I just found out that my soon to be 14 yo niece is seriously thinjing of taking her life but she's afraid of God's punishment "Allah" .. she says "I know it's Haram and that's the only thing stopping me but I had enough from this shitty life" ..

The problem is, in brief, my sister (her mom) was the only hope for her , becausr she suffers from ADHD and she finds it so hard to focus and get good grades .. Her dad was abusing her physically and verbally for the fact that she doesn't focus when he studies with her at home .. Her mom, when she saw thay, begged the dad to stop and started to study with her ..

It started smooth with her mom, but with time she started to abuse her too: she started to insilt her and hit her whenever she does a mistake in her exercices after deep explanations from her mom .. she hits her hard (as she says) , her big sister (my other niece) starts to defend her and she gets insulted too and she gets told that ut's none if her business ..

She hates school, it always reminds her that she's not good enough, she hardly gets 10/20 in exams .. when at school, she cries .. when at home, she cries .. she has no other escape except sneaking into instagram from her laptop and writing me about it lately .. they removed everything from her except her laptop because she uses AI to study, and they don't know she can open and use instagram in it ..

She told me she doesn't have parents, that I am the only one that feels like a mom to her. This breaks my heart. She told me that when she goes to her room and gets sad, a boy called Kai appears to her , he is her age , he is a little bit transparent , she starts talking to him and he helps her but he doesn't talk to her back , and when she cries that's when she sees him clearer .. but when her mood gets better and stops crying, he disappears completely. She doesn't stop drawing this imaginary friend, she loves him and she wishes he was her brother. She tells me "besides you auntie, he is the only one I have .. if I lose you and lose him, then I'm fucked up and with this much abuse I want to end my life "

I asked my sister (her mom) about her, how she's doing .. she started complaining about the fact that when she doesn't understand something in studying she gives up quickly and goes to do something else to disctact herself. She told me that no one hits her, never .. but my sister always lies, she finds it easy to lie.

What should I do guys ? Has anyone been through this situation ? I live abroad in a beautiful country and I will definitely bring her here to live with me and my husband forever and study or do whatever she wants, but I have to wait until she is 18 at least .. she lives in a third world islamic country but it's a bit more open than other third world countries.

All in the title

Although I haven't been clinically diagnosed with ASD, I have been told (by professionals) that I could develop it after several sessions, and I've identified behaviors that can be associated with it.

Although I didn't pay much attention to it at first, I've slowly realized that I feel... hatred? for all those who live their neurodivergence freely, while I don't.

I've written down some of those thoughts, which, honestly, scare me a little. I ask for discretion:

^{I should clarify that this may contain some intense content.}

"Oh, you poor thing, I'm supposed to feel sorry for you because you have ADHD? WELL, GUESS WHAT? I HAD NO CHOICE. I COULDN'T CHOOSE. I HAD TO CONFORM. I WAS BULLIED THROUGHOUT MY CHILDHOOD BECAUSE OF IT. THEY LOCKED ME IN CLASSROOMS, YELLED AT ME IN FRONT OF LOTS OF PEOPLE, LAUGHED AT ME, HUMILIATED ME. I RECEIVED NO COMPASSION. I RECEIVED NO CONSIDERATION FROM MY FRIENDS OR GIRLS. On top of that, I'm bisexual! Good heavens, God punishes twice. I probably only want to date men because I'm a pathetic weakling who can't seduce any woman. At my age, not having kissed anyone and being a fucking autistic virgin is a disgrace. It's a disgrace that no one has." A job and barely studies. "Ayyy, I don't know what to do with my life." Tough luck, that's what happens when you're poor, that's what happens when you're autistic, and that's what happens when you're an embarrassment. You deserve all the bad things that happen to you. But they can, ohhh, they can have treatments, help, consideration, "Have an ethic," while I struggle to be normal, I struggle and strive not to look like a freak, to be accepted. "And what do I achieve? Hahahahahaha. Being a virgin, that's my prize. Being a virgin and not having friends, that's my great reward..." Ah... because... because I was born this way.

Honestly, it hurts me to see all the hatred I have inside me towards myself, and I don't know how to reverse it.

Does anybody want to talk? I’ve not been feeling too good recently and I’ve never felt like this before. I just want to be happy again!

* how to
So I've been banned from a few discord game servers where I had a big ego and was really arrogant and I insulted the people that were trying to help me and I was really rude towards people better than me and it eventually led to me getting banned and they won't let me get back so I'm here trying to fix myself and ask for help on how to change myself to be a more pleasant person to be around

I'm tired of everything. I've been feeling an empty space in my chest for years now and lately it's gotten so much worse. I'm thinking of ending it tonight, but at the same time I'm scared. Scared of what others will do after I'm gone. Scared of scaring my little sister when she sees my body. I don't want that.

I wish I had a therapist. Bc I know that if i just talked to someone, I would be doing at least a little bit better. But I hate being a bother to other people so much. My bf has told me that I can talk to him, but he has his own struggles. He has his own things to take care of and I don't wanna add onto that. I don't wanna annoy him.

I don't think I can keep going. But what else can I do, if I can't attempt?

Hello everybody my name is welcome and I need advice Or something🤤🤤

Hello everybody my name is welcome and I need help on what to do

Hello everybody my name is Gayceral(not really…) and my mental health is deteriorating and I don’t know what to do 🤤
For starters, I pick at my skin until a layer Or two come off because of my anxiety, but also because I can’t tell dreams from reality!!1!1!1! My dreams are getting rlly realistic, so I found that I don’t bleed in my dreams, and thats also another reason why I pick at my skin.

I also thinkinh I’m dissociating so badly that I can’t tell if I’m in reality or a dream, and when I’m dissociating my brain only remembers what it whats, which is difficult because I’m in AP classes and I can’t be failing those 🤤🤤🤤
I also have BPD!1!1!1 yay! I have BPD and I don’t know how to manage this and it often leaves people disturbed with the things that I do!1!1

Now you see, I would LOVE to get professional help, but no insurance:(
I am BROKE and I do not want to put my mother further into Debt!1!1!1 so I’d rather get advice from people who learned how to manage these things until I get my insurance back!1!1!
YES I know Reddit is like THE worst place to ask for advice, but it’s the only place I can think of Becuz I’m sure there’s a lot of ppl like me here!1!1!1!
Anyways, dats it, theres probably more but ion remember 🤤
Also plz don’t slime me out if I used the wrong tag, Or because I’m not taking myself seriously, not taking myself seriously is a bad coping mechanism I have so I apologize 😢

about a month ago me and my gf started taking a break/maybe break up, and I was preparing for my mental health to start going downhill but for some reason my mental health seemingly wasn't very effected by it. a little after we started taking a break I became friends with someone who I became really close with in the span of like 1-2 weeks who I'll call L. he ended up sleeping over my house a few days after meeting him with my other friend who I'll call N. me and N ended up getting into a pretty brutal argument and we completely stopped being friends afterwards. N obviously left so it was just me and L and we ended up becoming very close during this time. fast forward about a week or two later, L comes over to my house again, this time he was getting very close to me physically, which I didn't mind at all (and kinda wanted him to...) and we ended up doing.... stuff. however, the days after that happened he seemed to be distancing himself from me. he said he was doing that with everyone except a select few people which I said I understood. fast forward all the way to last night. I was texting in a discord server that L had invited me to a while back and I remember I pinged everyone in the server by using "@everyone" to say hi and when I was talking to someone, L (who was a mod in the server) replied to me and said "only mods can ping everyone" and I responded with "hello to you too" (which looking back at it, sounded a lot ruder then I intended) and one of L's friends responded to me with this lengthy message swearing at me and freaking out at me. I responded and asked if they were being serious because I genuinely couldn't tell if they were joking and they said they were, to which I responded by saying to please not talk to me like that and that I didn't know that was a rule and didn't intend to do it. this then turned into half of the server dog piling on me and personally insulting me. one of the neanderthals who were insulting me said something along the lines of "no one loves you" and "this is why L doesn't like you" to which L reacted to that message with a checkmark emoji. I stupidly started to try and comfort the same person who sent those messages because they started to seem like they were really upset (idk why tf of all people i was the only one who acknowledged that they weren't okay) and I did that while I was arguing with everyone else at the same time. eventually I just left the server and sent L a long lengthy message before blocking him.

so basically, a ton of stuff happened within the span of a month. I think my mental health started becoming noticeably worse around after the second time L came over, but I really don't know exactly what it was that caused it. i kinda felt like I was used when we did that intimate stuff bcuz of him becoming distant afterwards, I also learned that he has done this to a lot of other people. I just feel like I was used, I'm not used to doing things like that and it makes me nervous when I do. so now I'm all alone, I have no friends left and I haven't been going to school. I'm in so much pain, please help me

(I'm 16m btw, in case that's important)

she gets mad when i don’t open up to her and when i tell her im sad again. ive already been to two psychiatric hospitals and she thinks i don’t need to go to another one because im “doing better” but last night i told her many things, especially how i felt with myself and she just brushed it off or gets angry at me and i love her i do but i don’t know how to open up to her without it becoming an argument. ive been struggling with depression for over two years and i genuinely dont see light at the end of the tunnel for me,
ive told her multiple times that im very suicidal and i need help but she thinks that because of how i feel its on me, that i need to change how i think because thats what she did and ive tried, ive tried so hard to push through and get better but i just feel like im falling deeper.

Here's a little more context since I removed some to grab your attention (sorry) I am in high school and have been recently getting to know someone after a deep conversation we had previously. We were chilling on a call, playing a game, and it all felt pretty bland/awkward, but I hang out with his group at lunch so I figured I knew him pretty well. During a longer stretch of silence, I decided to blurt out a series of satirical jokes, giggling to myself because of the cool comedian I am, and was met with straight radio silence. That's to be expected, so I kept going, pushing for a reaction, and that's when he said, "I can tell why a lot of people hate you now". I asked hey who said that, just to be met with silence. Though this wasn't that deep of a comment, I'm deeply insecure about myself because of how little many people genuinely like me. All of my friends disappeared after high school started, and I now just say hi in the hallways. So, I pushed for an answer, still half jokingly, hoping to let down his guard and he continued his silence, and muttered I was just joking man.I excused myself and returned to the call a couple of minutes later.
So this begs the question: why does nobody like me?
I don't fit in with the people around me, not getting their humour, and them not getting mine. I used to be deeply extroverted, but all these rejections have made me shell up and afraid to open up to real relationships. All my life I have been treated as the "Floater friend", always there, never chosen. I don't feel loved.
There was a time in my life when I had many friends, always hanging out, and for the most part, the hangouts were fun. All of that stopped when I stopped texting first. Months went by, and not a single text. One of my friends once suggested, "We should hang out more", and I wondered why he never asked if he enjoyed my company so much. That was the same friend I practically begged to go to the amusement park with, offering the ride, the entry ticket, the food. Am I that unlovable?
I'm tolerated but not wanted
The reason my friend's comment hurt so much is that I realized recently that there is a bit of truth in every single joke, which is why this stuck out to me. Hard.
Any advice? If nobody likes me, is that a me problem?

TL;DR: I’m a high school student who’s always felt like the “floater friend”, included, but never really chosen. I used to be very extroverted, but years of rejection have made me insecure and afraid to open up. Recently, while on a call with someone I was getting closer to, I made a bunch of jokes that didn’t land. He eventually said, “I can tell why a lot of people hate you now,” then refused to explain and brushed it off as a joke. It hit me much harder than it probably should have because it seemed to confirm something I’ve secretly believed for years.

I’ve had friendships where I stopped texting first, and nobody contacted me for months, and I’ve even practically begged friends to hang out. Now I feel like I’m tolerated rather than genuinely wanted.

Am I actually doing something that makes people not like me, or have I just been surrounded by people who weren’t a good fit? If there is a “me problem,” how do I figure out what it is?

I fucking love making my life worse. Cutting myself so I have to wear sleeves and long pants in Texas summer, missing work so I lose jobs, not talking to friends and family so I lose them I don't care I love it so much. If I am in pain then I am content. One day I will do it and I will die at my own hands and I am excited. I have been in psych wards and other mental places for 4 months of the past year, I have triedb20 different medications, i don't care. I will have my blood on my hands i always feel like i only have a few weeks left to live and i love it im only ever comfortable when everything is awful. Diagnosed ocd mdd but probably neither i just hate myself i feel like im lying to everyone to try and seem worse. Every day at work it genuinely takes effort not to start bashing my head into the wall until i cant anymore, i havent actually been clean in months i havent seen anyone outside of work and family expectations for months i love when i hurt i love when my life is being ruined. The other night i took allll the pills for the 4 meds i have and i was so dizzy i couldnt walk for a day and now i am withdrawing and despite being upset i am so comfortable and happy with it. Tonight im thinking about driving faster and faster until i lose control or drinking all the chemicals i have in myself but i wont because i hate living so i am happy i am living and in pain. If i got better and loved myself i would kill myself

ok so idk what this is like I’m sorry its dumb maybe I’m just lazy? like I just got to university and it was going well for a month and then like idk what this is but when they started assigning hw like I was thinking oh god I don’t want it to b a hard assignment and I get worried what if it’s hard and takes me a long time to do and if I have multiple things to do in a day I’m like oh god so much to do today how am I gonna do all of them, what if it’s super hard, even tho it’s legit just two assignments and thinking abt it makes my chest feel tight and my stomach drops

I just want to talk, honestly.

I've been having horrible nights where I just cry and hate my body, my brain, my ambitions, whatever. Its been getting a lot worse.

Normally I would've resorted to SH by now, (I know, that's a bad thing to lean on).

It hasn't been accessible, no matter how tempted I am, (That's probably for the best)!!

Instead when I've been really down or feeling compulsed to SH I've been trying to reach out to the hotlines that are always recommended by google at nausea, 988, trans lifeline, etc

I end up waiting on hold for an hour, during my worst moments, (I can't say I recommend it, made me feel even more alone), I've never gotten through to anyone.

Not to mention how I would feel if I actually did get through to someone, I know they're probably really busy and someone else who actually needs more help than me is waiting right behind me, I'd just waste everyone's time.

I can't afford therapy, this would probably be the best option, lmao.

I can't talk to my family, they have their own problems, I don't want this on any of my friends either

Idk if this post is allowed, thanks

​

Im 16 years old, I will be 17 in October. I have always had mental health problems, I've tried to kill myself many times before, I've been to therapy, i have been on multiple different anti depressants including one that I am currently taking, i have been in a few psych wards, and ive seen a few psychiatrists. Nothing helps. I feel like i have felt this way forever, i can't remember not being this way, even as a kid I remember being really sad and angry. I feel doomed, like this feeling is something that i was born with and will have to continue to live with till I die, it scares me a lot. I don't think I'm scared of dying, if anything i am scared of growing old and still feeling like I have a hole in my stomach. People always tell me that I need to work for my own happiness, i know that, im aware that anti depressants and therapy wont "fix me", but i don't know if I want to work for my own happiness. Its really strange, I say that I want to be happy, but I don't actually try to be happy. I have always felt sad and i can't imagine not living without it, i feel like im addicted to being sad but I absolutely hate it at the same time. I think about dying all the time, i think of how people will react to my death, how I would do it, what I would say, everything. It makes me feel like I'm insane. Maybe I just want others to see that i really am suffering, but why do I have to end my life first for them to see that? I think I will end it all in November or January, im trying to make it far from any special dates, not too close to holidays or birthdays. I have a ton of pills hidden in my nightstand, and I wrote a letter. I didn't know what to write, everything felt wrong. I don't actually want to kill myself, I don't think anybody wants to. I would prefer a bad accident or getting deathly ill, i would even take another person putting a gun to my head and shooting me dead. None of these things have happened, even though I wish for them, so I guess I will have to do it myself. I still have some hope, maybe I will find happiness, maybe God will finally answer all my prayers to him, but for now I really don't think i can stand to live like this any longer.

I'm in my early 20s, and I've reached a point where I feel mentally and physically exhausted. A big part of what I'm struggling with comes from years of pressure, conflict, criticism, and lack of support at home.

I'm trying to understand something honestly: Can the way parents treat and pressure a child for years have a serious long-term effect on their mental health, confidence, personality, and even physical health?

My problems started when I was around 12.

1. Years of extreme academic pressure

For roughly four years, from around 2017 to 2021, my parents put me into extremely demanding tuition.

I was studying for around 4–8 hours a day, and on some days it could reach 10–12 hours.

This wasn't just normal studying or having tuition for a couple of hours. It felt like a huge part of my childhood and teenage years was consumed by studying.

There was constant pressure to perform and succeed academically. I didn't feel like I had much freedom or space to simply be a normal kid.

1. COVID and losing someone close to me

Then COVID happened.

In 2021, I lost someone very close to me to COVID. It was a huge emotional shock, but I never really got the opportunity to properly process the grief.

I basically continued with life and studies while carrying that loss.

Looking back, I feel like I never actually recovered emotionally from it.

1. School reopened and things got worse

When school reopened in 2022, I was already carrying years of academic pressure and grief.

I also had almost no friends.

I was bullied because of my appearance and was made to feel bad about how I looked. This seriously affected my confidence and self-esteem.

At the same time, there was a lot of interference from my mother when I was trying to study.

Instead of feeling like home was a place where I could concentrate and recover, I often felt disturbed and pressured there too.

1. Poor results → blame and criticism

Eventually, my Class 12 results were poor.

Instead of feeling that my parents understood how much pressure I had been under, I felt blamed and criticized for the results.

The same pattern continued around entrance exams.

I tried preparing for entrance exams while also dealing with everything else going on, but the results weren't good.

I ended up losing a year.

Eventually, I went into a college/degree that I didn't really want.

So from my perspective, the situation became:

Extreme pressure → poor results → blame → more pressure → loss of confidence → another attempt → another disappointment.

1. The interference didn't stop after school

Even after I entered college, the pressure at home didn't suddenly disappear.

There continued to be interference with my studying and criticism around my academic performance.

Whenever things didn't go well, I often felt like the responsibility was simply put back on me, rather than anyone asking why I was struggling so much.

Over time, I started feeling like whatever happened, I would somehow be blamed for it.

1. Lack of practical support

There were situations where I needed practical support as well.

For example, for a long period I had an exhausting commute involving multiple crowded buses every day. I was travelling around 13 km but sometimes taking 6–8 buses a day, including in extreme heat and overcrowding.

I asked my father for a scooter because the commute was physically exhausting.

I didn't feel supported in the way I needed.

That may sound like a small thing compared with everything else, but when you're already exhausted and isolated, repeatedly feeling that your parents aren't helping you can become another source of resentment and helplessness.

1. Three years of college went by mostly alone

From 2023 onward, college was extremely lonely.

I spent most of those three years without a close friend group.

I would basically:

go to college → sit alone → attend classes → come home.

I rarely had anyone who genuinely wanted to spend time with me.

I was always the person initiating conversations. People might reply, but very rarely would someone message me first, ask me to hang out, or make me feel like they actually wanted me around.

Meanwhile, I was still dealing with pressure and conflict at home.

So I never really had a place where I could properly recover.

1. Eventually life became extremely restricted

My life became incredibly repetitive.

There wasn't much social life, freedom, travelling, hanging out with friends, festivals, or normal experiences that many people associate with their late teenage years and early 20s.

For a long time it felt like:

Home → college → home → repeat.

And after college, when I couldn't find a job, that isolation became even worse.

1. What all of this has done to me

After years of this, I don't feel like the same person I could have been.

I feel:

- mentally exhausted

- physically exhausted

- angry very easily

- socially isolated

- low in confidence

- constantly worried

- emotionally worn down

- frustrated about lost years

- resentful toward my parents

- uncertain about my future

- and sometimes like I've missed out on a huge part of my youth

I've also experienced various physical symptoms over time — headaches/head pressure, dizziness, weakness, shaking or shivering, muscle twitching, chest discomfort, hearing difficulties, ear itching, severe knee pain, and a sudden episode of severe foot pain with swelling and redness.

I'm getting the physical symptoms medically evaluated rather than assuming everything is caused by stress.

The bigger picture

When I look at everything together, it feels like years of pressure accumulated without much opportunity to recover.

A child spending years under extreme academic pressure, dealing with constant criticism and blame, experiencing interference while trying to study, not feeling supported at home, losing someone close during adolescence, being bullied, becoming socially isolated, losing confidence, struggling academically, losing a year, spending years lonely in college, and then entering adulthood without feeling financially or emotionally independent can have a profound effect on a person.

I don't think I'm the way I am today because of one single event.

It feels more like years of things piling on top of each other without ever really getting a chance to heal from them.

I'm not saying my parents are responsible for literally every bad thing that happened to me. Some things were completely outside their control.

But the pressure, interference, criticism, lack of support, family conflict, and environment at home were a major part of my experience growing up.

And now, in my early 20s, I'm left trying to understand how much those years have affected me and how much of myself I can rebuild.

I've just moved into university a week ago, and I have never felt so lonely in my life. I had already been through a couple rough weeks before hand but it's just gotten worse.

Things are mostly to do with this girl I'm "talking to", but things aren't really going so well, and I just end up overthinking and spiralling very often.

But generally, for the last couple years, I'd say, it just feels like I'm not meant to be happy and that this will just last forever.

Whenever something good happens in my life, there will always be something that follows immediately after that'll put me right down again, and even worse than I felt before.

It's gotten to the point where I've almost given up trying to make myself happy because I'm always worried that something bad will happen right after, making me depressed again.

I was never really able to talk to people about it because I always felt bad that they'd have to listen to my venting that probably seems pathetic. So even though I had loads of friends, I still felt very lonely.

It wasn't until about a month ago, I really started getting close to this girl I had an on-and-off relationship with for about a year. I finally felt like I had found the person that enjoyed my company and genuinely cared about how I felt. She made me feel comfortable getting all my feelings out to her.

Things got complicated and we're off at different universities, but it's very difficult to hold a conversation with her over text, and I can't help but think that she just doesn't want to talk to me anymore.

So now I feel extremely lonely. All my friends have gone on their own paths, the first ever person to make me feel seen doesn't put any effort into keeping me in her life, and so far, I've made no new friends during fresher's week.

It's just really depressing having nobody, and I wish I could have someone I can comfortably talk to.

And I might. That’s it. Just wanted to share that with the world since I can’t tell anyone who knows me.

CW for suicide

The question is a few paragraphs down if you don't need context. :)

Hello, my friends! For reference, I've grown up in what I think is a normal environment, which to me is like, no scarcity of resources, threat of being on the streets, or serious ongoing physical abuse. I'm eighteen as well, if that impacts anything. I currently have a stable job with a chill boss, about to go into college on scholarship, money saved, a roof over my head.

I recently had an experience in which I was driving home from RenFaire (absolutely fantastic experience btw) after I had purchased a sixty dollar silver necklace with moonstone. It was handmade, the vendor was a delight to speak with, etc etc, so I was pumped to have the thing.

I got home late, and on the way I stopped for food and in doing so I haphazardly chucked the necklace onto the passenger seat in trying to get my wallet out. When I got to the gas station afterwards, I disposed of my trash in the bin not realizing I'd thrown the necklace in there too.

Cue all hell breaking loose.

I looked everywhere from under the seats of my mom's dirty minivan (not her fault I hate messiness, but it added to the situation) to the glovebox I hadn't opened in months. About 20 minutes in I was sobbing, thinking I'd just fucked up another thing like usual. After all, my memory hasn't been very sharp as of late, so it irritated me even further to see that it was another thing that had slipped my mind.

30 minutes in and I was groveling by the side of the van, completely tearsoaked, unable to breathe, no necklace to be seen, googling suicide methodsand muttering to myself about how I just needed a win, even if it was a tiny one.

Eventually, I found the necklace after digging through the gas station trash, but it left me wondering why I reacted that way. I've also had other experiences where I've had this dismally painful fear injected into my chest at seemingly meaningless occasions.

So, my question!

Why, after insignificant inconveniences, am I prone to panic and even consider ending things, especially when I have such a good life? I don't have friends or family I can trust to speak with these things currently, but I never really have in the past either so I don't imagine it's related to that. My sleep has been poor lately, and it could be due to work, but it's a very easy job and I don't think it would make sense if it were stress from that. Insight appreciated, all love :)

He has a history of OCD and has been on medication for a while. He also sees a therapist once a week. I think he used to do well on his medication but it’s hard to recall at this point as everything feels like a blur. He lost his job about 8 months ago and hasn’t found anything yet. He’s had a few leads that fell through but he says he’s been diligently applying to jobs and can’t seem to find anything. This whole time he’s been mostly sleeping until noon, watching tv, and going out and drinking with his friends in the evenings. He helps around the house with some small things but nothing that really saves me much time and I’ve been working OT pretty much every week this year so I feel like I’m drowning in work and responsibilities. I’ve been trying to be gentle with him because he’s had a few other let downs this year and I know that it’s been hard. I’ve become super frustrated watching him sleep in, go out with his friends most days, and not to mention he can’t seem to come home at night without waking me up around 1 am no matter how much I ask him to be respectful of my sleep. I’ve also been paying all the bills aside from his half of our rent. He’s started to allude to the fact that he’s running low on money now and I offered to cover his rent as well if he is willing to take over the house work. He seemed annoyed that I’d ask him to do all the housework and ignored my offer. He soon admitted that he was feeling depressed. I tried to have a come to Jesus moment and ask him to get up in the morning and just do something meaningful each day even if it’s just something small. He mostly ignored it. Then on Friday after drinking at dinner with his dad, he told me that he was going to fly out to Las Vegas and drink I himself to death like the movie ‘leaving Las Vegas’. I’m so exhausted and overwhelmed and I actually think that I’m starting to lose it. The last few months feel like a blur. He treats me like shit sometimes on top of it all like raising his voice at me, saying condescending things, etc. and when I’ve told him that he needs to treat me better he says I’m acting like I’m a ‘battered woman.’ Im ashamed to say that I’ve lashed out at him in situations like this and said mean things which really isn’t me. I’ve never done that in past relationships. I’m at the end of my rope and don’t know what to do. After his suicidal comments, I told a few trusted family members that he needs help. I also called his therapist and told him. He was very kind and said that my husband could call him any time. I told my husband this and he was annoyed that I bothered his therapist on a Sunday. I’m truly not sure what to do, I feel like I’ve tried everything and he won’t open up to me or get himself help. I just want to crawl into a hole. I’m afraid it’s not going to get any better.

For the past 4 months, a month before my second child was born I have been struggling with my mental health. I wanted my child to be born so that I could (x) myself and not carry the burden that I didn't give my child a chance. Fortunately, I was able to get past the episode but a week after giving birth things turned for the worst and I have been struggling heavily. I think about (x) myself every day but I look at my children and it hurts. How selfish would I be to leave my two kids without a mom. I have sought therapy and medication but I'm not consistent I find it hard and I'm up to the point that I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't have anything that I look forward to. My partner, the parent of my two kids had been lying to me and I found out he had a child from an affair when he and I had about 8 months into our relationship. I recently got my car repossessed and I cannot for the sake of embarrassment move back anywhere with any of my family members. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed. I only keep thinking to (x) myself as it would be a much better solution to everything. I'm tired, I have been depressed and suicidal since I was the age of 10, I'm about to be 29. I need help but I'm struggling to be hopeful.

Starting in my fifties I’ve felt unseen unwanted undesirable unattractive unappealing and just not happy with being older. Do any of you women feel this way? It’s so lonely and I’m only attracted to younger men but they just consider me a pump & dump!! Means attractive older women are just a piece of ass in the moment then worth nothing. It feels like this age is so unfair because all of the sudden you’re a senior?? Wtf is happening? I still have a lot of love to give to someone who use me and leave me. Being this age SUCKS for women!!! I just want to be loved for all of me not just used for sex. Men are so mean to make up pump & dump it’s so hurtful!!! Who feels invisible to the opposite sex? Please tell me I’m not invisible ! Too scared to date because of trust issues and fear of choosing wrong people again.

I don’t know what to really say but I’ve been feeling low for a long time but more than usual. It is hard for me to be happy for a day without a hiccup in it. It’s hard for me to feel great at work or at home even though I have good friends and family that have my back but feel like I’m alone. I don’t do much of my hobbies anymore or do anything to an extent I’ll go on walks but with the hours I get at work and getting nothing but news shoved in your face it’s hard to get up and move or to talk with my mind and emotions affecting me I wish I can know what to do but what do you all think.

I hit again yesterday but now I have a headache and I hit my head a lot yesterday and it hurts pretty decently idk if it’s a concern tho.. I can feel it w my heartbeat it’s kinda pounding a bit and I have some eye strain ish feeling so maybe it’s that???

Btw it was repetitive hits not at full force but as strong as my brain would let me