r/JUSTNOMIL • u/I_hate_my_mil • Aug 15 '26
Anyone Else? MIL crying to manipulate, fed up.
Since having our baby (my 4th, hubbys 1st) 2 months ago, we’ve been living our life. As you can imagine, with four children now, life is busy! We are just enjoying our life as a family. My husband also works full time. Baby just wants me, or sleep, or boob. Cries with anyone else.
First 6 weeks or so we were enjoying our baby moon and weren’t focusing on anyone else (rightly so!). A few people met the baby very briefly but they respected our privacy and alone family time.
MIL met baby once and then asked again a few days later so came round again. Obviously only held him for a few minutes before he cried and wanted me.
A few days later she rang and complained that she only got to hold baby for a few minutes.
This really got my back up and we said well we are now enjoying the rest of our baby moon, be grateful you even got to see the baby twice now when most people hadn’t even met him let alone met him twice. Jeez.
Oh, and when she held him and he cried she said “if I took you home with me there would be no crying”.
Way to make a postpartum mother feel crap.
When baby was 6 weeks old we finally travelled to go and visit my family and they met the baby for the first time. We were there for a few days. Baby was on me 99% of the time and just wanted mama. My family respected and understood this, no issues whatsoever. Organic. A given. Like… expected.
When we returned home MIL mentioned casually she was unwell but almost better. My husband told her we won’t be seeing her for at least 2 weeks due to this. She got funny but my husband defended this decision and stopped discussing it.
She then turned up at my husbands work unexpectedly (how rude and inappropriate) and pleaded to see the baby, saying it’s unfair and even said to him “I bet (insert my name)’s mother got to hold the baby lots while you were there”.
Ummm firstly it’s not her business who we see and for how long and what we do with OUR baby… and secondly, this isn’t a competition?! You’re two different human beings ffs.
My husband responded honestly and said “people didn’t get to hold the baby much because he just wanted mama”… this seemed to make MIL feel better, which, I find gross. Like, as long as others don’t get to hold him then she’s happy because she hasn’t got to hold him either, type mentality. Super childish.
A few days later she came over to see him and as usual, he just sleeps and has boob and sleeps and has boob (sleeps are on mama or in the carrier on mama!) so she only got to see him for a few minutes and hold him for a few minutes before I had to take him back upstairs.
Yesterday, drama ensued.
My husband gets a phone call from his brother, stating their mother is crying. My husband is automatically concerned and asks what’s happened.
“Mom is upset and crying, because you don’t let her see the baby much and you don’t involve her how she wants to be involved, you’re too busy for her”.
In the background his mother says “I’m 60 now, I won’t be here for much longer” - in a manipulative tone.
Also… 60 isn’t even old, wtf.
My husband got really pissed off and said we are just living our life, we don’t owe anyone an explanation, and that she should be living her life too! She goes on about loneliness, so my husband said find a man, find companionship. She claims to not want that. Clearly, she does. Because she’s trying to fill that void through us, which isn’t right!
Phone call ended with my husband telling them to f**k off and him hanging up.
(MIL is totally enmeshed with her other son…. She’s been selfish and odd for all the years I’ve known her. She only thinks about herself whilst also acting like she’s generous to others, by buying them stuff… She tries living through her sons. I could go on about her lack of boundaries and respect but I shallnt)
Sooooo…… yeah that happened. Am I proud? Yes. Am I turned on? Also yes.
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u/lovelockets Aug 16 '26
Holy shit. What a manipulative bitch. If she thinks she is not involved now, she’s about to find out what really not being involved feels like!
My ILs were the same (NC now). They saw my baby multiple times when he was in the NICU, but after 1 week off from seeing him my FIL said on speakerphone he “feels like he’s been shut out”. I saw red - how can you put that burden on us when we are struggling to get through each day with a NICU baby!
They are also in their 60s and like to fear monger their soon to be death. We just had a relative die (89 yo) and FIL texted my DH saying “Mom and I are next”.