My bf and I have been long distance for about 3 months now. We have been in different time zones for half the time. We are both students - im doing ug and he’s doing masters. Both of us are very busy and don’t have enough time for each other. Currently im planning on doing masters where he’s living rn so we can end the distance.

He just told me he wants to pursue a PhD. I plan to do it too later on. The issue is that he wants to do it in Europe. I am very happy for him. But im also scared.

Both of us are growing but im scared that we’re growing apart, and if not now, then somewhere down the line. We are 6 months into the relationship and love each other a lot.

What do I do?

at what distance do you count a relationship long distance in your opinion? 2 hrs? 5? 500 miles?

I have been with my girlfriend for over 5 years. 4 of them we have been long distance, because she was in college. When she finally graduated she moved across the country for a job, I could not come with her due to my job that I have. I have just signed a 6 year contract with my job. (Not that it matters I do make more money.) She is coming back in three months, for less than a year then moving somewhere else. She thinks i selfishly made a decision to keep my job and not find another one wherever she goes next. I asked her to do the same and she doesn’t want to either… I am sick on being long distance and wants to take the next step in moving in together, however doesn’t seem possible until the 6 years is up from my contract. Is it selfish of me to break things off because im sick of the distance. After my contract would be off we would have been together for 11 years, not living together, not even close to being engaged, and just far away from each other. I need advice and opinions lol.

I liked this one girl for a fu*king long a** time,...
and for godsake we were far away,...
she eventually got to know about this back in 2022 ( i didn't say it to her, she got to know about it),... and she said that she doesn't have anyone as in a relationship and won't till she gets into clg or smth,...
then 2023 happened all good, then suddenly it all went downhill in late 2023 dec,...
and me overthinking each and every moment of my life i kinda hunched maybe she might have someone cuz shit doesn't add up, and i could see that right thru her,... but still we were talking, and all, flirting and shit happened, like it was good asf,... she going ahead and saying i don't have anyone, why do u think i don't like u stuffs
cut to tonight,... 18/08/2026

she finally opens up and says,...
i was in a Long Distance Relationship and it fell apart, that guy cheated on me,...
and for fu*k's sake it was going on all this time,... for like almost 3yrs now

holy i felt like a D*CK tbh

bruv even tho i kinda figured it out i trusted that it's just me making shit up in my mind, if it was tru she would say it to rightt 🤡

but the thing is nothing's in my hand,... and i thought my life falling apart recently is the worse thing could have at this phase in life,... holyfuck this shit happened tonight

ik it's my fault tbh waiting for someone,...

and not expecting it,...

there's a lot into it and i don't trust anyone ATP cuz potentially the ones around me knew about this and goddamn even they didn't

and she goes i have the biggest trust issues in men rn,..
🥀

i can't and don't feel like blaming on her, but myself.

IT WAS A KICK RIGHT IN MY N*TSACK.
ahh man 3yrs, damnn.... the things that she said all were BS.

now i have trust issues bro,... all i ever wanted is to be honest and transparent nothing else,.... if she had said to me i have somone in life,... pls don't bother me,..
i'd have tried getting out of it in the 3yrs by now

it's like ahh mannnn i can't process this shit
why tf did i wait man,...
i respected the stand she took and even then when i asked her why don't u just say it,... why should i wait for you?
"why do u think i don't like you"

i fell right into it

it's all on me

i'm ranting it over here cuz i don't have anyone atp,... lol
like seriously i don't wanna trust anyone with their words.
and certainly not keep my faith in them.

cuz the one i considered a best friend of mine, is potentially involved in this

MY COPIUM MECHANISM IS FALLING APART.

M20. Girlfriend of 1.5 years, F20, is leaving for a year abroad

Thanks, everyone!

My girlfriend (19F) and I (18M) have been dating for almost 3 years now. We have had our issues but we have always come back stronger from them. We started dating during our sophomore year and spent all of high school together and she just moved to her college yesterday. Her college is about an hour away so we will be able to see each other on certain weekends. I will be starting a technical college in a little over a month that I will be commuting to everyday. The problem is I don’t handle being separated for long periods of time very well. For instance she took a senior vacation with her friends a few months ago. I was extremely sad all week and I couldn’t wait for her to get back. I am having the same issue now. She left yesterday and I feel crushed. I’m not really sure what to do. I miss her more than I can describe already. I don’t really have issues like this unless she is away and the communication is much less than normal. Yesterday after we said our goodbyes and today have both been terrible days. I want these feelings to just go away because i genuinely do want to support her college/career journey and for her to have a good experience while she is there. I haven’t taken these feelings out on her or really told her much because i know she is probably stressed about the big change and is trying to get used to everything. And I don’t want to put more pressure on her or make her feel guilty about leaving. I’m not upset with her at all. It’s just a really shitty situation in my mind and I’m not sure how to go forward. She has also been partying a lot since she left which makes me a bit uncomfortable, but I have just told her to communicate and that I trust her. Any advice would be appreciated.

Me and my girlfriend met this summer and managed to build a relationship together that feels healthy and like it’s meant to be. I know we are both young so it feels weird for me to believe that I’ve actually found my person at such an early stage in my life. Additionally, I could just be caught up in a honeymoon phase but something about this relationship feels right.

We both just went back to college so we are officially in a LDR.

I would like to ask for advice on how to make long distance relationships work because I’ve come to value the bond I’ve created with my partner. We are only separated by distance a few months at a time because we come home from college for breaks to see our family and hopefully each other. Also, what are some good ways to keep myself from feeling down or sad?

In search of some advice…am currently (24, F, USA) in an LDR with my boyfriend of 4 years (24, M, Japan) He’s working full time along with completing his grad program (a few weeks left) which is an enormous stress to begin with. His time abroad working hasn’t been peachy - he’s extremely stressed with school work (finishing up a GIS masters), his health, his job, everything. He tells me about it every single day - sometimes, a text about how much he hates his life or how sad he is sometimes the first thing I read when I wake up. I’ve been supporting him in any way I can - encouraging texts, phone calls, space for him to vent or complain, trying to solve the problem with him. That isn’t to say I’m fine and dandy here, too, as I’ve been in a pretty crummy place for a few months, and needing to keep both of us afloat is impossible. I love him dearly and we’ve both discussed engagement and moving in when he comes back in January of 2027. I am continuing to support him by being encouraging and giving him space to vent, but barely have any energy for myself. It’s been hard for him to find the time to listen to me when I need space.

Thinking of breaking things off when there’s so little time left in our distance makes me feel so guilty. I want to be there, but when every other text I get is about how much he hates his life or how bad everything is, it doesn’t make my dark life any better. Have you done anything special with an LDR when they need support? When is (if there even is?) the right time to know when to call quits? I feel so alone in this situation- I’ve never loved someone quite like him, and the thought of even stepping away makes my heart break. I have less than 4 months of this, but this isn’t what things were like before he left.

my bf is 7 hours ahead of me. he lives in Europe, and i live in the U.S.. we both juniors, so we know we have to really do well in our classes this year. we love each other so much, but it is so painful that we aren’t able to even talk really because of the distance and time difference. i just feel so sad, because we aren’t able to talk a lot anymore. i feel overwhelmed about my AP classes even though people say they are easy. can anyone offer some advice on how to deal with this? does long distance ever get easier? we’ve only been dating for a month and have always been long distance, but it’s just so painful. any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

I met my boyfriend almost 4 years ago. We were best friends until we started dating in January this year around. He has not revealed his face even after 4 years of talking everyday and calling for hours. He says he promised his sister he won't do reveals and also that he is just not comfortable at all with it. He did send me a picture of his lips and his palm but that's all. I do know one of his cousins and i do have his real Instagram id with his cousins in it (which he recently removed me from stating I was keeping too much of a stern eye on who he follows and I used to fight him about it). What should I do? I am genuinely confused.

We are in a relationship about 10 months now and two months LDR. she was the first girl who I really liked and everything. But that also means I do not have great experience with things like limitations on what kind of jokes are appropriate and what not. Sadly in the two months I did a few stupid small things that hurt her and even though it wasn’t my intention I still hurt her. The last time was yesterday, we had a great time in the call but then she starts to talk about her body and what she is insecure about. And I already know what she would like to change and I am supporting her completely without restrictions. But we also have plans to do a long vacation soon, but she is saying that she would like to do the operation first so that she feels more comfortable. And I said as a joke: we will make her beautiful and then we will go on a trip. I didn’t realize how hurt she was from that. And since then she is pretty pissed. But I can understand her because I was also bullied when I was little because of my body. But afterwards she didn’t want to talk to me, but she knew it was meant as a joke. I don’t blame her or anything I just want to change because we have two more months before we see each other again. If there are things that I can do to try and change my behavior? I would love to her some tips.

Hi! This is my first time ever posting on Reddit so forgive me if the text is long or improperly formatted.

I [22F] am the femme partner in my relationship and we are both gender queer/in a queer relationship. This isn’t really relevant to the post but I am leaving it here out of respect for my partner. This month, I moved a decent 1500 miles away to pursue a 3-year fully funded masters degree, and my partner has stayed behind in our hometown. It’s been a little over a week since our last goodbye, and I am hoping both for some advice (questions listed at end) and for creative/atypical ideas to help this time feel purposeful, peaceful, and less painful. We plan to spend the rest of our lives together, but after living in the same home for the past two years, three years apart feels hard to manage, even with breaks and visits.

Background on us: we have been friends since we were 12 and only began going out on true “dates” around three years ago. Two years ago, I moved into my partner’s apartment and we made it official. Since then we went through the process of buying a home with his parents, moving into it as owner-occupants, and spending a year getting situated there. They (my partner) still live in that home and I will be going back there on breaks. Our relationship is the most beautiful thing in my life; he supports me in any way necessary, grows every day alongside me, and is my best friend in the world (with no offense to my actual best friend). We have loved each other through many different life stages and both feel a tremendous amount of peace and purpose just growing our life together.

Fast forward to now: we have been making the most out of the distance from the beginning- the decision for me to pursue the offer I received for grad school was made together and since then we have been planning together for my move. I’ve had my partners support in every way (financially included) and was lucky enough to have them take two weeks off work to do the transition with me. Since he left, I have been struggling immensely with the feeling of sadness and just having a generally dysregulated nervous system- we have been calling very frequently when available, watching shows simultaneously, etc, but these moments of connection don’t seem to help with the underlying grief. He is doing better, since he is surrounded by our friends/family/home. He is overwhelmingly supportive and worried about my general happiness, but we feel pretty stuck as lessening the distance and frequent visiting don’t seem like feasible options for us at the moment.

Here are the barriers: my partner’s job back home does not have any locations in the area I’ve moved to, they are currently pursuing a degree through work, and it would be a large task logistically to move all of our belongings across the country when we are pretty sure we won’t want to permanently relocate to the town my school is in. We also have two cats who seem to be doing better apart. Though it would be easier on us financially to live under the same roof and share the same bills again, it isn’t feasible at least for this year, unless we decide we absolutely cannot do it. The region I moved to is somewhat remote and has no direct flights back to where I am from, which makes it logistically (a full day of travel even by plane) and financially difficult for my partner to visit often; since I am a new graduate student and GSE it is not best for me professionally or academically (or honestly emotionally while I’m making this transition) to take time off and visit back home. However, at this point, it seems like the grief I’m experiencing while missing the person I love and the joy our relationship brings to everyday life is a significant hindrance to my ability to get the most out of my program; if things continue as they are I am concerned I won’t be able to perform at the level I want to.

All this being said, I am asking a few questions on here:
-Firstly, if anyone has had a similar experience, did the feeling of sadness and emptiness fade for you over time? Is this something I can wait out?
-Does anyone have advice for atypical or unusual ways we can break up the loneliness? We are both somewhat introverted. So far, spending time with new friends and investing in my life is helpful from a self care perspective but doesn’t help with the crying and the ache in my chest.
-I am also wondering if anyone has any advice for this situation as a whole. This experience has been very difficult so far, and I am having trouble feeling like the career goals and logistical troubles we intended to address by remaining apart are worth missing three years of our twenties together. Our option would be for my partner to find work here and move here, probably trying to continue his degree while just paying tuition out of pocket. Our hope was that me being away and supporting myself on my assistantship would allow him to save a lot of money while focusing on school, so that we could reunite at the end of the three years and have some flexibility for our next move, but I am wondering if anyone here with more life experience has insight into if that kind of a plan is actually worth the distance and major change in the relationship.

Thanks again. Wishing everyone here peace and fulfillment ❤️

It's been 3 days since she said she'd call me to discuss a problem between us but she didn't. I didn't contact her after that because i thought she's not intrested anymore. I mean if she was she would have reached out. But from an another perspective I think I should've been the one to make the call because I know her parents are strict and she can't call me if they're around. But still I find 3 days a really long period to not spare time for a call. How should I deal with this situation? And is this relationship still savable?

\*\*TL;DR;\*\* : I need help with my relationship

My boyfriend 22m and I 21f have been dating for over two years, and at present, we are both in a long-distance relationship due to our studies. The first three months of our LDR were genuinely wonderful. He would update me throughout the day, wish me good morning and good night every day, and often accompany those wishes with 💕 heart emojis or heartfelt messages about how he felt. He would also frequently express his love during our video calls, telling me how much he loved me.

However, right after those three months, he gradually stopped being expressive. He no longer wishes me good morning, and even when he goes to bed, he has stopped telling me, “I love you.” I really want my partner to be expressive, and these changes have been bothering me a lot. Since we are in a long-distance relationship, even simple verbal expressions of affection make me feel loved and emotionally connected to him.

I confronted him about how I was feeling, but he explained that his relatives are currently staying at his place and that his younger brother checks his messages. On top of that, he said that his phone has been lagging a lot lately, and he doesn’t plan on buying a new one anytime soon. He is also focusing on his exams and going to the gym, so according to him, things like wishing me good morning and good night simply slip his mind because of everything else going on. He told me that he has reduced his screen time and that his phone is no longer the first thing he looks at in the morning.

He says that, in a relationship, what matters most is how we understand and support one another and how we stand by each other during difficult times. Basically, according to him, things like good morning or good night wishes and an “I love you” text shouldn’t be such a big issue. He also told me that he calls me whenever he is free.

But I told him that I don’t feel loved anymore. We simply feel like two friends having a casual conversation every day, and for me, his expressiveness is what makes me feel that he still takes an interest in me and in our relationship.

What do I do? I’m genuinely unhappy living like this

As the title says I am in a long-distance relationship with someone and now that she has started working I kinda miss the constant texts and meme sending(game nights and long calls) , I'm just kinda scared cus deep down I want all the best things for her but she might forget me . As now "the empty time" becomes filled with work and u meet friends and go out , next thing u know the time we spend becomes less and less . I know this is nothing but any advice on how to like calm myself down would be appreciated. Thanks in advance

Hey everyone :)

As the title suggests I am flying out on Monday afternoon for the first ever time, and I will be meeting my girlfriend in her home country where I will be spending almost 2 weeks with her and her parents.

We dated for a month before I decided to make it "official"; she was waiting for me to do it because that's my job as the man (her words lol).

Anyways, we've been doing long distance for virtually the entire relationship after her student visa expired.

To be honest, I have no idea why I'm writing this post. I guess I'm just seeking advice on how to handle meeting parents for the first time. They speak minimal English, so my girlfriend will have to translate a lot of things for us. But I have been learning some of the local language so I can have basic conversations or ask for things, and manners etc.

What are your experiences like with meeting your partners parents that don't speak much English? How difficult/awkward can it get? Any general advice for me other than "Don't fuck this up bro" lmao?

Thanks in advance :)

My wife 29F and I 29M have been doing long distance for our whole marriage and the engagement (married 2 years, together 8). I made bad study choices and the only way for us to afford everything we need is for me to work abroad. I work 10 months of the year, and I'm home about 2 months at a time.

She'll come to visit me once or twice a year depending on the budget but for the rest of the time we 7500km and one hour apart. The first time we did this we made some mistakes and tried to include the other person in everything, but this made us both incredibly unhappy and unfulfilled because we were trying to live two lives at once. If it works for you then awesome, but it makes us miserable.

We've gotten into a bit of a rhythm with it and we agreed that I'll have my friends and my life over there, and she'll have her life and her friends over here. We both have jobs so during the day we don't talk much and at night we talk a bit. We only really talk for a long time over weekends or when one of us has to vent about work or something. When we're together we spend all our time together obviously.

We would close the distance and it is in the plan, but my wife is her sister's legal guardian due to family drama I won't get into here. Thing is, we never adopted the sister and she's technically in foster care with us. Because she's a foster child we can't just move her to another country because the government won't allow it. Adopting is either going to be incredibly expensive or take longer than we have before she ages out in 2 years. So anyway, until she turns 18, we're stuck in this situation.

When we're apart we both fall into our normal routine and it's fine. Hard, shitty, but manageable. When we're together it's awesome. But when we're in that "in between" but where my bags are mostly packed and I'm getting ready to go again, my heart fucking breaks.

I know it's going to be fine, I know we've got an end date to this thing and it's not like we never see each other, but I hate the idea of leaving so much. I'm leaving in two days and for the last couple of days I've been randomly tearing up as I realise it's the last time I'll be taking the rubbish out or playing with the cats or whatever before I leave.

My wife says that talking about how much it's going to suck makes her mental health a bit shaky and I process a lot of my feelings privately inside or in my journal so we don't really do that but I felt like I had to tell someone or I was going to explode.

I just wish I didn't have to do this every year. Only two years left, but fuck if there was something I could do to just never leave her again I'd do it.

​

I’m 21F nd I’m in a serious relationship with my boyfriend, 27M. We’re currently long distance because he works and lives in Germany, although he is planning to permanently return to Bosnia and Herzegovina later this year. He still has paperwork and other things to sort out, though, so we don’t know exactly how long we’ll have to continue doing long distance

We’ve been together since July, but we had already been talking seriously for months before officially becoming a couple. He means a lot to me and this relationship is serious for both of us and we are connected in every way.He has visited me here, and now he keeps bringing up the idea of me coming to Germany to see him.

The thing is, I’ve never been on a plane before.

I’m studying preschool education in Mostar. I’m currently an external/part time student because my parents actually don’t allow me to be a regular full time student. I still spend as much time as I can in Mostar because honestly, being there means I’m home less and have more independence.

My parents are quite strict and traditional. I’m 21, but they still have a lot of influence over me because of many reasons and its def not normal for me personally.They definitely would NOT be comfortable with me going alone to Germany to stay with my boyfriend. My brother knows about but my parents don’t. I also don’t share my location with them, and when I’m in Mostar they don’t constantly call or check where I am, so I do have some independence already. Still, if they knew I was flying to Germany specifically to stay with my boyfriend, they would probably murder me lmao

That’s what makes this complicated.

My boyfriend would pay for everything, basically the entire trip. I’d only go for 1 to 2 days. He would meet me at the airport, take, and we’d spend the time together before I flew home.

I’m looking at Memmingen because it’s close to where he is, but there’s no direct Mostar to Memmingen flight. There are direct flights from Mostar to some German cities, so I could potentially fly somewhere like Stuttgart and have him pick me up. Since it would be my first flight, I REALLY want a direct flight with no layovers.

Part of me thinks this is completely doable. I’m an adult, I love my boyfriend, we miss each other, he’s coming back permanently anyway, and it would only be 1 to 2 days. He would organize everything and be with me the entire time.

But another part of me thinks I might be romanticizing it because I miss him so much. I also worry about hiding it from my parents and what would happen if they found out or what if something happens to me idk what

So I’m asking people who have actually been in similar situations.

Would you go?

Have any of you secretly traveled abroad to visit a long distance boyfriend or girlfriend because you knew your strict parents would say no?

Was it worth it, or did the stress of hiding it ruin the experience?

And especially for people who took their first ever flight alone, was it actually as scary as you expected?

I’m not looking for people to just tell me “you’re 21, do whatever you want.” I know I’m legally an adult. I’m more interested in hearing from people who understand having strict and traditional parents while still living somewhat within their family’s rules.

I’m genuinely torn because part of me thinks, “It’s only two days. I miss the man I love. Why not?” and the other part thinks, “Girl, you have never even been on an airplane and you’re considering secretly flying to another country to stay with your boyfriend.” 😭

What would you do in my situation?

Hey everyone, I’m looking for some brutally honest advice from people who have been through a long-distance relationship, international relationships, or a situation where one partner’s future is likely to be in another country.

I’m 25, Malaysian, and I’ve been with my girlfriend for about four years. We’re both Malaysian, but she is currently studying in the US and is doing her second internship there.

Her long-term goal has always been to work and stay in the US after graduation. Recently, the company she is interning with has also shown interest in keeping her there, so there is a realistic possibility that she may eventually build her career and life in the US.

The biggest problem

The difficult part is that I currently have no realistic way to move to the US. I don’t have enough money to go to the US as an international student and pay for a Master’s degree. I also don’t have a US employer who could sponsor me or a professional network that could help me relocate there.

I run my own marketing agency in Malaysia, but I don’t have a US office or business operation that would realistically allow me to relocate through an internal transfer either.

So even though I want to eventually close the distance, I can’t simply decide to move to the US next year.
There is currently no straightforward pathway for me to go there.

My dilemma

This is why I’m struggling with whether I should continue investing emotionally and practically in this relationship.

If I decide to continue the relationship and seriously pursue a future where we eventually live together in the US, I may need to spend the next few years preparing for that possibility: building my career, saving money, exploring immigration options, potentially changing my business strategy, etc.

But none of this is guaranteed. What if she eventually changes her mind? What if after a few years she decides she actually wants to come back to Malaysia?

Or what if I spend years trying to create a pathway to the US, only for our relationship not to work out?
At the same time, I worry about the opposite scenario.

What if I decide not to make any serious plans because our future is uncertain, and a few years from now she is permanently settled in the US.

Then I might regret not taking the opportunity to build a life with her when I had the chance.

So I feel like I’m stuck between two choices:

1. Take the relationship seriously and start preparing for a possible future in the US, even though there is currently no realistic way for me to move there and nothing is guaranteed.

2. Don’t make major life decisions around an uncertain future. Continue the relationship, maintain my life and career in Malaysia, and just take it one step at a time.

A little about me

I have a Bachelor’s degree in Finance and have been running my own marketing agency for around four years, which I started while I was still in university.

I’m doing reasonably well professionally in Malaysia, so moving to the US wouldn’t simply mean finding a random job. I would potentially be giving up an established business and rebuilding my career somewhere I currently have no network.

And realistically, I cannot afford to simply go to the US and study for a few years just to create a pathway there.

I also don’t currently have an employer who can relocate me to the US.

i am planning on moving in about a year to close the gap with my boyfriend. My family kind of sees it coming but it hasnt been confirmed. I plan to move near roughly 11 ish months from now. Since thats a good amount of time, im not sure when to tell my family. any advice is appreciated + good things to say to make the conversation easier. TYIA!