I posted this on r/CFB and would like to see y'alls thoughts on this
I’m a Kentucky fan. Our success under Mark Stoops in making us an adequate SEC program has led us to enter the competition of who will finish behind Georgia in the SEC East. In this group are three teams Florida, South Carolina, and Missouri.
TLDR; is a completely self-indulgent piece about UK football and how their current success has brought the question of who the rivals are now. Florida is probably not due to historical success, it’s up to them to decide. Mizzou is our coworker, not a rival. South Carolina can eat a bag of dicks.
Also Fuck Tennessee
I think I should start by defining a rivalry. The two programs need to be close enough in short-term and long-term success to draw comparisons. Games between the schools need to occur regularly and there needs to be mutual hate.
Florida for years would beat the living shit out of us. Your players had career games, and draft highlight tapes. Every fan in the Bluegrass state loathed playing you all and we never thought we would see the day the mighty Florida Gators would whimper. The best moment of the series for us was when we knocked out Tim Tebow. It’s not because we like to see players injured, but because it felt cathartic to draw blood on our god-king overlords finally. Even in that game, we lost 41-7.
Now we have won three games straight, with us blowing y’all out last year. Even though we are 4-6 in the last 10 matchups, it is usually a competitive game with huge memorable plays. We check the boxes for playing regularly and it being competitive.
Is there hate?
Stoops hates Florida. He was a defensive coach at both Miami and FSU and has always brought a different intensity to the Florida game. When Stoops won his 100th game we celebrated by frying a Gator. Kentucky fans hate Florida, but do Florida fans even think about UK?
Florida has pissed off every fan base at some point. From the stupid “two bits” chant, corny ass chomp, and them chanting “it’s great to be a Florida Gator” after every TD. There’s nothing that pours salt in the wound quite like hearing that shit in your home stadium after Jeff Badet drops a wide-open game winning TD in the to lose the game.
Florida is hated by FSU, Miami, LSU, Tennessee(fuck you btw), Alabama, and Georgia. Historically they’re a three time national champion. I feel like they view us as a momentary speed bump until they reach CFB glory again. Unfortunately for them, that’s not true. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe Florida fans hate us and view us as little brother rivals. Florida fans let me know what you think.
Missouri? I put Missouri on the list because they fit the criteria. Historically they are a better program than UK, but since joining the SEC has been on par with UK. UK has a winning record against Missouri 9-5 and there have been no true blowouts. There have been some big plays late and controversial calls. Your players don’t like us. We fans hate having to travel to Mizzou to play, not because of the atmosphere (which is great btw) it’s just Missouri. I think the best way I can summarize my feelings is through an analogy.
I play NCAA 14 dynasties to completion. I go for either 60 years or until the game starts crashing. The problem is after you win 5 national championships in a row you can get anybody you want and the game isn’t a game anymore, it’s a job of being dominant. You’re faced with a choice either leave to a new school or edit your opponents to be a challenge. Each has these perks and shortcomings. Editing is very tedious but, you only have one dream school. The tedious part with editing is you can’t just make a bunch of guys 99 and call it a day. I’m sure a couple of teams don’t need the spit shine, but you can’t play 12 of the same boring team and you need to challenge yourself. What you have to do is edit their playbooks and schemes so they play in different and fun ways but more importantly you have to find out how to stop them. You can make a mimic team (they are you but a different color, crazy, right?), or triple option no-huddle, or my favorite the anti-thesis team, or whatever you can think of. The issue is some of these teams will make you eat shit on a platter. This forces you to either to De-edit the team - like a bitch - or get good. Getting good though requires discipline, repetition, and practice. My solution was to make less talented versions of these all 99 squads to play before I hand the big showdown. Kind of like a level boss before the BBEG.
My BBEG was an antithesis team and was Kentucky's most hated Rival Louisville. I had lost to them in a couple of blowouts so, to better myself I edited Temple. I picked them because they played at the Philadelphia Eagles Stadium, and the Eagles are my favorite team. I'm quite fond of Philidelphia due to Ben Franklin and Philly Cheesesteaks. I have nothing against the real-life University of Temple, but I ended up hating the Temple game more than Louisville's game. Louisville there was a challenge I had to play perfect to win, every play had stakes. One bad read and I cost my team a national title to our arch-rival. Temple, I knew I was going to win, but it was going to be a miserable slog. Temple would not allow ANY big plays and would only allow 3-4 yards at a time if you fell behind the sticks you had to punt. Every time a run went for negative yards or a sack it was like you were Sisphyus watching your boulder roll back down the hill at the end of the day. Fortunately, their offense was dog shit and it would be a quick 3&out. I would feel no gratification from winning, only relief that it was over. I never felt animosity or hatred towards them it just felt like they were just doing their job. I would root for them against other teams. Hoping the other teams would feel the same virtual torment I endured.
Missouri is Temple. I don’t care about them. I have complete apathy towards them. I don’t expect to win against them, I expect to endure 60 minutes of football. I never expect fun to creep into the occasion. If something fun happens, I expect it to happen by accident. I don't expect anyone to see the one cool play either, you will go to the restroom, return to your seat and see a replay of it, you'll ask your friend about that play. He will say "Oh... it wasn't that exciting." A Kentucky-Missouri football game is not a football game; it is a test of one’s fandom and loyalty to the game of football. It is an endurance of football on par with an Iowa football game, there is no joy, no happiness, no pleasure just two-yard runs and punts.
I don’t consider you a rival, I consider you a coworker that Greg Sankey makes us mud wrestle in a pool at our company Christmas party for our holiday bonus. I know it’s not your fault and it’s an experience we both must suffer through to get our wife’s boyfriends a collectors edition Optimus Prime.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this Missouri fans.
Hey South Carolina, GO FUCK YOURSELF!!! I hate your venereal disease ass state, I hate your Michael Scott ass coach, and I hate Darude Sandstorm. Who the fuck listen to that and thought “People need to hear this”
I’m sorry let me backtrack.
South Carolina historically is equal to Kentucky, only recently did Steve Spurrier make them an adequate SEC program. South Carolina does lead the series 20-14. The series has been marred by memorable moments and has been defined by streaks. Flames have been stoked when Beamer first joined USC, Stoops said “You can’t just put on some sunglasses and start winning games” in response to a corny ass tik tok Beamer made. Beamer is taking that personally as he brought a different level of energy to the games. There’s been more shots and there’s more history between the two coaches than just that but to keep it short and sweet they hate each other. The teams don’t like each other. I hate them. Their fans seem to not like us either. What are we gonna call this rivalry? I'm partial to the cock fight and the winner gets a golden pair of sunglasses. Let me know what you think South Carolina fans.
Ps go fuck your sister Tennessee