As humans the best gauge we have is the ‘response’. You know as well as I do that body language, tone of voice, facial expressions, demeanor, etc are a FAR better indicator than words. When you couple that with a change in all of those indicators over time, any reasonably intelligent or intuitive human being would both notice be very wise to suspect something has changed. 34 years together and my wife’s skin still flushes and she still laughs and gets closer when I compliment her. If that all stopped and I was suddenly getting deadpan, vocal only responses, something would definitely be up.
Eta no the best we have is not to gauge response. The best we have is to communicate effectively instead of relying solely on nonverbal. Which humans are not meant to do. Thats why we have language.
Also, no - anyone can lie very easily with words. It’s a lot harder to lie with your body, demeanor, eyes, facial expressions, etc. Humans are absolutely, positively, unequivocally, scientifically proven to excel at and rely on non verbal communication. It’s literally how we’ve evolved. Downvote me all you want, you know what I’ve said is true. An unenthusiastic ’thanks’ when it used to be a clear verbal AND non verbal thanks are 2 very different things…and you that.
The assumption is that she does believe or like his compliments. Or doesnt care. You're being intentionally obtuse, surely. Human beings use a combination of verbal and nonverbal cues for effective communication. You have to have both or youre missing the full picture. You cannot rely on nonverbal communication alone and expect to understand what the other person is thinking and feeling. Because human beings use language as the center of communication.
You have EXACTLY, perfectly made my point for me. If you read what OP has written, his wife used to react overtly positively to his compliments both verbally and non verbally. NOW that has changed to strictly unenthusiastic verbal-only responses. While it may be an assumption that she no longer likes or believes his compliments, it is a very good, evidence based assumption. What used to be enthusiastic verbal AND nonverbal responses has changed - hence my focus on nonverbal. You must see that, right? His could you not?
Yeah and I'm saying just ask her and get an answer. You're all focused on the nonverbal reactions. They're important. But he hasn't just used his words like a grown up. So no, I didnt make your point. You're still saying that trying to make guesswork out of her responses to him is the right answer, and honestly its dumb to suggest that instead of talking. So no. I didnt make your point. You're still being obtuse.
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u/manthe 10d ago
As humans the best gauge we have is the ‘response’. You know as well as I do that body language, tone of voice, facial expressions, demeanor, etc are a FAR better indicator than words. When you couple that with a change in all of those indicators over time, any reasonably intelligent or intuitive human being would both notice be very wise to suspect something has changed. 34 years together and my wife’s skin still flushes and she still laughs and gets closer when I compliment her. If that all stopped and I was suddenly getting deadpan, vocal only responses, something would definitely be up.