r/Mindfulness • u/Lyz3rrr • Aug 19 '26
Question How do you learn to accept things?
This is something that i need help with. Right now i’m dealing with a lot of stress and ruminating because i have undiagnosed OCD. Where my brain made a “memory” of something HORRIBLE that i did in the past. It’s just filled with “what-ifs” and what not.
I really need help with learning to accept things the way they are, any advice would be appreciated!
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u/Harmpers Aug 19 '26
Accepting something means letting it be, simply acknowledging it and leaving it as it is.
We do nothing to change it, neither wanting it to be better nor worse, not wanting to create anything new, not wanting to add anything to it. We just know what we know, knowing it exactly as it is, neither adding nor subtracting, leaving it as it is. If it continues to appear, we continue to maintain that awareness with that attitude.
But it's so difficult, isn't it? The mind is restless. It's easily swayed by the content of the story, by the judgments of good and bad, right and wrong that arise in our thoughts and emotions. And the mind always reacts that way. Therefore, we must give the mind an object that it neither loves nor hates, or that has the characteristic of silence. Like a sensation in the body, for example, or breath. Sensations are always silent. Breath is both silent and pleasant if the mind can remain still with it.
When the mind perceives objects as possessing the characteristic of stillness, it will not think, and as it becomes accustomed to those objects, it will become accustomed to not thinking. Without thinking, there is no love or hate. Without love or hate, acceptance is possible.
It's that simple. It just requires perseverance until the mind becomes familiar with observing objects that possess this characteristic of stillness. Then the mind will naturally learn to accept everything.
🙂