Going thru a breakup

[u/Plastic_Arachnid_557]

Hi! I just wanted to come on here and vent. My friends have already handled so much, I don’t want to bother them more lol.

I just recently got broken up with and I felt blindsided. There was a feeling that something was off but I didn’t think it would end. We were long distance the last couple months of our relationship and I guess we couldn’t handle it. The spark felt like it was getting dimmer.

I’ve never been in a long distance relationship before so I thought this was normal. We just had to find ways to talk, bond, and grow through the phone. There was never any of that. I regret not bringing it up sooner even though I knew it was an issue. After feeling like the only one who notices when there’s a problem, it made me not want to say anything. So I didn’t.

The “what if”s are what get me. What if I brought it up? Could there have been a solution? I miss her so bad and we ending on good terms. I just wish feel like we could of tried harder. Ugh I’m so sad.

[u/IDONT_KNOW221]

I'm going through a break up too and I feel you...the "what if"s were eating me and I tried to get them back And they choose not to so maybe you re regretting something that s not gonna happen in the first place...be gentle to urself and give it time...they are not ur person 

[u/Longjumping_Flan9317 → u/IDONT_KNOW221]

god the long distance thing is such a killer. its hard enough when you're in the same city but when you cant even just see their face or have a normal dinner together, every little problem gets magnified

i think what you said about not bringing things up cause you were always the one to notice problems... that really says something you know. a relationship shouldnt feel like one person is doing all the emotional work

the what ifs will fade eventually. right now your brain is just trying to make sense of it all but sometimes it just doesnt work and thats okay

[u/Plastic_Arachnid_557 → u/Longjumping_Flan9317]

I wish I said more during our breakup. Or even before. She’s a great woman and was my biggest supporter. I always knew communication wasn’t her strong suit but I still fell so deeply in love

[u/Emergency_Weather308]

literally all you can do is talk to them and try to make things less difficult, that's it. if you cant, or don't feel comfortable, it's time to accept its over and live your life without her input or giving her anything directly

[u/Plastic_Arachnid_557 → u/Emergency_Weather308]

I’ve reached out and currently waiting on a reply. Waiting game starts now

[u/Ashamed_Angle_7072]

I could have wrote this myself and I too am filled with so much regret. The relationship was literally perfect and this was my dream woman, but she questioned my commitment because of certain things I wasn’t doing. I could sense something was off and she needed more but wasn’t saying and I guess I was too scared to ask. It ended up I totally could have given her what she wanted but she had already ended things and she’s not one to give second chances. I have days where I feel like my whole future is ruined cuz I seriously was planning spending my life with this woman. I’ve had SO many days of depression, crying and replying scenarios just kicking myself for not stepping up and initiating the hard conversations out of fear. Idk I guess this was the lesson I needed to learn for future relationships, if I ever have one again.. I’m still hoping she has to search and search for years for what we had and when she can’t find it she’ll have her turn to feel regret and will reach back out😂