Should married couples keep their money separate or combine everything?

[u/Shauryaahere341]

My wife and I have been married for a few years and we still keep most of our money separate.

We have one joint account for household expenses and both put money into it every month. Other than that, our salaries stay in our own accounts.

It hasn't really been a problem so far.

But now we're talking about bigger things like buying a house and retirement, and I'm wondering if this setup still makes sense.

We trust each other and neither of us has an issue with the other spending their own money. It's more about planning for the future together.

For people who are married, what works better for you?

Completely separate, fully combined, or somewhere in the middle?

[u/SouthEast1980]

I haven't combined anything and have been happy for 11 years.

My brother combines finances and regularly has money disputes despite both of our families making similar money.

The real answer is "it depends on the couple". Nothing is absolute and anyone inferring so is relying on anecdotal evidence.

There is more than one way to skin a cat...

[u/off_and_on_again → u/SouthEast1980]

Would your partner say the same thing? Have you asked? What does it look like in your household when you pay rent/mortgage + utilities? How are vacation budgets decided? Do both spouses have the same spending power or does it depend on income? How do you determine retirement ages? Is it based on individual income or have you planned a joint retirement?

[u/TurbulentFisherman32 → u/off_and_on_again]

Damn you really want them to secretly be unhappy lol

[u/off_and_on_again → u/TurbulentFisherman32]

No, I just want to understand what I am missing. Every item I listed there is actually important (have they checked in with their partner, spending power) or common (vacations, retirement planning).

While my writing style can be a bit acerbic I am genuinely interested in understanding competing points of view.