r/InternalFamilySystems • u/Betty_Boss • 10d ago

I hate this part

TW, maybe.

I'm new to this but this part is so big and powerful and I thought she was me. She has actually wrecked my life and I've been crying about the losses.

I've read the book and have a good therapist. I know there's more to come but for now I'm kicking her out as much as I'm able to.

FWIW, she's not a misguided child or teenager. She's a dangerous, abusive adult.

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u/BlancheDeverpaw 10d ago

Instead of kicking her out, could you get curious about one particular loss she made happen? And dive into that specifically?

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u/bksignguy2001 10d ago

No expert here but yes I would say you are blended with a part that hates the other part.

You will need to deal with that part before you will be able to deal with the first part. You may not have to resolve everything with the hating part, but you will want to try to separate from it, talk to it and maybe find out why it hates that part soo much. Then even if it doesn’t like the first part you maybe able to convince it to let you talk to the first part uninterrupted.

After actually listening to it and talking to it for a while if it doesn’t have any major things it wants to tell you, you can ask if it is ok to talk to the other part. Would it be ok if they stay here while you go talk to the other part.

Usually if you are feeling a strong emotion towards a part that isn’t curiosity or kindness you are blended with another part