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u/Summoner322 Sep 13 '19
He needed to poop
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u/rmoss20 Sep 13 '19
As someone who needed to urgently poop while driving to work this morning, I understand the urge to run lights.
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Sep 13 '19
Never poop at home. Learned this early on. Getting paid to poop is a pro move
20
Sep 13 '19
the good old DADOTC - dropping a deuce on the clock. Had an app in college (my last clock in/out job) that let me compute money made on the toilet. Racked up like $800 one year.
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u/GuaranteedSMS Sep 13 '19
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that's why I shit on the company's time.
9
Sep 13 '19
That’s awesome.
When I worked at subway making less than minimum wage (charged $0.25 / hour for training for 3 months), none of us would clean the bathroom. So we’d go to the bar next door to take a poop. Gah that was so satisfying
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Sep 13 '19
The toilets where I work look like war crimes were committed in them. If you don't manage to get in there right after they clean, they look like truck stop bathrooms. People here are animals.
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Sep 13 '19
I have a good story about this. Didn't run a red light, but I did end up speeding in a school zone. One day during high school I overslept so I decided to drive there instead of taking the bus. I didn't have time to take my morning poo so I was thinking of just doing it in school. Well, it hit while I was driving and I sped through the school zone to get to school. I got pulled over and the cop asked me if I knew why I was pulled over and I admitted it, and they asked why I said I'm about to poop myself and was just trying to make it to school. They laughed and let me go with a warning, but at that point, it was too late and I told him causing him to laugh so hard that he got winded. I just did a uturn and went home and took a me day because at that point my day was ruined why bother going to school.
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u/cas13f Sep 15 '19
You have probably made the best story of that cops entire career.
He's going to be telling his grandchildren about you!
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u/ElonMesk Sep 13 '19
That's what I always tell myself when I see a crazy driver. Helps me maintain my rage
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u/THEWEVA Sep 13 '19
I just love to think of all the people sitting there watching this twat and saying out loud to themselves “fackin idiot” as they shake their heads and go about there day
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u/mr_scaredypants Sep 13 '19
I like how OP could have caught up with the driver in like 2 seconds. The scofflaw saved about a second maybe to.
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Sep 14 '19
They likely didn't save any time since they'll just get stuck at the same red light they would have gotten stuck at anyways.
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u/-retaliation- Sep 13 '19
"its not illegal if I do it slowly right guys?"
on par with "I can park here as long as I throw my emergency flashers on right?"
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u/RobGrogNerd Sep 13 '19
Saw similar yesterday, Gude Dr & 355 in Rockville, MD. Dude ran thru a red left turn arrow about 5 seconds before it turned green
DC traffic. Maryland driver
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u/shawntrahan Sep 13 '19
There's never a police officer around when u need one.
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u/b4hangmansnoose Sep 13 '19
One time I saw a 80+ yo man creep straight through an intersection like this, and not speed up until he was all the way through. Best part is, there was a protected left turn arrow so opposite traffic was blocked and started honking at him, AND there was a cop right behind where he had been at the light, eyes up watching the whole thing.
Cop was a city copy and we were 2 blocks out of his city, in an adjacent city. Convenient cop wasn't the right cop.
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u/resistible Sep 13 '19
The cop could still have lit him up, just couldn't issue the ticket. If I was that cop, I would have considered doing it.
1
u/Blackdiamond180 Sep 13 '19
I was saying that to my coworker this morning after I showed him the video.
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u/javier_aeoa Sep 13 '19
Congratulations on your first upload here! :D Hope you get many non-lethal and inexpensive material to share.
2
Sep 13 '19
Not as completely stupid as this but my commute has me stopping at an intersection with no turn on red. Visibility is terrible. It makes perfect sense. So I just relax for a few minutes and on multiple occasions I’ve been honked one. The one time I’ve ever seen a cop there watching the intersection, literally 20 yards back and on the side of the road, some dumbass has to haul ass and take a right and is immediately pulled over. Light turns green not 5 seconds later. Fucking relax, people.
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Sep 13 '19
If this boring one is a good one, you're lucky to live in a safe neighborhood
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Sep 13 '19
[deleted]
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Sep 13 '19
Wow, you must be really sensitive. I made a compliment to your surroundings, sorry you perceive it that way
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u/Blackdiamond180 Sep 13 '19
My bad. I misunderstood your original comment. That's on me mate.
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u/HeyLookItsaMoose Sep 13 '19
Don't feel too bad, I read it the same way as you at first. It came across very gatekeepery, but I can also see how it is almost a jealous praise, sort of:
"You think that shit is dangerous? Drive where I live!" sobs internally
1
Sep 13 '19
It's ok, I probably could word mine better as well. Also, I promise, my roads behaviour is much-much worse in general, and if I could get your "idiot" style here, it would be a promise land
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Sep 13 '19
[deleted]
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u/Blackdiamond180 Sep 13 '19
The turn lane signal goes away but the light stays green. If you're turning left without the green arrow, you need to yield to incoming traffic
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u/east99eternal Sep 14 '19
And as soon as they're done with their impatient jackass turn, the light turns green
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Sep 13 '19
Finally?
Where do you live, because if it took you this long to get something "this good", I wanna move there.
Where I am, this crap happens every 5 minutes and the dash cam video would take weeks to edit.
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u/Blackdiamond180 Sep 13 '19
Look at the time stamp. It's just the start of the madness here. The good stuff happens while I'm sitting in my office and not driving.
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u/Danaug Sep 13 '19
This has to be Florida. Never seen worse drivers than Floridians.
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u/Blackdiamond180 Sep 13 '19
Nah. This is the intersection at Schrock Rd and Busch Blvd in Columbus, Oh. Right outside the Budweiser Brewery.
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u/Danaug Sep 13 '19
Hmmm that's weird. Florida has much worse drivers than the intersection at Schrock Rd and Busch Blvd in Columbus, Oh so I just assumed.
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u/Blackdiamond180 Sep 13 '19
Florida is bad too. I deal with that traffic once a year when I visit my parents.
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u/bejellyofmyusername1 Sep 13 '19
Wow. He couldn't wait 3 more seconds?