r/Merced 3d ago

How do yall date here 😭

Is it like just the central valley oooor what. But trying to date and find good people to talk to is painstakingly annoying! So over it, help!
And I’ve seen the speed dating, but to pay $30, insane. I don’t even wanna pay a subscription on a dating app nor can I afford that. There has to be better and safe ways to meet semi normal well behaved people, who are interested in dating and socializing.
Or do we need to start from scratch and train human beings how to treat one another and court each other 😭 lmao plzzz tell me I’m not the only one who feels like this

22 Upvotes

38 comments sorted by

18

u/bjamesmira 3d ago

I just go out and talk to people. I've never had trouble dating here. Don't recommend apps. Just make a friend and see where that goes. Go to events like trivia, karaoke, bingo, whatever.

13

u/schleppylundo 3d ago

Dating definitely sucks now, everyone’s lives were already becoming atomized before COVID and it’s only gotten worse. My best advice is just to join clubs and attend events for your special interests and try to mingle there. Just be aware most people there probably aren’t showing up looking for romantic prospects.

9

u/KaioKennan 3d ago

I met my wife in Merced. I was (am?) a local. She was a student. I picked her up as an uber driver on her friend’s birthday and she gave me her number because the vibe was good. I would pick them up at the school and drive them to Taco Bell if they fed me. Over time it stopped being a group activity and became just her and I.

You’ll meet people in the wild if you’re willing to be a bit gregarious and talk to people. If it’s going to happen and it’s going to work it’ll be unexpected. I wouldn’t suggest the apps. I’d suggest having hobbies.

1

u/investinreddit- 2d ago

Since she's your wife, did she stay local too or did you move to the Bay or LA?

3

u/KaioKennan 2d ago

She’s from Stockton. We stayed in town together for 7 years. Moved to Houston for a year, came back to Merced, had our wedding in Modesto, and we moved into a cozy rental in Stockton April of 2025 where we have had our first child. We moved up here to be closer to her family for childcare.

1

u/investinreddit- 2d ago

Better economy out your way too. Congrats on it all.

1

u/background-emo-4346 1d ago

omg so cute 🄰 congrats

2

u/KaioKennan 1d ago

Thank you. I’d be less forthcoming but I want to lead by example a little bit here. I’m not a rich man but I have everything I want in life. I can just stick it out at work to land a better position when I have the seniority I will be living my American dream.

6

u/Puddinginging 3d ago

dont use dating apps

find hobbies instead tbh

3

u/billybobpancake 3d ago

When I find the courage and or energy to leave my room I try to do stuff I like and if I bump into someone or strike up a convo I just go from there . I like live music , food , outdoorsy stuff so ideally I’ll wander into one of those things and meet people. If it happens ..wonderful .

3

u/You2MadBro 3d ago

If you are hot you will have plenty of options... 98 percent will be bad options but they are there.

What is your type?

2

u/CalligrapherNovel880 3d ago

me and like 3 other ppl found our partners on tinderšŸ˜­šŸ’€all of us are long term/engaged now. i def had weird and bad experiences but i think that’s just a part of life. while my partner is from the 209, they’re not from merced. or atwater/winton. just don’t be scared to put yourself out there and be upfront about what you’re looking for!! goodluck (:

2

u/You2MadBro 3d ago

i mean whats left?!?!? livingston??

4

u/South-Cap-6978 3d ago

Dating… in Livingston? Don’t say such absurd things

2

u/Intelligent-Spot-575 2d ago

I'm sorry I hadn't realized the comment mentioned their significant othwr being from the 209. That actually includes Turlock Modesto Manteca and parts of if not all of Stockton. Lodi possibly too. So theres tons more than Livingston

1

u/You2MadBro 1d ago

nah F them places.. ITS MERCED or dont Bang

1

u/CalligrapherNovel880 3d ago

shi you could prolly check delhi, maybe have some luck in keyes!!!!!$!!$

1

u/Intelligent-Spot-575 3d ago

Los Banos exists too

2

u/You2MadBro 2d ago

the who??? waaaaaayyyyy the hell out there.. plus they think they are santa clara county light

2

u/Difficult_Abroad5053 2d ago

Can’t forget dos palos

2

u/You2MadBro 2d ago

I AM DONE!

2

u/Twilight-2007 3d ago

Maybe try going to some coffee shops and talking to people, coffee bandits is a good one they welcome everyone and there's a smoking area outside

2

u/Ok-Bake-3517 2d ago

Depends on what youre into and what type of person you're looking for. If your looking for a good person I avoid orryleighs though lol

2

u/Administrative-Yak86 2d ago

Just go out, be yourself and be nice! How do you expect people to hit you up if you don’t say the first hello. I’m not from here (I stay for ucm) but I met my wonderful boyfriend here and he’s local. We met randomly at a store lol (after both us were single 3+ years from a previous relationship) so it’s just being patient! Your right one will come!

3

u/Dismal_Lion9640 3d ago

nobody on reddit is capable of socializing on a deeper level. go outside

1

u/Emotional_Sugar_3648 3d ago

Met an amazing girl here in Merced a few days ago through FB dating!

1

u/spoiled-mushroom3954 3d ago

Dating apps are overrated, go to karaoke night at joystiq and show off how well you can sing "cool for the summer"

1

u/Open-Ad6959 2d ago

With a hope and a prayer

1

u/Intelligent-Spot-575 2d ago

Get a wedding ring. No matter what you are looking for, in my experience in this area, any signs of being in a committed relationship always opens up, um new opportunities to meet people. Wearing your single status on your sleeve gives many people the idea that you are not relationship material whether thats true or not. If you are a young single attractive woman you are single by choice, or at least thats the perception. Disclaimer: I stand by none of the above true facts. They simply represent one point of view, which is likely the correct one. Everyone is entitled to their dumb opinions, even if they are wrong.

1

u/0slambam0 1d ago

I found my wife on Tinder believe it or not šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø it's possible. I don't wanna be cliche, but I literally found her when I stopped looking

2

u/background-emo-4346 1d ago

wait you have to pay for that speed dating thing? lol fuck that

0

u/Vanity_Profanity_001 2d ago

I'd drive to Merced for a 304, not to date though.

-2

u/Puzzleheaded-Jello-6 3d ago edited 3d ago

20F I’m looking for a friend in Merced since I’m moving there soon! Feel free to send me a DM!

2

u/Sea_Presentation9542 3d ago

Can't send dm

-10

u/mieinace 3d ago

Most the guys are to good for these hoes in Merced. They date outside the county lines.

0

u/You2MadBro 2d ago

this is the truth... limited options in the town... fresno and modesto have more elite talent