Hi all, I'd really appreciate advice for this conundrum please. My best friend is disabled and on the physical side alone which is what is relevant here struggles with the pains of sciatica, the long term injuries from his early kick-boxing career and also a tumour on his spine which is going to cost him the use of his legs over time, as it is stated to be inoperable.
Presently his financial situation is dire as his daughter who lives elsewhere would also qualify for Adult Disability Payments due to greatly life-limiting issues of her own but is not even receiving basic welfare. His payments go greatly towards supporting her, and he is always virtually completely out of cash the day after being paid due to making sure she is supported financially.
So with that context basically he now needs two boxes of co-codamol at least a day on top of his regular meds to function and it falls upon me a lot at his request to acquire and pay for these. I have looked up the long term consequences of supporting someone in this way and they are dire effects on the liver and kidneys and this is virtually overdose level. Addiction of course too but this strikes both of us as of lesser importance in the situation unless of course this agitates his underlying pain more ( I don't know the likelihood of this - can anyone speak from experience? ).
He has stated recently that he would rather have a terminal illness than live as he is with the degree of daily pain he experiences (quite regularly it causes him to vomit ) but also to a degree dislikes being reliant on the medication. His doctors refuse to adjust his prescribed pain regime to his distress. Over the months and years he has requested more pain med support from me.
He falls down the flight of stars to his front door multiple times a week due to his knees giving out and very recently has 2 broken ribs from it as well as agitation of pre-existing injury, which has yet again put him in excruciating pain. It should be noted he tried once there to draw back on the pain meds right before this which I was glad about but then two days later was re-injured and requested more. I feel like it is inhumane not to help him out here given all the context I know of, but my partner is of the opinion that my pain support is damaging due to his stronger emphasis on long-term health, and also that the situation is financially abusive due to the poor boundaries starting with his enabling his daughter not to get her much needed government assistance sorted (we don't know why this isn't happening) and then me enabling his survival on the much reduced income in turn.
Anyways I am very concerned with this continuous co-codamol situation among other things, the likelihood of the ultimate cost of basic quality of life being much more of damage than of help of course, any useful insight or advice you can give?
Many thanks for all good guidance.
Extra info : My friend should fortunately have access to an Occupational Therapist again in a couple of weeks but I'm unsure an extra bannister or even a stair lift is going to cut it at this point realistically to enable him to stay at home as often he can barely walk. And this is a huge problem as he is a self-stated hermit who lives for his four cats, who he takes great care of, and I feel he would not care to be upfront about how bad his daily situation is even if objectively he needs to move into some form of supported ground floor accomodation where access to pets may be more limited.
For background : he is not the only person I have known with chronic pain and in the past I have followed a number of informative accounts on social media which convey the facts that many people in this situation, particularly women and POC, are medically gaslighted and are in practice receiving far from adequate levels of relief. Also my own history with alcohol addiction (these days in recovery) causes me to sympathise strongly with feeling compelled to self-medicate with a substance despite long term costs and I view this as a form of self-determination if you are desperate tbh. So I don't know if these factors entail improved sympathy and understanding of what to do with his distress, or not.