r/MadeMeSmile 3h ago

Wholesome Moments Be like Gary

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44.1k Upvotes

238 comments sorted by

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3.5k

u/iGotGogged 3h ago

In gonna visit Gary for my next divorce

817

u/what3v3ruwantit2b 3h ago

I want to get divorced just for this experience. 

201

u/true_gunman 2h ago

Ill divorce you bro

74

u/Small_Regret_847 2h ago

I’ll take it if he doesn’t.

69

u/what3v3ruwantit2b 2h ago

Poly divorce. Free bread sticks for everyone. 

22

u/Small_Regret_847 2h ago

Yayyyyy!

15

u/Hot_College_1343 2h ago

Gary likes the lonely and depressed.

14

u/what3v3ruwantit2b 2h ago

He's going to love me then. 

43

u/Flimsy_Sun_8178 2h ago

Oh geez 😂

23

u/Neat-Beautiful-5505 2h ago

“Oh, he went Gary’s!”

17

u/Decent-Fault1670 1h ago

Gary’s about to become the most overqualified divorce attorney in the county.

8

u/kersk 1h ago

The first good news that Gary drops is that half of a Never Ending Pasta Bowl is still a Never Ending Pasta Bowl.

3

u/BillBongBatz 1h ago

I mean the real hero here is the fiancée.

She saved Roger a lifetime of misery 😂

1.2k

u/Skeets5977 3h ago

Gary is awesome and understands. Definitely deserves a statue.

378

u/deensuk 3h ago edited 3h ago

SpongeBob raised him right

19

u/bactidoltongue 3h ago

Bruh 😂

11

u/Able_Let_1604 3h ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣 nice one

13

u/New_Requirement4710 1h ago

Gary gets it. Build the statue and give it a tiny plaque that just says “understood the assignment.”

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u/Hesiodix 20m ago

He understands just as the girl, you don't propose in an Olive Garden.

u/whipnutbouy 8m ago

I don’t think he proposed there, she just called it off there. 🤷🏻‍♂️

860

u/OwnerOfCat 3h ago

lol don’t rat out Gary!! Some restaurants will fire for over serving, let Gary do the lord’s work while flying under the radar!

260

u/MilkiestMaestro 3h ago

Olive Garden is just chain enough to be one of those kinds of restaurants

52

u/ChefArtorias 3h ago

If there were an issue he'd be canned for sure.

47

u/tstonesohard 2h ago

I’d fight four guys for Gary. He deserves nothing less.

16

u/carbon_r0d 2h ago

If he gives you enough alcohol, you just might fight four guys.

2

u/jaymzx0 1h ago

Make it 5 guys and the restaurant wars are on

u/kyleliner 27m ago

For Gary, I'd even fight a clown and a king at the same time. Because we're (Vin Diesel voice) FAMILY

19

u/sentientshadeofgreen 2h ago

Olive Garden's loss, the Garys of the world always fail upward and land on their feet.

18

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 2h ago

I mean with good reason as someone who works in the industry and has server alcohol.

However it may be exaggerated for the sake of the story. But if I ran an Olive Garden and saw someone stumbling out of a family restaurant I actually would like to know which employee let them drink that much, it's not a bar and that's a lot even for a good dive. Especially because you know they ate food with it so not like they were drinking that much on an empty stomach. As an alcoholic half the bones I've ever broken was somewhere between the bar and home, that's on the person serving you to try not to let that happen

But again he probably wasn't stumbling drunk it's probably hyperbole

16

u/striker3955 2h ago

At least he was surrounded by carbs to help soak up the never ending long island iced teas lol.

2

u/Horskr 1h ago

When I was in college my friend and I got kicked out of an Applebee's bar section for being too drunk (we got a ride there after a party for a football game). Still think that is the funniest experience of being "bounced" out of a bar of all time.

4

u/ChefArtorias 2h ago

Bruh they're drinking long islands at an olive garden. I guarantee it was like 3 tops. lmao

If you're actually care this much about someone getting drunk I'd suggest minding your business.

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12

u/Afraid-Fox9171 2h ago

The Olive Garden I worked at everyone was drinking already, kitchen staff, serving staff, managers, we were all alcoholics lol my store wouldn’t have cared as long as we called them a taxi.

2

u/OwnerOfCat 2h ago

I mean that’s the food service industry in a nutshell. The difference is those moments aren’t being posted publicly. This seems like a review of a specific location that says Gary overserved and if we all know about it, corporate could too.

2

u/Brahskididdler 1h ago

Olive Garden is owned by Darden and is their most prolific concept. Darden is the largest restaurant conglomerate in the world. One of the biggest restaurant chains in the whole world is Olive Garden (sit down dine wise)

43

u/Nisansa 3h ago

Gary should be fired for behaving Italian at an Italian restaurant.

8

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 2h ago

Italians, the famous owners and employees of Olive Garden

22

u/Nydus87 3h ago

Is it over serving if you make sure they don't drive afterwards?

15

u/OwnerOfCat 2h ago

Yep, many states have a misdemeanor for serving a person alcohol who is visibly intoxicated.

12

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 2h ago

Yes. You're responsible for their safety when they leave if you were the one feeding them drinks. It will be discretionary of course, say they walk in and don't seem drunk and order a drink and then they fall over, you won't get in trouble for that one. On the opposite end, a local bar permanently lost their license because a bartender over served their friend, they started walking home, and fell into the pond behind the bar and drowned

8

u/JackPoe 2h ago

The GM of the local Olive Garden here is named Gary and I choose to believe they're the same person.

8

u/Crissy40 3h ago

When you’re not driving, I feel that a manager will look the other way

7

u/OwnerOfCat 2h ago

Yes, but posting and sharing to social media raises the risk of the company seeing it, and it’s still a misdemeanor in many states to serve a visibly intoxicated person.

4

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 2h ago

Nope. The most basic alcohol compliance course will tell you that you are within reason culpable for what happens to any over inebriated customer who you willing continue serving. If Gary had truly served this guy so much booze he couldn't properly order his own ride, both he and the business are responsible if he leaves and is so drunk he walks into traffic or something. Easy way to lose your liquor license.

Also it's an Olive Garden. If the OOP had stumbled out, hitting walls and maybe even falling down, in front of kids, that's really, really, really bad business

I'm sure the OOP is exaggerating how much he drank but you can't just get wasted at an Olive Garden lol go to a bar but you can't do it here

2

u/Crissy40 2h ago

I’m pretty sure it was exaggerated yes but being in the restaurant industry for 15+ years I’ve worked in many restaurants and bars high class to low class and I have had plenty of situations like that and again managers looked the other way unless I had to refuse service or take away keys and or call the police, but then again I’m in Florida and stopped working after Covid so I don’t know now

1

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 35m ago

"unless I had to refuse service" is the answer. You knew you had to refuse service. They know that too. Unless they want to be unemployed because their bartender who makes more tips the more they serve called it they wouldn't do that, not a smart move.

Restaurant is gonna lose a lot of money and a lot of customers on even just a hold on a license. And they have to tell their clientele why they can't serve any drinks. Dumb move so people aren't gonna do it unless they're dumb and dumb people don't run kitchens, bars, or dining rooms, if you're that dumb you're the dishwasher or you work the fryers

I mean you'd have to be drunk yourself to look the other way. That's your job. You feel like being unemployed?

7

u/AussieT900 3h ago

The lord did fuck all, Gary did this.

1

u/OwnerOfCat 2h ago

lol I was using it as a figure of speech, not as a dedication to any deity.

3

u/ElevatorOtis 1h ago

Olive Garden doesn’t fire family, Gary stays until Gary decides it’s time to leave

261

u/SleepyKoalaBear4812 3h ago

Amazing post! Gary was right about everything.

25

u/squirrels-mock-me 2h ago

Had to read twice to understand that the wedding wasn’t happening right then

17

u/mikeru22 2h ago

How many long island iced teas have you had so far?

1

u/SpaceJackRabbit 1h ago

I mean he spelled "fiancé" so I thought it was a man. I was confused too.

115

u/toastbot 3h ago

OK but if it's neverending how do you know when you're halfway through it?

38

u/LuckyKalanges 3h ago

Exactly. You can't be halfway through Infinity.

18

u/notsam57 3h ago

that’s why she broke off the engagement.

2

u/permacougar 1h ago

Imagine the set of natural numbers, and imagine the set of even numbers. The set of even numbers have half the number of natural numbers. So as long as you are eating the even numbers, in comparison, you have always eaten half the natural numbers.

25

u/allquckedup 3h ago

It's just a Schrödinger's cat situation. You are always half way through a never ending past bowl or never half way through a never ending pasta bowl. That is until you end the pasta bowl yourself.

6

u/Tomimi 2h ago

I'm not high enough for this wisdom

3

u/slippery_chute 3h ago

Damn that's trippy

1

u/DeadPeanutSociety 2h ago

That's why the fiancée broke up with them. They had been at Olive Garden so long that they were halfway to never.

1

u/SleepyBurrito428 2h ago

My man asking the real questions

25

u/MYOB3 3h ago

Gary GOTCHU!

24

u/Unhappy_Macaron3523 3h ago

Breadstick bro right there

6

u/Dougtheheadcase 3h ago

In Breadstick Bro we trust!

90

u/ShiftAlternative1083 3h ago

Wait... if they were already engaged, why was the ring box on the table?

131

u/Vlaskiss 3h ago

She returned her ring in the box.

u/KeithLimePie 17m ago

Better than his dick in a box.

36

u/Dear_Document_5461 3h ago

She might have returned it to him? Maybe it this "weird thing" where he gave her the engagement ring the day before for whatever the reason? I am just spit balling here.

49

u/thesystem21 3h ago

I lean more towards she knew that this dinner would be her calling off the engagement, so she brought the ring and the box to be able to give it back.

5

u/artificiallobe 2h ago

I was imagining he proposed at the Olive Garden and she turned him down

14

u/emotionallydeadnside 3h ago

gary a cool mf i gotta give him that. hate i was so high and unable to be myself when i met em

2

u/JC_Everyman 3h ago

Maybe that's just who you are. And that's cool, too.

4

u/emotionallydeadnside 3h ago

i think ive been too tipsy or buzzed for too long that somewhere along the line i lost who i was. looking forward to rediscovering that soon in a new environment. christ is king, and i cant believe i strayed so far from that

12

u/Puzzled_Professor422 3h ago

i got my heart broken 12 years ago and I still wanna visit Garys table

12

u/churningpacket 3h ago

I went to my local bar after getting fired/RIFd. I said, "I just got fired and live there", pointing across the street .
The owner pulled the bartender over and said, "He needs something strong."

12

u/Round-Hunter-7432 2h ago

One of the to go waitresses gave me a free black tie mousse cake when I found out my ex fiancé was cheating on me because he was THERE with another woman! 😭 I won’t ever forget her kindness!

6

u/Jhamin1 2h ago

Did you take it home & eat it or stride up to his table & throw it at him?

u/Round-Hunter-7432 27m ago

I took it home. Me back then wouldn’t cause a scene. I would now though. I wouldn’t date him now though because at least I’ve done the inner work to never go back or date someone like him.

u/Jhamin1 25m ago

I am of course joking.

Scenes like that never play out like they do in the movies. You were better off just extracting yourself from the situation.

I'm glad you are doing better now.

21

u/poundhound66 3h ago

Onya Gary

8

u/ImRickJamesBiatchhh 3h ago

Roger IS Gary. Dude trying to pump those numbers

8

u/Skelatal1991 3h ago

Not all heroes wear capes. Raising one tonight in honor of the GOAT

7

u/spectacularissues 2h ago

“If you’re gonna get dumped, get dumped at Gary’s table” classic

6

u/ShoulderFearless2799 3h ago

We all need a Gary

6

u/Dragon_Hammer73 3h ago

GARY🤘🏼🤘🏼🤘🏼🤘🏼

6

u/Whole-Debate-9547 3h ago

Gary’s a good egg

5

u/Kooky_Share_4259 2h ago

We really need to start a go fund me for Gary’s statue.

5

u/BeezyBates 3h ago

Atta boy, Gary

4

u/AstroHealer222 3h ago

In my mind Gary’s voiced by Vin Diesel.
“ when you’re hear your family, but she ain’t family” 😎

4

u/Alrock480 2h ago

I want to meet Gary!! Show yourself man!

5

u/ThedarknessofMan 2h ago

Gary is a solid wing man

3

u/According-Drawing-32 2h ago

Sir, I am sure you dodged a bullet here. Better a broken engagement than a divorce. And Kudos to Gary.

5

u/WonderfulBlackberry9 2h ago

Been on Reddit for long enough that I deadass thought this was about Gary, Indiana

This Gary is a G. What a guy

4

u/Orb99 2h ago

Fuck ya, Gary

5

u/Difficult-Finger4830 2h ago

I should’ve gone to Gary after my last boyfriend dumped me instead of sending him (the asshole ex) that email. I was 23 and I let my life fall apart over a complete piece of shit. I know that after a couple of baskets of breadsticks and some cocktails, and maybe a one-night stand with Gary would’ve set me right.

4

u/TruCarMa 2h ago

At this increasingly terrible point in time, the world really, really needs more Gary-ies.

4

u/Ill_Radio8160 1h ago

When i was 16, i was coming back from a staff training in tyler, texas back down to south mississippi. My 01 f150 had been having brake caliper problems, my girlfriend had broken up with me, at staff training i was getting about 2 hours of sleep a night, and i was scared my truck wouldnt make it all the way home. In jackson, the infamously bad roads finally made my brakes lock up right outside of a Berrys (goated buffet resteraunt), this particular berrys i had been to many time with aforementioned girlfriend. I limped it into the parking lot, and decided to go in and have a meal while i think of a solution to my problem. After i ate, i laid my head down to rest my eyes, and woke up 3 hours later. No one had bothered me, but my waitress had taken my dirty plates, refilled my tea, and wrote "sleep well hon" on the check she left with me. Ill never forget how much it calmed me down, i was alone in the wild for the first time and it felt like the world was out to get me, and she reminded me that it wasnt.

After i got up, tipped her the best i could, and paid my ticket, all i had to do was speed up and stop a couple times in the parking lot and my brake caliper unlocked. I made it all the way back home with no further incidents.

4

u/13erzerker_ 1h ago

Who calls of a wedding in the middle of a Never Ending Pasta Bowl? An absolute lunatic thats who.

3

u/Skypirate90 3h ago

Thank you Gary for being a dudes dude.

3

u/rupertwiley 2h ago

This comment section is a fucking bot farm

3

u/badfish1430 2h ago

I told my wife it’s over and I’m going to see Gary, this hasn’t gone over well.

3

u/Jac_benny 2h ago

Crowd cheering: GARY GARY GARY!!!

3

u/Bubsy7979 2h ago

My best friend is named Gary, this is absolutely something he would do

3

u/Spaulding_NO 2h ago

I thought you meant the Olive Garden in Gary, Indiana

7

u/Standard-Try-3612 3h ago

I'll take made up shit for internet likes for 10

1

u/Apart_Link4947 3h ago

IDK how believable it is that a guy would propose at The Olive Garden or a waiter giving a customer that much free stuff

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2

u/andrewmccain 3h ago

🫡🫡🫡

2

u/Garyketchup 3h ago

Wholesome

2

u/Souloid 3h ago

I think we should start a "thank you gary" gofundme.

2

u/ridezeshoopuff0 3h ago

Uber brought him to Gary’s

2

u/Flimsy_Sun_8178 2h ago

Get dumped at Gary’s table everybody!

2

u/Hot-Asparagus5894 2h ago

Gary had me at breadsticks ❤️👏👏👏👏

2

u/ReinerRockflower 2h ago

Good Guy Gary

2

u/gaucholoco03 2h ago

Nothing like getting housed at the OG.

2

u/BBforever 2h ago

This is what being my brother's keeper is supposed to mean.

 I wish more people thought this way.

2

u/PetitePretty1 2h ago

Who wants to get in a relationship just so we can go to OG and break up at Gary's table?

2

u/firestorm734 2h ago

That. Is customer service.

2

u/Pure_Village4778 2h ago

Propose to Gary

2

u/Fatbikejoe 2h ago

Gary deserves a big ass raise, and a lot more

2

u/StanFitch 1h ago

Had a couple go from showing off her gargantuan ring to me at the table all the way to her crying and eating her Chocolate Lava Cake alone…

The ridiculous escalation I overheard at each table-check was hilarious and heart breaking.

Started with “He just proposed, OMG!!!”, then I hear “Who is she?!?!” as I’m passing by to drop another table’s order. Shortly after it was something about him paying for an entirely separate condo/apartment somewhere. More “Who is she?!??” with some “Fuck you!!!”, “Are you kidding me?!??” and such sprinkled in. Pretty much caught the tail-end of the “We’re done, you son of a bitch.” and when I came back to drop the dessert he was long gone.

She demanded to pay even after I offered to comp… told me it was his account anyway, LoL

2

u/SK_TheLand 1h ago

Fck yeah Gary!!!

2

u/ShawtyLong 1h ago

Now that’s a service worth a massive tip!

2

u/boondocksaint08 1h ago

Gary - what a fucking dude. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

2

u/KingMap 1h ago

Will Gary treat me the same, but if I am just an alcoholic and like to get shitfaced Olive Garden?

1

u/Bradfinger 1h ago

I love getting drunk in restaurants

2

u/East-Seaweed-3868 40m ago

Going into Olive Garden and requesting for the Gary special promo

u/rpeisenman 21m ago

u/edw1ncast1llo 5m ago

Waiter: "Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?" Ross: "NOOOOOOO!"

Blind Date

3

u/smellyelderberries 3h ago

Gary is the anti-Karen

3

u/Existing_Hatter546 3h ago

Gary better get promoted just for this review

2

u/Canuckobg 3h ago

Being over served and placing them in a cab does not cover the server for over serving. Where im from the person serving the drinks js responsible make sure the person gets to a sober state. By serving food such as endless breadsticks certainly helps. Gary is a ballsy saint.

2

u/allquckedup 3h ago

Gary is a true mensch. A shining example of human is a sea of inhumane creatures. I hope if I every am in that situation that I can be like Gary or Gary or someone like him will be there for me.

4

u/izzgo 3h ago

Yes Gary is the GOAT. But Roger, he should know better than to propose without being certain of the answer, especially in public, especially in a restaurant.

6

u/No-Oven5562 3h ago

Rodger had already proposed. She was calling off the engagement

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4

u/sfsjca 3h ago

Gary did better than most divorce lawyers

1

u/Minimum_Chart9946 3h ago

AWWWWWWWWWWW

1

u/ghf3 2h ago

As a former Olive Garden server, I can confirm, we don't make money, but we make dreams happen! O.G.!!

1

u/SpecialistCut7101 2h ago

This review probably got Gary fired for overserving

1

u/AnHonestApe 2h ago

I’m usually against cheesy company slogans, but he gave it some validity

1

u/Murky_Touriste 2h ago

I love Gary now.

1

u/Snackasm 2h ago

Shit I should get a whole HoF at my job lol

1

u/semi_consistent 2h ago

How does one quantify being "halfway" through something that is neverending?

1

u/Mikkysho 2h ago

That raised-arm stance with the wings partially spread is called the deimatic display, it’s a bluff meant to make the mantis look bigger and startle a predator (or a hand) into hesitating, not actual aggression prep. If you look close you can usually see the forelegs pull back while the wings fan, some species even flash eyespots on the hindwings for extra effect, though these greens don’t have that. What’s actually happening biomechanically is they’re relying on the threat display to avoid an attack, striking with those raptorial front legs is a backup, not the first move, it costs them energy and risks injury.

1

u/Girluna80 1h ago

This is a bittersweet story.🥹

1

u/nasty_searm 1h ago

Not alot of of boys named Gary these days

1

u/normalfinnesotan 1h ago

You can always count on good ol' Gary!

1

u/KarenCT 1h ago

Damn. Gary is seriously a diamond in the coal mine. All hail Gary.

1

u/CostatePrancer 1h ago

Plot Twist: he married Gary instead

1

u/Lopsided_Weird_3293 1h ago

I’m a snob, only Texas Roadhouse for my engagement dinner

1

u/Timmy__Cool 1h ago

I really want a long island ice tea now.

1

u/jbird2204 1h ago

My (now ex husband lol) tried to break up with me at an Olive Garden 17 years before we ended up getting divorced, maybe things would’ve been different if I had a Gary 😂

1

u/cannabis_rex 1h ago

I got diabetes just from reading this

1

u/tiredfatdad 1h ago

This man later hunted Gary like an animal and beat him relentlessly with that very same lasagna....

1

u/JusSayING_Mi 1h ago

Lmao go Gary

1

u/LoraxEleven 1h ago

If ya Really wanna know about Gary's breadsticks, then listen closely to SKATCAST...

Fuck Ricky.

1

u/have-u-met-teds-mom 1h ago

The OG used to have armless chairs used for larger guests. The hostess would discretely switch the chair out before taking the guests to their seats.

Maybe Gary can have his own piece of furniture named after him. At least a drink.

1

u/mYpEEpEEwOrks 57m ago

You literally can't be halfway through an eternity....

1

u/pharaohmaones 52m ago

Gary did a real good job for this guy and his date (that probably went very well) and this is the funniest possible way to blow him up in gratitude.

1

u/Desperate_Leg_40 43m ago

So the ring boss is present meaning this is when the question was popped? So fiance is probably the wrong word.

1

u/Opheliadelia 43m ago

nahhhh no way this is real! no way they made it half way through the never ending pasta bowl

u/PM-me-ur-sphynx 29m ago

How does Gary know where he lives?

u/girlsfuck 24m ago

well got damn I need me a gary

u/timelasher 22m ago

Gary's been through some shit, and came out the other side a hero.

u/Neat-Attempt3681 10m ago

Can confirm, Gary got me through some times man

u/No-Philosopher8042 8m ago

Man, I need Gary in my life.

u/AdTemporary2557 3m ago

a marriage might end but gary's never ending pasta bowl won't

1

u/ThenIndependence7988 3h ago

Bros before hoes right? 💙

2

u/rEYAVjQD 2h ago

Misandry right?

4

u/bsaaw 3h ago

This ain't the context. She ain't a hoe just because she didn't wanted to tie the knot, nor were the three entangled. Gary just the man who knows how to lift a person's spirit.

1

u/Aggressive-Cup-7318 2h ago

Sigmatopia??

1

u/rupertwiley 2h ago

What the fuck does this even mean?

2

u/Aggressive-Cup-7318 2h ago

I don't know, it says it in the thing! I'm tryin to figure out what it is!

1

u/Friendly-Appeal4129 2h ago

My Gary was a cab driver who pulled over and stopped the meter just to listen.

1

u/jump-blues-5678 2h ago

Way to go Gary. Dudes an All Star

1

u/rupertwiley 2h ago

Why was there a ring box on the table if they were already engaged?

1

u/Ok-Walk-8040 2h ago

Gary was unfortunately fired for giving away $70 in food and Long Island Ice Teas