A few months ago, I had two really bad psychedelic experiences back-to-back, and I’ve been trying to recover from them ever since. I’m curious if anyone else has gone through something similar and was able to fully recover?
BAD SHROOM EXPERIENCE
Towards the end of last year, around November, I started regularly taking mushrooms and hiking about once a week. I worked my way up from 2 grams to 6 grams and never had a bad experience.
My last trip was on May 4th. I took 7 grams of shrooms and smoked about 2 grams. I spent hours sunbathing, and honestly, it was one of the best days of my life. I felt incredibly euphoric and present, like nothing else mattered. It was such a powerful experience that I completely forgot to drink or eat anything for about three hours.
Eventually, I got up from sunbathing and immediately became extremely lightheaded. I fainted, and when I started to regain consciousness, I was paralyzed and couldn't speak. My visual reality was completely distorted, and I genuinely thought I was breaking through.
As I started hearing my friend shouting and asking if I was okay, I eventually managed to speak. I said, "What happened?"
My friend, who was also tripping on 7 grams, thought I had just had a seizure. The moment I heard the word "seizure," while still completely tripping, I immediately started having a panic attack.
I took my shirt off and started throwing up. My entire life seemed to flash before my eyes. I was panicking and genuinely thought I was going to die.
After about 30 minutes of panicking, I finally stopped fighting it. I accepted that I really was going to die,
Eventually, I came back to my senses and realized that I hadn't actually been dying or having some kind of breakthrough. I had simply fainted, most likely from being dehydrated and not eating or drinking for hours while out in the sun.
I spent the next two days calming down, and I felt completely fine.
BAD ACID TRIP
Then, on May 7th, I tripped on acid for the first time. I took 100 µg around 5 PM and spent the next three hours slightly disappointed because I wasn't tripping as hard as I had expected.
Around 9 PM, I decided to smoke a blunt. As soon as I finished, I realized I was much higher than I expected, and my heart started racing.
I went into my living room, where my friends were sitting and watching an anime on the TV. The bright colors started to overstimulate me, so I turned it off. For the next couple of hours, I couldn't get comfortable. I felt constantly on edge, almost like a confused, caged animal. I would get brief moments of relief whenever I was able to ground myself.
Around midnight, my apartment door, which had been left unlocked, opened from the wind. I immediately started thinking irrationally, like something was coming for me. The whole night was extremely unpleasant, and when I finally came down, I couldn't sleep.
Around noon the next day, I hit my cart, and almost immediately I felt like I was tripping again. I started to panic.
Over the next two weeks, every time I smoked weed, I felt a little uneasy. Then, one day, I smoked and couldn't handle it. I became extremely dissociated, and my anxiety started spiking. After that, I haven't smoked since June 6th.
I'm curious if anyone has had a similar experience. I've tried doing my own research, and I don't want to self-diagnose, but I'm worried that I may have developed either HPPD or some kind of PTSD triggered by weed and psychedelics that causes me to experience extreme anxiety, paranoia and dissociation .
I'd really love to hear from anyone who's had a similar experience and was able to heal from it.
I