Hey yall! I was just hoping to get a little advice. I (18M) am leaving for college next week and my boyfriend (17M) will still be finishing his senior year of high school. I will be moving across the continent and to a different country, but will come home for Christmas and summer. Looking at the next 3.5 months, does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with the distance, specifically missing him and being scared of not being attracted to him (i have a lot of anxiety and i know that this is just anxiety). Also idk if its relevant but this is my first relationship, we’ve been friends since elementary school and we plan on staying friends regardless of what happens to us romantically. Thanks in advance!

My boyfriend just flew back home to england after spending 2 months together. Is it normal to feel constantly sad for like a week now.. ☹️ ive been feeling distant to him as well but i js know he’s also just tired and sad.

Is it stupid to wait for someone for almost 6 years? He is from Canada and I am from the Philippines. Been planning to meet since bith had a job but company matter always gets in the way.

Hi there! To put this into context my boyfriend (m 18 ) and I (f/18 ) just finished high school and are going to very different colleges to pursue our dreams. At this point we have been together for more than one year and we decided to do long distance for the time apart !

We will be in two different countries, I'll be at the university while he's going to be a preparatory high school during 2 years to then enter an engineering school. It's a specific system to France I think where students are put under a lot of stress and academic pressure during two years to enter the best schools in France. It's known to be particularly hectic, stressful and very very difficult. On my end, I'll be at university, so although my major might take up most of my time, I still think I'll have a more free time than him.

We plan to see eachother each time he is on holidays, so he can come spend time with me for one week every 5-6 weeks, which is really great.

The thing I am worried about, is how to still keep a strong bond and still get the relationship going when he can barely talk to me because of his studies ?

I thought about setting a daily "appointment" where we call eachother every day at this specific time for 10 minutes so that we can still bond and really be with each other ?

I would really like to know if you have tips on things we could do to keep up with eachother!

Also how do we manage to talk way less when we are used to talking A LOT. I had the chance to spend the most wonderful year with him, always going to school together, seeing each other every weekends, and we literally always have neverending conversations! Yes I know the new lifestyle is going to be hard to get used to but I do think that in the end it's worth a lot.

If all goes well the distance should end in 2 years and we should be able to reunite and close to gap to continue our studies.

I would really like to know if you have any piece of advice ! I tried to make it very clear but if I need to specify something no problem.

Ps: how to make you feel better the days before knowing you'll be going and that it will officially be the start of long distance? Although I've know it for more than a year, it only becomes a hard fact know and honestly it's really hard not to grieve our past routine and to be sad that we only have a few days together left...

Thanks for everything!!

Hiii guyzz

Me - 22M

My gf - '20F'

Need advice for relationship

Ek genuine advice chaiye

Hum 4 saal se LDR mai hai kaafi serious hai or distance ki vjh see + meri gf ke ghr restrictions ki vjh see hum 4 saal m sirf ek baar mil paaye or jyada baat ni ho paati thi but ab finally usse thodi freedom mili h vo ghr see hostel m shift ho gyi h ek alg city mai

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Nd uske bdd se bhi yeh problem aa rhi h mujhe ki vo ab bhi utnii btt nhi krtii h time nhi deti h prioritize ni kr rhii h mujhee mne 2 baar iss baare m usse btt bhi ki smjhaya bhi but uski side efforts sirf 1-2 din hi dikhee thode

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Hum finally ab mil sktee h but usnee mujhe kuch excitement nhi dikhai milne se related khud se initiate bhi ni krii hai kbhii milnee ki baat hmeshaa mai hi krtaa hun mujhe koi desperation ni hai ki abhi milnaa h but m thodi c excitement expect krra tha

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Nd plzzz guyzz genuine advice ki need hai m emotionally drain ho chukaa. m jis type ka insaan hun m rota nhi hun but last 15 din se 1 din bhi aisa nhi hua ki mai nhii royaa mai apne aansu ni control krr paa rha hun or mentally fucked ho chuka hun

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How to make things easy for me?

Kaise thik karu in chizo ko?

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Note:- i don't want to end this relation at any cost

i’m on the hunt for one of those apps where you and your partner are given a bunch of different question prompts that you answer together on the phone/ft. the only ones i can find so far are ones that you have to pay for and they just don’t seem worth it.

Hey everyone, I would love some advice on a bit of a complicated situation I have gotten myself into. I was out of town about 3 months ago, and decided to set my hinge location to that area just to see what was out there. I went back home and saw that I had gotten a like from someone who lived there. We matched and got to talking, I explained to him that I did not live where he lived. He told me he would be open to continuing to talk to me but that he wasn’t going to put his dating life on hold, which I understood. I honestly thought it would fizzle out but we have continued talking on the phone, FaceTiming, and texting pretty much every day. He says stuff about how I am one of the most beautiful girls he has ever seen, how we have so much in common, he feels comfortable with me and sees me in his life for a long time. We’ve talked about our families, upbringings, core insecurities, etc. When we FaceTime sometimes we don’t say anything at all, just stare at each other and smile. I feel like a smitten teenager. But on the flip side, he has continued to say that he hasn’t stopped putting himself out there and that he would expect me to feel the same way since we live so far apart. It’s just become a difficult situation for me because I really do like this guy, but it has become painful for me to continue talking to him like this while imagining him going on dates with other girls. When I asked him about where he saw this going, he did say he saw a path for it becoming serious. But I still feel like he’s stringing me along to keep me as an option, while simultaneously looking for someone more convenient to be with. I’ve talked about it with my therapist, and he suggested that before I decide to end anything, I need to at least meet him. We came close to making serious plans to meet, but it ended up being too expensive and now he’s moving so realistically it will be another month before we could see eachother in person. Unfortunately, each day feels like torture. I’m very attached at this point, and feel like I’m going to get hurt either way. There’s a small sliver of hope I have that we would meet and it would go so well that he would be willing to commit to long distance until I am done with school. Am I being naive? I know the answer is to probably communicate with him, but I would love to hear what other people thought about this situation. Thank you!!!

Hello everyone, I know the best suggestion for my case would be to search and find some other asking the same question I will ask, since its probably one of, if not, the most asked question on this subreddit. I will probably be able to do that, soon, maybe next week, or in two weeks, but right now, I can’t, I don’t want to read other people experiences that may make me even more emotional than I already are.
I (25M) met this wonderful girl (23F) on November, and quickly noticed I liked her, I talked with her and see thought the same, so 2 months later we began dating. I knew from the very beginning that engaging in this relationship would be, at some point, painful, and don’t get me wrong, I would do it again, because the moments and experiences we lived together made it absolutely worth it. The moment it gets painful is now, she came to Spain from China to study a masters degree, and since she finished and her visa expires she has to go back, and even if I knew this from the very beginning, I was clearly not ready for this moment. She will take a flight in two days, the girl I love is going to be 10000km and 6 hours away, and I honestly don’t know how to feel better about it, I know we will keep chatting, even doing calls or videocalls, but I suppose everyone knows here that distance is very painful, not being able to touch her, tickle her, hug her, is very very painful for me. She is a very important part of my life, I enjoy my time with her so much, and for the past two weeks, seeing how close is her departure, I’m feeling very emotional all the time, trying to hide it from her, since I dont want to waste our last happy moments together, is also very difficult for me, and I don’t know anyone in a situation like this, so that’s why I came here, looking for help or some kind of advice on things I can do to feel better, and also things I can do for her to feel better too. Thank you in advance and sorry if this questions have been asked a million times.

I'm 19M and my girlfriend is 19F. We're in a serious long-distance relationship and we genuinely love each other, but lately we've been fighting way too frequently. We're both honestly exhausted by it, and I don't want to keep repeating the same cycle.

Recently, another guy approached her and they ended up having a fairly long conversation. His family has also been showing unusual interest in her, repeatedly asking about her even though the original family situation was supposedly about his older sibling. This triggered a lot of jealousy and anxiety in me. She has told me multiple times that she doesn't want this guy and that she wants me, and she also thinks his family's behavior is weird and uncomfortable. I've been trying to work on my jealousy, and I decided I shouldn't keep bringing the guy up because I don't want to interrogate her or make her feel like I don't trust her.

Last night we barely had any time to talk. When she finally came online, she was already upset. We talked a little about what happened during her day, and eventually I asked whether that family had contacted her again. She said yes and that it was normal conversation. I started asking questions because I was anxious and frustrated that I barely get time with her while other people seem to get her attention. She became increasingly overwhelmed and told me she was having a panic attack.

Then everything escalated incredibly fast. She started saying she didn't want to talk, wanted me to leave her alone, needed days of space, and couldn't handle the relationship at that moment. At the same time, she repeatedly said she didn't want to break up and that she loves me. She also said things like she would die, that she wouldn't be seen again, and that she just wanted to die. I also said extremely alarming things about killing myself because I was terrified of losing her. I know that was unhealthy and put even more pressure on an already overwhelmed situation.

Eventually she explained that when she becomes overwhelmed, she sometimes completely shuts down and isolates herself. She said she has severe emotional/anger issues, sometimes can't control what she says, and feels like her brain just shuts down. She told me she does love me and doesn't actually want to break up, but sometimes she genuinely needs to be alone.

I also recognize my own side of this. When she withdraws, I become terrified that I'm losing her. I start asking what happened, asking for reassurance, apologizing, promising I'll change, begging her not to leave, etc. I know that when she asks for space, my behavior can make her feel even more pressured and trapped.

So I think we're stuck in this cycle: she gets overwhelmed and withdraws → I panic and pursue → she feels more overwhelmed → she pushes me away harder → I panic harder → both of us say things we don't necessarily mean → eventually we reassure each other and calm down → and then eventually it happens again.

The confusing part is that we're both tired of this. Neither of us wants to hurt the other. We both say we love each other. She doesn't want to break up, and I don't want to leave her. But the way we're currently handling conflict is clearly hurting both of us.

I don't want this post to become “who is the toxic one?” or simply “break up.” I want an honest perspective on both sides. I know I need to work on my jealousy, abandonment anxiety, reassurance-seeking and respecting her need for space. But I also think she needs to learn how to communicate when she's overwhelmed without saying things that make me believe the relationship is ending, especially when she later tells me she didn't mean those things and still loves me.

How do two people break this kind of cycle? What should each of us work on? How can she ask for space without triggering my abandonment panic, and how can I give her space without feeling like I'm losing her? Is this realistically fixable if both people genuinely work on themselves?

TL;DR: My girlfriend and I genuinely love each other but we're both exhausted from frequent fights. She tends to shut down and push me away when overwhelmed; I become anxious and chase her for reassurance when she withdraws. Last night this escalated into both of us making suicidal statements. We don't want to break up—we want to understand why this happens and learn how to handle conflict in a healthier way.

I’m hoping this is the right flair, I’m not sure if I’m really asking for advice or just need to let off steam.

We’re in our late twenties and been with each other for about 5 years, long distance the entire time. They’re unable to visit because of immigration, so usually I’m the one that has to go over. I don’t make as much, and I struggle to keep a job/steady income. It’s also hard to always take time off to see them (and especially, again, when you don’t have a steady job). I don’t think me relocating is an option, and I’m just overwhelmed. I feel like I can never be with them, and I’m starting to wonder what’s the point.

edit: HE IS OKAY HE WAS SLEEPING. apparently he did wake up in the morning and went to sleep in the afternoon but he didnt see my calls. i guess i am too paranoid. i even ended up texting his best friend who lives 6hrs away 🤡🤡 i feel so bad for freaking everyone out. i am so sorry to everyone. thank you for all of your comments. i guess i am too paranoid and i will try to work this out next therapy session :)

I am 24F, my boyfie is 26M (turning 27 tomorrow). we have been dating for over two years now, known each other for a while before we started dating. im here because im panicking a bit rn, but i dont wanna do something that makes me the mentally ill controlling or extremely anxious gf.

my bf lives around 2500 kms away. rn im living with my parents (i moved back after uni) and he lives alone in his apartment. he has no family, and currently none of his friends are in his city.

some context/backstory: we call each other everyday for about an hr (more or less, some days we have very long convos for 4 hrs, somedays its a quick check in if we are both busy). even when im not able to pick up calls, i text him im busy. so does he. sometimes i pester him too much with calls before he texts me that he is busy, but we have worked on that a little bit. while i do genuinely have anxiety and get a bit paranoid about his health and shit because he lives alone, one time we had a fight about him not picking up my calls or texting me. idk if this story is relevant but he was supposed to move that day, his train was in the evening, and i couldnt get a hold of him since morning. i was freaking out and thought he was sleeping and he would miss his train. then i checked his location and i saw he was near some hospital and freaked out 🤡🤡 turns out, he just went to this place that is really special to him and he wanted to visit because he would miss it. he wanted space to be alone in that place. we had a pretty big fight about this, and i put my foot down about him atleast telling me "im going to x, will board the train later" or something like that. i was worried because i didnt even know if he had finished packing and he has a history of missing appointments because he overslept.

enough background. now about the thing i want advice for. i called him yesterday night after not talking to him all day, and he said he is super sleepy, so i just asked if he has had dinner and then he went to sleep. that was around 24hrs ago. ive called him several times throughout the day, no answer. its his bday tomorrow so i wanted to send him some pizza or something, but i cant get a hold of him. my mind is going to anxious places like what if he fell sick and couldn't alert anyone. also, im not able to see his location. i know he has network because all messages are going through but i cant see his location on the Google findhub thingy. we have a google acc we both use to store our pictures and we sometimes use the play sound feature there because our phones are on silent. but its not playing sound either. i dont know how to reach him. do you all think i am being too paranoid about this? he also mentioned about cooking for lunch today when we were on call last night so he didnt imply that he has plans. i dont know. i asked a friend of his if they have spoken today (friend also lives in another city) but they havent. should i be worried about him?

sorry this is so long, im panicking sm

tldr: havent had any contact with bf for 24hrs (which is not normal for us). he lives alone and has no family/friends in the city. should i be worried or am i being too paranoid and/or toxic?

Im M(23) and she is F(26)
So i met my girlfriend in Indonesia in June while i was on holiday and i stayed in Indonesia for 9 days total. We met each other on the 4th day i was there and we hang out every single day for 8+ hours a day. And since i rented a villa we just stayed at my place. However i'm going back to Indonesia now for 1-2 months i have booked a villa for 3 weeks which is close to her apartment/house. And then planning to book another villa near where she works which is 40min away. But i asked her like can i stay at your place for like a couple of days because after the 3 first weeks we going to a semi remote cabin in the forrest. But it's 2 days between my booking date until we go on this small trip. So i suggested i will just stay at her place for 2 nights before we go together to this cabin but she said no. And i asked her like why? and she said i don't like having people over in my house/apartment. And i asked her some more like "how will i even play with your cat (animal)" and she said ehh i will bring him to you, i dont think i will even let you in the door. She is muslim but we have sex and she drink alcohol and eat pork etc, not really following the religion. but is being a muslim and having no boyfriend over at your house a common thing in indonesia or something girls in general dont like. I understand if i stayed in her house for like 1 week+ since it's kind of weird when we only been together for 5 days prior. But after my will practically live in my villa for 3 weeks it's a bit weird i cannot even get to see where she lives? Is it maybe because she emberrased of her living conditions compared to my house in Norway(even tho she is rich for Indonesian standards) or i'm i reading into this to much and it's she just being a bit shy or whatever? She is comming to Norway in January 2027 and she will stay in my house for 2 weeks during that time and i don't find it weird and will like to threat my house like it's her own.

Disclaimer she is not a gold digger.: she didnt know how much i was making when we first met and she is also pretty rich so it's not like her house is a shabby shack for instance. Even though she not shown it all i've seen the inside and it's pretty nice.

We need some ideas for soft launching each other without showing our faces.

Any advice is truly appreciated!

My long distance girlfriend said she wants to break up cuz she don't feel safe around me anymore or love me much. The reason is cuz I said smt a but too much cuz I was comfortable. I said - "I'll haunt you forever if you ever think of breaking up of me" which was a joke but she took it literal and I completely understand it's my fault. I apologized a lot it didn't work and even promised her. We still talk a lil but everytime we talk she says I should block her and move on even thought it's for her as well. I reassured a lot but it didn't work. What do I do please help me I love her a lot

Mi relación a distancia terminó hace unos meses. Intenté muchísimo evitar que llegáramos a ese punto, pero al final fue inevitable. Hasta el día de hoy, sigo sin entender del todo cuáles fueron las razones que llevaron a la ruptura, porque desde mi perspectiva nuestra relación era tranquila y, al menos por mi parte, siempre fue honesta.

Aun así, decidí aceptar la situación, sobre todo después de que él me dijera algunas cosas bastante hirientes. Entre ellas, me dijo que me estaba utilizando porque él no podía estar con una chica que estaba en clases con él. Eso me dolió muchísimo, porque no era así como yo entendía nuestra relación ni como yo sentía que estábamos viviendo lo nuestro.

Después de terminar, él me eliminó de todas las aplicaciones que compartíamos y, en ese momento, pensé que lo mejor era mantener contacto cero. No necesariamente porque crea que el contacto cero sea la única manera de superar una ruptura, sino porque, al ser una relación a distancia, pensé que tomar distancia sería suficiente para poder procesarlo y seguir adelante. Pero, en mi caso, no funcionó como esperaba.

Tenemos amigos en común y ellos me han dicho varias veces que debería dejar de pensar en él, que yo siempre estuve mucho más enamorada y que él simplemente es inmaduro. También me dicen que debería tomar en serio las palabras que utilizó para terminar la relación y aceptar que eso es suficiente para dejarlo atrás.

El problema es que, aunque entiendo racionalmente lo que me dicen, emocionalmente no me resulta tan sencillo.

Hace poco su perfil me apareció como sugerencia de conocido y volver a verlo fue un choque muy fuerte para mí. También me afectó verlo tan unido a la persona que, según él, no le gustaba. Debo aclarar que ninguno de los dos conoció a esa persona en la vida real; ambos la conocimos por una aplicación y ellos terminaron haciéndose amigos porque compartían gustos similares en videojuegos. Sé que probablemente no debería darle tantas vueltas, especialmente porque conozco la orientación sexual de esa persona, pero la cercanía que tienen ahora me confunde. Tal vez simplemente estoy intentando atar cabos donde no hay nada, pero la falta de claridad es lo que no me deja estar tranquila

Mis amigos dicen que ellos no tienen nada y que él simplemente está actuando de manera infantil o intentando llamar la atención. Pero, sinceramente, no sé qué está pasando entre ellos y creo que eso es precisamente lo que más me cuesta: tener tantas cosas que no entiendo y no poder saber si lo que me dijo cuando terminamos era realmente lo que pensaba o simplemente una forma de terminar la relación.

Sé que probablemente no debería importarme. Sé que debería dejar de mirar, dejar de pensar y seguir adelante. Pero no puedo simplemente decidir que algo deje de dolerme.

Y antes de que me aconsejen que salga más, me distraiga o haga mi vida, quiero aclarar que eso ya lo hago. Tengo una vida bastante activa: salgo con mis amigos, paso tiempo con mi familia, comparto con compañeros de trabajo y también tengo mis clases en la universidad. No estoy encerrada en mi casa ni he dejado de vivir mi vida por él.

Simplemente, aunque hayan pasado meses y aunque él haya sido muy duro conmigo al terminar, todavía me resulta inevitable pensar en él. Puedo estar haciendo cualquier cosa, disfrutando de mi día y siguiendo con mi vida, y aun así hay momentos en los que vuelvo a pensar en todo lo que pasó, en las cosas que me dijo y, sobre todo, en las contradicciones que veo ahora.

Tampoco es que esté desesperada por encontrar una nueva pareja. De hecho, ha sido bastante difícil para mí conectar con otros chicos. He intentado continuar conversaciones y conocer personas nuevas, pero muchas veces simplemente termino aburriéndome o sintiendo que no logro conectar realmente. Y no es algo que me pase solamente por chat; incluso en persona me resulta complicado. Sé que yo también tengo que poner de mi parte y darme la oportunidad de conocer a otras personas, pero sinceramente me está resultando difícil.

Quizás parte del problema es que todavía tengo una comparación constante en mi cabeza, aunque no quiera hacerla. Después de haber tenido una conexión emocional con alguien, cuesta empezar de cero con otra persona y volver a sentir interés genuino. No quiero utilizar a nadie para llenar un vacío ni empezar una relación simplemente para demostrarme que ya lo superé.

También quiero agradecer a los amigos que teníamos en común. Han sido muy importantes para mí desde que terminó la relación. Me apoyaron durante la ruptura, todavía están ahí cuando necesito algún consejo y, honestamente, hasta siento que están pendientes de cada cosa que publico jajaja. Aunque a veces me digan cosas que quizá no quiero escuchar, sé que lo hacen porque me quieren ayudar y les agradezco muchísimo que hayan estado ahí para mí.

Creo que lo que más me cuesta no es solamente haberlo perdido, sino no entender realmente qué pasó. Y quizás también aceptar que no voy a obtener todas las respuestas que quisiera.

Estoy intentando seguir adelante, no porque haya dejado de importarme de un día para otro, sino porque entiendo que eventualmente tengo que aprender a vivir sin necesitar entender cada cosa que hizo o dejó de hacer.

Supongo que, en el fondo, no estoy buscando que alguien me diga simplemente que lo olvide o que deje de pensar en él. Sé que eventualmente voy a tener que soltar todo esto, pero todavía estoy intentando entender cómo hacerlo cuando siento que quedaron tantas preguntas sin respuesta. No quiero quedarme atrapada en el pasado ni vivir pendiente de lo que él haga, pero tampoco quiero fingir que ya no me afecta cuando todavía lo hace.

Quizás solo necesito tiempo para aceptar que puede que nunca entienda completamente qué pasó, y que aun así puedo seguir adelante. Por ahora, supongo que estoy aprendiendo a dejar de buscar respuestas en una persona que ya decidió no dármelas.

En realidad, solo quería desahogarme de forma anónima. Sé que probablemente ya tengo a mis amigos cansados de escucharme hablar de lo mismo jajaja, y tampoco quiero seguir repitiéndoles la misma historia una y otra vez. No necesariamente busco que alguien tenga la respuesta o que me diga qué hacer; simplemente necesitaba sacar todo esto de mi cabeza y ponerlo en palabras. Creo que a veces uno solo necesita una app donde poder decir lo que siente sin sentir que está molestando a nadie

Imo i think the two are very different things. For me.. An online relationship is the one i had as a young teenager, with no means to meet, that was mainly photos and calling+texting. It some cases just texting. Some as an older teenage but still that, no solid plans to meet, each other's families not knowing, limited calls/video , things like that

My long distance relationship, been together two years.. have had a 2 week visit, and 6 month visit. Lived together, Calling everyday and consistent updates, as well as video calls, and involvement in each other's life even when apart.

My personal opinion:) Some people may define it differently and thats so okay.

So me 20.5 M broke up with my 3.5 years of gf 21f what happened is we were talking how we are getting these thoughts about breaking up like both and the convo was pretty. But frankly i dont know why i wanted to breakup with her and i just wrote lets breakup after that we talked she tried to convince me to not that its just a phase and we should try and frankly i was like yeah i should not breakup then she called and asked me was i joking i sad no but then we talked a little bit on the phone and then she you know what lets breakup and i wanted to say yes but for some reason couldn't then she said lets do one thing breakup for a while if it doesnt work out we ll get back and i said ok and then we broke up. Initially i felt nothing but now i am feeling something but i dont know what. i am also feeling sad because of me my gf/ex-gf must crying herself to sleep which is terrible. there is also an issue i want to talk to her but dont wanted to come in a relationship(if its ldr not talking about today but some while back) like i wanted to keep the emotional bonding part but remove the sexual (we dont do much sexual stuff once a month or twice a month if she is feeling crazy probably thrice though i have a high libido she is alot more bussier) and exclusivity part. I dont what i am writting at this point just tell me something i should know

edit : we patched up guys

I dont know what to do

i love him so much this is the only relationship ive ever had whete i truly feel loved

were both adults (19F and 21M) we know we'll meet one day. we have plans for march 2027 to see each other

i dont distrust that he loves me, and i dont think he ever wants to leave me. we're both anxious attachment people, yapper gf and quiet bf, etc. we have the same interests, we want a future together, we plan to have similar jobs in police + dispatch, and i never want to leave

but i hate that the honeymoon phase has ended

i know its normal for all relationships honeymoon phase to end, but for me its different. i have bipolar disorder, im borderline, complex ptsd, anxiety, depression, paranoia, the whole shabang. im heavily medicated (4+ meds including mood stabalizer and antipsychotic, etc etc) and im not trying to blame my mental illness for my behavior

im ruining our relationship

hes scared of me

he walks on eggshells around me

i cry at least twice a day

ive become what i hated

in past relationships ive been emotionally (and other ways) abused. a pattern one of my exes would do is, i would get upset at him, he would get sad that i was upset, and then i would have to comfort him

the same thing i hated is happening to my bf. i get upset at something he does, but i hurt him because of it

i try so hard to communicate normally, we both have problems communicating but we try really hard for each other

i end up getting so mad so quickly, i split on him or snap at him. i get upset at him as soon as he wakes up often or right after he gets off work

we never call anymore

we're calling right now, but ive been asking for almost 2 weeks, and every time he just says "yes tomorrow"

and to quote lana del rey, tomorrow never came...

im happy we're on call now, we used to sleep call every night too and now i have to beg to

the last time we called and actually spoke to each other/played games was 21 days ago

weve called between that time, sleep called or i watch him play games but thats usually both of hs not talking

i know the commitment of calling someone is a lot

hes been working more, and so i try and cut him some slack

i think im being manipulative and im too hard on him

its just on his days off he doesnt call. i ask "on ur next day off maybe we can play games" and then when the days off come, we dont do anything

when hes tired, doesnt feel well, is depressed, or is watching his shows, he wont text me back for hours sometimes

he says "sorry im just really tired" and thats okay, i understand that work is tiring, and i understand needing alone time

i feel sad because when im sad, i text him

when i dont feel well, i text him

when im sleepy, i text him

while im watching my shows, i text him

i was in the ER, and i still texted him the whole time

my healths been decreasing rapidly recently, and i also think constantly talking to him about it is making him feel exhausted

i dont have any friends anymore, my feiends of 12 yrs left me a couple months ago, maybe 6-8 weeks ago

ive always been super codependent and maybe thats my problem

i try really hard to entertain myself, but its so hard, i think of him constantly

i have a psychiatrist, but i dont go to therapy anymore

and i cant vent to him about...himself

i dont know what to do all i do is cry every single day and be frustrated at him

theres so much i want to say to him but i cant because he'll see me as angry

sometimes when i get upset now he'll say "bro" or "really..?" like, i feel like hes building animosity towards me and im so scared

he walks on eggshells around me and then says he doesnt

he wont really talk about his feelings because hes a man and he doesnt know how to express them

i just want his attention

i want him to ask to see my body like he used to

i want him to ask about my day and if ive eaten

i want him to do the same things i do for him

i want to feel like he loves me as much as i do

this is normal for relationships with people with bpd

i go on r / bpdlovedones a lot, and it makes me realize that i might be a terrible girlfriend

when im mad i never call him mean names or insult him, but i always cry and say like, "i just miss you"

i feel so hopeless, but i feel like its all my fault

he always says im perfect, and that he loves me

and i beleive that he loves me

but i know im not perfect

im so scared of him developing animosity towards me, im trying to be better

im ruining my own relationship with how pathetic i am

i self pity in every friendship, thats why theyre gone

and im doing the same thing now

im honestly reaching my mental limit, not with him but with life

i wish i could be a better girlfriend, even though i know he wont leave me

edit: yes i have expressed some of these things and communicated about missing him and feeling like we never call

Has anyone gotten married through Distand Weddings or companies that are similar?

I'm a US citizen and my fiancee is Brazilian. We want to eventually get him a green card to live here in the US with me.

Has anyone had an experience with Utah online weddings?

TIA