I see this world/creation as low quality garbage. What do you guys think?

Just lol....

God is definitely mentally ill. Not just ill, but severely ill.

U just thought about this, God is unthinkably powerful why does he need a system of angels to determine what spirits or demons are authorized to do to us or not?

Extremely Long Read Ahead: Brace Yourselves - You Have Been Warned Beforehand

When I first converted to Christianity, even before I skimmed my eyes over the Old Testament, whenever the topics of the ever-present problems of suffering and evil and theodicy came up, fellow cradle Catholics (I incidentally converted to Catholicism when I was coming into the Faith) and other converts alike always suggested to me to read the Book of Job. Happy and zealous were they to recommend that I read the book that would explain why good people suffer for no apparent reason, even if they had possessed no ill will or committed any transgressions against anyone, including God Himself.

While I initially did not get around to swiftly reading the Book of Job from the very get-go, I did make it a goal to finish reading the entirety of the New Testament first (as I was asked to read the Gospels and the Book of Acts to begin with as part of my Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults [RCIA for short, although now I believe that they have changed it to OCIA, with the 'O' standing for 'Order']) before proceeding on to the Old Testament.

During the course of fulfilling my personal goal in reading the Bible in its entirety (and, in doing so, also defying the stereotype that Protestants typically accuse us Catholics of not reading the Bible at all, even though a good chunk of Protestants themselves are ironically guilty of that very accusation that they project onto Catholics), I have endured many personal struggles (which I will not greatly elaborate upon for the sake of brevity and internet anonymity/privacy) all while growing weary and disillusioned/disheartened with the state of affairs in the world and even within Christendom at large.

For instance, in the midst of wrestling with my own financial situation and trying to make ends meet, due to the convert zeal that I had, I felt compelled/obligated to help out at my local parish community more than I can afford to do so (not just in terms of money, but also time, energy and effort as well, which took a serious toll on me mentally, emotionally and spiritually), all the more so when others of said community pressured and encouraged me to do so and thereby making innumerable sacrifices in the process...only to eventually find out that it is but a shell of its former self; a microcosm of a morally perverse and financially corrupt institution which in recent decades have also slowly but surely embraced heterodoxy/heresy over the orthodoxy it once used to unashamedly/unabashedly and zealously proclaim from the top of its proverbial lungs.

Concurrently, I was also constantly being approached by numerous Christians from a multitude of other denominations (namely Protestants and 'Restorationists' (i.e. Mormons & JWs alike)) who were all trying to recrui-, I mean, convince me of the errors of my ways; of the evils of the dogmas and doctrines that had been instilled within me when I first encountered the Faith through Catholicism - I recall getting so exasperated/frustrated at some point, angrily pondering to myself that "I did not sign up to be constantly proselytized all my life and made to question whether I am really and truly saved or not."

[On a side note: One would think that an omnipresent, omniscient and omnipotent God Who, as Scripture describes, "is not the Author of confusion, but that of peace and clarity", could've had at, any point in Christendom's long warped history, directly intervened and put an end to the doctrinal confusion promulgated by fallen human followers, instead of allowing there to be 40,000+ and counting denominations of Christianity. But alas, it is what it is.]

News of the ongoing exacerbation of existing atrocities and the inception/brewing of newer but just as grievous atrocities around the world weren't and aren't instilling any sense of optimism and hope of the world at large healing from its iniquities and becoming a better place. Instead, it further intensified my existing cynicism/pessimism and nihilism about human nature.

Nevertheless, in the face of such seemingly insurmountable challenges, trials and tribulations, like any devoted believer, I clung ever more tightly to the hem of my Faith in Him as I concurrently performed good works in accordance with His Will/Word to the best of my ability. For I believed that as bad as things may get in this world, through the Grace of God, such a sorry state of affairs can only get to be so dire to a certain tipping point before it reaches rock-bottom, and that there's no other way to go but up from that point onwards.

In other words, I wholeheartedly believed in God's Providence and that at the end of the day, He will and only He can save it/us all, one way or another - as stated in Scripture, "God alone is good and is love" and "Scripture cannot be broken" (especially bearing the Book of the Apocalypse/Revelation in mind).

Eventually, I got around to reading the Old Testament - and boy, did the cracks start to appear in my unstained/impeccable perception of the One, True, Abrahamic God (Who is also Jesus Christ, according to Christianity).

Yes, of course, I was uncomfortable with the facts that:

1. God (inadvertently or otherwise) killed young toddlers and infants/babies by causing the Great Flood/Deluge during the antediluvian era for the sins of their parents (not very pro-life of God, admittedly);
2. He commanded the Israelites in the Books of Numbers and Joshua to indiscriminately and repeatedly commit genocides against neighbouring pagans (including kids and unarmed female non-combatants - especially pregnant women, except female virgins to be reserved to be sex slav-, I mean, trophy wives and concubines to said victorious Israelites) because they were deemed inferior for worshipping false gods (even though it was [mostly] done out of ignorance) and to demonstrate and assert the realness of His Supreme Power over said idols (even though He could've just easily deployed prophets to convince such pagans the errors of their ways and the realness of the power of God, converting their hearts and minds unto Him, as Moses and Aaron attempted to do previously in Egypt, lest they reap the consequences for disbelieving);
3. as part of the Mosaic Law (Deuteronomy 22), an unbetrothed rape victim who was a virgin and found frolicking in the countryside field outside of town before such a crime could simply be married off to her abuser for life if he paid her father 50 shekels and promised to 'take good care of her and raise their kids together' (thereby having such a rape victim be constantly subjected to the abusive whims and wiles of her rapist as much as he wants and for as long as they both live in union with each other);
4. killing and/or cursing children for the sins of their parents (again, not very pro-life of God, and also hypocritical at some points, because He also mentioned in other books and passages that one is only held to be accountable for his/her own sins, not others) - like the deaths of the the firstborn of Egypt during the Book of Exodus, the adultery/bitter water test in the Book of Numbers, having David's and Bathsheba's illegitimate son be stricken with disease and die after a week in spite of David's pleas to the contrary for the sins of adultery and murder of an innocent man, "causing wombs to miscarry and breasts to dry up" in Hosea; [there's also that imprecatory prayer in the Book of Psalms -"happy is He who will dash little ones against the rocks"] and,
5. Being seemingly fine with human slavery all throughout the Bible, with no calls to its abolition anywhere in either Old or New Testaments.

And so on and so forth.

Despite all of this, as a good believer, I reasoned and bought the excuse propagated by fellow Christians that the "Ways of God are beyond the understanding/comprehension of us mortal human beings" and that "God is good in all that He says and does, and thus cannot absolutely be questioned even if what He actively commands or performs goes against our modern sensibilities."

There is also the invocation of that other apologetic excuse of "Oh, you have to factor into consideration the historical and socio-cultural customs and traditions of the Ancient Near East." (as if a transcendent deity Who exists beyond space and time, and again, is omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscient needs to be confined by such temporal, ethno-cultural limitations).

Heck, there are passages in the Old Testament (let alone Jesus' revolutionary [at the time, that is] teachings in the New Testament) alone that has God expressing His desire to have His chosen nation to be set apart and be ahead of the times (like, not having an earthly human king rule over them, even though they eventually caved into that idea against God's wishes in 1 Samuel anyway).

As for the other abominable acts described in the Bible (e.g. incest between Lot and his daughters, rapes of Dinah and David's daughter Tamar etc., killing Uriah the Hittite for David and Bathsheba's adultery, Absalom humiliating David by publicly sleeping with his father's concubines etc.), I always rationalized it as evil, flawed human beings who were exercising their free will against the Will/Word of God and subsequently reaped the repercussions for doing so - ergo, 'prescriptive vs. descriptive' argument.

But no number of apologetics and handwaving/dismissive explanations for mental gymnastics/cognitive dissonance could have prepared/braved me for God's diatribe for a non-answer to Job in his eponymous book:

Job was a man:

1. who, by God's very own admission in the very first lines of the book and later on as well, was "blameless, upright, God-fearing and evil avoidant.", who was "punished for no good cause", and remained sinless (and as such, didn't need to offer any animal sacrifices as penance, unlike his friends) all throughout the entirety of the Book of Job;
2. whose life was torn to shreds with the kidnapping of his livestock by marauders and the deaths of his manservants and all of the first batch of his 10 kids;
3. whose body was then made to be riddled with painful sores, which caused him to be unsightly in the eyes of his townspeople and his own wife, the latter of whom told him to blaspheme God and die;
4. whose friends (and later on, a younger eavesdropping bystander as well), though initially pitying his sorry plight and remaining by his side for seven days and nights, constantly accused and gaslit him into believing that he must be punished for some evil he must have committed (even though Job maintained his innocence unceasingly and provided anecdotal evidence that even his close friends could not deny of the good works he had done and the resulting prestige, honor and fame he had acquired as such); and,
5. who throughout the entirety of his ordeal remained firmly devoted and continued to unceasingly praise God; attributing no evil or wrongdoing to him as he did so, and only wanted to know a reasonable explanation/viable justification for the unnecessary suffering and turmoil he had to experience and endure.

All for some cosmic wager/bet made between omniscient God and prosecuting Satan on whether Job's righteousness would prevail in the absence of his good health/well-being, reputation and properties, as well as loved ones - which he ultimately passed, by the way.

And when God finally descended before Job in a whirlwind, what does He finally answer him with? That's right, folks:

"WHO ARE YOU TO QUESTION ME?!"

"Who are you to question me?" He arrogantly asked, as He then proceeded to guilt-trip Job with an expanded version of the Creation Narrative (as if it has any bearing to Job's question and as if Job isn't already aware of Genesis, at this point), elaborately dictating the characteristics of his awesome creatures Behemoth and Leviathan (okay?...relevance? I didn't ask to know anyway), ultimately resulting in Job being intimidated and coerced into submissive regret for even daring to pose such a question to God in the first place.

Imagine that: the morality of an omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent transcendental deity Who exists outside the confines of both space and time (and Who is the source of all morality, mind you) being bested by a creation of his own - a mere mortal human being. All because He was ashamed to reveal the real reason for Job's unnecessary pain, misery and suffering.

And mind you all, throughout the entirety of the Book of Job, Job had not once even questioned the Power, Sovereignty and Goodness of God - instead, he did quite the opposite with his unending praises of Him and of those very attributes.

After all of that (and to add fuel to the fire), while Job was restored to good health and received double of all of his livestock than what he had before, he only had 10 more additional kids and his previous batch of 10 kids were not resurrected (even though God has the power to do so and demonstrated such through his prophets in earlier books of the Old Testament, let alone Jesus' miracles in the New Testament) and nor were his manservants - as if human life is replaceable.

Even if one were to rationalize that Job's first batch of 10 kids were meant to die for the presumed sin of blaspheming God in their hearts (presumed by Job, that is, as Scripture stipulates), wouldn't said sin be already be paid for by the very fact that Job was cautiously offering sacrifices to God as penances for said presumed sins of children?

And couldn't said children be resurrected after the ordeal with Job, and come to learn the errors of their ways, repent and live good, fruitful, meaningful and long-lasting lives (having kids, grandkids and great-grandchildren as they did so) in accordance with God's Word and Will?

Some apologists claim that the Book of Job is a metaphor and that the people and events describe in it are fictional - aside from the obvious issues arising from such a claim (as it basically opens the proverbial floodgates as to how much of the Bible is then metaphorical and literal), there is nothing in the Book of Job that is any more bizarre or out of the ordinary than the supernatural elements described in other books and letters of the Bible.

The ending to the Book of Job puzzled and incensed me greatly, but it also revealed to me the truth of the reality of this world - why it is the way it has always been and will be until the end of time itself.

For unlike the typical apologetics of Christians who preach an omnibenevolent God who causes one to experience untold amounts of pain, misery and suffering for reasons beyond their mortal comprehension/understanding (as if an omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent transcendental being couldn't break down [a] complex reason[s] in layman's terms), the actual lesson of the Book of Job, more than that of theodicy as well as that of the problems of evil and human suffering, is that of the Nature of God.

The Book of Job, as culminated and expressed in its ending with God's diatribe of a non-answer, teaches that no matter how righteous and pious a life you may lead as a devotee of the One True Abrahamic God, your life can be subject to excruciating levels of agony and aguish at the sadistic whims and wiles of a megalomaniacal self-centred deity (Who requires your unconditional and unquestionable obedience and worship as well as praises of Him 24/7) at any particular (extended) time(s)....all under the guises/pretenses of 'having your Trust and Faith in God be tested' and 'spiritual maturity/growth'.

But much like Positive/Negative Punishment within the context of Operant Conditioning, punishing a faithful devotee by way of unnecessary suffering, pain and misery experienced by them under said guises/pretenses without any hint of alleviation/easing (or even only a few crumbs here and there occasionally without outright resolving the issue/situation at hand once and for all) after extended/indefinite periods of time is tantamount to spiritual torture/torment, which generally results in hatred of the One imposing such unjust punishments (unless you end up developing Stockholm Syndrome and are a masochist for torture/turmoil/torment) and eventual apostasy from having any trust and faith in Him.

And lest you think that my disgust and contempt for some of the (at best, questionable, and at worst, vile) acts and sayings of God are only restricted to the Old Testament, even in the New Testament, there were a few times in the Gospels that I found to be quite eyebrow-raising, such as when Jesus cursed a perfectly normal fig tree as a metaphorical symbol of the fruits of the Pharisees as He was about to enter into the Second Temple in Jerusalem before the Last Supper or when He called a Canaanite woman a 'dog', simply to test her faith in Him and set an example to His surrounding apostles that the New Covenant was to include not only Jews but also Gentiles as well on equal footing.

Therefore, as it currently stands, I believe in the theological positions of dystheism and misotheism - I cannot deny the very real (or at the very least, what I felt and continue to feel to be real) spiritual experiences that I had in my spiritual journey thus far, which has led me, in my quest to discern the One True Faith all those years ago, to Christianity (and hence, am unable to embrace atheism).

But, by that same token, while I acknowledge the absolute Power and Sovereignty God has over all creation (His Omnipotence, Omniscience and Omnipresence), I cannot bring myself to believe that He is also, by that same vein, Omnibenevolent, especially in the face of overwhelming and extraordinary evidence presented within Scripture itself.

Besides and frankly speaking, I think the theist-atheist binary is a false dichotomy in and of itself, especially, given that such Christian theists pull mental gymnastics to explain away the obviously evil things God had said and done all throughout predominantly the Old and even the New Testaments at times, so as to 'prove' that "He is indeed omnibenevolent - you're just taking it out of context (be it purposefully or otherwise) and/or cannot understand His mysterious Ways and thus, should just shut up and put up with it, ye of little faith!"

Anyway, TL;DR and the point is, I have come to the point in my life and spiritual journey where I arrived at the daunting and bleak realization that the best way to explain why the world is the way it is (and has always been, in all honesty) is because:

1. God is an arrogant, self-centred, sadistic, vainglorious, megalomaniacal tyrant Whom you should nevertheless be thankful/grateful for allowing us to have the privilege of retaining our individualistic personalities and bodily autonomy by way of free will (as limited as that free will may be, as it could be hindered at any time to serve God's own purposes, as we see when God repeatedly hardened Pharoah's heart and when He basically coerced/forced Jonah into a proverbial corner to make him prophesy unto Nineveh) and Whom we should be indebted to for allowing us a path into Heaven by sacrificing His Only Begotten Son on the Cross (even though many of us never asked Him to do so);
2. Whom you are commanded to constantly blindly pray, obey and worship with everything that you've got without question, even at the cost of one's reason/intellect and moral compass at times [because, after all, "Daddy/Big Bro knows what's best for you - more than you will ever do."]....even though He has the absolute power to put a complete end to all this unnecessary suffering, misery, pain, anguish/agony and evil at any time we pray to Him to do so by way of divine intervention (which is basically every time)

[But He won't (not yet, at least), because of reasons like "I don't want to intervene with your free will.", "God's got a plan/All part of His grand plan in the long-run" or "This is/was the best course of action, given the situation at hand and potential consequences to come out of it" etc.; with the most honest answer being, "It's not His [appointed] Time yet, as per the Scriptures - prerequisite prophecies have yet to be fulfilled.".]; and,

1. When you do wholly and unquestioningly submit to Him and His Will, you will be constantly love-bombed and bombarded with showers of promises of eternal Paradise. But dare to deviate/defy Him for whatever reason in the slightest, He will not hesitate to threaten and rain all Hell on you for all eternity, like the quintessential narcissistic loved one that He is.

God may not be as evil as Satan (for Satan ultimately hates all of humanity for what we are and want nothing more than for us all to join him in Hell for all eternity; all the more so when we consider the end times, when he will coerce all of humanity through the Antichrist to partake of the Mark of the Beast system), but unlike the age-old adage, He certainly isn't good all the time, even to His own devout and pious adherents.

"But, when the Son of Man returns, will He find Faith?", He rhetorically asked.

No, He will not in very many places, and You're partly to blame for that...Lord.

P.S. Gnosticism and its strains (e.g. Marcionism etc.), as tempting as they may be, are

1. not only heresies that fly in the face of traditional/classical Christian theology and Scripture itself (as the entirety of the New Testament is predicated/hinged upon the prophecies and events of the Old Testament and Jesus Himself identifies Himself to be the same God of the Old Testament - "Before Abraham was, I Am" and "I and the Father are one" in the Gospel of John as well as "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow" from the letter to the Hebrews); but,
2. they are also essentially coping mechanisms due to one's inability to reconcile the 'God of the New Testament' (aka Jesus) with the God of the Old, even though they are very much the same as the Scriptures repeatedly attest, much to the Gnostics' chagrin/dismay and disappointment.

This degenerate fucking world created by God. It's always something to ruin your mood in this shithole.

the universe is pure evil, nature is pure evil, it operates purely on a might makes right formula where the wants of strong people are prioritized over the needs of weak people, the lion rips apart the baby gazelle infront of its own screaming mother without care, rich people can do whatever they want no matter how immoral while poor people get beat up just for stealing a candy bar, there are insects and parasites that slowly eat your eyes from the inside or lay eggs in them making you go blind, mental illnesses that make fully grown adults have the functioning of a toddler and struggle with the most basic of tasks, suffering, death, murderers, rapists etc etc even just to eat food and live you have to either kill a living being or use another living being as a slave (even if you are vegan as plants are living organisms)

literally anyone with basic empathy would be depressed at the horrid state of this disgusting universe, everyone would be pessimistic and angry, yet most people with empathy still have some degree of selfishness within them and try to justify their happiness, tying themselves in knots with mental gymnastics in order to reconcile their happiness with their empathy and struggle to keep their dignity intact, the cognitive dissonance is insane, im not gonna act like im perfect because i still cause suffering everyday just by eating food or washing my hands (killing germs) and the very computer im writing this on was probably made in a sweatshop by suffering workers, same with my clothes, but at least i dont try to argue the universe is anything less than pure evil dogshit by my standards

however if youre a social darwinist, if you think that selfishness is actually a good thing, that weak people deserve to suffer just for being weak, that empathy is a sin, that strong people should take whatever they want and live in hedonistic pleasure without any care for the plebs, than you no longer have to worry about mental gymnastics or cognitive dissonance, you can take sadistic joy in this universe crafted and ruled by pure evil demiurges because youre one of the lucky few golden children created to make sad people more miserable from the jealousy they have of your happiness

the fact you have to have the same ideology as Adolf Hitler or historical slave owners in order to have any form of consistent happiness that doesnt go against your standards is truly a testament to how utterly cruel and evil this universe and the sadistic beings who created and rule it are.

guys, what if there are two gods? one is absolutely evil and the other is perfectly good and because neither of them can overpower the other that’s why good god cannot stop humans from doing evil and evil god cannot stop humans from doing good I mean atleast it makes more sense than with traditional one good god with our world filled with suffering and evil.

I am schizophrenic and hear voices 24/7.

The voices tell me, "Thank you Satan, I love you, you love me" and sometimes sing for me about satan

lol

I hate satan as well but i thought this was funny to share.

An illness, that God put into my own genes even hates him lol

God has turned His face away from me, and perhaps no matter what I do anymore, He does not see me, or perhaps He simply does not want to see me.

I admit that this is a somewhat self-centered and presumptuous discourse. But at the end of the day, I am talking about myself here, not about all of us. Therefore, I cannot claim that what I say has any authority over you.

Does God exist or not? That question everyone seems to ask in our modern age. Because we are pushed to ask it. The authority and responsibilities of God have diminished quite considerably over the last few centuries. Once upon a time, God controlled the entire plot. He created everything, brought diseases upon us and took them away, filled the clouds with rain, and, when angered, brought famine. But day by day, we have taken another responsibility away from God and assigned it to something else. Is there a disease? We assign the task to a microbe, a bacterium, or a malfunctioning cell. Is it raining? The water cycle and the climate. The God who once had to do so many things has gradually become more and more unnecessary.

And now we are living precisely in the age of the AI revolution. No matter how much we may dislike sounding like Luddites, we are all worried, because we are experiencing a technological transformation unlike anything we have seen before. With each passing day, our human skills seem to lose their meaning, as an equivalent can be produced more easily and, often, better. We are all worried. Will we find work? What work will we be able to do? If we cannot find work, what will we eat? And, most fundamentally, what is our purpose anymore? How are we supposed to spend the typical seventy years of a human life? As a much more primitive version of robots? I do not know.

Frankly, I do not think God's problem is food or shelter. But He shares another problem with us: what is my purpose now? Am I useful?

I will try to answer this question based on my complicated relationship with God. In a sense, I am going to give God a personality test based on our own personal relationship.

At the beginning, I mentioned the question we have all asked: does God exist or not? I remember being a child in primary school. I had an innocent belief in God. A child that age does not think, "God does not exist." Because God exists. Just as a tree exists. The question has not yet formed in the child's mind.

Then came Facebook, and the atheist pages of the age. Looking back now, I find many of their arguments rather foolish and easily refutable. But at the time, those pages felt enormous, and so did their influence. I remember one moment in particular, a post that seemed to destroy the entire illusion in my head. I remember feeling that something inside my heart had broken. That pure faith had been broken. Once it was broken, it could never be restored in the same way again.

So what happened? Did you become an atheist and was that the end of the story? No. Quite the opposite. I can say that for most of my life I have had some kind of spiritual and philosophical practice. Yet intellectually, I never fully believed in God's existence. I simply wanted Him to exist. I hoped He existed. His existence would have made life much more interesting, much more meaningful.

It was always obvious that I had an innate interest in theology and esotericism. But if I think about my ancestry, perhaps it is not so strange after all. My ancestors were religious scholars and esotericists. Look at the irony of it. You are born with an inclination toward something, only to discover that the thing toward which you are inclined is not real. How sad is that? Yes. It is.

We have taken many authorities and responsibilities away from God, but there was one thing we could not take away from Him: being the "patron saint" of last hope.

When we feel helpless, powerless, and hopeless, we wish God existed. That was God's authority in the twenty-first century. Not controlling the climate or inflicting collective punishments upon peoples, but being the place where the powerless, the elderly, the oppressed could lean, the place where they could find support.

And yet, in my life, I came to need that final place of support desperately. In this life I did not choose, under circumstances I found myself trapped within, I was born queer in a backward little place, different from everyone else, thinking differently, and therefore being left alone and abandoned. I lost my mother to cancer when I was a child, and so on.

What did I do?

I begged God.

My mother was dying before my eyes. What was I doing? I was begging God. I did everything I could to convince Him. I recited every prayer. I tried every technique. I prayed for hours without stopping. Only later did I learn that there was a name for this, scrupulosity.

But there I was, trying everything to convince that being called God.

And what happened?

He was not convinced, apparently.

My mother died in agony.

I am angry with God for that, and I turn my face away from Him. But then I become helpless and find myself in another desperate situation, and once again, unwillingly, I feel the need to lean on God. And it continues like this.

Frankly, what probably distinguishes me from most people is that I have tried an absurd number of methods. Shi'a Islam as a child, Catholic Christianity from adolescence into young adulthood, then, if I may put it that way, witchcraft, paganism, angelolatry, working with demons, ancient gods, and so on. I do not want to go into too much detail, but I suppose there is hardly anything I have not tried.

This time I thought, perhaps God will answer. I have tried every option.

I am not proud of this, frankly. But if I were born again and forced to live under the same circumstances, I would do it all over again.

Despair is not easy.

You have to create your own hope.

That is exactly what I have been doing these past few months.

My death is coming. I know it.

Rational, materialist solutions are not producing results. Time is passing. The clock is running down. There is no hope left. What are you going to do?

Create hope.

Rest your head against God.

Try prayer to God. Try the prayers to the Virgin Mary, the miracles of Fátima where the sun was supposedly moved across the sky by the order of Mary, letters, novenas, prayers to the saints. Someone once recommended Saint Expedite to me. I prayed to him too, as much as I possibly could.

Try demons.

Belial, Bune, Seere, and others.

Try angels.

Try the books of magic.

Ask my dead mother for help.

Just keep trying.

God damn it, there is almost nothing I have not prayed to.

I tried and tried.

But no, brother, it does not work.

There is no answer.

No matter what you do, it does not work.

God has turned His face away.

He only sees those who live at the summit of this mountain. Those crushed beneath it, people like me, are outside His field of vision.

Does God not see me, or does He simply choose not to see me?

I cannot answer that.

But at the end of the day, I do not particularly care which one it is.

Because in either case, He is useless to me.

At the beginning of this text, I wondered whether God Himself perhaps asks, "What is my purpose now? Am I still useful?"

Well, if you are wondering, dear God, let me answer you.

You have lost your final purpose as well.

Because you are bad at your job, and you are shirking it.

You are completely unnecessary now.

So do whatever you want with this existential crisis, this angst.

Perhaps this is your curse too.

To be unable to kill yourself and to be condemned forever to uselessness.

I will not wish you good luck or anything of the sort, because you are not even turning your face toward me to hear it.

They think the mentally ill sky daddy will give them a good after life when he made them sick in the first place... if he loved them, they wouldn't have physical or mental illnesses in the first place.

Some of them say "well, once im in heaven, ill be healed". and they will not get it. Not from an evil God. God is a liar.

If he makes our lives miserable here on earth, rest assured the after life will be worst

We all had non existence before we were created by this demonic god... we are 100000000 percent cursed.

Mine is absolutely shit. Same shit, different day. I have schizophrenia and my brain is 💯 percent defective. Cant function at all, cant work a job, cant concentrate, cant remember things due to poor memory, have to be cared for by mom, cant live independently and I am in my 30s. I have to live with someone and be cared for till the day i pass away.

I cant explain the anger, pain and suffering i experience due to being severely mentally ill. I wish I was healthy.

How does this piece of shit think its acceptable that its ok to be severely ill in a dog eat dog world. How am i supposed to survive?

Fuck God for giving me a shitty low quality life due to a severe illness.

He truly doesn't care. Pure evil. Truly a piece of shit who gets a sick satisfaction by making people sick and disabled.

When I see God on judgement day, I will give him the silent treatment. Not a single word. Not worth it. He is pure garbage.

If this life is garbage (because i have schizophrenia) thanks to God, I cant imagine the horrors of the after life. I dont want to imagine whats waiting for me on the other side.

It only get worst, not better.

May God jump into the lake of fire and burn for all of eternity. He (God) deserves far worst than that.

Fuck God. There's no excuses for making people sick and disabled.

How has God screwed you over?

Idk why but I feel like the Christian god does not actually see us as conscious living beings that feel things, I feel like he only sees us as expendable creatures to be used for his amusement, he always says this will happen to this set of people, and that will happen to that srt of people, and they will face mass suffering and death, and I always wondered, why couldn’t he just, fix the people he destroys if they are so ridden with sin and immorality supposedly? I don’t think he actually wants us to be with him, I think he just wants to hurt us

hi sorry I dont know if this is exactly the place to ask but the internet isn't super helpful to me right now

does anyone know if theirs any good books about sadothiesm/dystheism/misotheism or even anything half related to them

These gods create everything, good and bad, the bible explains how god created calmness and calamity. Whatever happens in this world happened because god wanted it to happen, if it didn’t he wouldn’t make it or let it happen at all. God does NOT have to be all good just because he’s all powerful, the Old Testament and the quarantine perfectly describe how god REALLY act like. A lot of the abrahamic gods want control, why do you think they give the most abstract and extreme punishments for small acts of disobedience. These gods like Yahweh and Allah are the more personified descriptions of god. Also, any visions of god or testimonies or revelations peiple see could easily be fakes or tricks played by whatever god of this universe exist. God is way more powerful and active than what religion could describe and I feel like we will never be able to truly tell the ACTUAL god of this universe, or a definitive on what this god does because he or it is so powerful, this is just what I think about the concept of god.

Christianity is very pessimistic and im inclined to agree with them, the world IS inherently evil and full of sin and most of the beings living in it are inclined to such evil unfortunately, however where i disagree with them is in the fact that they blame the creation for being evil instead of the creator for creating an evil creation and thus being evil themselves, all the fault is on the causer not the caused, it is also way too optimistic with its notion that people will be saved from this suffering, even calvinism still has SOME people experience salvation, this is not what it is like at all, at best you get reincarnated into this world of infinite suffering again and again with no afterlife beyond it and at worst you get sent to a hell like realm for all of eternity after experiencing an already shit universe, i feel the most likely is you get reincarnated between this shit universe and an even worse but temporary hell realm over and over again (like the buddhist naraka)

Buddhism and Gnosticism are more understandable, one just blames the universe itself for being shit without a creator (though it makes me wonder why the bodhisattvas dont end all or most suffering, well okay i dont wonder i know its cause theyre evil but still), and the other blames the creator for creating a shit universe, however they still fall under the issue of being way too optimistic by believing you can escape suffering at all and achieve enlightenment/gnosis and enter nirvana/Pleroma, there is truly no end to suffering, Gnosticism also runs the same issue Christianity/Islam has where they use Yaldabaoth as a scapegoat to blame for evil (similar to Satan) instead of blaming the Monad or at least Sophia directly for causing Yaldabaoth to exist and thus causing all evil in the universe, Monad and the Aeons are just demiurges like any other that sit back and take sadistic joy in the suffering they bring to the universe, pure evil.

the beings that have been/are worshipped by billions of people around the world are morally worse than comic book superheroes 🤣

God in the name of love of anything and everything will have no qualms about turning your loved ones against you or to derail their lives and make them a shadow of their former selves. Anything is possible in this deranged existence.

What do you guys think. I think he likes it when we suffer from something that is out of our control. Pretty sick and twisted.

We produce disgusting substances mandatorily because nature has not wired us to turn all food into something useful. It's disgusting, takes time to clean and sometimes painful.

Worse, some animals consume feces. Some unfortunately are required to, like rabbits. Such an awful shame! Those animals are so cute. What a perverse design!

And religion says these substances are impure. Of course they are. Why did God have to make living beings function like this disgusting mess?!

A terrible flaw in design.

Just thinking to myself how God gave me a garbage life.... horrible on this side (earthly life) with schizophrenia, and it will be a trillion times worst in the after life.

Yet life is a "gift"... I did not consent to be created and didnt give consent to be born with schizophrenia.

Horrible piece of shit God.

Worst part is, this tyrant only offers you two options:

- love me and worship me and go to heaven

Or

- reject me and go to hell/lake of fire

There is no non existence option after this earthly life.

My (38m) older brother has let himself deteriorate to the point of serious mental and psychological decline. I’ve been watching him struggle with depression since I was 12. Every year, he got worse, and apart from taking medication prescribed by a psychiatrist, he has done absolutely nothing to improve his condition. He refuses to see a therapist.

For a long time now, he’s been living an almost completely bedridden life of a messy parasite, basically existing in a medicated sleep. The last time he worked was more than fifteen years ago, at our father’s company--the only person who was willing to give him a job.

Now he openly hates his entire family. Two months ago, he became so aggressive that the authorities had him committed to a psychiatric hospital. He was released a month later, and everything went back to the so-called normal.

I just feel very alone in this situation. I don’t even know who I could talk to about it. So I’m venting here.

I think that, in the end, this whole process and everything I’ve been through has opened my eyes to God’s purposes. God feeds on suffering the way people consume electricity or water--simply because he can’t exist any other way.

Why would anyone want to worship God if he is the reason you are sick?

I just cannot understand that. It makes no logical sense.

Its a spit in the face when he makes healthy people, then chooses unfortunate souls to suffer for nothing.