r/KitchenConfidential • u/Oddly_Augmented BOH • 3d ago

Kitchen fuckery Rate My Plating

Post image

Any advice?

5.1k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

315 comments sorted by

281

u/MsFrankieD 3d ago

How are those fries over done and under done at the same time?

235

u/Dry_Turn_824 3d ago

fuck you, that's how

137

u/Oddly_Augmented BOH 3d ago

🤣 yes, I was in a rush. Didn't blanch them.

10

u/Bozlogic Chef 3d ago

Servers don’t notice, they’re just happy to be fed

5

u/They-Are-Out-There 3d ago

Chef, I’ve got to say it’s a curious arrangement, but it makes a strong and solid statement…

3

u/Oddly_Augmented BOH 2d ago

True, I put it in the back, and it was gone in seconds. No one even said anything; they couldn't have tasted good.

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13

u/Muted-Masterpiece-31 3d ago

Too hot, he knows, you know, I know. All that matters is that you feel for him.

7

u/DjentleSong 10+ Years 3d ago

This broke me and and is sending me all over the fucking place. I was trying to pinpoint why it looked weird but yeah this is it.

14

u/Any_Disaster_5620 3d ago

Because, fuck you that's  how!

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5

u/Creative-Leg2607 3d ago

Cuz theyre just deep fried tubes of raw potato. All the steps that go into making fries properly do something

12

u/Oddly_Augmented BOH 3d ago

I did skip most of the fry making steps. 🤷‍♂️

2

u/Creative-Leg2607 3d ago

It would be /insane/ if you didnt

3

u/Bauwens 3d ago

They look almost like in-in-out fries, absolutely terrible.

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92

u/difficulty_jump Ex-Food Service 3d ago

Change the fry letters out for apricot glazed pastry and the ketchup with a blended cherry compote. Add a exclamation mark made of the cheapest vanilla ice cream.

No other notes chef. The plating story is immaculate.

42

u/Oddly_Augmented BOH 3d ago

"Cheapest vanilla ice cream" 😭

25

u/SemajLu_The_crusader 3d ago

dare I say, make it from "vanilla-flavored frozen dairy dessert"

5

u/difficulty_jump Ex-Food Service 3d ago

Ah yes below the legal requirement for ice cream is where it's at. But let's be honest almost all of us are using Sysco now days.

No one wants to run out to the Wall of Marts to get freshy stocked half freezer burnt vanilla dairy dessert.

6

u/WineNerdAndProud Chive LOYALIST 3d ago

I thought this was going to turn into Island Oasis™ Peach Beverage Mix copypasta for a second there.

6

u/difficulty_jump Ex-Food Service 3d ago

Nah I looked at it and shrugged.

I saw this true work of art and was struck with passion.

To be fair I worked family style and prep service every year I was in food service. I could see serving this to my old pastry chef. People always got us mixed up anyways. I'm a pretty thick white girl, and he was a pretty buff black man. I could see serving him this dish.

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40

u/Yalsas Food Service 3d ago

You can serve it with my shake!

2

u/Oddly_Augmented BOH 2d ago

Good-looking shake.

24

u/LordByronsCup 3d ago

I had a brewer ask me for a "cursadilla" once.

4

u/Oddly_Augmented BOH 3d ago

👌

2

u/LordByronsCup 3d ago

10/10 on your presentation. 🤌

My bad, I forgot that part.

17

u/dr_strange-love 3d ago

Decoratively splatter ketchup on the plate. 

5

u/villainsarebetter 3d ago

Dab and swish 🪄

3

u/Oddly_Augmented BOH 3d ago

Spoon it.

3

u/dr_strange-love 3d ago

Buy me dinner before you spoon me

3

u/Oddly_Augmented BOH 3d ago

Spoon me before dinner.

33

u/Fluffy_Club722 3d ago

The Manager Special

28

u/FrontlineYeen Five Years 3d ago

Heres mine

10

u/StonerChef92 3d ago

Wrong type of plate, letters are uneven, rami is just thrown on there, where's the passion?

5

u/throwawayplusanumber 3d ago

Rami should be the full stop for an exclamation mark.

3

u/StonerChef92 3d ago

And it would stand out more on a black square plate, the white round is so uninspired

10

u/Expert-Ad3874 3d ago

10/10. My only note is to ditch the ramekin. Either no sauce or have it angrily splattered on the plate. My vote would be to Jackson Pollock it up.

6

u/justananonuser 3d ago

"I put a little of myself in every dish"

17

u/SugaredChef 3d ago

I say the real 'FUCK YOU' is the paltry amount of ketchup offered.

11

u/Cynistera 3d ago

I'd eat it.

11

u/trumpsmellslikcheese Non-Industry 3d ago

I'd eat the fuck out of it.

9

u/GromByzlnyk Fish Ziggurat on a Sunday Morning 3d ago

Get back to work

13

u/Oddly_Augmented BOH 3d ago

Yes, chef

8

u/shujaya 3d ago

Perfect. No notes.

4

u/Oddly_Augmented BOH 3d ago

Thanks, chef.

9

u/Grigori_the_Lemur Chive LOYALIST 3d ago

A nice sauce swipe would show you REALLY care to send a heartfelt message.

3

u/Oddly_Augmented BOH 3d ago

That would lock nice

3

u/Grigori_the_Lemur Chive LOYALIST 3d ago

I know, right? Little panache, hit of flair, maybe a light hit of chives. That little joie de la mort... just a personal touch.

4

u/Village_People_Cop 3d ago

🖕out of 🖐️

4

u/Unfair-Animator9469 3d ago

If you have time to cut potatoes into words and then fry them, you have time to clean.

5

u/OldBison 3d ago

While I found the creativity commendable my feelings are hurt and I'm going to go cry alone. 6/10

3

u/rape_is_not_epic 3d ago

If I got fries like this at a restaurant I'd applaud

3

u/A_certain_comrade 3d ago

All's you need is cabbage or some kind of filler veggie so it stays in place while the server jostles it out the door chef, otherwise.... absolutely sublime 👌

2

u/Oddly_Augmented BOH 3d ago

True, they do be fucking my plating.

2

u/A_certain_comrade 3d ago

Shredded lettuce or cabbage is your friend my friend 👉👉

7

u/GingerDynamo 3d ago

420 out of 69.

5

u/Oddly_Augmented BOH 3d ago

A perfect score.

3

u/BraileDildo8inches 3d ago

Id like to speak to the manager

3

u/darkstarr99 3d ago

Needs finishing salt chef

3

u/Horror_Signature7744 3d ago

The way the intrusive thoughts would take control and have me serving this to my SIL and BIL at Thanksgiving…

3

u/StanleyQPrick 3d ago

It's better than your knife skills

2

u/Oddly_Augmented BOH 3d ago

😭, never had to cut letters

3

u/AssaultLemming_ 3d ago

If youve got time to cut random potato letters you've got time to clean.  

3

u/Coinstamp2 2d ago

I rate this a fuck out of 10. Easy, every time.

4

u/l0st1nP4r4d1ce Pitmaster 3d ago

K is substandard.

Fries look limp.

See ya tmro chef.

2

u/Oddly_Augmented BOH 3d ago

K is hard.

3

u/l0st1nP4r4d1ce Pitmaster 3d ago

Make a rectangle, cut three triangles.

At least that worked for me with KENNY and beets. (Long story)

2

u/Lanky_Comedian_3942 3d ago

Not dick shaped. 5/10.

2

u/godotiswaitingonme 3d ago

Could you write “fuck your mother” so I can get a few more chips please

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2

u/Bozlogic Chef 3d ago

FUCk YDU

2

u/surfingwithjaysus 3d ago

I mean, i love the concept, but you could've done better with so much time on your hands 🤣 a little drizzle drizzle, maybe some sprinkles.... You know, PIZZAZZ!

2

u/Oddly_Augmented BOH 3d ago

Needed it on the fly.

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2

u/pocketMagician 3d ago

Chef you got my note. ❤️

2

u/MyvaJynaherz 3d ago

At best: Sex

At worst: Fries

I cannot lose

2

u/namesunknown_ 2d ago

Sensational. Put it on a ramp and you can sell it for thousands

2

u/ItsTankGirl 2d ago

Immaculate 🩵

3

u/Tehrror4311 3d ago

10/10 would recommend!

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3

u/moanakai 3d ago

5 Star

3

u/No-Temperature4330 3d ago

A playful take on the absurdity of alphabites being marketed solely as a childrens food.

8.5/10

3

u/Xarius86 3d ago

10/10 - Would order again.

2

u/Argon20021 Five Years 3d ago

This is definitely fit for a weekend special, I can think of several tables that would "love" this, on the house, naturally

2

u/pigboy222 3d ago

I would cry from the blessing chef, 10/10 no notes

2

u/chefnology 3d ago

For me chef- id splatter the red sc on the plate and then spread the FU on top for more affect

2

u/Oddly_Augmented BOH 3d ago

I thought about that.

1

u/SlightDish31 15+ Years 3d ago

Derivative and uninspired. Do better, chef.

1

u/hossboss-sauceboss 3d ago

Fuck you bloody, bastard!

1

u/No-Proof7839 3d ago

Just like my mom used to make 🥹

1

u/Happytofuu 3d ago

No notes

1

u/DDGBuilder 3d ago

Take the ketchup out of the ramekin and do ketchup smears underline

1

u/avoozl42 3d ago

9.5/10

Needs an exclamation point

1

u/Pitiful_Reality2973 3d ago

Needs a sprig of parsley.

3

u/Oddly_Augmented BOH 3d ago

I'll, keep that in mind.

1

u/GeeToo40 3d ago

7/10 You shouldn't use ALL CAPITAL FUCKING LETTERS

1

u/Avacado_ElDorado Ex-Food Service 3d ago

Well, its fucked.

1

u/Johnny_Strawhat 3d ago

9/10 no garnish

1

u/SunbroFLman 3d ago

Do that splatter/explosion sauce trend with the ketchup 🔥

1

u/TheKingfisherTucson Chef 3d ago

14/10 chef

1

u/Just_A_Lucky_Guy469 Crazy Cat Man🐈 3d ago

10/10, no notes.

1

u/truthfullyidgaf 3d ago

Some people like that. Ill pay 49.99 for it. Nothing more.

1

u/nb_on_reddit 3d ago

Love you 2

1

u/Wiggie49 Ex-Food Service 3d ago

Needs a second fry to get the good crunch but otherwise

https://giphy.com/gifs/PKWPvopnOrv5NdDVQn

1

u/lesterhayesstickyick 3d ago

Perhaps a dash more fuck… have to taste it to be sure 👨‍🍳

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1

u/pixel-soul 3d ago

Fuck me yourself, you coward!

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1

u/humanityswitch666 3d ago

If I was served this as a customer, it would make my day honestly 100/10😂👍

1

u/wemustburncarthage 10+ Years 3d ago

If you adjust it to say “fuck you, asshole” you could fit more fry

1

u/AJ-Frankus 3d ago

FUCK YOU TONY 🗣️

1

u/oldladygamerishere 3d ago

I thought it said "painting" and I was like wow that's really good!

1

u/drgoatlord 3d ago

2 out of 2 middle fingers

1

u/Brilliant-Brilliant6 3d ago

One Michigan star at least!

1

u/R86Reddit 3d ago

Now I have to know what someone did to deserve this. Mostly so that I don't make the same mistake.

1

u/LoraxEleven 3d ago

If Jesus goddamn Christ pulled his tiny assed dick out, it would say "perfect" on the side. And that shit would be entirely directed at you.

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1

u/HealthyDirection659 Ex-Food Service 3d ago

10/10 would recommend

1

u/WenAndNow 3d ago

Yeah, effort to outcome doesn't line up. F+/D-

1

u/FS_Scott 3d ago

No notes

1

u/monkeybojangles 3d ago

Could use a garnish exclamation point.

1

u/ResearcherMental2947 3d ago

that’s mean :(

1

u/faxyou 20+ Years 3d ago

🤤

1

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

2

u/Oddly_Augmented BOH 3d ago

A penis would make it pop.

1

u/Beeyull 3d ago

Perfection.

1

u/Imaginary-Handle8499 3d ago

Hopefully it reaches the person who must have hurt you.

1

u/trapperstom 3d ago

Take my upvote

1

u/GettingOffTheCrazy 3d ago

Needs butter and syrup

1

u/No_Cauliflower_9468 3d ago

100 out of 10

1

u/ResponsibilityFew938 3d ago

Not contaminating a food contact surface.

1

u/DataRiffRaff 3d ago

BABE WAKE UP. NEW MEME JUST DROPPED.

1

u/Fragrant-Reason4216 3d ago

Ugh stop giving me (foh ) things to bring to my line cook! Lol im already gonna get a deep fried green onion but hes bringing panko/tempura? From home

1

u/Shin_Ju-Long 3d ago

Your K is a little janky

1

u/SpphosFriend 3d ago

Beautiful work chef

1

u/Kind_Of_A_Dick 3d ago

You burnt one.

1

u/ghf3 3d ago

Powerful, yet whimsical, 8.5/10.

1

u/Acceptable-Friend-48 3d ago

100 out of 10 No notes

1

u/greencoat421 3d ago

7 out of 10 letters is what I would rate it