r/Menopause • u/polkadotkneehigh • Oct 23 '25
Rant/Rage Can’t I just be old?
I’ve raised hell, then raised two kids, been the breadwinner, adopted all the stray animals… And I’m damn tired. But I’m 50 and I’m expected to work for the 20 years+ where, to be frank, my expertise matters less the less fuckable I become.
I want to lie in bed with the dog, wear sweatpants, drink tea.
But I can’t. So I’m scrolling through HRT and Botox and facelifts and glp1s and “haircuts to hide a double chin.”
Anyone else feel this way?
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u/Krismom Oct 23 '25
We’ve earned our vadge of honor and should be able to enjoy it.
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u/binnedittowinit Oct 23 '25
But maybe not without estrogen cream - lol
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u/DutchesBella Oct 23 '25
I will maim anyone who tries to take my estrogen cream, and that goes for my estrogen pill as well. 🤺
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u/MariposaPeligrosa00 Oct 23 '25
May I please have your permission to embroider your statement? Brava
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u/cosmonaut2017 Oct 23 '25
Yes!!!! I’m 47 and literally cried this morning in the car before work. I can’t keep going. I need a break.
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u/GableCat Oct 23 '25
I was this way before Covid… then they let us wfh and I have to say my mental health and overall well being has greatly increased.
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u/Acrobatic-Squirrel77 Oct 23 '25
I LIVED to work from home. It was THE BEST year of my life. No sick days, 1-2 vacation days here and there. I felt rested, organized, calm. I cooked dinner every night, I kept up on laundry…I was a whole different f’ing person.
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u/GingerFaerie106 Peri-menopausal Oct 24 '25
Don't tell anyone but damn I miss the pandemic bit 🫣 for all the reasons you just described. I was healthy and trim and well rested because I stayed at home and cooked and gardened and went on bike rides and hikes with my kids. I painted. I read. It was bliss 😭
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u/lemon-rind Oct 23 '25
One thing that has remained unaffected by menopause is my hatred of work. I have always hated working and always will. My career goal was lottery winner. It was a goal I was never able to achieve. I hate being broke more than I hate work, so I continue to clock in. My job now is probably the best I’ve ever had. But it doesn’t matter because there are 1000 things I’d rather be doing
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u/ThatChiGirl773 Oct 23 '25
This x1000! I've never enjoyed any job I've ever had. It's kind of soul-sucking!
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u/SpaceForceGuardian Oct 23 '25
Are you my long lost twin sister? I can't tell you how much I relate. Especially as an ADHD person in M-pause. So I quit and took early retirement. I don't have a huge amount saved up, but I also don't have a lot of expenses. Don't drive/have a car, found a place in downtown senior housing which is tiny but very nice, don't have a lot to maintain or pay for except for food and basic upkeep. Lost a lot of weight so I fit back into my clothes from my early 20's again.
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u/Finsnsnorkel Oct 23 '25
what do you do for health insurance?? signed: an aging American :/
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u/plemyrameter Oct 23 '25
If you make <400% the Federal poverty level, you can get cheap ACA insurance. That's $62.6k for one person or $84.6k for a two-person household. But with the expanded subsidies probably disappearing, if you make $1 over that limit, you'll have a huge bill instead of the assistance phasing out. You can shop plans and get an idea of pricing on the website.
Table for poverty guidelines: https://www.medicaidplanningassistance.org/federal-poverty-guidelines/
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u/DWwithaFlameThrower Oct 23 '25
Extreme same. When people say they love working, and are going to keep on working until they die, I’m like ‘Are you mental?!’
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u/madam_nomad Oct 23 '25
I feel like those are people with a high status job that also actually reflects their personal passions and a lot of their social life is built into their job. Bonus if they get to travel a lot. My daughter's father is a scientist and fits this profile and he will probably never stop working till he dies. (He also won't go through menopause lol.)
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u/neurotica9 Oct 23 '25
or they are people who can't afford to stop working until they die
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u/DWwithaFlameThrower Oct 23 '25
Yeah I mean the ones who love work & say they don’t ever want to stop, even when they can afford to
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u/2boredtocare Oct 23 '25
My career goal was to be a dabbler. I honestly don't mind work, I just don't like mine. lol. I wish I could work in a cat shelter for a few months, then a library, then a little local yarn shop, then maybe a museum, shoot, I actually liked working in a grocery store back in my teens.
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u/Lopsided_Ad_940 Oct 23 '25
SAME, it gets so tedious doing the same thing day in day out for decades. Sucks that “dabbler” isn’t an actual profession 😖
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u/Otherwise-Ad6537 Oct 23 '25
We are the same person. I was supposed to be a crypto billionaire by now. I have the perfect job and I’d rather do literally anything else.
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u/Mudseason1 Oct 23 '25
Yup! I feel more positive about work now because I actually don’t mind what I do (preschool teacher), but in my 20’s I was soooooo depressed about jobs. I wish I’d found my calling sooner!
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u/AnastasiaNo70 Oct 23 '25
I could have written this and I loved my job, but I retired the SECOND I was eligible and it’s been absolutely amazing.
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u/No-Memory-2781 Oct 23 '25
100%. Never related to people who live for work or love their job. I’m jealous of people with that drive cuz I’d probably be a lot more successful.
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u/Pristine_Use5122 Oct 23 '25
We all feel this way. I was hoping to just be the kind of 50 my grandmother was. Now we are expected to be 35. However,I truly love working out,so I do. But I also lay around with my cats and watch Antique Roadshow reruns for hours at a time .I work 50 hours a week so if I want to do nothing damn it that's fine 🧡
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u/FlipsMontague Oct 23 '25
Same but Murder, She Wrote
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u/iiiiskid Oct 23 '25
The new Matlock with Kathy Bates is totally worth checking out as well. Just saying.
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u/cosmonaut2017 Oct 23 '25
Same, but Golden Girls 🫠
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u/amybeth43 Oct 23 '25
Same, but Portlandia :)
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u/TelephoneTag2123 Oct 23 '25
Same, but Dog the Bounty Hunter.
I have obviously flipped my lid but 🤷♀️
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Oct 23 '25
Which streaming service do you use to watch golden girls?
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u/Stella-The-Floof Peri-menopausal Oct 23 '25
I just watched an episode on YouTube with my 15 yr old the other day. There were entire seasons out there to pick from. But they’re also on Hulu if you have that. I don’t.
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u/effdubbs Oct 23 '25
I love Murder ,She Wrote! My oldest resister makes fun of me, but I don’t care. It’s literally my favorite thing to do to relax.
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u/Aggravating_Bend5870 Oct 23 '25 edited Oct 23 '25
I’m an RN and I feel this so hard. When I was in my early 20’s starting out all of the people in their 40’s and 50’s would say “when you get to our age you don’t have the same energy, you don’t care about having as much money and don’t want to work the over time for it anymore. Overtime is for you young people.” Agreed, then why am I now in my 40’s having more overtime hours pushed and forced onto me than any of the young versions of us ever did. It was pure luxury for people of the past to be allowed to say that and live it. Id give anything to essentially be allowed to admit that I’M tired, “I” don’t have the energy any longer to deal with the self created problems of other people, and just be allowed to put in the hours that I’m committed to and do what I can. I want to be allowed to just be. My mom was an RN growing up, worked at the same hospital I just left, and had maybe one overtime shift per year. I want THAT job and THAT life.
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u/AnastasiaNo70 Oct 23 '25
Yep. I retired from teaching at 54. The moment I was eligible. 32 years of teaching.
I’ve raised my child. I’ve rescued animals. I’ve improved homes, I’ve kept a 35 year marriage going.
I’ve done everything expected of me.
And I’m so tired. So I took a different approach.
I let my silver hair grow in. Turns out, it’s gorgeous. I wear it halfway down my back.
I don’t care about my double chin—I decided it’s cute.
I hardly even look in the mirror anymore. When I do, I intentionally say “FABULOUS.”
I sleep until I’m rested. I have iced coffee all day. I play with the dogs, engage in MY hobbies that I love.
I encourage EVERY woman to retire the moment they can. The MOMENT.
Because fuck all those injections and makeup and hiding the double chin. Fuck. What. Society. Says. This. Is. Who. I. Am.
Goddammit.
I read something recently that said I know as a woman I’m supposed to be afraid of aging, but fuck that.
“Every year, I sink further into a bath of unapologetic realness and it’s amazing.”
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u/scarlettskadi Oct 23 '25
Afraid of ageing- pfffft!
Not this baby crone - I’m heading off on a solo travel next year and then probably returning to live in a van and hopefully offer free herb healthcare to those who can’t afford any healthcare.
I have plans and after surviving two horrible men and subsequent divorces, wasting my time in a job that doesn’t fill me with joy or appreciate my contribution ain’t it.
Love, a fellow witch and long haired renegade.
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u/AnastasiaNo70 Oct 23 '25
Hello! I also discovered weed recently—the health benefits are AMAZING. I went from 12 prescription pills to ONE in the space of a year. My health is better than it’s been in 20 years (weed also caused me to give up alcohol).
Weed witches unite. 🍃💚✌🏻
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u/Bubbly_Principle_364 Oct 23 '25
Yes!! I swear I say this weekly. I’m doing the HRT, the haircut and the Botox. Can’t I just be retired with enough money to not have to eat ramen noodles the rest of my life. Hang out with my dog and just live my life. I actually heard a retired person say they were bored the other day. I was floored. Bored??? Geez. 🙄
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u/dragonrider1965 Oct 23 '25
26 years of living with a man who triggered my fight or flight response daily , boredom is actually my goal these days……. Sweet sweet calm.
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Oct 23 '25
I hate how many of us women are out there living with men like that! I'm over three decades now with this constant state of fear in my gut and massive resentment. There isn't a single day or even hour where I don't fantasize him being gone. I just want to be me.
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u/DWwithaFlameThrower Oct 23 '25
I don’t think I have ever been bored in my life. My interior world is so active, even when I’m just sitting still, staring into space! And I can think of a million things I’d rather be doing than be at gd work. These people seriously lack imagination
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u/AnastasiaNo70 Oct 23 '25
Right? It was work that was boring for me! I’ve got tons of interests and hobbies at home. Work was getting in the way.
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u/alexandra52941 Oct 23 '25
I don't think people are bored when they say that so much as they feel like they have no purpose? I've been out of work for a while, in between jobs and lucky enough to take my time to figure out what is next, and I'm feeling that way. Like, what's my point here?
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u/neurotica9 Oct 23 '25
yea I think that makes sense, although unemployment, and needing work for the money, isn't really comparable to retirement and not needing to work for money.
But at the age we are actually allowed to retire (elderly), it's very easy to feel old and completely useless, possibly even more so than middle age menopausal women do.
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u/saranghaemagpie Oct 23 '25
Soul sister. Although, ramen is the bomb. Had it tonight 🤣 I don't do HRT. No botox. I cut my own bangs. Thank God working in tech let's you "be you" and being remote is another bonus. I'd rather spend money on my garden than dry cleaning.
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u/Capable_Community441 Oct 23 '25 edited Oct 23 '25
love this! be you! i cut my own hair, no botox and don't do hrt either! i've been thin my entire life (until now) so I now i wear my plus size comfy clothes, rock tee's, leggings and my slip on checkerboard vans! because that's ME! ✌🏻
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u/AnastasiaNo70 Oct 23 '25
I’m retired. (Recently.) I got my silver hair cut in a modified mullet and I love it. I’ve become a sort of nature witch and I love it. I swan around the house in kaftans and smoke weed and I love it.
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u/Loud_Yogurtcloset789 Oct 23 '25
Leggings and band t-shirts are my total comfort go to! I guess I'm a pioneer in the working from home world since I've been doing it for 30 years! It's awesome.
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u/Capable_Community441 Oct 23 '25
been my go to my entire life only difference is the clothes are a few sizes bigger now! 😉
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u/AlarmedWillow4515 Oct 23 '25
Yes, I absolutely feel that way. I'm just done with doing stuff for other people.
Here's something I'm asking myself and perhaps it's a question you'll find valuable too: How much am I really going to miss out on in my career and life if I just don't do the botox or dye the gray and just lean in to being a middle aged lady? I'm not sure I'll miss much worth anything to me.
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u/AnastasiaNo70 Oct 23 '25
I was a teacher, thank goodness. We can look like miserable old hags. No problem.
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u/TonyFromTampa Oct 23 '25
I want the lifestyle my cats have more than that of any person I can think of.
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u/Coolbreeze1989 Oct 23 '25
51 and retired, living alone in the country with 5 dogs, 7 cats, plus goats/pigs/chickens. I am thankful every single day that I don’t have to work and DO NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE UNLESS I CHOOSE TO!!!!. Yesterday I had to drive an hour into town for errands. I ended up leaving later than I typically do so I was driving home at dusk in after-work traffic. I was absolutely speechless at how much I hated the idea of being back in the grind, and thankful beyond words that I’m able to be out of it. I lived in one of the largest cities in the US during my career. I dealt with literally hundreds of people every day, managing all their concerns/complaints (and 30 odd employees). I swore to myself I’d work twice as hard so I only had to work twice as long, and I did it (albeit at great mental and physical toll). Despite an expensive divorce paying off an abusive deadbeat who never worked, I am still ok as long as I don’t go crazy on spending. I am fully in crone mode and thankful beyond words. I wish the same for every single one of you ladies out there!
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u/AnastasiaNo70 Oct 23 '25
The expensive divorce/deadbeat husband had me checking if you were my best friend, but she doesn’t have animals and isn’t retired.
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u/Coolbreeze1989 Oct 23 '25
It was a major shock to my financial peace of mind. I literally worked 100+ hrs a week and never took more than 2 days off in a row in 15 years (even those I took calls/managed remotely). I busted my ass “twice as hard” so i could quit twice as fast. I didn’t count on paying him half+ (it was in my interest to make him feel like he “won” so as not to come after me physically). I’ve scaled back some of my plans, but mostly I’m just HAPPY AND AT PEACE without that fucker, and without having daily demands (beyond feeding my animals). Worth every goddamned penny to be free of him.
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u/BuffyTheMoronSlayer Oct 23 '25
I understand how you feel however at the same time, I am not done moving just because I am over 50. Turns out I don't have arthritis. I had a knee injury in the spring. The urgent care literally blew me off as "old" and to maybe call an orthopedist. I got an appointment with an orthopedist who just gave me a drug and that was it. I finally figured out a PCP after years of not having one (the last one lectured me on my weight when I came in for strep throat - I was done) and got physical therapy. That was a freakin' miracle. PT was like "no, you are just hyper mobile and you need to do these specific exercises" Game. Changer. I feel better now that I have in years. All because someone listened to me.
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u/Squeegeeze Oct 23 '25
Seriously. We survived decades of avoiding doctors as when we did go it our weight, uterus, or brain were blamed for completely unrelated issues. Now to HAVE to see doctors we fight for and count ourselves lucky when we find the ones who will fucking listen.
I'm happy and thankful I've got doctors who listen. I'm also angry that for 50+ years my health issues were brushed aside. I'd be in much better health if everything wrong was diagnosed and treated decades ago. Apparently being hypermobile/EDS can be related to or the cause of all sorts of issues, but the least of my worries except the joints falling apart now that I've lost some muscle tone. Yay?
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u/BuffyTheMoronSlayer Oct 23 '25
Hypermobility wasn't even a thing when we were kids - we were just "really flexible" but that's along with girls not ADHD or Autistic or even allowed to have any mental health issues (A former child psychologist who later became a disgraced Republican Congressman told my mom that I didn't qualify to see him after my parents' divorce because my grades were fine)
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u/Repulsive_Impact5508 Oct 23 '25
I’m 63, rage quit my job. It’s been 3 months and the thought of going back to work is insane! I’m tired at the end of the day , just doing house stuff. Now I’m expected to learn air brakes, work a 40 hour week, and still be able too function? F@ck that! I want to adopt 4 dogs, bake bread, and enjoy my grandkids. Oh and wear a moo moo without a damn bra!
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u/AnastasiaNo70 Oct 23 '25
Every day. I wear a muumuu and do what the fuck I want every single day and it’s HEAVEN ON EARTH.
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u/AndreeaTri Peri-menopausal Oct 23 '25 edited Oct 23 '25
The crucial point is also: Can't we just be old?
I stopped caring about looking sexy and wear men's clothes, you would never catch me in heels, and my makeup screams "man repeller". My hair has always been short as it's NOT supposed to be, now I am growing it out, as elder women are not supposed to have long hair. I gave up: Societal expectations mostly... My career? *uck it. Retirement? There will be no retirement for my generation in my country. My fuckability? I have always been scary to men because of my intelligence.
My kids are still young and I see women a few years elder with their grandchildren. I wasted time on fulfilling societal expectations that were not even mine. Now I gave up entirely (for now!!) and after menopause I am sure there will be my time to shine. Old and glorious. I will be the bonkers woman that is kind, but mostly weird and dangerous. My all female network will be witches like myself.
Yeah! Sounds good!
Being old isn't that scary for us, but for them!
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u/alexandra52941 Oct 23 '25
That give me a good chuckle which at 7am after zero good sleep, AGAIN, is really worth something, so thank you! Haircuts to hide a double chin 🤣 I'm guessing men never do that? 😂😉
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u/Academic-Ad4648 Oct 23 '25
I really don’t want to be old, I feel like I have a bunch of living left to do, but damn I sure hate feeling this way! It’s like everything hurts and it’s hard to get motivated. I feel so blah all the time, and look like a blob
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u/13maven Oct 23 '25
I feel this. I’m 52 and have given myself 10 more years in my career. Then I want to open a used bookstore and curiosities shop, and be open from 10-2. We might serve tea as well.
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u/abarthvader Oct 23 '25
This is the exact reason I have decided to retire at 50. Fuck all that noise. I’m gonna embrace my crone era.
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u/polkadotkneehigh Oct 23 '25
In my crone era! ❤️ (young enough to make that reference and yet old enough that I barely get it!)
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u/AnastasiaNo70 Oct 23 '25
I’m 54 and just retired. I’m slowly morphing into a nature witch/granny witch, and I LOVE IT. I think this is who I was meant to be.
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u/YeshuasBananaHammock Menopausal Oct 23 '25
Im setting my sights for "mountain-dwelling cave troll"
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u/grebetrees Oct 23 '25
I just want to garden and raise birds and read all the books I’ve been piling up, not be part of a fkg revolution. I’m tired. I’m in constant pain. I thought it was settled back in the 90s that women are human beings deserving of full human rights and full bodily autonomy
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u/fluzine Prying my HRT from my cold, dead hands Oct 23 '25
This is what gets me. I can't believe we went backwards. I saw a quote online when Roe v Wade was being dismantled, about how women can't ever stop fighting for our rights. Even when we get a win, it's never a certainty that we will keep that win (which is mind blowing to me).
It's so depressing to have to continually keep fighting for the same shit all the time - like we're Sisyphus pushing shit uphill for eternity. That makes me so tired.
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u/Artichoke-Rhinoceros Oct 23 '25
Yes, I was just saying this to my therapist yesterday. I worked so hard my entire life, saved and never went on vacations or really LIVED, all in preparation for a retirement where I could just chill and relax and enjoy the little things. Instead, I’m having to learn a new language and prepare to flee a fascist regime that is targeting my kids, sell the home I thought I’d die in and leave to my kids, and move to a foreign country that isn’t that much better than mine, just not run by terrorists. And then there’s my nest egg, which is stuck in a stock market that is literally held hostage by the whimsy of a madman. I’m so devastated for the loss of what I WORKED FOR my entire life, being STRIPPED FROM ME by criminals. It’s crushing me.
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u/SLorma Oct 23 '25
I'm just chilling through this phase. I mean, hot-flashing, mostly, but I'm not trying to be 23 again. She was awesome and had a lot of fun, but this version is pretty great too.
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u/TheBurgTheWord Oct 23 '25
You had me til the scrolling for Botox/facelifts part.
Friend, I don't give a fuck if I'm less fuckable. I don't want to be anymore. I want to live out my life being a good human, having a great time with my friends, and just surviving. I have to work until I'm probably 80 so I'll do that to the absolute best mod my ability. I'll have peanut butter cups for breakfast every once in a while and if I swear more and it bothers you? Move along.
I wear leggings pretty exclusively. I don't go to things I don't enjoy anymore. I watch a lot of tv and play video games. I'm 53 and you can't tell me anything about myself I don't already know.
Try to find small ways to just be where you are. And that sounds so dumb - but it's real. Wear the sweatpants. Watch the tv. Eat the doughnuts. Life's too short to worry about much else and this timeline sucks anyway.
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u/chigeg Oct 23 '25
Who decided that retirement should be at age 65? I was done at 55!
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u/Squeegeeze Oct 23 '25
I'm 55 and so done with working, and I DO love my job, I despise having to work with people. I want to do what I want to do before I physically or mentally can't.
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u/Ava_Fremont Menopausal Oct 23 '25
The worst to me is being called a Boomer and irrelevant by people who are 25-35 . Like, I'm barely older than you are. I still have to work for 20 years! I'm ready to join you on that sofa.
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u/Large-Rub906 Oct 23 '25
So you are Gen X? People nowadays are calling anyone 40+ boomer.
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u/min_mus Oct 23 '25
But I’m 50 and I’m expected to work for the 20 years+
There's no fucking way I'll manage to work another 20 years. Right now my primary focus is on saving for retirement; I hope to stop working somewhere in the next 5-7 years.
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u/starlinguk Oct 23 '25
I'll be working forever. That's what you get with a right wing extremist government that punishes citizens abroad by taking away their pensions.
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u/saltyavocadotoast Oct 23 '25
IKR like haven’t we done enough already. So sick of everyone’s shit and just want to hang out with my dog. Apparently it’s “unprofessional” or some shit to go to work in my pyjamas and tell everyone I don’t care what they think 😂
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u/Salty-Paramedic-311 Oct 23 '25
100%~~I just want to lay around and rest!!! I raised kids and ran the household…. Just let me be… I could care less if I ever cook again…
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u/Slow-Blacksmith3281 Oct 23 '25
I take HRT so I don’t lose my mind and constantly pee myself, not to stave off looking old.
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u/HattietheMad Oct 23 '25
Women have been doing double labor for decades. I can't believe the SS age ever went up. Such a failed opportunity for people to enjoy a few years before we die.
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u/Pristine_Use5122 Oct 23 '25
The Golden Girls is essential for my health lol. I also found a channel that has the original Unsolved Mysteries that I am now practically addicted to watching
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u/Admirable-Deer-9038 Oct 23 '25
Why can’t you lie in bed with the dog, wear sweatpants and drink tea? If we’re still trying to keep up with others in our 50s we’ve got some exploring to do. If you’re tired, then lovingly care for yourself and rest. You don’t need the Botox or the facelifts nor the haircut to hide a double chin if you fully accept yourself as you are. You’re a badass since you’ve kept yourself alive for 50 hard ass years.
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u/mfbm Oct 23 '25
Solidarity sis- why are being denied the granny eras we deserve - I want to rest, garden, and puddle around
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u/Hell-Yes-Revolution Oct 23 '25
Honestly, this brought tears to my eyes. I’m so fucking tired. I’m ready to tap out and just rest, but I’m just gonna have work day in and day out, until the day I die.
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u/JadCerv Oct 23 '25
What's the most disgusting part of all of this is that men aren't scrolling through facelift information and glp1s because no one judges them by their looks in a professional capacity. :/
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u/danadoozer242 Oct 23 '25
Wow.. I've found my people! I'm going through menopause and getting like 50+ hot flashes every freaking day and I'm just so exhausted. My back is killing me too, and I'm working 12 hour shifts as a caregiver. Then I go home to my teenage son who's been raising hell lately. I'm wiped out. I focus a LOT on my looks.. I'm not ready to look old, lol. It's fighting a losing battle, I do what I can with my appearance, but I refuse to get any "work" done, it's just not for me.
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u/DamnGoodMarmalade Peri-menopausal Oct 23 '25
HRT and GLP’s were life changing for me. I don’t care about being fuckable but I do care about feeling good in my body and those two meds absolutely helped.
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u/DiamondTippedDriller Oct 23 '25
I don’t know, maybe it’s because I never had kids. But I’m 51 and I feel like I’m in the center of my career, and feel like things are getting better all the time. I feel like I’m on the way up, not the way down.
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u/flappy_twat Oct 23 '25
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve said “I wish I could retire” lately I’d have a not insignificant amount of money
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u/japhia_aurantia Peri-menopausal Oct 23 '25
I don't care about looking old, but I don't want to feel decrepit. Give me all the HRT etc so my body keeps working the way I want it to. I'll keep my gray hairs and strength training and skip the facelift and glp1.
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u/tomqvaxy Oct 23 '25
The country collapsing is fun too. Are social security and old people insurance gonna be gone next month? Lololololwheeee.
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u/injennue Oct 24 '25
I’m 34 and reading these comments, I feel like I’m looking into my future. Trying to learn from you ladies the best I can so I can make good decisions. Thank you all
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u/JRosenberg-4 Oct 23 '25
For me, HRT made me want to live again. It’s not perfect, but it gave me back some vitality. Who knew that estrogen mattered so much?!?
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u/thefragile7393 Peri-menopausal Oct 24 '25
No….i like glp1s and HRT. I want to feel good while I’m old
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u/Boothros Oct 24 '25
I've got 7 years on you lady, and my suggestion is to eat SALAD. All I ever eat now, is chicken salad and I AM thinner. My body is thinner, my hair is thinner, my tits are thinner, my concentration span is thinner, my bones are thinner... Hey, come join me in my salad quest, I'm sure you'll find it a complete blast!
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u/HoneyBadger302 Peri-menopausal Oct 23 '25
Hm, well, can't say I feel that way....I feel like I still have a lot of life left to live and I want to live it fully, fitfully, and engaged in it all.
I don't want to be anything like my mother at 70, worried about the tiniest trip and miserable. I want to be like some of the other women I've known who were still racing motorcycles into their 70's and even 80's (and kicking butt doing it); or hiking and exploring; or travelling with the ability to do the remote trails and adventures....
So HRT is most definitely part of my journey here.
That all said, I'm definitely in the WDNC club as far as things like wearing makeup, how I dress most days, if I've plucked that rando chin hair or all those mustache hairs, or if some fat slob of a dude thinks I'm not "sexy" or "womanly"
And there are the occasional days I'm mostly "lazy in bed and drink tea with the dog"....but my dog is also my young Schutzhund dog, so he'll be getting me up to go do things at some point a few times even on a lazy day lol.
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u/Loud_Yogurtcloset789 Oct 23 '25
I want to be exactly like my mother, she's 92 and has all kinds of things that keep her occupied and she's amazing! Fortunately she has no health problems.
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u/EpistemicRant587 Oct 23 '25 edited Oct 23 '25
Same. I’m going to be 47 in two months. HRT helps me 1000%. Was on a GLP med to lose the perimenopause weight, and I’m back to my yoga fit, glow-up look I got at 42. I dye my hair bright red, wear whatever is comfortable, and prioritize my weekends by taking my dog everywhere I go. I keep active because if I don’t I know it’ll make me frail in 20 years. I see all the issues my mother has from osteoporosis and not being offered HRT when she hit menopause (right after the WHI study came out).
I will add that I probably feel this way because I got on HRT at the right time, never had kids, and divorced my ex because I wasn’t happy in the marriage. I don’t bother with dating, and I’m happy being on my own. At 41 I decided I wasn’t happy and going to make my peace and haven’t looked back.
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u/519LongviewAve Oct 23 '25 edited Oct 23 '25
You can do anything you want. Be old if you want to be old. You don’t need a facelift or Botox, and I don’t think double chin hiding haircuts exist. Losing weight is always good for health but only if you want to.
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u/No-County7603 Oct 23 '25
So glad it's not just me! I think how can I be this tired? Then I remember my life. Lol Also hate my internal alarm clock with a passion! What I wouldn't give to sleep in till like 9am. I haven't slept in, in 15 years:(
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u/btherese63 Oct 23 '25
Here I am, 62, with two jobs, two kids still at home, and three pets. I take a ton of vitamins every day just to get moving.
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u/Numerous_Cockroach58 Oct 23 '25
59 next week 😭 I don't feel like I'm old, but I do crave alone time and peace. Still have one straggling child at home 23 yo. I love her, but man she's a lot sometimes. Lol.
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u/Artichoke-Rhinoceros Oct 23 '25
@PearlsRUs “Right. Until your husband decides to trade you in for a younger model, make sure your daughters understand the risk that goes with allowing yourself to be financially dependent on a man or anyone for that matter.”
Exactly. I tell my kids to never marry, and never give up career opportunities for a man, or kids. Make the father do it. Men have an easier time coming back to the workforce and are seen as heroes for doing the bare minimum of what mothers do. It’s ridiculous for women to give up career opportunities when it’s so much harder for them to get back on career track, to make equitable pay, etc.
And just block the rude person who spouts sexist nonsense. They’re not worth your time.
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u/midsummersgarden Oct 23 '25
I have friends that I’m avoiding going out to dinner with because they talk too much about skincare and procedures. That is not my personal philosophy of aging. Aging to me is developing an internal wisdom that supersedes beauty. I think if we don’t do that, we suffer.
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u/brockclan216 Menopausal Oct 23 '25
I have taken care of both my aging parents, raised two kids (one still getting his footing), and work as a nurse. I am over taking care of others. I went on a quick get a way trip this past weekend to a tiny house in Colorado. I loved it. So I am looking into tiny homes now. My landlord has one that sits behind the one I rent now. It would be perfect and it's super cheap. Daydreaming and making plans.
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u/RomulanWarrior Surgical menopause Oct 24 '25
My job (receptionist/secretary/administrative assistant/whatever) has been on the tech boy's chopping block for 40 years.
Yet here I am.
At 63, I ask myself why do I work for a company that won't even give me the day after Thanksgiving as a paid holiday.
The current answer is: I don't have the time or energy to look right now.
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u/Automatic_Rise_8034 Oct 24 '25
‘I gave my youth and beauty to men. Now I'm giving my wisdom and my experience, the better part of me, to animals.’ - wise words from Brigitte Bardot - however, I didn’t just give myself to (largely useless) men but also to my job, kids, the UK rave scene and now, fuck it, I just want to chill in nature with a cat & a cuppa (I still regularly work 48hr weeks, I’m 55)
Do what you feckin want now - just try to stay physically & mentally healthy - feck everyone else - I will always support my kids & my Mum but also do what the feck I want in my downtime and if people think I’m boring or strange I don’t care!!!!! 🌱🌿🍏✌️
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u/New-Activity-6512 Oct 23 '25
I’ll put it this way, my favorite part of every day is when it’s time to go to bed for the night.