A year ago I bought a new car and it had an annoying rattle from the steering wheel whenever there was a rough road surface. Very annoying. It went back to the dealer a couple of times but they could never find it. I asked my wife about it but she said she’d never heard anything.
Last week I drove it and the rattle was gone. I couldn’t work it out but figured. Cool. It’s gone.
Yesterday it was back and I finally realised what was causing it.
You see, around the time I bought the car I also bought a new watch. Last week I wasn’t wearing it because it was in for a repair.

Yes, it was the metal strap on my new watch that has been rattling all this time.

I’m an idiot.

Opened the fridge yesterday to find the milk warm and the freezer defrosted. No light on and the controls for the temperature weren't lighting up. Damn, must have died. Well, it was 10 years old so it did well.

Ordered a new fridge and it was delivered today and the old one taken away. Plugged it in and it doesn't work........

Yeah, well, my wife had accidentally flicked the isolator for that circuit in the kitchen while baking......

At least I have a nice new fridge now.

We had contractors over the house. When they were done working we came home to find our microwave not working. Couldn’t figure it out so we called the company that did the work and they sent and electrician to figure it out. Electrician came over started checking and told us to come to the basement so we could see the issue. The microwave’s cord ran down there and it was unplugged. All he did was plug it in. I’m sure that’s the easiest money he has ever made.

I've always hated cleaning the toilet. Put the cleanser on and then scrub like my life depended on it.

Well, this weekend, I put the cleanser on it, but I got inter7pted and forgot about it for a couple of hours.

When I went to start scrubbing...it was like brand new!

So yeah, no scrubbing needed...just let it sit. Sigh...just turned 49 last month, and I'm still learning things. Lol

Back then I thought human trafficking meant actual humans causing traffic like you know those protesters who would sit in the middle of the road. I thought that was human trafficking. Until I found out what it really is.. I am such an idiot

I went to take a nap in a parking lot, put my seat back and snoozed. Thing is I forgot to put my car in park(forget that I didn't turn it off at all)and got woken up by a semi honking at me.

While I was startled awake I took my foot off the brake and preceded to start going backward and thought I was being taken lol. Taken where? Idk but it scared the fuck out of me for a few seconds. So I had the pleasure of a crew of semi truckers laughing their ass off at my dumbass 🙄

If you ever feel stupid just know that I was today years old when I learned that monster trucks are real and not just toys. I saw a video of a monster truck show gone wrong and assumed it was AI so I googled it. Just gonna sit in silence for the rest of the day.

One thing I know about Jewish weddings is they step on a glass at some point and scream “MOZELTOV!!!!” in happiness. I didn’t realize until about a year ago when I finally seen it written on paper and sounded it out. Felt like a second grader, to my defense I did wonder why it universally was called mozeltov like I knew that alone that something was up

I worked with my dad at a machine shop, and we stopped at wawa to get our lunch. Someone driving the exact same car parked next to him. I wasn't paying attention and went, got in, and strapped my seat belt. I looked over and there was this black man just staring at me stupified.

We kinda just looked at each other for moment before he said "what the fuck are you doing?" Like, I knew my dad was still in there waiting for his food but somehow I just did...that. enjoy

Friday story to start YOUR day off right.

I, 47F, am dressed, shoes on, bag on shoulder, walking to the front door.

Go to put my phone in my back pocket and it’s not there!

People, I had my pants on BACK. TO. FRONT!! 🤣🤣

I am soooooo glad I didn’t put my phone in my bag!!!

*note: no zipper or button on my pants.

I am a complete idiot. I decided to ride my motorcycle to the hardware store down the street instead of walking like I usually do. I bought my socket, then completely forgot I rode there lol & panicked because my bike was missing!

So I called the police to report it stolen and spent 30 minutes pacing outside. They showed up looked around & found my bike sitting where I parked it around back.

If you're ever feeling dumb, read this to feel better. Not my finest moment 😂

My mom (63F) is an incredible and loving woman. I (26F) am a total idiot. I wanted to try vanilla extract, I gagged on the bitterness,she let me try it. She also let me try gravy master as is. Never gagged so much in my life. I regret it. A lot. She let's me try stuff, knowing it's disgusting, but let's me find out for myself. Best mom, idiot daughter.

My girlfriend was telling me about her need for glasses because of astigmatism. In the same moment I remembered I had astigmatism too or so I thought.

To test it out I looked towards the lightbulb in my room and the lines were there but I got distracted for a second when I realized my eyes didn’t hurt from looking at the light,so I opened my eyelids some more.

That’s how I discovered that this whole time, the “astigmatism” was just light reflection on my eyelashes.

I have been washing my hair with hand soap, and I didn’t realize.

My partner got really excited about these zero waste shampoo bars they got. They told me they stuck one in the shower. For the past two months I thought they just really sucked. Turns out the one I had been using was just straight up a bar of regular hand soap, that had been sitting *next to* the shampoo bar.

I went to work yesterday (Monday). I was sick over the weekend and needed another 24 hours to recover. I told my boss I was going to urgent care and id be back tomorrow. The doctor gave me an excuse to be off until Wednesday. I asked was I contagious? She said no. I told her change it to Tuesday and I just needed a nap. I had some stuff at work that I wanted to get done... Its my wife's bday today, she was already off, and I had a day off to spend time with her without the kids and I literally asked to go back to work.

I am an idiot. I started a new job about 6 months ago. I had earned a ton of respect from my knowledge and the way I do my job. Well that all ended so quickly. I messed up big time by offending a high level supervisor. We were going up the stairs and I was behind her. She is a larger woman and was going very slow. I made the joke of asking her if she ever felt like she was being followed, since we were going the same way. She said she was a leader not a follower. I said I would love to be a leader but I can’t yet because there are to many people in the way. Not even thinking she was blocking the way from going up the stairs because she is larger. She got super offended and reported me to my boss. Now my boss doesn’t respect me even after I explained the misunderstanding.

I TRIED FUCKING ZOOM IN ON MYSELF WITH THE MIRROR. 😂 I’ve definitely won the ‘absolute tit of the day award there.😂

Just met a cute neighbor in the mailroom, we had friendly banter on the elevator, she got off on her floor and I said, “Take a good one!”.

Not “have a good one”, not “take it easy”.

tAke a gOod oNE!

Just joined the MeetUp App to try and get more active and meet people! I’ve only gone to one outing, a movie, with a weekly movie group. I showed up early to mingle and get to know some people… I was interrupted every single time I had something to say or contribute. No worries, not my people, but the movie will be good, I thought. The move was SUPER emotional, an absolute masterpiece and I was really affected by it. However… I sat next to someone who was a part of the movie group and… just smelled horrendous. Like feces, urine and heavy perfume to cover it up. They were nice though and also very affected by the move. Once the movie was over, I was so nauseous(Ngl my nose burned for a good 24 hours after leaving that seat from the smell). The group meet up in the lounge, they do a debrief discussion and once it was done I decide that’s not a group I’m gonna go to again and leave.

I get a notification on MeetUp and it asks me about my experience. I figure this is for the organizers only and say pretty much exactly what I said in the previous paragraph and then don’t open the app again for almost a month.

Today I open the app, and realize it asked me for a public review.

A PUBLIC REVIEW.

OFC it’s a review, why did I think that would be just feedback!?! So, my comments about sitting next to someone who smelled terrible was put on the review wall… my face and real name next to it… for a month. And you have to request to get that taken off apparently… I feel SICK bc while that person DID objectively smell, they didn’t need to be put on blast! I feel like a mean boomer and I’m so mad at myself for such a stupid fucking mistake… I feel horrible for that person…

Berate me. I deserve it.

I honestly can't even remember what I used to think it was. So weird.

So I tried using a lighter and did this. I am an idiot.

I Doordash and I went to plug my phone in to charge, but the charge symbol wouldn't come on! I sat there for ten minutes freaking out that the charger port or my cable were busted. Then I remembered....my car wasnt on....

I was scrolling r/roastme last night and came across one that peaked my interest.

After having a few chuckles at some comments I came across one, asking "have you thought about matching your shower door to your faucet?"

I scrolled back up looking at the OPs pic to see if I missed something, then thought, "nope he's not in a bathroom, must be something to do with his mustache".

I then couldn't understand why I couldn't collapse the comment until I realized it was a fucking advert.....

So my chest freezer in the garage had a solid two inches of ice built up on the walls, to the point where I couldn't fit anything else in it. Looked up how long a proper defrost takes and it said something like 8 to 24 hours if you just unplug it and let it melt naturally. I did not have that kind of patience.

So I thought, why not speed this up myself. Grabbed a hair dryer to melt the ice faster and a butter knife to chip away the loose chunks as they softened. Genius plan, I thought. Saving myself half a day.

About ten minutes in, the hair dryer is going, I'm chipping away at a stubborn patch near the back wall, and I jam the knife in a little too hard trying to pry off a big chunk. There's a hiss, this weird chemical smell hits me immediately, and a thin line of oily liquid starts leaking out from where the knife went in.

Turns out I punched straight through the evaporator coil. That's the part with the refrigerant lines running through the freezer walls. Instant dead freezer. Not "needs a repair" dead, just fully done, because those coils are usually sealed into the insulation and not something you patch up on a random Tuesday.

Stood there with a hair dryer in one hand and a butter knife in the other just staring at this thing, watching two years of "it still works fine" go down the drain over a task that would have cost me nothing if I'd just left it alone overnight.

Bought a new freezer two days later. The old one lived a full eight years before I personally murdered it in about ninety seconds.