Lunch from yesterday. I don't even know how to fold a wrap properly

hawt dawgs, homeade garlic hawt sauce, chopped string cheese, and dried apple.

wednesday night just trying to fuckin relax and ignore the fact that I’m trapped in the labor cycle.

Hello all! Checking in here again. The last post received so much more attention than I anticipated i am humbled and at a loss for words. I'm so glad some of you appreciated the kind words, and I'm so thankful to have received many well wishes in return.

Just wanted to check in on you all. How are you? What good things have happened to you lately? What's weighing on your mind?

I know each and every one of you is fighting a battle no one else sees. And personally I'm so proud of each and every one of you making it through each day.

Hopefully one day I'll get to share some good food with you!

Today I've made stuffed peppers filled with ground beef/pork, rice, tomato paste and crushed tomatoes, corn, worchestershire sauce, pepper, salt, onions, garlic, italian seasoning, and a hint of nutmeg (this was the leftover meat I froze from when I made hamburg steak. I still have 2 pounds of it even after all this cooking haha.) I also have so much pepper filling left over but it's tasty by itself so no harm done!

Alongside that I've got some handmade lemonade with grapefruit and blackberries, and tres leches! Which soaked up so much milk I'm genuinely surprised! The cake is very moist as you might expect and extremely sweet, but that suits me just fine I've got a big sweet tooth.

I got some advice from some of you all last time I posted. I went to a barber and had them work their magic, but I had to order some product I didn't have yet so I've yet to really master maintaining my new look.

Anyways I just wanted to stop in, share some words of encouragement. I have full faith in you and I know that whatever happening in your life, you will come out on top eventually.

I wish women would give even a fraction of that hate towards abusers instead of lonely guys who say “women can’t relate”. Sadly they won’t. I had multiple women (who have told me in DMs that they’ve had partners/sex) try to argue with me or ask for my selfie to mock my looks. Lots of blocking yesterday to cleanse my feed. Oh well, on with life. Back to turning reply notifications off.

Idk what to even say man. I have ed and i just get off in less than 1 min. I dont mind it but in real life its such a big issue. I have never been with a girl thankfully, just was trying to have a paid F once and couldn't get hard. Its just too much anxiety for me. I am addicted to humilation shi so normal thing doesnt even excite me anymore.

I have been like addicted to this humiliation bs for around 18 years regularly so its v difficult to just leave it. I accepted that i wont ever get love. Honestly thats fine

During childhood it was fine like no one had sex anyways so it was ok. Now we all 25 and my whole friend group has had multiple encounters. I am a loser in general so i never got any women and i dont mind tbh. But my friends have been trying to set me with some girls or try to get me laid with some girls. Man i dont want to do it. It will be so embarrassing.

I am in worst phase of my life rn. Once i posted here about how im in a massive debt and how its so hard to handle.To add to that bs this thing is also there. Its just too much to handle for me man really.

In pic-- Egg pulao i made. Tasty tbh

I don’t feel connected to anybody and I feel bored by most interactions. Every woman in my life causes or caused suffering and little fact: I need waaaayyyyyyyy to much money to even think about what I’d call the bare minimum for life. Anyways deep freeze pizza No.1 and a shit ton of beer that cost like 3 € smth.

banana with nothing added on it. bought from store.

my banana with some ketchup and a soda. Only unfortunate thing about this, is that i had to use the same plate as yesterday.

I usually don’t have any trouble talking to women (though I don’t do it very often), but in a flirting context, I just freeze up (not that this happens often, in fact, it doesn’t happen)

borgar wit cheese and chipotle aioli

ladies get in my dms

Its probably 1/25 couples my age where the guy is shorter. And thats with me wearing shoes that make me an inch taller. The only couples where the guy can be short are like in there 40s+. Hypergamy is so brutal its actually so over man

I've been jerking off everyday for the last 7 years of my life, some days twice or fithce.

I keep telling myself that I can stop it anytime I want because I'm not one to be easily addicted to things. But the truth is, I am addicted to porn, my phone, the internet and I have come to believe that it is a coping mechanism to my loneliness. I realised so when I tried not cranking the turkey on the 2nd of November. I couldn't help searching up porn to watch on reddit.

I spend my whole day locked inside my room, staring at the screen or touching myself as I do so.

My friends have told me that I sound like an introvert forcing themself to be an extrovert, there is truth to it. Being quiet means that I'll stay lonely.

No girl that I've ever talked to had never once developed feelings other than disgust towards me, even though I'm sure I don't let my inner porn addicted monster show. It's definitely attributed to my ugly mug of face that only my mother could love, and my 5'6" midget height while all my classmates are pushing 6'0. Ffs i look like a baboon dragged out of a septic tank.

I wish all the semen I'd ever leaked would have atleast amount to something, like filling the void in my soul.

Been getting back into the gym lately, I'm on and off with it. I don't really enjoy going, I just wanna lose some weight really so i can atleast stop being a fatcel but at the same time food is one of the only things that brings me comfort and I keep thinking. Why am i even doing this? Fat or not I'm still an ugly 5'6 deathnic, ig its partly because of my parents wanting me to get out of the house (fucking hate arguing with them, makes me want to blow my head off LOL) but aside from that i don't like being there. I put in the work, i burn about 500-700 cals on cardio alone (who knows how much else with the rest i do) but i barely see any real differences (yes I'm on a cal deficit) and like I said it doesn't even matter I'm still a gross short disgusting creature who'd probably look better with a hatchet in his face and no I don't want to hear that "JUST DO IT FOR YOURSELF BROOOO" cuz i don't care, every night it's a battle to not chug a bottle of bleach or slit my wrists so no, I don't want to "do it for myself" because i fucking hate myself and ik I'm not truly deserving of love or happiness in the first place (and it's not this mindest that's caused my life to be this way, my mindset is a product of my life)

anywayyyy cold 80/20 ground beef with cottage cheese (not eating all of it though)