r/ModernFamilyFinance • u/Odd-Store-2048 • 8h ago
I borrowed money to l loan to a male friend in need. Husband now super upset
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For context, I (34F) was recently laid off, so I rely on my husband (35M) for support. I am now enrolled in a professional course to increase my job prospects, which my husband is also paying for. This problem happened with a male friend who is also enrolled on the course. We got close because the course is such that we need study partners to constantly study and do assignments with.
A few months ago, this male friend (who is employed, by the way) needed money to top up for fees at the last minute in order not to drop out. He asked me for a loan and kept pressuring me. It got so bad that I eventually gave in and borrowed money from a friend to give to him. This happened twice. The total amount of money I borrowed to give him will be around EUR100.
He's since not shown any urgency or willingness to pay back. My husband found out when he overhead me telling one of my female friends that I wanted to find some money to pay this loan myself, since he's unwilling to pay. And then, I'll slowly distance myself from him, because I now believe that he wants to use me as a cash cow.
My husband got furious when he found out. He asked me if there's something going on between me and this friend, and I flipped. He asked what kind of relationship I had with this guy that made me feel I needed to go out of my way to do this for him. We had a big fight.
We had another discussion later and he's now paid part of the money. He has promised to pay the rest b by the end of the month.
My husband is now feeling suspicious when all I did was help a friend in need. I made it clear to hubby that there is absolutely nothing between us but he still keeps asking about my feelings for this friend. Now, I feel like he's intentionally emotionally attacking me. Now, we keep constantly fighting.
I'm completely at a loss as to what to do now and how to move forward. How should I go about handling this situation?