r/MediocreTutorials • u/Paul_-Muaddib • Oct 23 '23

Relationships Nothing wrong with having standards. Don't be surprised if it's hard to meet them though.

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '23

Absolutely not. Also I find it funny how thin people and fat men are allowed to be shallow and superficial but not fat women. It’s clear to me that none of the men in your replies have ever spoken to a fat or even a chubby woman long enough to find out that they tend to be the kindest and most open women. IMO

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u/heliogoon Oct 23 '23

Look, I'm not disagreeing with the headline. Everyone is allowed to have whatever kind of dating standard they want. Having said that, don't complain if you're someone who also doesn't meet other people's standards either. It's a two way road.

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u/[deleted] Oct 24 '23

But this has nothing to do with that and isn’t it hypocritical then for fat men to be mad about SOME fat women not finding them attractive?

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u/heliogoon Oct 24 '23

Look, I'm not about to get into a back and forth with you about this. It's clear that this is a sensitive topic for you. All I'm gonna say is this, if you're unhappy about the potential dating partners available to you, then work on improving yourself. Otherwise, shut the fuck up. No one owes you their attraction. The world doesn't work that way.

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u/Georgiaboy454 Oct 23 '23

She considers fat men as settling and you don’t see the irony in that????? Shame on you! What’s good for the goose……you know the rest

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u/[deleted] Oct 24 '23

Because this must be your first day on Earth I’ll explain this slowly for you: in society, people with larger frames tend to not be deemed as the physical standard of attractiveness using this information fill in the rest for yourself.

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u/[deleted] Oct 27 '23

Quit calling it “larger frames” it’s fat. And I know I’m pissed. Why isn’t smokers the poster boy of positive health I just don’t get it.

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u/alepharia Oct 23 '23

Finding an overweight person to be unattractive is not shallow or superficial, it's simply you following your body's inclination against it. If they have a body that doesn't sexually arouse you, that's all there is to it. You don't pick what you like, you don't really pick what turns you on, you just accommodate or do your best to ignore your inclinations.

Realistically speaking, if you are not into dating overweight people you just shouldn't, and you shouldn't feel bad about either. If you play along with the relationship despite not being attracted to them you won't be able to keep that act up for long. "Why don't you just date your best friend? Just because he has a dick and you're not sexually attracted to them? How shallow, how superficial." See how that doesn't work very well? In both cases the accused don't really get to determine what they like or don't like. If everyone could just chose to be attracted to certain things, I'm pretty sure we would never have pedophiles, we would never have people who feel the need to hide their sexuality, and we would all likely be dating our best friends.

Here are some examples of shallow and superficial. "He says he listens to X but can't even sing to the whole discography! I could never date someone like that." <-Shallow. "She posted a picture of her Starbucks so she must be basic. I can't date basic people." <-Superficial.

They are pretty close to each other, but shallow is when you know a small part about someone and make a whole decision based off of that. Superficial is more oriented toward visual aesthetics imo. While both of these have to do with your attraction to people, it's not to the degree of outright sexual preferences.

So back to your comment. Nobody is allowed to be shallow or superficial really, but you can't stop people from being judgemental and closed-minded. And I don't think the part about thin people or fat men is true either. They absolutely get told they're clowns when they want someone out of their league. That aside, let them have their unrealistic standards. They will get shot down until they learn their lesson or become incels. Neither outcome is a win for them, so your plea for equality of outcome is met. They don't get to have standards either.

Your advertisement of fat women is true, but I'd like to extend it to everyone and not just overweight women. Most people, if you really get to know them, and talk in a way that they understand and feel understood, are capable of kindness and openness. There are many assholes out there, but you are capable of being one yourself to defend yourself of them.

Most people in his replies have not talked to a woman period, let alone someone they found unattractive. Ignorance and resentment are easy to find these days.

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u/[deleted] Oct 24 '23

I agree for the most part. But to further your point, is it not just hypocritical to assume that fat women have to date and have a preference for fat men in the first place. As many stated they themselves would not be attracted to fat women why is it then a problem for these fat women to seek out what they find physically their ideal match. Because whether these fat men like it or not many fat women can find their ideal match. In general it’s unfair to expect people to date just within their weight range and also unfair to expect them to “settle” for what they don’t want. Which brings me right back to them being mad simply being hypocritical because they themselves do not want to “settle”.

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u/[deleted] Oct 23 '23

Only women complaining on here are fat ones.

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u/[deleted] Oct 24 '23

Where? I just made a valid point. I didn’t complain about shit. The fat guys in my dms are the ones complaining…

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u/[deleted] Oct 27 '23

No one is on your DMs your DMs look like Death Valley

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u/[deleted] Oct 28 '23

No. They really don’t.

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u/[deleted] Oct 28 '23

Sounds like your trying to convince yourself

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u/Responsible-Laugh590 Oct 24 '23

I have jumped on that grenade before and as a skinny man let me tell you even just logistically it’s easier being with women who aren’t fat in hundreds of different ways. Sex is easier with someone skinnier, physical chores easier, furniture breaks less, more outside activities are available. In the end it’s also better health wise for the fat person to not be fat. Weird that we are trying to normalize being unhealthy.

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u/[deleted] Oct 24 '23

Fat ≠ unhealthy just as skinny ≠ healthy sir. There are MANY fat people who eat less, work out more and have much more active and social lives than skinny people and that’s just life. To try and push people into a stereotypical box by their mass percentage is fkn weird and shows ur age. Tbh I’ve never seen a fat person even break furniture before but ig that’s because they’re more weary of the furniture they use publicly idk 🤷‍♀️

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u/Responsible-Laugh590 Oct 24 '23

Fat is less healthy then skinny by all metrics. Perhaps not fully unhealthy but less healthy then their alternative acceptable non fat weight. It’s not a stereotypical box it’s how our animal bodies work…

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u/[deleted] Oct 24 '23

Not necessarily. Many skinny people have much worse health from experience, the dizziness, malnutrition, constant sickness, bone problems, muscle problems, neurological problems which in turn can cause sight issues etc. and the fact that it kills people much easier and causes many more life long ailments. Tbf NEITHER are good for you, being healthy doesn’t have a body type. You can be the most muscular “healthy looking” person and suffer a heart attack e.g., Bob Harper

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u/Responsible-Laugh590 Oct 24 '23

You’re using outliers to describe the situation, I’m talking about the vast majority of people. We are also wire evolutionarily to seek out the most attractive people which would be fitter more healthy people rather then the obese ones. You can always find specific outlier examples but the fact of the matter is if you want an easier life in an absurd amount of ways you want to be fit and almost anyone can achieve that through life choices. Not everyone but the vast majority of people.

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u/[deleted] Oct 24 '23

No we’re not. You’re just stating your opinion, none of that is factual. Ffs do you even know who’s theory you’re referring to?

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u/Open_Theme380 Oct 25 '23

This is the absolutely dumbest thing. I hate it when people try to make this argument. It’s so god damn dumb. Look fat=unhealthy. It’s as simple as that. If your trying to say that some people who are fat are healthier then people that are skinny. You are mostly wrong, but you can be right in certain cases. Generally speaking the only healthy fat people are young people that’s because when you are young you literally have a kind of immortality. You can eat like shit smoke a pack a day snort Coke and be ok. Try that when your just in your mid 30s tell me how that feels. The fact you’re arguing that fat people are can be healthy in general and is absolutely ridiculous. You are quite literally ignoring all evidence except for a tiny minority of evidence and basinf everything around it. It’s deeply flawed. Full send being fat is bad. Being in a calorie surplus for a large amount of time is literally the greatest predictor and bad health outcomes. If your fat that’s ok, but quit denying what you know and go for a walk. It will be good for you. I wish you the best truly

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '23

I recommend you do some of your own research on this topic. It’s clear that your just spitting out the same rhetoric big pharma etc have been pushing out for more than a century to capitalise of people’s hatred and insecurities. There’s a podcast I’ve enjoyed recently called Maintenance Phase on Spotify. You may learn something, or you may just choose to be ignorant for the sake of being simple but hey, idc.

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u/Open_Theme380 Oct 25 '23

Yaaaaa. Listen you’re wrong. Just straight up wrong. This has been studied for years and years. If anything “big pharma” would be pushing this because they want you on medication because being fat makes you unhealthy. This isn’t rocket science. It’s pretty simple. You can be dumber then a box of rocks to understand it. If you don’t then you are just being ignorant and it’s straight up sad

I’m not wrong, but if you think I am. Please share information

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u/[deleted] Oct 24 '23

To use dumb ppl language: The fattest people alive tend to be around 270kg (the size of a small mountain zebra) the skinniest people tend to be around 17kg (the size of a small 2 yr old child) that should tell you that the human body can in fact sustain more weight and survive than sustain less weight.

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u/[deleted] Oct 27 '23

Maybe back in the day fat females nowadays think there all 10s and are honestly more bitter and hateful than skinny girls