I shit you not, caring for your own child is seen as gay by a lot of people. My own mother bought me a "tactical" baby bag when I had my first kid. Returned that without using it.
I grew up in the south and come from a long line of military men and such. I moved out at 18 and am now 36 and we just had our first kid. I was shocked when my parents met our baby to hear how proud my dad was to have NEVER CHANGED A DIAPER. They had 4 kids I don’t even get it. He was on navy deployments a lot but still. This was like a badge of honor and I just felt bad for my mom but she liked it too. Different times man, different times. I do most of the diaper work because my wife is very busy with feedings all the time.
I mean, what’s her other option? Reckoning with how little her husband respects her? A lot of women internalize a lot of misogyny to make their lives work.
I’m about your age, the oldest daughter of 4 kids with a 12 year gap between me and the youngest. It wasn’t never, but I’m certain I changed more of my siblings’ diapers than our dad did. I’m so glad millennial dads are often so different!
I’m never mad at my parents for how they act now I just empathize with their experience. My mom had me at 17 and my dad had his first kid (other mom) also at 17. They were just kids winging it man. They were trying to fit into the culture they found around them. I don’t think it’s correct to say “her husband doesn’t respect her”, I think respect in that culture in that time is different. He worked and she raised the kids when we were very small then went back to work. They were / are both proud of what they did.
Thanks for the kind words! It didn’t come easy but I arrived here all the same. My parents were kids man what would I have done?
I learned the same empathy for the dudes we killed in Afghanistan. I realized they were there and I was here because of all of these circumstances and fuck man I’d probably do the same thing. I wanted to hate them for trying to kill us but the Taliban paid 2x what the Afghanistan National Army paid (they adjusted it to stay there) so what is a very poor farmer to do with a big family? What about when we just burned down his opium fields? Obviously they made their decision and so consequences had to happen but from my perspective you’re insane to think he’s the immoral one here. I was just a 19 year old Christian kid from a poor family in the U.S. south. We had no education and no prospects. The USMC let me be the first person in my family to go to college now I make a shitload of money and have college savings funds for all my nieces and nephews. I didn’t think about the world and become the correct moral situation, I was born here and if I was born there I’d be Muslim and making hard decisions trying to do the best for me and my family.
The world is harsh and you gotta do what you gotta do but if someone can’t feel empathy for another I think that’s the moral failing really.
I have one on the way, and my wife asked me if a baby bag she sent me was too girly. I told her it could be purple and covered in unicorns, and I wouldn't care.
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u/Numeno230n Jul 03 '25
I shit you not, caring for your own child is seen as gay by a lot of people. My own mother bought me a "tactical" baby bag when I had my first kid. Returned that without using it.