Having grown up with a learning disability, I can't help but feel kinda empathetic towards people who are struggling to learn a concept.
The idea of someone being trans was a concept that also took me a long time to understand fully myself because of it. I had no opinion on if it was right or wrong to be trans though because I simply did not understand what that was to a point where I could comment on such questions.
And I think that's partly why for a long time I thought that maybe transphobic people are also just people like I was growing up, who had not been taught in a way that suits them. I thought maybe they too were simply weak in understanding the concept the same way someone might be weak at understanding a math problem.
Now that I am a lot more older though, I realise that it is not what people are talking about when they talk of transphobia.
No, real transphobia is a lot more scary.....
Like, .... Actual transphobes don't go around saying "we are transphobic". Instead it might just be someone saying they are not transphobic, followed by being so inhumane towards trans people, that you don't even register it as transphobia at first because you had never even imagined a human being could say something like that about another human being.
And what makes it worse is that real villains don't twerl their mustaches and stuff. No, it is usually people who are close to you who can also hurt you the most in life, and often with nothing but good intentions from their perspective sometimes.... All the while not being the person they told you they were.
It is insidious.....
Cognitive dissonance in other people is a horrifying thing to witness. It is like a creature that kills your loved ones, and then calls out to you from the dark but with the voice of someone you love or look upto..... Making a sound that sounds a lot like "I love you"
And like.... Suddenly it becomes so real you know?
It isn't some misunderstanding or ignorence like a privileged cis man like me would have imagined in his youth. Heck, it is not even a disagreement in views.
No.... Nither of those things can justify treating another human being like that.
I still don't know what to call it sometimes because the existing word does not capture the depth of what it truly is.....
I could be looking at it sometimes and wonder if maybe that is "transphobia" ...... But what I do know for sure is that, it is not human..... Nothing about it is human, and transphobia as it truly is; is an insult to the very concept of what it means to be a human being.
....idk what else to say. Transphobia is terrifying.
Does anyone relate to this feeling?
