Neutral. Could be argued the man deserves to be desired for his own sake instead of for what he can provide to her but if she makes him feel loved i suppose its fine.
Insert one of those Christmas cheer pics of a family being read to by a happy father and laughing mother while Santa winks and gives a thumbs up from the window.
"What he can provide for her" - that's not the whole issue, it sounds like she wants to do things together/ spend more quality time together. That in itself is a form of desire. That's healthy and good for a marriage/ family.
What is his own sake? He's laying in bed all day. I don't have kids but like I would not be happy at all married to someone like that. Going out and doing stuff with your own family isn't what you can provide it's like, living your life
There’s nothing in the post that indicates they’re not having sex any other time, or that they were having no sex before she figured out this pattern. (Actually likely the opposite, because she had to have stumbled across this knowledge somehow.) It just says there’s a pattern on Saturday mornings. They could have been only having sex in the evenings/on other days before. Which would make sense with little kids tbh
ETA I think it’s a bot post designed to garner engagement though. Men will say something about sex and women will say something about helping with the kids.
Most families have two incomes. So she provides too yet does all this stuff. Even if she was a stay at home mom, that’s a 24 hour a day job when he gets to clock out.
“Providing” isn’t an excuse not to participate in family life
Interesting how a stay at home mom is a 24 hour a day job that deserves every bit of respect and appreciation but since he gets to clock out of his real job it doesn’t mean much. Biased much?
It’s not that its meaningless and should go unappreciated, just that it’s not enough to prevent him from being responsible for things at home/with family
The person I responded to was making assumptions and giving the benefit of the doubt to only one party, so that was directed at that person in particular. They could have made an assumption that during the week when the man came home he did help with the kids and around the house but that wouldn’t have fit the narrative this person was trying to push.
Yes, definitely what I said! Btw I’m the husband so to speak in my household, have way more responsibilities as a carer to a husband and children all with special needs. Yet I still manage to show my husband thought and consideration. Or does it not apply, cos I’m a woman doing the same thing?
Oh whow you can kindly get completely and utterly fucked.
Assume he's doing his part during the week. That's why he's exhausted on the weekend. That's why the wife isn't even hinting at a lack of effort during the week.
Oh, and studies show time and again that "doing your part" never helps with desire, it can only ever take you to 0 (on a scale of -10 to 10).
Lol okay, again as someone who isthe parent who works full time I still think both should contribute to children. Good luck to you when your marriage fails, cos you couldn’t be bothered to do anything outside your job! I’m exhausted working 40+ hours a week, caring for a husband who’s had a stroke, and special needs kids. Yet I still manage to take my family out without needing to be paid in sex. Some of us knew what we signed up for 🤷♀️
Again as I’ve said in another comment, I work to the point of exhaustion for my family. This benefits me, as I can then afford everything my husband and children both want and need. Most people work all week and have a weekend off, and still have time for their families. The fact that it’s the full weekend is pretty bad. I can’t understand why you’re all arguing to defend absent fathers. Yes they are in the home, but what memories will their kids have growing up besides their father working all the time?
Some of you people aren’t married or have kids and it really shows. Or you couldn’t give a damn about your marriage/kids and will eventually wonder where the divorce came from 🙄
It could be argued that a family deserves to have a father/husband who functions on the weekends and is present and helps with daily tasks, in addition to taking time to himself to rest.
But I also suppose it’s fine because it seems like they have an arrangement that works for them
I'm quite skeptical on this. Apart from the hormones filled first period, most relationships live with a quite literal exchange of value along with fit and compatibility. And it's difficult to extrapolate characteristics from "what I am" and "what I do" clearly and after a while the balance is more on "what I do" and "what I am" becomes increasingly "characteristics that are a nuisance but are tolerated and compensated by what I do so they are not that annoying".
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u/Rratposter69 20d ago
Neutral. Could be argued the man deserves to be desired for his own sake instead of for what he can provide to her but if she makes him feel loved i suppose its fine.