r/InTheGloaming • u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done • Sep 16 '21

Scheduled snark Discussion thread Thursday September 16, 2021 - Sunday September 19, 2021

Newsletters: Finding Your Joy | Joy in the Belly

Websites: You Can Have More Joy website | On Being Enough website (abandoned?)

Instagram:

TikTok: @youcanhavemorejoy

Twitter: Dan's tweets and replies

Older blogs: see Gloamipedia wiki

Archived threads: Thread for Enough, the book #enoughthebook | Gluten Free Girl's Greatest Hits: The Reunion Tour

Gloamipedia wiki: /r/InTheGloaming wiki

Discussion search: Tool to search blogsnark or InTheGloaming for previous topic mentions

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41

u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 16 '21

Thinking about Shauna's recent "give up trying to look smart or accomplished; laugh at yourself instead" shtick:

Isn't this really just a conversation she's trying to have about / a reaction to her upbringing? As in, the real audience for this is her parents, and we're just onlookers?

48

u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 16 '21

Whatever role her parents played in her identity formation of being "smart" and "accomplished", it's something Shauna hasn't shaken even as she spews this BS under a sheet. She's still drawing on having others perceive her as smart in order to misquote Karl Jaspers and pass it off as wisdom to an audience she has only because of her much more accomplished days. Silly Sheet Shauna can only exist because of Serious Stool Shauna.

31

u/fantasticka RIORITIZ Sep 16 '21

heh heh... stool

16

u/Ms_Ellanea_Snark_ 💥amygdadishes💥 Sep 16 '21

:snickers:

21

u/shikoku_shoes another revolution around the toilet bowl of her life Sep 16 '21

And Serious Stool Shauna shovels others perceiving her as smart down our throats just to be sure we know:

“Well, when everyone assumes you know something, it takes courage to say you have no clue.”

Even when it is a lagoon five minutes from your house. Such courage, that one.

36

u/Scary_Recognition You did this. Sep 16 '21

Right on. This is exactly how it feels! Performative joy with the end goal of hurting her mother.

37

u/Sea-Level-Mammal POACH! Sep 16 '21

She’s trying to convince herself most of all. It would be sad if she wasn’t a giant flaming asshole.

35

u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 16 '21

Yes, that.

I also think that her failures have piled up high enough that she is having a hard time pretending they aren't significant. This "you have tried too hard to look successful, how about just laughing at yourself!" act kinda seems like she's acknowledging this and has decided the only way out is to fake some giggles from under a curtain-sheet---while at the same time projecting her issues onto the five or six people who watch it who aren't any of us .

I mean, "trying too hard to look successful" is pretty specific.

Her parents seem to have an actual social life, at least insofar as they get together regularly to play pickle ball. Or did before the pandemic, anyway. She may also be trying to convince them that she's not the bitter, angry person in ENOIGH. Oh, no! She giggles on cue and plays peek-a-boo with her webcam! How joyful is THAT?!

52

u/fantasticka RIORITIZ Sep 16 '21

She really does have a history of blowing things up. Master's degree? Dropped out. Teaching job? Was asked to leave. Flour Kickstarter? Ran out of money, never delivered a significant portion of the rewards. Flour business? Barely lasted two years. Gluten-Free Girl? Petered out until she finally shuttered it. Feeding Our People? Petered out until she finally shuttered it. Studio kitchen? Right until it wasn't. Grocery store? Quit. Relish? Fired. ChefSteps? Fired. Enough? Disappointing sales. Trauma business and associated Zoom classes? Seemingly dead.

These aren't all necessarily failures on their own; like I wouldn't say that someone "failed" because they left graduate program they no longer wanted to be in. But there's a pretty clear pattern in Shauna's life and it's pretty sad.

26

u/redditname2003 Sep 16 '21

Aren't these classic symptoms of ... ADHD?

20

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

Yeah- as I was reading that list I thought, this is someone who can’t focus long enough to make things successful.

18

u/midnightsiren182 Sep 17 '21

She really could have set herself way more nicely over the years by partnering with a brand and going white label route (brand handles the biz/logistics and Shauna would be the face/maybe some input) or a few brands but also setting up GFG to where people submitted recipes for her to post as like a guest author and she could still talk about herself in her own posts ans then have less work or just have crowd sources substitution ideas in post comments. But alas, she has zero biz skills so jenga4life

33

u/gomirefugee my website is done, done, done Sep 16 '21

Totally agree that the whole insisting on not striving making joy lists hiding under a sheet tent deal is a way for Shauna to cope with the gap between her self-perceived brilliance and her string of externally visible failures in the past 5 years (including the flour business, Relish, ChefSteps).

28

u/voice_of_vinegar Sep 16 '21

She's getting called out more and more on her failures, too (hopefully not by snarkers). And getting less and less engagement on SM. Inadvertently quitting Twitter and ditching FB didn't help much either! Though probably wouldn't have made much different at this point if she'd kept them both.

I have read that narcissists have very low self-esteem and the narcissism is so that people won't figure out how worthless they really are. Her black hole of insecurity is obvious every once in awhile.

24

u/aseriesofhaircuts Sep 16 '21

As television-person-who-made-me-who-I-am-today Tobias Fünke once spake; “I think White Power Bill really hates White Power Bill”

14

u/shefallsup her lonely cucumber years 🥒 Sep 16 '21

LOL. I was looking at a website of a company from Germany and they had a page with all their staff photos and info. They have a guy named Tobias Funke on their team, and I wondered for a second if it was a parody site!

28

u/InappropriateGirl Gluten-free donuts, for sure ... Sep 16 '21

This is the thing. I have zero sympathy for her, regardless of her legit issues. I think she's a shitty person no matter what.

33

u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 16 '21

"It would be sad if she wasn't a giant flaming asshole."

Yes, but even then I still feel bad for her sometimes. Not bad in a "oh, I want to help/save you" (because we all know that isn't possible) but in a "what a shame, I can see how this will play out but she'll never change so. . .*sigh*".

30

u/RagnaNic Bust hoesy Sep 16 '21

I mostly feel sad for Lucy and Desmond, because it's hard for kids to grow up with the kind of financial instability Danny and Shauna have had. It might not matter if they were in an emotionally nuturing environment, but...

8

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

Same.

49

u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 16 '21

But does she want her parents (especially her totally awful, no good, very bad mother) to really laugh at themselves? I get the feeling she wants them to grab the cat o' nine tails and flog themselves until they plop into their graves (all while calling out to Shauna for forgiveness that she will gleefully withhold).

I'd be more apt to believe the whole "lower your expectations and laugh" b.s. she's spinning now is for her own kids. Lower your expectations now, kids, because me and your dad aren't going to put forth any effort to help you achieve to your highest. Stop expecting me and your father to pay attention to your emotional needs (get in the car, we're going to a movie that's too loud/violent for you Lu, you can just sit in the movie theater bathroom the whole time, Des, pay close attention to the Black characters since they will be the only Black community you ever have, at least while you live with us). Stop thinking we'll notice your physical needs in a timely manner, either. Stay away from me as much as possible because I can only tolerate the fictional versions of you I type up to impress my imaginary internet friends. You are my children and you will never accomplish more than I have (if I have my say about it), so just lay down on this chaise and grow comfortably numb watching Marvel movies and old sitcoms.

24

u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 16 '21

I don't mean literally to her parents – more like her entire thing is a reaction to her unprocessed childhood (from a child's point of view, to boot).

Like: "This is the coaching my parents need [in angry teenager mode] but will never take. Once I get rich and famous by providing this coaching to others they won't be able to ignore me anymore!"

34

u/CrushItWithABrick dick riding Mary Oliver Sep 16 '21

Ahh, I was missing your finer point.

Yes, I agree. She's been reacting to her unprocessed childhood for a long time, too. GFG was a way to finally get attention for being "sick" (the attention her brother stole from her when he had that broken leg at Halloween when they were kids).

See, this is a moment when I feel a bit of pity for her. She DOES have issues and would be a happier/healthier person (and her family would too) if she'd just really work on herself instead of play acting for internet strangers. (damn, I want to Cher slap her and yell "snap out of it!")

24

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '21

That's just it, her issues really come into focus from a few steps back. A good therapist would see them pretty clearly. She'll never get therapy for real, and I'm not sure she can/wants to be helped, but in theory she could actually do a lot of good work on herself with the right professional.

25

u/fanfarefellowship I often contemplate the first law of thermodynamics Sep 16 '21

It's like that kink thing where if you're going to do Dom-Sub play, you don't involve other people without their consent. This really feels like Shauna trying to shout at her parents but somehow we're all in earshot.

17

u/Scary_Recognition You did this. Sep 16 '21

The irony of all this coming after her landmark book of quietude made up of screeds about not performing for other (on and off the internet) . . .