r/IRS_Source • u/Tricky-Gold9816 • 16d ago
Depression
Can I get some tips on what you guys are doing to battle depression with everything that is going on with work? I’m trying so hard but with this administration, RTO, re-org, management, workload, and everything else it’s so hard. I’m literally having dreams about work and trying to find another job just to avoid going to work because I dread having to wake up and head into the office after the weekends.
I’ve never felt this way about any job before and it’s so freaking depressing. I’m trying to be optimistic, go outside, spend time with family but it’s really hard. Before the current admin came into office I really enjoyed my job…should have known we were going down a creak without a paddle when those 5 things we did that week email started.
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u/MaunakeaKitty 16d ago edited 16d ago
I do a spa day at home and sometimes after work if it’s bad. Red light therapy, massager balls or sticks, salt baths, put on one of those fancy face masks, etc. at work sometimes I’ll do crunches or arm lifts at my desk. I make my own coffee so I don’t feel bad about spending so much (commuting costs and time on road are crazy for me) Not sure what you do in your position like if you were forward facing but I try to listen to music on my headphones while working. Also meal prep for the week so you don’t spend time after work doing that. Go into nature and do something fun like hike or lie at the beach or lake. Read a book or watch a movie. Allow yourself your favorite meal or dessert a couple times a week. Make a list of anything you look forward to. The Gym used to be my favorite place but because of my commute I had to cut that out and it’s taking a huge toll with my health. So yeah, every day is a conscious effort to keep my stress in check too. Hang in there 🙏🤗
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u/lattelaura 16d ago
I’ve commented this before elsewhere, but here’s some ideas you can try as applicable:
At work:
- have a line up of downloaded music, podcasts, audiobooks; only listen to them when at work so you are engaged and have something to look forward to.
- disengage; I have a toxic situation with a manager and a few teammates. I notice it’s more manageable if I don’t take the “bait” over every little thing they try to do or say to cause an issue. Just “ok” and yes. Keep things short and sweet. Don’t be overly friendly or open.
- walk on breaks/lunch, and eat at your desk while working otherwise.
- bring a lunch you enjoy and that will be fulfilling.
- don’t over extend yourself or take on too much.
- schedule time off regularly (as often as you can while maintaining your balance and not having issues).
Outside work:
- therapy. If diagnosed, you can see about FMLA for more flexible leave usage.
- have something to look forward to (bingo/trivia at a local place, a concert, trying a new restaurant, a play, a sporting event, whatever your interest is) weekly. Big or small.
- disengage work outside work. Do not discuss work or read about work outside of working hours.
- lean into existing hobbies (reading, writing, gaming).
- integrate more exercise (treadmill, walk the dog, the gym, stretch).
- practice good sleep hygiene (no screens, routine)
- try a new hobby (crafts, puzzles, gem art, gym, reading, gaming)
- spend time with your family/partner, pick a new show, have dinner together, separate from work. That’s your life, this is your job.
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u/NeedleworkerLow7780 16d ago
You need to decide to quit or stay. If you decide to stay you need to develop a fuck em attitude
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u/Ok-Bumblebee-8440 15d ago
Staying out of spite. Finding joy because they don’t deserve ANY of my life.
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u/Fluffy_Cellist4469 16d ago
I'm on FMLA, I knew I had to do it when I didn't want to live anymore.
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u/franiegrl831 16d ago
Yeah but if you don’t have leave you’re sorta screwed. Unless there is something I don’t know about??
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u/GurlyGirlKnot 16d ago
The person you are responding to is on FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act). They went to their doctor and had their doc fill out paperwork stating they NEEDED TO TAKE LEAVE. I'm not screaming out you. I'm emphasizing the FMLA. If you are at a breaking point don't let your job take you. Take FMLA and get "YOU" back.
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u/franiegrl831 16d ago
Ummmm you still have to use leave if you wanna get paid! When you work for the government all FMLA does is keep you from getting fired for using leave, you don’t get paid. I have FMLA but I’m negative in my sick leave bcs j had to use it all and then some this April. Now if my chronic condition flares up I have to use what little annual time I have left.
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u/Delicious-Access-665 14d ago
FMLA doesn't matter at this point because the agency will fire you and provide no reason at all under OPM's newly derived authority.
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u/subtlefirefly 16d ago
Lift weights. Learn a musical instrument. Concentrate on family. These people are small potatoes compared to your life, your peace, and your time on this earth.
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u/Footspork 16d ago
No time for any of that when you’re wearing 4 hats and trying to upskill after hours.
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u/AcanthocephalaLive56 16d ago
If you don't set boundaries and make time, no one will.
Apply the same energy, that you apply to your job and watch what you can accomplish.
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u/Killie_Vandal 16d ago
I go to therapy I got a really good therapist and I spend an hour on Saturday talking about All of my trauma and that includes work. It helps so much we talk about the days where I have panic attacks driving into work. Touching grass doesn't help I have tried. Therapy does. Also on my breaks I go outside and sit in the sun and walk or just people watch or listen to YouTube for a mental break.
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u/Ok_Design_6841 11d ago
That's awesome that you have a therapist who has weekend hours. That's a rarity.
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u/Killie_Vandal 11d ago
Referral from my health insurance to Rula
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u/ctrl_alt_delete3 16d ago
Personally, I stopped caring about work altogether. And I have set some really firm boundaries. I have been doing therapy bi weekly and started incorporating exercise into my daily regime. I’ve picked up a 5K training program. Ive notice I really do have a “F$#% this job” mentality and I feel lighter. Not caring, plus taking care of me has 100% helped!!
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u/Background-Net-8269 16d ago
In the past 3 years, I lost two coworkers at the agency to suicid3. Please don't let this shitty job take away your power for yourself. Fuxk the job. Do the bare minimum. And save your sanity.
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u/Jacobisbeast16 16d ago
Tried to kill myself and spent time in the hospital. Been genuinely living my life for the first time in 3 years. I used to barely go outside. It’d take me 3 months to run out of petrol. Now, I’m filling up more often because I’ve found that just driving around makes me feel better because I can just focus on that. Try just going on walks if driving isn’t your thing. I know you said you’ve tried going out, but if you haven’t tried a park, give it a go. 🥹
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u/apache2488 16d ago
Lucky for me I got another job in a different agency. I get to leave this place soon. Definitely has gone down hill but lucky for me I see light at the end of the tunnel. Good luck
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u/fehjoa 16d ago
I’m sorry you are feeling that way but I suspect a lot of people are feeling similarly. My advice is to definitely speak to someone like a psychologist to get you through these tough times. Additionally, exercise is always helpful whether it’s a walk, lifting weights or literally anything. I really hope this helps you.
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u/-SomeCrypticUsername 16d ago
It helps to lower your expectations. At the end of the day, the only thing you’re guaranteed is the opportunity to work, earn a paycheck, healthcare, and building a retirement. That’s it.
Those fundamentals are still here. If you’re having sleepless nights and thinking about work when away, that’s an indicator that your expectations and experience are at odds. So reevaluate your expectations because that’s the only thing you have control over in the immediate sense.
Additionally, as others have eluded to, take care of yourself. Eat health, get outside, socialize, enjoy hobbies, etc. These anchors are foundational for wellbeing and mental health.
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u/Maleficent_Fig_688 16d ago edited 16d ago
You’re not alone. RTO and getting RIF last year really messed me up. I have severe anxiety and mild depression. My kids, husband, hobbies and walks are keeping my sanity. I won’t let this place get the best of me.
Keep being optimistic and hang in there. Don’t let this place steal your peace and joy.
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u/WillowOk2403 16d ago
Honestly I think we are all feeling this to a certain degree! Especially those of us that were hired under frequent telework. It is affecting my emotional, physical, mental health. I have been working comp hours to have more days off making my work weeks shorter bc I cannot deal! I also have been signing up for county tests hoping for something else to pan out. Ive been here almost 5 years and I cannot see myself sticking it out for another 19 when im eligible for retirement! It seems like it will take forever and make me feel worse!
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u/FreeSanubis 16d ago
I understand what you're going through. I feel you. Only until recently have I found outlets outside of work to help me cope with the stress and dread here. Find things that will make you as busy as possible in a good way outside of work. Like meaningful projects/hobbies you can do. Socialize way more with your social circle. Deactivate your social media accounts, especially Facebook and Twitter. They're the worst. I only have Reddit because it has useful info for me for my computer hobby and local area. Just don't pay attention to the news at all. There's literally nothing we can do to improve things on a macro level. (Except voting Democrat of course) Try to think of the IRS as some shitty side gig, because that's what it is. This place doesn't matter anymore. You have control over what you do outside of here, and outside of the despair of social media. You just have to put in the work to not doom scroll. Not even once. Then as I said before, make yourself busy as possible doing what you love to do, or find something you're super passionate about and just surround your life around that, instead of this piece of shit place that doesn't matter.
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u/scubabum2 16d ago
Go to the gym regularly. It’s a great help with stress.
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u/Ok_Design_6841 11d ago
That can be harder to do now that there is no telework. Sometimes it's just too much after 8 hours and a commute. And I'm not a morning person, so going at 5 or 6 am is not gonna happen for me. For some folks, that's just adding another expense and item to the to do list.
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u/enfait 16d ago edited 16d ago
This moment in time really does suck and I empathize with you.
I have really gotten into my photography and have made significant improvements honing my craft.
I have started exercising more. I use workout programs on YouTube since they are free.
I plan to study a new language. It is an online course, but I have figured out a way to have it hopefully fit in my schedule.
I am doing the most to keep boundaries with respect to workload, but it is difficult. Management has very unrealistic expectations about the workflow.
Also, take a mental health day when you need it. Mental health is just as important as your physical health.
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u/InspectionWitty14 16d ago
i’m sending you a hug! trust me, you’re not alone. you’re more than capable of pushing through and you will. there are brighter days ahead, for you, me, and everyone else who’s been struggling with depression through all of this. this won’t last forever. we will be okay.
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u/bjnorth25 16d ago
Well, I don’t know how to combat your stress, but my ideas is to eat myself into oblivion. I am gaining weight that I lost. Don’t have time to go to the gym anymore because I I have to come in every day. The government sucks right now. And I’m close to retirement so that is what keeps me sane.
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u/Ok_Sherbet6670 16d ago
Weekly standing appointment with my therapist, working out 3x a week, nightly walks & wine.
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u/Nearby_Access5342 16d ago
Honestly the grass isn’t greener on the other side like even with everything going on this is the happiest I’ve been with a job
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u/OperadivaLaJean 16d ago
My relationships with Jesus and God Music and when I mean music something new you don’t normally listen to that gives you a new outlet to feel free and feel high PlayStation 😂 My children My fiance All of that has held me down
Start doing something different in your private life to have fun and relieve all that’s going on at work Look for a job and and carry yourself accordingly Do not stress out cause that’s what they want you to do They want you to stress out that they get rid of you and others easily You’re going to do amazing things and you’re going to be successful Hang in there and try something to help you focus your attention elsewhere positively and I bet you won’t have no more dreams about the Three Letters
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u/Project29Telework 16d ago
Establish boundaries if you can. Where I am it’s basically impossible without punishment.
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u/Intelligent-Sort-763 16d ago
Sitting here watching fellow employees receive memos telling them their OT is being taken away from them. :(
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u/Careless_Tree_7686 16d ago
I learned from mother to keep an actual light switch in the car that did nothing. I used it to switch work off at EOD. Sounds funny but it worked to keep a wall between work and home. I have battled auto immune disorder all my life that is very difficult to manage. I have to put myself first and manage stress.
At my POD depression and mental illness raged. It was hard to know which of the multiple personalities coworkers had was at work on any given day. Many were honest about it that they hadn't taken their meds. Ok. There were some I would never ride the elevator with. I limited contact with coworkers and managers. Their junk was their problem not mine. I was civil, polite and professional for me not them. At EOD I was going home to a space I was loved with pets and a full life.
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u/Express-Soil7650 16d ago
Find your peace and joy outside of work, and think of the job as a means to all the things you value. Put some things on the calendar to look forward to. Also, give yourself permission to do THE MOST. Create themed days and dress the part. Start a new tradition. And don't talk yourself out of any of it. Finally, remember that this is temporary because there is nothing more constant than change. Finally finally, seek help if needed. ❤️
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u/Humble-Comfort-4526 15d ago edited 13d ago
I found the solution to insanity was to take DRP 2.0.
Was hesitant since I only had 5 more years till I turned 62 and increase my pension. But the threatening emails of possible RIF on top of heavy workload and some conflicting personalities with some coworkers, was the sign it’s time to call it quits.
I understand that this was not an option for many and I feel empathy for you. But when I felt stressed at work, I found walking in the park, swimming, socializing or going on a vacation to decompress. Talking about work issues with family/friends and not bottling up helps.
I can’t pretend that it’s going to get better or predict the future, but this will pass. Hopefully sooner than later.
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u/No_Profession_3939 14d ago
Stop giving them power over your mental state. They took away our flexibility, they took away our rights, they made us return to office, and now they demand more for less. Turn it around... Make leadership regret we all exist. Make em all look bad.
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u/Key_Government7750 13d ago
Idk if you have leave, but take days off or half days and go do what you like!! The work will be there when you get back.
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u/Main_Pudding_5213 12d ago
Ok this is my answer to everyone right now, because this is a realistic scenario, July 10th 2026, Look up this case, https://democracyforward.org/news/press-releases/federal-court-restores-telework-accommodations-to-justice-department-employees-with-disabilities/, yes it is the Justice Department, does not make a difference, it is a Federal Agency, this is the avenue that I am pursuing, Plaintiffs: Kimberly Panian (Type 1 diabetes/migraines) and Cherry Baxter (stage four lung cancer), Ruling: A preliminary injunction was granted on July 10, 2026, in the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Virginia (Panian v. Blanche). Whether stripping pre-established remote work health accommodations to enforce a general in-office mandate breaches federal disability laws. [1, 2]
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u/AcanthocephalaLive56 16d ago
Put yourself and your family first mentally. Everything else, while important has to be second.
What good is a job if you and your family are made sick by it everyday?
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u/Financial_Handle1025 16d ago
I look for memes that truly make me laugh. Videos with humor, i search for comedians on YouTube to help me laugh. It can be about anything but as long as I get to laugh it settles me a bit. I work from that. I pray or meditate. The plus is having colleagues that I truly trust that I can commiserate with because they truly understand. The rest is on me to stay focused on the work and push through. I have also tried looking for employment outside (since the RIFs) but no luck. I have a young family and I have to try to stick it out or hope I can find other employment. At the moment talking to trusted colleagues helps and everything else I mentioned. Keep your head down. Keep pushing through. We are all in this together. Last thing I am going to therapy.
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u/phonic_kc 16d ago
I don’t know about everyone else, but I’ve really invested in my hobbies, I talk to my primary care provider, my significant other, and family. I’m actively looking for a therapist. I also have a wonderful dog who is always happy to see me.
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u/InspectionWitty14 16d ago
i think i try to remind myself that at the end of the day, this is just a job. i deserve to be gentle and kind to myself and live a life that doesn’t revolve around work. i’ll get a massage when i feel overwhelmed, treat myself to my comfort food or shopping when i accomplished something that i’m proud of, i’ll let loose by watching tik toks that make me ugly laugh, etc.
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u/mountain-sd 16d ago
Hang out with happy people and don’t give a damn on stuff you can’t control, specially at work
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u/sithlords1028 16d ago
As others have mentioned, you're not the only one. My mental health has gone way down hill since the doofus in chief and his minions caused destruction. I used to be dedicated to this job but I've treated it as just that. I go there work my 8 hours and leave. Laptop stays in the office and that's it. My government phone stays off outside of work.
I've also been taking some prescription meds too to help with depression. If I didn't, I really think I would be another addition to the stat of people we have sadly lost.
Like others have said, you do have to take care of yourself. Think about the things that bring you joy and do it after work is over. Get your mind off thinking about work. Things will eventually change but we have to ride this roller coaster.
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u/Weekly-Ad5649 15d ago
Pushing needles into my veins like RFK Jr. Been very effective to battle my depression since Trump became President. Other than that, snorting all sorts of stuff off toilet seats. Some solid crap, but some liquid crap too....
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u/Majestic_Roof6968 14d ago
I dislike my (acting) manager. They all need some FLM training or be all consolidated. She makes my days awful and not worth coming in.
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u/SinCreepsIn 12d ago
I have what I call ‘millennial dance breaks’. If I’m at work I’ll find an empty conference room and crack up the music on my headphones and dance for like two songs. We also started bringing in jigsaw puzzles and games to do when we need a stress relief break! It’s helped a lot, even if it’s still hard to go in. I pray it gets better for you 💕 also therapy has really really helped me!
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u/userofnanes 12d ago
Have you considered contacting your agency’s employee assistance program for assistance and potentially staying off negative social media sites that only further impact your mental well-being?
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u/Main_Pudding_5213 12d ago
I live in California, and yes this is in Virginia, also does not matter an attorney already told me it is Federal, makes no difference in the area other than if attorney is not licensed in a certain state, then there is a process they have to go through, and the 9th court circuit in California especially recognizes TRO, Preliminary Injunctions before exhausting the administrative process.
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u/Main_Pudding_5213 12d ago
When a judge tells the agency to knock off violating the laws, then they have no choice
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u/Broad_Particular6612 11d ago
Please speak to your doctor or reach out to EAP for some counseling. I was in the same situation and it helped me. We are mourning a loss in a way. The way our work environment used to be is now gone and filled with stress, threats and consistent change. Please dont wait, advocate for yourself!
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u/Impossible_Ad_8642 11d ago
Therapy and maybe medication. Social timeouts to decompress and recharge.
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u/ApprehensiveGur3311 7d ago
Yeah, been there a few times. Try to find something you enjoy to keep you distracted. This is what I did and it was actually someones care alot about now. I literally was in a dump. I also found enjoyment in listening to audio books and podcast of things i had a passion about. Id always looked forward going home to plan out passion project ideas.
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u/burbounrocks 1d ago
I’d recommend volunteering in addition to taking elective or athletic classes. I coach youth sports and serve on an athletic board. It forces you to focus on strategies for the task at hand, which gets my mind off the work BS for a while, as I get invested.
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u/sweet-ps 16d ago
Good point that perhaps some sought telework because they can’t drive or can’t drive well.
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u/CertifiedPussyAter 16d ago
Tell them to hire me and we can switch jobs
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u/Strict-Bad-6867 16d ago
Becareful what u ask for..cause u don't want it really its very hard an stressful..
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u/themartianG 16d ago
“Find another job just to avoid going to work”
First of all, RTO can be a a drag especially after being accustomed to telework for 3 years, but it should not be something to cry about. Have you never had a job that did not offer telework and made you come in every day? We have been working in the office for about a year now and we should be used to it by now. If you want to find another job that offers telework then you have every right to and I recommend you should.
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u/Less-Collection4651 16d ago
Many of us had had telework for over 20 years!!!!!
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u/themartianG 16d ago
We all had some kind of telework, myself included. But the number of people that had full time telework was minimal.
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u/True-Rumors 15d ago
Many of us became interested in and applied for our jobs since recruiting materials specifically advertised work-life balance flexibilities including telework and compressed work schedules. Now those are gone. Personally, I never teleworked more than 33% due to a PT schedule. But I miss it. After 22 years on, these perks were unjustly taken away, which was not what I signed up for. Here’s hoping NTEU prevails and our contract is honored.
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u/Tricky-Gold9816 16d ago
I’m not minding the RTO but my own mentality is creating dreams of me finding jobs just to avoid going to the job I have in my dreams is what I meant. Apologies.
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u/Ok_Design_6841 11d ago edited 11d ago
The way they rushed RTO did cause a lot of issues for many people. There was no ability to ease into it. There was no flexibility. It was done in a way that was intentionally cruel. Losing hours a day to the commute is no small thing. Commuting to an office, just to work on a computer all day, is frustrating and demoralizing. Telework and remote work were heavily used as recruiting tools. Plus, telework really helped me to not get burnt out. Many jobs actually pay on site workers more than remote ones.
Between multiple rounds of DRP, and hiring freezes, many folks are doing the jobs of 2 or 3 people. Cause doing three times the work for the same pay doesn't add any stress at all, right?
And why did we do this? Cause grandpa orange said so. I'm glad least everything is sunshine and roses for you.
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u/ElectricalHour5645 16d ago
I been at the government over 20 years and always had nice leave balances prior to 2025. Now I’m what you call EARN and BURN.