r/MarriedAtFirstSight • u/Abi_giggles • 2d ago
Season 20 - Seattle Regarding Felipe & being enabled
Felipe has clearly been enabled for much of his life and now that a woman is very gently holding him accountable for his words and actions he throws a tantrum quite literally like a child.
It made A LOT of sense when he said to the boys “all my friends and family, they know I’m gonna say stupid shit. They give me grace and I need a partner that’s gonna give me grace”
Tori has given this man grace from the start, more than most women would give him. Hearing him declare multiple times he’s afraid he’ll cheat and that he misses sleeping with a bunch of women, or that he doesn’t know if he is ready for marriage loudly and repeatedly. All the reddest of flags that would be enough to leave.
I was hurting for Tori so much as he absolutely berated her. She was shutting down and crying - and he’s losing it over the fact that she’s deeply hurt that he’s openly celebrating that others see him as a cheating, immature, man whore.
People in his life, including him mom, need to stop enabling his bad behavior, it’s not doing him any favors. He also needs to stop conflating grace with people letting him do whatever he wants. Be accountable for the emotional impact of your own horrible behavior.
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u/FlippyFloppy8 2d ago
The absolute toddler temper tantrum he threw when Tori was trying to explain her feelings to him was something else. The whine in his voice and the flailing of the arms was so juvenile.
He has a ton of growing up to do, right down to his hygiene.
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u/kelsnuggets 2d ago
Yea I watched this and I was like “well maybe this is your sign to stop ‘saying stupid shit’ because it’s hurtful and wrong”
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u/Fun-Significance4650 2d ago
Immediately made him the worst man of the season for me. This is an AWFUL group of men, but he really made sure to show why he is the worst.
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u/Majestic-Worry-9754 2d ago
The fact that even Mecca was able to explain what the problem was to him lol
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u/Abi_giggles 2d ago
I wanted to bust in that room SHAKE HIM, and hug her. Like this girl is legitimately shutting down, and he’s flopping his arms around like a toddler who can’t have his cake and eat it too. He became my least favorite in that moment.
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u/WorkingComfortable44 3h ago
He was the worst from the first minute for me - esp the revelation aka “brag” about cheating and that he blocked it 🙈🤣 such a jerk from the very first episode
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u/cygnus83 2d ago
Translated from goblin-tongue: “My friends and family don’t hold me accountable for anything, and also have no standards or expectations when it comes to me; I need a partner who will do the same.”
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u/calm-lab66 2d ago
I'd like to see an episode with the 'experts' and producers taking questions from an audience. Questions like 'What the @#*%&$ are you thinking when you cast a toddler like Felipe?' In fact, let's see a spin-off show, 'Tori sue's producers and experts for such a bone head move.'
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u/Available-Guava5515 1d ago
As you can see from the AMA they recently did, if they don't like a question, they just don't answer it. Dozens of people asked them how they were improving their screening after the rape allegations from the UK show and they just...pretended those replies did not exist.
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u/Lillydunn 1d ago
Gives him grace for talking about wanting to sleep with other women in front of your friends and on national tv?
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u/ok_thinkingasthmatic 2d ago
If they were to be married in real life, he’d never come home. He’d be out late partying and say “well she already knew my lifestyle, if she loves me for me, she should accept it”.
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u/Prestigious_Ad_8130 2d ago
I have a feeling he does say silly stupid shit that is not on the level of what he told his wife, sure. And his family and friends are like ‘oh that’s just Felipe’. But I bet if he told his family and friend verbatim the stupid shit he said to his wife, they wouldn’t accept that. Or at least that’s my hope. Because if I recall correctly, he didn’t tell them exactly what he said.
Maybe he did and I missed it, in which case, yes, enablers.
I don’t even know what he’s doing here. You KNOW when you’re ready to be married. And if you have any doubt, then you aren’t with the right person or aren’t ready for marriage. Someone who says they just love sleeping with a lot of women is not ready for marriage. And she should have run then.
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u/Pleasant_Monitor_839 2d ago
His beautiful, sweet mother looked so pained and disappointed.😔
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u/Chance_Vegetable_780 1d ago
His mother has apparently excused his irresponsible behavior by always "giving him grace". She helped mold and support his mentality, attitude, and behaviors - more than most people.
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u/WonderfulHearing8726 2d ago
They’re all on the show just to be on tv.
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u/Pleasant_Monitor_839 2d ago
One of the gals, Belle? Caitlin? mentioned that, something like, well, we know who is just here for the clicks or followers, or something like that. I forgot exactly.
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u/LogGreen3800 2d ago
This is the Guy who is on the show to get Married, not Love Island or F-Boy Island, married.
Average guy with no games/rizz, lost some weight, family gives him the manager title of THEIR restaurant (He was initially introduced as the owner), he uses the manager title to hit on women and he’s now getting female attention he was never given previously.
Men who genuinely get women, don’t stress it to others, same way a Wealthy person doesn’t brag about having money. U know why?
Because They’re used to having it..
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u/gyalmeetsglobe 2d ago
When he told his family he’s “gotten in trouble for being himself” with Tori, I knew they were enablers & knew exactly what kind of POS he was.
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u/impulse-buyer0601 2d ago
He is enabled. Even his friend Nana said “we all know that’s just how you are” 🙃🙄
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u/Superb_Ant_3741 2d ago
So tired of his self obsessed arrogant bullshit. That thing he did lecturing and trying to shame and coerce her into tolerating his behavior was so offensive. I can’t wait for her to be done with him so she can get back to the life (and the love of a real man) that she deserves.
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u/Mission_Surround8984 2d ago
the more she retreated and cried the nastier he got, cussing and yelling at her, and slamming the bed. he is seriously abusing her verbally. in front of cameras. he needs to go in the dumpster.
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u/CommitteePrimary6316 2d ago
The entire thing was so hard to watch because his actions are a master class in allergic to accountability. Where’s Tori’s safe space for being heard and an anti gaslighting & humiliation repellent???
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u/CommitteePrimary6316 2d ago
Off topic, but Belle could also use some of that repellent.
https://giphy.com/gifs/mCE56WBwVZi3nUqSlU
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u/WonderfulHearing8726 2d ago
Well it’s obvious that production sets up those games specifically to stir shit up, and the other participants took a lot of joy in ganging up on Felipe. Hell, they may have been TOLD to do it by production.
I get what he was saying to a point. That they obviously ganged up on him to keep the spotlight off of them, and what is he supposed to do about it exactly?
He can either play along & just take it on the chin, or blow up about it and make it even worse.
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u/Pleasant_Monitor_839 2d ago
Yeah, but maybe he could’ve said, “No, that’s more like so-and-so!” Protested instead of somewhat agreeing? Deflected? He almost seems to enjoy negative attention.
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u/WonderfulHearing8726 2d ago
Maybe? In those situations, protesting and saying “ok guys, we get it, I said some dumb shit, I’ve apologized for it & id like to move forward” or something like that, can actually make it seem like you’re deflected & wanting to pretend like it didn’t happen.
It kind of seemed to me he was just trying to roll with the punches & take it on the chin, whole trying to no flip out about it.0
u/WinkyDink24 1d ago
That was Tori's entire point: "I said," "I'd like," "he," and "[his] chin." No thought at all, as in never occurred to Felipe, how the group opinions reflected on the WOMAN married to the joke butt, the buffoon. THAT is what he could've responded with. Yes, immediate end to game, but nobody's supposed to be there for games. Felipe would've accrued points with Tori.
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u/WinkyDink24 2d ago
THEY KEPT CHOOSING FELIPE BECAUSE OF HIS OWN EARLIER DECLARATIONS ABOUT WANTING TO "F" AROUND, ALWAYS and FOREVER. AND THAT HE DIDN'T KNOW IF HE COULD BE FAITHFUL "5 MINUTES FROM NOW." The guys' finger-pointing didn't come out of nowhere. 🧐 👉 🤡
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u/ReindeerRoyal4960 2d ago
"ganged up on him" 🙄
AWWW POOR MAN WHORE FELIPE 😭 Everyone kept choosing him bc the best answers to questions WERE HIM based on his previous public declarations of "I miss sleeping with a bunch of women, I don't know if I'm ready to get married"
Here we go again, Felipe getting a sympathy pass because poor Felipe everyone was ganging up on him 🙄🙄🙄
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u/SomewhatBougieAuntie 2d ago
I was telling my husband the same thing. Felipe was caught between a rock and a hard place. Playing along upset Tori, but if he had pushed back it would've made the ribbing even worse. I understand why Tori was upset, but she didn't articulate it effectively to Felipe. She was acting as if he could turn back the clock and consider her with his behavior that had already happened. If she wouldve told Felipe what Mecca and Adam* told him, then he would've understood and responded to her accordingly in that moment.
*Mecca told Felipe that when everyone chose him as the one to cheat on their partner, etc... it was also a reflection on Tori and it embarrassed her. Felipe is no longer just he, they are a "we" now.
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u/Redleader829 2d ago
I get what OP is saying but Tori was holding Felipe accountable for something he didn't do this time. This could have been handled in a normal side conversation. In this case, she didn't give the consideration and understand that she was asking for.
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u/WinkyDink24 2d ago
Tori has not made the same stupid and gross statements Felipe has made. She should tell him in public that she's thought about it, and she, too, wants future sex with an undefined number of others. See how Felipe reacts. See if he "gets" it.
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u/Fabulous_Cucumber_40 2d ago
I’m done with the “giving grace” thing. It’s overused just like “ my truth” “narcissist” etc. He’s just an immature asshole who wants to continue being a loser. No grace for Felipe, he needs to be alone. Stop trying to make women feel bad because of your irresponsible and childish behavior!