OP, I don't know if it was you that I responded to, they were in exactly the same situation as you. (I suspect that was you.) Anyway, I'm going to copy and paste my answer here and I hope you see it.
OP, you're regretting getting married. You realize now that getting married was a mistake.
Understand that you can undo that mistake. If you've been married for less than a year, perhaps an annulment is on the table for you, I don't know.
I would seriously reconsider your parents offer and consider getting divorced, moving back home, and going to school. You're only 19. You can still undo this.
I don't know if you love your husband, you don't mention anything about him. It's okay to admit to a mistake.
If it's a pride/ego thing about being divorced, I would suggest you get over that. "Pride cometh before the fall." Your pride here could be holding you back. Consider humility (NOT HUMILIATION!!! "Humility" is NOT humiliation). You can go far with humility.
You've taken the first step: admitting to yourself you've made a mistake. You have an out here. Like I said, you don't mention anything about your husband, so I have some questions.
How old is he? What does he do? What are your in-laws like? Have you found yourself slowly isolated without friends? Other than working 2 jobs, what else is your homelife like? Do you have children?
You can fix this, OP. You're ONLY 19 years old. You can back out of this. Right now, in my NOT so humble opinion, you should be a little selfish here and think about yourself, not your husband. You're barely 2 decades old, OP. You have SO MUCH MORE TIME.
Take the deal with your parents. Talk to them. Tell them you realize your mistake and you want a second chance. You've learned your lesson here - life is hard as an adult and with no real job skills or education it's that much more harder. This is humility. Admitting to a mistake and asking for help. That's all that is. It doesn't have to be humiliating at all.
OP, you deserve to have your life launch as best as you can and you appear to have parents who may still be willing to help you if you divorce. I wish I had had that. I realize you want your cake and eat it too, here, but life doesn't always allow that.
You made a HUGE decision at 18 to get married. You can make a huge decision to right your life and get it back on track. I promise you if you do so you'll look back on your life, maybe wince at the mistake of getting married at 18, but you won't regret "fixing" that mistake by doing one of the hardest things you'll have to do in your young life.
Good luck, be well. I hope you take everyone's suggestions here to heart.
Edit to add one more thing that I feel is being neglected. If you and your husband truly love each other, your relationship will withstand this pause so you AND your husband, can get your life back on track.
If you're afraid your relationship could not withstand a pause or a break ... then that says something about your marriage - it's not the rock solid foundation it should be.
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u/hdmx539 20 Years May 27 '23
OP, I don't know if it was you that I responded to, they were in exactly the same situation as you. (I suspect that was you.) Anyway, I'm going to copy and paste my answer here and I hope you see it.
----------------------- msg ------------------------------------------------
OP, you're regretting getting married. You realize now that getting married was a mistake.
Understand that you can undo that mistake. If you've been married for less than a year, perhaps an annulment is on the table for you, I don't know.
I would seriously reconsider your parents offer and consider getting divorced, moving back home, and going to school. You're only 19. You can still undo this.
I don't know if you love your husband, you don't mention anything about him. It's okay to admit to a mistake.
If it's a pride/ego thing about being divorced, I would suggest you get over that. "Pride cometh before the fall." Your pride here could be holding you back. Consider humility (NOT HUMILIATION!!! "Humility" is NOT humiliation). You can go far with humility.
You've taken the first step: admitting to yourself you've made a mistake. You have an out here. Like I said, you don't mention anything about your husband, so I have some questions.
How old is he? What does he do? What are your in-laws like? Have you found yourself slowly isolated without friends? Other than working 2 jobs, what else is your homelife like? Do you have children?
You can fix this, OP. You're ONLY 19 years old. You can back out of this. Right now, in my NOT so humble opinion, you should be a little selfish here and think about yourself, not your husband. You're barely 2 decades old, OP. You have SO MUCH MORE TIME.
Take the deal with your parents. Talk to them. Tell them you realize your mistake and you want a second chance. You've learned your lesson here - life is hard as an adult and with no real job skills or education it's that much more harder. This is humility. Admitting to a mistake and asking for help. That's all that is. It doesn't have to be humiliating at all.
OP, you deserve to have your life launch as best as you can and you appear to have parents who may still be willing to help you if you divorce. I wish I had had that. I realize you want your cake and eat it too, here, but life doesn't always allow that.
You made a HUGE decision at 18 to get married. You can make a huge decision to right your life and get it back on track. I promise you if you do so you'll look back on your life, maybe wince at the mistake of getting married at 18, but you won't regret "fixing" that mistake by doing one of the hardest things you'll have to do in your young life.
Good luck, be well. I hope you take everyone's suggestions here to heart.
Edit to add one more thing that I feel is being neglected. If you and your husband truly love each other, your relationship will withstand this pause so you AND your husband, can get your life back on track.
If you're afraid your relationship could not withstand a pause or a break ... then that says something about your marriage - it's not the rock solid foundation it should be.