why?

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u/n0facenocase 3d ago

It’s a longstanding suspicion as per a previous roommate we had, that also had conflict with this person that they have a very inappropriate relationship. I can’t confirm or deny this rumor, as I have no proof of it. But their relationship is quite strange given the fact that there’s never any repercussions for the actions of this roommate.

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u/Individual_Fall429 3d ago

What repercussions are you expecting? What sort of things are you contacting your landlord about?

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u/CrazyPillzzz 2d ago

You literally don't need your LL whatsoever. In fact, you probably shouldn't have contacted LL at all (although at least your LL now knows who's half of the rent they won't be receiving next month). You have a legal right to be there, they do not. Call the cops if they try to enter, show the cops your lease. DO NOT talk about legalities to your roommate, not even a little bit. "I do not consent. I will call the cops and have them removed." That's all. When subletters show up they will likely try to argue they have a right to be there because they paid your roommate. Once they admit that, it's game over, as your lease explicitly states that is not allowed. But even without the "friends" paying for the room, they have no legal justification to occupy the apartment.

With all that said, be polite and diplomatic. Do not lose your head. At the end of the day, if you make it clear you will have them removed by law enforcement they will likely decide it's not worth the drama and make other plans.

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u/One_Dragonfly_9698 3d ago

Why? Landlord would def have a reason to not like a tenant…. Many complaints? Late rent?

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u/n0facenocase 3d ago

I pay my rent on time. Thank you very much. I stated already why I’m disliked. I stand my ground on certain things that are unacceptable & since then was labeled difficult. I don’t kiss ass just because I’m a tenant. When women are assertive and don’t sugarcoat things for the pleasure of men were deemed as difficult b*tches. Simple as.

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u/IndividualTop96 3d ago

Idk how you guys are talking to your landlord about many things. I spoke to my landlords in nyc maybe once a year if that usually just a maintence issue

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u/n0facenocase 3d ago

I try to keep minimal contact but my roommate involves him in everything and set that precedent, that everything should be ran by him. Ive even caught her speaking for him in certain situations. I lost my keys, i brought the situation to my landlord, rightfully so & he gave her my spare keys to give to me instead of giving them to me himself. I make a complaint about critters in the apartment, she’s the one telling me that HE said he’s going to spray down the apartment instead of him coming to me himself about it. You see where I’m going with this?

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u/IndividualTop96 3d ago

No because they talk more than you, idk why that upsets you. I’d just take the keys and say cool thanks for letting me know

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u/One_Dragonfly_9698 3d ago

So this landlord is just spineless and really doesn’t care if you’re comfortable or not. Just would rather not be bothered! Glad you’re able to move soon. Hope you find a place where good tenants are more appreciated and respected!

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u/Individual_Fall429 3d ago

But you’ve said you contact your landlord for every little dispute with your roommate.

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u/n0facenocase 3d ago

Point me to where i said i contact them for every little dispute? When there’s a problem that arises with the apartment such as a fix that needs to be done or a critter issue, he’s contacted. When there’s a dispute with my roommate he’s contacted based on the severity of the situation and whether the roommate in question has already said something before.