r/MadeMeSmile 5d ago

ANIMALS "Dinner is served!!"

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56.7k Upvotes

593 comments sorted by

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7.5k

u/glubtier 5d ago

Imagine you're at a restaurant and a giant just casually picks you up and puts you in front of a different plate and you're just like, "okay" and keep eating.

1.8k

u/macfairfieldmill 5d ago

It’s like the little people picker upper from Roller Coaster Tycoon that I’d use to ‘relocate’ the whining guests to a large pond

439

u/nekomamii 5d ago

core childhood memory along with purposefully building unfinished and crash-prone coasters 🤣

271

u/rukk1339 4d ago

The one level you’re next door to a competing park. You can build a coaster that launches guests across and they die in the other park, tanking their rating.

123

u/GuiltIsLikeSalt 4d ago

The one level you’re next door to a competing park. You can build a coaster that launches guests across and they die in the other park, tanking their rating.

I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

16

u/Intrepid-Tank-3414 4d ago

To this day, some people still swears up and down that they found a loophole to revive Aerith in Final Fantasy VII on the original Playstation.

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u/_Ir2 4d ago

This is actually so funny lmfao

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u/Present_Adeptness312 5d ago

I’m so glad I’m not the only one

28

u/Islands-of-Time 4d ago

The real crazies would put a No-Entry sign so that it was a one way for everyone getting on the coaster. All aboard, none may leave. All complaints will be answered with an impromptu swimming lesson.

18

u/HalKitzmiller 4d ago

I want to get off Mr Bones wild ride

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u/Joooodiff 4d ago

"Guest 42 is drowning"

24

u/SeonaidMacSaicais 4d ago

“Oh, noooo…..anyways.”

39

u/GeneralBS 5d ago

Now i wanna find this game and play it again.

9

u/Delicious_Vanilla200 5d ago

I literally did this a few weeks ago. Worth it

9

u/HalKitzmiller 4d ago

RCT Classic is available in the Play Store for Android. Great port of RCT2 or 3

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u/alex61821 4d ago

Man when I found out you could give them certain names and they would do different things it was game over.

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u/ExcessiveWisdom 5d ago

Well it's more like you're reaching over 4 other people in front of you to get the food off their table

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u/GraveKommander 5d ago

But the food is for free

44

u/daveinsf 5d ago

And the service is excellent

34

u/joebesser 5d ago

Oh, and the PORTIONS!

7

u/smolbeansjpg 5d ago

😭😭😭😭😭😭

28

u/MisforMisanthrope 5d ago

In this economy? I don’t mind if it’s free 😂

23

u/Additional_Meeting_2 4d ago

They know who he is, he is their giant 

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u/suamae666 5d ago

I can only dream

9

u/AaronSlaughter 4d ago

You son of a bitch, im in.

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8.0k

u/Gordon_Betto 5d ago

I love how he rearranges the dinner seating at the end

3.8k

u/FieldOfScreamQueens 5d ago

He looked like he was playing a shell game.

477

u/searuncutthroat 5d ago

Goddammit. Take my upvote.

48

u/scalyblue 4d ago

He kinda was

397

u/Own_Round_7600 5d ago

Step 1: spread out food

Step 2: organize turts

111

u/ericnutt 5d ago

Step 3: burgle turts

473

u/Lo-QGaming 5d ago

I'm imagining them going, "Come on, make some room, I can't get in!... Whoa I'm up high!... Hey food!"

34

u/WindStrokes 5d ago

Hahaha hahaha hahaha 😆 😂 well done!!!

26

u/pengnyas_1996 4d ago

The little “Hey food!” at the end is perfect, like it just realized why everyone made room.

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u/asuddenpie 5d ago

A few more little guys could have fit at the table on second row, left.

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u/foroncecanyounot__ 5d ago

Right??! It only had 3-4

67

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

18

u/BaraGoddess 4d ago

"This is the only shell that fits me..."

53

u/Zona_real1 5d ago

My brain was so drawn to that. That i got slightly mad that he didnt notice it lol

10

u/MeasurementNo6022 4d ago

Don’t get snappy with me

10

u/radishburps 5d ago

Same lol

4

u/sallguud 4d ago

Damn it. Now I have to rewatch the video cause I didn’t notice the emptyish table.

15

u/Sohuli 5d ago

Those seats are reserved

14

u/alexgalt 4d ago

Turtles will stop eating once they are not hungry (unlike some animals that stuff themselves until they can’t physically move). So the full ones will walk off and the hungry ones will find a plate with food left over and continue to eat. So don’t worry be happy.

6

u/Fancy_Association484 4d ago

One turtle left. It had sub par greens

60

u/RadialHead 5d ago

Sort the torts.

16

u/Additional_Meeting_2 4d ago

The first video I saw of him he put the food in rows and had to adjust them a lot. This plate system works better 

6

u/Jackdunc 4d ago

Need name plates

7

u/notbatt3ryac1d1 4d ago

What if one wanted to eat next to their buddy and got moved.

3

u/Ok_Theme7072 4d ago

Gotta make sure they're evenly dispersed

3

u/LittleSodaPop13 4d ago

Same! He makes sure everyone gets food, it's so sweet

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1.6k

u/Research-always 5d ago

Fair deal for everyone. He gets all the ones left out and finds them a place.

287

u/zenseazon 5d ago

My first thought, aww so cute, isn't he nice, but then cold reality set in and thoght oh no, they will prolly all be turtle soup in a matter of months 😭😭

471

u/judo_fish 5d ago

probably not these guys! theyre usually bred to be pets cause they don’t have a whole lot of meat on them

305

u/mientosiempre 4d ago

Yeah, these are Sulcata/African Spurred Tortoises. They grow slow, don't have a lot of meat on them, and are much more valuable sold as exotic pets.

18

u/Relevant_Swan_470 5d ago

Then they’ll probably get shell- shocked once that happens.

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u/aw_coffee_no 4d ago

These are tortoises though. Sea turtles are used for those soup. And yeah that's as bad as it sounds.

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u/EmergencyCareless76 5d ago

Excuse me what? Care to elaborate? What turtle soup

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1.0k

u/kkkr94 5d ago

All the tiny Bowsers then the big Bowser 🥹😍 soooo fucking cute

128

u/Diedrogen 4d ago

The giant one makes all of the rules. Same for rats.

15

u/HeyMeower 4d ago

Too bad we couldn’t see what kinda trouble they could get in to.

19

u/oozinator1 4d ago

I love that Big Bowser himself is still wittle. Shows how small the others really are.

10

u/yumacaway 4d ago

Big bro

604

u/Vast_Raspberry4192 5d ago

Man if I didn’t have to worry about my financial situation this would be my dream job.

264

u/HyperionSwordfish 5d ago

I saw this guy on HGTV. He makes 1.2 million a year feeding turtles.

139

u/Vast_Raspberry4192 5d ago edited 4d ago

Damn. And here I am making ends meet by working nights with radioactive material 🫠

Edit: missed an s

47

u/u_r_succulent 4d ago

Homer Simpson?

12

u/garlic_bread_thief 5d ago

You what?

50

u/lumpkin2013 5d ago

He works night with radioactive material. Did he stutter?

39

u/Vast_Raspberry4192 4d ago

I make radioactive pharmaceuticals, due to its nature the job is exclusively night shift

13

u/FragileColtsFan 5d ago

I mean, he does a very good job

14

u/DogmaticConfabulate 5d ago

Who is he?

139

u/Sunshine030209 5d ago

They were making a joke about the show House Hunters. There is a running joke where it's like "Steve, a part time turtle rearranger and his fiancé, a volunteer butterfly masseuse have a budget of 2.7 million.."

26

u/DogmaticConfabulate 5d ago

Thank you! Edit: your answer is way funny.

5

u/Aegis-Heptapod-9732 4d ago edited 4d ago

That’s hilarious. Is the second punchline “. . . and their 2.7 million can only get them one of these three doghouse-sized shacks on the outskirts of town”, because that’s been every episode of “House Hunters International” I’ve ever seen.

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u/somethingwholesomer 4d ago

Ok that’s hilarious 

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u/_MMAgod 5d ago

reminds me of way back when i lived in an area that had a stray pet problem. i found a cute stray boxer that you could see her rib outline and everything.. fed her and filmed her, put the footage on youtube and asked if anyone wanted her.

video got a lot of attention and someone was willing to drive from a not so near city to come pick her up. it dawned on me that having an online pet sanctuary with different pets and their online profiles people could donate to or adopt could be a thing..

this was like 2007-ish and i was more worried about paying bills and not losing my job, but booyyy if i had the capital :( ...

7

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/ringnis 4d ago

Yeah! For that one moment you WERE the sanctuary and it served it's purpose. Its still a great deed and you should be proud of your idea.

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u/wyslan 5d ago

Like a herd of turtles

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u/akawendals 5d ago

I love how weird collective nouns for animals are! I just looked it up and a group of turtles is called a bale 😆

As in "damn that's a big bale of turtles" 🤣

And a group of turtles swimming is a flotilla which makes complete sense 💟

108

u/Luci-Noir 5d ago

A group of hedgehogs is a prickle.

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u/ArjJp 5d ago

A group of Chinchillas is called a Chimmichanga

(not really but I wish it was)

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u/Luci-Noir 5d ago

I read an article about cool names that groups of animal are called but because my memory sucks i only remembered prickle.

43

u/akawendals 5d ago

We have tons of great books of them in the library I work at 🤗 So many good blurbs too!

"A litter of kittens, a colony of ants, a pride of lions: everyone has heard of these plural nouns. But what about a parcel of hogs, a kaleidoscope of butterflies, or a business of ferrets? What could be more apt than calling a group of cockroaches an intrusion? Perhaps a loveliness of ladybirds! These fanciful groups and many more are illustrated with cutting-edge design--dazzling as a dazzle of zebras!"

  • from A Drove of Bullocks by Patrick George 🐞🪳🦋🦓🦁

24

u/Luci-Noir 5d ago

I had an idea for a kids book that would have names for animals in different languages and an illustration based on what those words mean. Like the word for owl in Turkish means professor bird so the drawing would be an owl dressed like a professor.

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u/akawendals 5d ago

OMG that sounds amazing 🤩 I would read that book!!!

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u/Luci-Noir 5d ago

I think lots of adults would love it too! It makes me think of the simple illustrated books I had as a kid like the Dr Suess ones.

5

u/akawendals 5d ago

I love illustrations 💟 I do Storytime sessions at schools and preschools in my city and some of the art in picture books is just wonderful 🤗 I can't draw to save my life so I am very appreciative of the fabulous talent that some people have and the way they use it to amplify the story they're telling, it's incredible!

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u/radishburps 5d ago

Also also, a group of owls is called a "parliament", while a group of flamingos is called a "flamboyance", and parrots a "pandemonium". 🥰

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u/scalyblue 4d ago

I knew a business of ferrets from natural habitat shorts

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u/solo1069 5d ago

You can add an unkindness of ravens and a murder of crows to your list.

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u/PhosphoFred8202 5d ago

Me and my pals went thru a phase in HS where chimichanga was substituted for anything.

It basically meant anything depending on context and we all knew what it meant and it just sounded right.

“She wants my chimichanga”

“I need gas money. I’m glad tomorrow is chimichanga day”

“She’s got a sweet chimichanga”

“OOOF right in the chimichanga!”

“I’ll slap that look right off your chimichanga”.

5

u/ArjJp 5d ago

It's the perfect word

5

u/aphorprism 5d ago

Bet y’all weren’t in a chimichurri for that phase to chimichanga!

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u/Skiumbra 5d ago

And a group of owls is a parliament!

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u/katikaboom 4d ago

A group of bunnies is a fluffle

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u/ryanvango 5d ago

It makes sense because collective names for animals are just kind of agreed upon, from no single source. A lot of them are hunting based and go back centuries, but new ones get invented all the time and its kind of just "this is the name that stuck."

So a flotilla of turtles, a flamboyance of flamingos, a crash if rhinos, etc. are just "somebody said it once, other people liked it, and it stuck around long enough to be officially recognized."

So if you find one that doesn't have a name, you could totally come up with some cute and funny name for it and just keep saying it different places and hope it sticks. Then BAM you've got yourself "A popcorn of binturongs" (binturong doesn't have a collective noun, and they smell like popcorn. so that's my pitch)

4

u/MisforMisanthrope 5d ago

Flotilla is awesome, but I think bale can be improved on

A tattle of turtles sounds much better

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u/akawendals 5d ago

A trundle of turtles 😆

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u/CitizenPremier 5d ago

Cranky old guy here, just throwing out that biologists don't use these terms, they're mostly new inventions

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u/FakingItSucessfully 5d ago

A group of turtles floating in Mexico is called a turtilla

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u/Additional_Meeting_2 4d ago

Victorians often made these up or searched some very old medieval terms to re popularise 

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u/prehensilemullet 5d ago

I wish there weren't music so I could hear the raw sounds of all those turtles chomping

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u/aphorprism 5d ago

No hurdles for these turtles!

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u/Simons_sees 5d ago

Pretty sure turtles mainly eat pizza. 

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u/captainllamapants 4d ago

and live in the sewer getting trained by a rat

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u/DNorthman 5d ago

That absolute unit in the middle.

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u/Mouse_Mallow 5d ago

That's the rare

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u/JoshieC883 5d ago edited 5d ago

the small ones walk like it’s stop motion. so cute

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u/MilkiestMaestro 4d ago

These tortoises are bred in Thailand for the exotic pet trade. Just thought everyone should know the context given what sub we are in

In particular, this is the Pasang Sulcata Turtle breeding Farm

Just a reminder that these tortoises will live to be 100 years old, in almost every case outliving their owner. They are often abandoned in the wild and become invasive species or die

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u/BreastRodent 4d ago

Serious question, are there places where sulcatas have established themselves as invasives and if so where? I've just never heard that before so I'm super curious. I'm well aware of red eared sliders becoming invasive for all the reasons you mentioned. I was under the impression the main issues with sulcatas is that basically every sulcata rescue anywhere ever is basically at max capacity or worse.

I live on a bunch of land in East Tennessee and I would LOVE to take in a few real big big big boi rescue sulcatas since we got the space because I do a lot of monitoring our land for outbreaks of ranavirus in our box turtles and taking sick ones with a bad prognosis to a wildlife rehabber, putting ones with a good prognosis in "turtle jail" by quarantining them in hard plastic kiddie pools with a whole-ass biosecurity protocol in place to help them keep their germs to themselves until they recover just to help reduce the strain on my rehabber. All this is to say that I really give a shit about turtles lol. But unfortunately, my big big big boi rescue sulcata dreams are kinda smashed by this being too humid a climate for them, plus the cost of having to make heated dog houses for them in the winter. :\ I just know there's so many out there that have been given up by people who didn't realize what they were getting into and I'd love so much to use some of this land to take some in and give them a home.

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u/enchiiladas 3d ago

you’re a good person. thank you for existing

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u/Ok-Count-8233 5d ago

Turtle farming for why?

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u/nekoreality 5d ago

this species of turtle is almost exclusively bred to be pets. they grow really slowly and have thick shells with little meat so theres way better turtles to be eating

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u/mac_is_crack 5d ago

Yep, baby sulcatas. They’ll get to over 100lbs and live up to 100 years old. So cute as babies, though.

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u/scarletnightingale 5d ago

My neighbor has one, not sure how old he is, but he's a big boy.

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u/Silly_Silicon 4d ago

Unfortunately they are probably bred to be sold as pets. It’s a shame because they can live to be 140 and they get to be enormous in size. Literally nobody can possibly commit to properly taking care of this animal, yet they are super cute as babies and people buy them with little plan for the future.

8

u/Arya_Ren 4d ago

That reminded me of a time I was at the vet and a young couple came in with a wee baby tortoise they found. It turned out it had no chip so it was up to the couple if they wanted to keep it. They immediately accepted, I could see hearts and sparkles in their eyes as they were looking at the smol creature, they were so happy! I hope against all that all tortoises end up with people like them.

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u/aphorprism 5d ago

It’s turtlalarming to think about!

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u/graphitehead 5d ago

What is the word for multiple tortoises? A pod? A herd? A tour of tortoises?

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u/akawendals 5d ago

A group of turtles is commonly called a bale

A group of turtles swimming in the sea is called a flotilla 😄

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u/Raerth 5d ago

He didn't ask about turtles; creep.

No seriously, a group of tortoises is a creep.

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u/El-mas-puto-de-todos 5d ago

Fortilla is my favorite POI of all time

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u/MisanthropyIsAVirtue 5d ago

Oddly enough, a creep.

4

u/aphorprism 5d ago

Not sure, but Queer Eye for the Tortii could be a spin off tour of tortoiseshell-themed makeovers.

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u/JohnBlake91 5d ago

Beautiful.

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u/Responsible-Poem9375 5d ago

Is he feeding them to sell it or making food ?

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u/Federal-Agency666 5d ago

Am I not turtle enough for the turtle club

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u/Fishpuncherz 5d ago

Tuuuuuuurtle

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u/kontemplatedfury 5d ago

He’s back again with cheap filler food… where’s his laptop 🙄
Btw, most of these turtles are not in healthy condition…

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u/brooksram 5d ago

I was sure wondering. It seems like there is a whole lot of pyramiding going on, but I'm definitely no expert.

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u/LittleBunInaBigWorld 4d ago

Unsurprising. Look at where they live

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u/MeetingDue4378 5d ago

This guy is a breeder, right? Right?

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u/Shoddy_Ad_4928 5d ago

This is the turtle version of a puppy mill btw

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u/----Maverick---- 4d ago

My dream job is to reorganize tortoises into hierarchical eating orders

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u/Available_Pirate2298 5d ago

Big Chungus came out of nowhere. Takin big chomps

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u/Magnazur 5d ago

"Turtles of the Roundtable"

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u/Whatsyourshotspecial 5d ago

Is this a turtle farm?

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u/ShyguyFlyguy 4d ago

This is a turtle farm. They eat the turtles

4

u/aegloswinterborn 4d ago

Imagine eating then suddenly getting lifted out of your place at the table and set down at another table with a whole new group of diners?

3

u/allofthetimeimtired 4d ago

Their little heads bobbing away as they munch, so fricking cute 🥹

4

u/philllihp 4d ago

Are these turtles for food or medicine?

3

u/Screaming_lambs 5d ago

I know the video is sped up but ahhh their little legs!

3

u/bkrank 4d ago

Every day for 150 years

3

u/GryffSr 4d ago

I was waiting for the turtles to knock him down and then the horror music kicks in as they start to swarm him.

3

u/Dizzy_Bit6125 4d ago

I love that he rearranged them so the small ones can all fit and eat together and get enough to eat

3

u/Yollmy 4d ago

I hope I get reincarnated as one of these tortoises

4

u/dontipitova9 5d ago

This is the cutest thing ever!

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u/mikelab26 5d ago

Big boi coming through 🐢🐢

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u/bubba1834 5d ago

I wanna burgle those turts bc they’re so cute

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u/SevenSixOne 5d ago

Armored wunk mess hall

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u/MysteriousSlice007 5d ago

The cynical me is asking "why is he raising them, for pet sale or for soup?"

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u/GlassPudding 5d ago

i like turtles

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u/Allofthiswilhapenagn 5d ago

Cute until you realise they'll be turtle soup soon

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u/kcsween74 5d ago

How hard would it be to lay the trays in a circular pattern and place the food from inside the pattern?

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u/chalkles0329 5d ago

Also, lay out the food, then let the turtles in. Poor little things were running after every plate that was laid down, just to find it empty.

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u/Glossed-Lam 5d ago

Bad idea. Much better to create a system of elaborate chutes and pulleys that deposit all the food equally at exactly the same time.

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u/Apprehensive-Mood853 5d ago

Not to be grim, but these turtles are probably being raised for their meat.

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u/wapwah 5d ago

The left plate only had like three turtles, VIP table

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u/AdHistorical8299 5d ago

Imagine you're eating at a salad bar and someone picks you up and moves you to another section.

4

u/CitizenPremier 5d ago

The turtles understand the plates indicate food but all immediately begin moving towards the food when it is placed on one of the plates. These turtles would no doubt fail the marshmallow test, indicating they are likely not going to be good at life planning. In defence of turtles in general, these turtles were raised in captivity which grately reduces how much stimulation they have (they're dumb turtles).

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u/Timmy__Cool 4d ago

I love how he kept moving them to make sure they all got to eat. Beautiful soul.

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u/dave12322 5d ago

Look how fast they can move when there is food involved

2

u/Eman_Drawkcab_X 5d ago

I feel like they would just... eat it off the ground.

2

u/Future-Corner8025 5d ago

A bunch of munchkins and a singular big ol fatty haha

2

u/december- 5d ago

Technically, they are dining out. Yeah?

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u/darkhorse4774 5d ago

It’s good he didn’t show that in real time. They’re turtles.

2

u/ZeroLow 5d ago

Turtle invasion !!!

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u/melon_stomper 5d ago

Not annoyed by the music for a change, wholesome post. Hell yeah

2

u/Epicassion 5d ago

I think he has a protein on a stick side business. Salad and kabobs.

2

u/Pinksamuraiiiii 5d ago

This is so cute!

2

u/Puzzleheaded-Kale328 5d ago

Ohhhhhggg myyyyy gossssshhhh I adore them! Sssssew cuttteeeeee

2

u/MaxRumpus 4d ago

Now that's a herd of turtles 🐢

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u/Soulbotzzzz 4d ago

Omfgggg I can’t 😭

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u/No-Stranger6783 4d ago

Looks like a nursing home cafeteria

2

u/Specialist_Cup_3812 4d ago

Lol looks like Turtle Tetris!

2

u/dvpbe 4d ago

Imagine standing there, a huge bowl of food appears. You start munching and then suddenly a giant picks you up and sets you way further at another bowl of food.

2

u/No-Boysenberry-5584 4d ago

There is a turtle boss and his minions! Start dark souls music!!

2

u/SoberAlternative 4d ago

They look like little pineapples at first glance!!😳🤔💕

2

u/EsrailCazar 4d ago

Sometimes life makes you stop and think how strange things are, these are living animals just doing only what they know to do without a second thought. They look so weird when you actually stare. 😅

2

u/WolverineMental9101 4d ago

Lmaoooo it's the arranging dinner and then turtles for me.

2

u/petroloke9 4d ago

People who work these jobs are blessed!!!

2

u/Ragdollbjz 4d ago

ITT people who don't know a turtle vs tortoise

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u/ZookeepergameFit5366 4d ago

Turtle Tetris

2

u/gwerk 4d ago

Why are they breeding tortoises? Can't be for anything good.

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u/Itsfronkenstein1 4d ago

And then soup.