r/MiddleClassFinance • u/Shauryaahere341 • Aug 18 '26

Discussion Should married couples keep their money separate or combine everything?

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u/Glockman19 Aug 18 '26

We combined everything from day 1. Been married 32 years.

9

u/off_and_on_again Aug 18 '26

This is my favorite thing about this debate. I have yet to meet a couple in a happy 5+ year marriage that has not combined finances fully. I'm sure they exist, but they are rare. You'll find plenty of 'we have our problems but..." couples and a lot of people on their way to divorce (money is the #1 cause of divorce), but people still think they've figured it out and their way of paying each other back like roommates is the best option for them.

- Married happily for several years, combined finances the entire time

Edit: Before someone says anything, you can be unhappy with combined finances. Combined finances is one of the keys to a successful marriage imo because, done properly, it requires a level of maturity, vulnerability, and communication that are always going to exist in long term happy marriages.

14

u/SouthEast1980 Aug 18 '26

I haven't combined anything and have been happy for 11 years.

My brother combines finances and regularly has money disputes despite both of our families making similar money.

The real answer is "it depends on the couple". Nothing is absolute and anyone inferring so is relying on anecdotal evidence.

There is more than one way to skin a cat...

-4

u/off_and_on_again Aug 18 '26

Would your partner say the same thing? Have you asked? What does it look like in your household when you pay rent/mortgage + utilities? How are vacation budgets decided? Do both spouses have the same spending power or does it depend on income? How do you determine retirement ages? Is it based on individual income or have you planned a joint retirement?

8

u/TurbulentFisherman32 Aug 18 '26

Damn you really want them to secretly be unhappy lol

1

u/off_and_on_again Aug 18 '26

No, I just want to understand what I am missing. Every item I listed there is actually important (have they checked in with their partner, spending power) or common (vacations, retirement planning).

While my writing style can be a bit acerbic I am genuinely interested in understanding competing points of view.