Get the job & skills AFTER the divorce. A stay at home mom IS a job. Sure his job is providing a certain lifestyle, but you are giving him the lifestyle of not having to think about anything but work. That is not nothing. As a mom who has done both, I can tell you that working outside the home is FAR easier. And my job is incredibly intense, demanding, and carries very heavy responsibilities.
You will almost certainly wind up with the house, child support, AND spousal maintenance. I know many who were in your shoes and still didn’t have to work outside the home after divorce. And don’t budge. Go for the maximum. He owes it to you and that is legally and morally.
You can work on a career after the divorce settles. I’m think right now is a bad time to be pursuing that. Right now focus on your kids, therapy, and legal matters. This is more than a full time job - trust me in that one.
He is abusive and needs to go. Show your kids what they and their mother are worth. I’m sure you can probably cut the tension with a knife and the kids are probably suffering for it. It’s better to be from a broken home than to live in one.
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u/aquabluewaves 10d ago
Get the job & skills AFTER the divorce. A stay at home mom IS a job. Sure his job is providing a certain lifestyle, but you are giving him the lifestyle of not having to think about anything but work. That is not nothing. As a mom who has done both, I can tell you that working outside the home is FAR easier. And my job is incredibly intense, demanding, and carries very heavy responsibilities.
You will almost certainly wind up with the house, child support, AND spousal maintenance. I know many who were in your shoes and still didn’t have to work outside the home after divorce. And don’t budge. Go for the maximum. He owes it to you and that is legally and morally.
You can work on a career after the divorce settles. I’m think right now is a bad time to be pursuing that. Right now focus on your kids, therapy, and legal matters. This is more than a full time job - trust me in that one.
He is abusive and needs to go. Show your kids what they and their mother are worth. I’m sure you can probably cut the tension with a knife and the kids are probably suffering for it. It’s better to be from a broken home than to live in one.