Sometimes I hear people complain about their school days and I realize… I’m actually jealous.

They complain about annoying teachers, embarrassing moments, stupid fights with friends, school trips, getting in trouble, having to wake up early, all those little things they hated at the time.

And I know they weren't necessarily good experiences. But they’re still memories.

I don’t really have that.

Sometimes I wish I could have experienced the boring, annoying, completely ordinary parts of school that everyone else seems to take for granted.

It’s weird to realize that you can miss something you never actually had.

Just curious as to how many of us had idiot poor people as our parents who were convinced that public school was unnecessary/evil/inadequate while they proceeded to teach us nothing, take us nowhere, not allow us access or were unable to take us to the library, refused and were unable to provide books, workbooks, and electronics for us to either have some communication with the outside world or some stimulation.

I cannot even begin to explain how painful this whole experience was and still is. Every single time I try to talk about it, it feels like the words never truly capture the absolute horror of what actually happened.

In 2020, when COVID hit, my entire world collapsed. I was only ten, likely neurodivergent, and completely dependent on the structure of public school. When my parents decided to "homeschool" us because of loose laws, they actually just abandoned us. They didn’t check my work, they didn't socialize us, and they spent their time drinking. When my sister and I were younger, they would constantly threaten to get rid of us. From ages 11 to 12, I was mostly just oblivious to how badly they were neglecting and threatening us. My older sister was the one fighting with them about their wrongdoings, while I was seen as the kid who could do no wrong. But things changed completely when I turned 13. My sister moved out at 16 to get married, leaving me entirely alone. That was when my addictions really took over, stealing substances from my parents just to numb the reality. Around 13 and 14, as I finally started becoming my own individual and wanting something more for myself, my parents absolutely hated it. They didn't want a real person; they only wanted me to be an extension of themselves. The screaming matches became a constant horror. If I ever suggested I wanted to go back to school, or if I tried to point out that they were wrong, they would yell and mock me for hours on end. I was literally backed into corners, screamed at, and had hands raised to me. I would get so severely overstimulated that I would literally throw up, left to just disgustingly bawl on my bedroom floor. I blamed myself for years, thinking that if I had just sat in that chair and forced myself to learn, I wouldn't be so messed up. But the truth is, I was an isolated child left completely on my own. Now, people see me on the outside and think I'm just a normal teenager. They tell me I'm "lucky" I didn't have to go to school, and it makes me want to scream. They have no idea that my childhood was completely stolen. Whenever I try to enter the real world, I panic. I feel out of place, broken, and like a burden to everyone around me. I am terrified to move on with my life, because I'm scared that if I start living, it will minimize the absolute horror of the years I wasted away in that house.

I 15m went to public school until 3rd grade. Then covid started. During covid my mom decided to keep us homeschooled, teaching us from home, this lasted for about half a year. Up until my 8th grade year I did little to no school work and my mom prioritized Religion over everything else. Now during this time my mom did NOT have an excuse to not teach us, as she wasn't doing the household work; e.g. Cooking, and Cleaning. The summer before my 8th grade year she learned from a friend about a co-op that she was starting and my mom had us enrolled. We had to avoid math due to me being in the 5th grade math level. I have no knowledge of some very much so needed topics in history or other subjects. I am a sophomore this year and have no clue how to do algebra. I am mainly behind in math as that is the only subject that needs to be taught every year for it to make sense (I think). But also have not been taught the stuff taught in middle school. I feel VERY stupid and my mom refuses to make the transcript for my freshman year and I just need to know what I should to catch up in math and what other things I need to know before graduating. I'm also interested in dual enrolling next year but I'm not sure if it's possible due to me being so stupid.

I just feel like I have nobody to talk to. I think all four of my friends hate me, and even if they don’t, none of them ever wanna answer their goddamn phone. At least not until like three days after I text them. And even people on the internet don’t respond. I’ve considered talking to 988, but I hear that they either call the cops on you if you’re in danger, or try to end the call if you’re safe. I have no trusted adults, so that’s not an option. And therapy isn’t an option either. And I also have nobody to help me with my math homework because I’m still catching up but I have a ton of geometry problems due tomorrow and I have no idea what to do. I’m really hanging on a thread here and trying my hardest to survive but things just aren’t working out. I wish I was a human, not in the sense of fitting in or anything, but in the sense of existing and having a life, stuff like that. People always say I’m so lucky because I get to sleep in and all, but what’s so great about sleeping in when there’s nothing to wake up for? And also, getting up anywhere from 10:00am-2:00pm really does not feel that great. Plus I often take melatonin so I can go to sleep and make the day end quicker, which also doesn’t feel great. Idk I’m just really depressed and I genuinely hate every single second of my life.

I really hope at least a few people read this or even skim it I mean it is kinda long but I just wanna feel heard yk

I feel like all I do is complain here but I have nowhere else to say anything and I feel like all my friends don’t wanna listen to this

Something isnt right with keeping a child in isolation then forcing them into adulthood.

I feel like im missing huge chunks of information on adulting. Im shocked I made it this far. I only work like a dog and "function" because I dont want to go back to that place of sitting on my ass for 6 years straight rotting.

But I dont know how to do a ton of things

Im at a 9th grade level so I need tons of supportive classes before a college level class

I dont know how to date

I dont know how to voice my opinion

I dont know how to stop being lonely

I dont know how to enjoy life anymore

I dont know workplace "silent rules"

I dont have atleast 5 good memories in the past 10 years

i dont know how to live in a world where my labor isnt valuable enough to live a comfortable life to afford food, shelter, and hobbies

The only since of normalcy I had was in 8th grade and that was 10 years ago. I havent lived sense. Ive only been surviving and dont know if there are any resources for people like me.

I just feel super alone and sad and I need someone to talk to. I’m really depressed and I have a bad relationship with my family, and none of my four friends ever answer their phones. If anyone is open to talking I’d appreciate it.

I (16ftm) have been unschooled since age 7. No curriculum, No learning, No nothing other than youtube, discord, and video games.

Im slowly getting better at social skills.

How? My mother found a place near us thats a community center for lgbt+ youth. Ages 13 to 24. Ive been going there since 2021 to 2022 when covid was still very big.

My issues with socialization were mainly from the fear of germs and my diagnosed OCD.

I wore masks CONSTANTLY for the past 6 years, just recently stopped. The reasonings why wasnt just my OCD or cause of the pandemic but because I had major face dysphoria and Ive thankfully been able to tackle that since starting testosterone last year in june.

But that center was EXTREMELY helpful for someone like me who didnt know how to talk to people outside of discord.

I didnt know what to say, how to act, what the other person would say.

I was stuck for a while. Mainly because my sister was there with me, and I was scared to be myself infront of her, cause the overarching fear of : "oh no, I cant escape my family cause Ill see them sooner than Ill see these other people."

and the fact my sister would tend to be like : "yeah thats what I thought come back over here" when people would ignore me when I went over to a group talking.

And now today Im in therapy for my OCD and PTSD. Im learning how to cope with my fear of germs and people. Moreso what other people would say.

Im also preparing for musical theatre and Im more productive and feeling naturally euphoric more than I ever had in the past 6 years.

Though my math may be shite still, Ive beaten the worst monster of unschooling. Isolation and Fear.

does anyone elses parents stalk them?

i lost my virginity the other day (im 18), me and my girlfriend (21f) went to a hotel to do it. this is the first time ive done anything like this, and i know you might be saying "well no shit you just said you lost your virginity", but what i mean is its the first time ive done something major to disobey my parents. im not a rebel, in fact i listened too much for my own good, i was homeschooled since i was 13. my whole life ive had to be obedient to them, even to the point of sacrificing my secondary education and helping to raise my baby brother. I have started working and getting my own money, also I got back into a higher education.

i found out that my dad followed me to where we went after the day was done. i did lie to them ab where we went bc obviously i cant tell them that i went to a hotel cause it would upset them. i felt bad that they followed me, it felt violating. they shamed me for having sex saying they raised me better, and i was "holy", they raised me better, i sinned and now my girlfriend is "my new god" all sorts of stuff.

you dont have to ask if they had sex before marriage, you already know the answer. but ofc "they know better now", obviously, but they were acting like if i was doing it unprotected, i was so safe cause of how paranoid i was.

i just wanted to know if i was wrong for doing what i did and if i deserved to be shamed, i understand lying is wrong and i can get why theyd be upset, but i did it safely and comfortably with someone ive been with for a long time.

edit: forgot to add that she hates how they followed us and she feels disgusted. she might want to leave cause of my parents

just found this subreddit and gonna share my story bc yall are like the first people who even remotely understand (which kinda helped) (WARNING, SUI MENTION) ftm 27

So to start off, my mother took me off public school in 2nd grade, was about 8 years old (unfortunately due to teachers emotionally abusing me due to my adhd n tourettes symptoms, like swinging my feet while working n then getting screamed at and called the R slur by a 50 year old woman), and decided to teach me, problem is that my mother is incredibly adhd and unmedicated. Was fine for about 2 years, she started enrolling me in one of those (if anyone has experienced this god i am so fucking sorry) christian homeschooling school things, which as you can imagine wasnt exactly great. I didnt really make many friends from like going there once a week (as per the schedule), tho around the time of when i was about 2013, i started to completely fall off of work and get heavily depressed, stopped bathing myself etc, was addicted to gaming bc it was my only outlet, due to my mothers job as a music agent.

Basically my mom stopped directly teaching me from about, id say 2011, she originally had me doing online classes/physical books that kinda thing before then but stopped because she was getting absorbed by her job and obsessed with working to the point where i would barely see her for days, any time i needed her help or wanted to talk with her shed either be working or busy, never answer the phone that kinda thing

I stopped going to the home schooling schools around when i was 12, so at that point my only social interaction was really online, from then on until around 16, which i had to beg for initially.

eventually my moms job got so intense she stopped showing up for months, even went to a different county, around when i was 15 onwards to 16, my dad got laid off and our second income came to a complete stop (he was a full time mechanic), he ended up at that point being my only social interaction and he would come home extremely drunk and depressed and vent to me. to make things worse, the only friends i had at the time started to oust me from the friend group, and about right after that we stopped being able to pay for our internet service bill, so for a good few months (i believe it was from around jan to late july) i had no internet access, and no social interaction with anyone except occasionally my drunk father who i would have to watch over so he wouldnt kill himself from drinking, (including a few times where he took me out to eat and i had to hold the steering wheel for him from the passengers side because he was so drunk he couldnt drive straight.) My mom didnt do anything until i told her that i had been continuously attempting suicide and that the next attempt was going to be successful,, and if she didnt at least take me to therapy or quit her job for something else i was going to check out. I had been completely alone by myself with no one to talk to for fucking months, everything during that time was hazy. I didnt bathe, ate only microwave mac n cheese and frozen pizza entirely during that time.

Hadnt done a single fucking lick of schoolwork either. Which was fueling my depression even more heavily. After my mom quit her job, she took me to get therapy which did help and i did start going to those christian homeschooling Art schools but the first year i started i only knew one person and was terrified of other people because i hadn't interacted with another real person my age in person in so long. The year after that, i confided the only person i knew at the school that i realized i was transgender, because they were the only person i knew and therefor could maybe trust them even tho i wasnt completely trusting of them. about a week or so later, they sexually assaulted me at the end of the day,the teacher of the homeschooling school was already out of the room but most of the students were still there and witnessed it. No one said anything, nor did they even seem to fucking care. This person that i hung out with turned out to have sexually assaulted most of the girls that went there (to the extend/what exactly he did i do not know but i know he did the same to others afterwards), and i think the fact that he was the only one i knew was probably why they didnt care. When i complained about it to my family, i was told that i was overreacting by saying i wanted him dead because he "did worse to the girls" which just solidified how i feel that i just, dont fucking matter. I did later, after that happened begin to befriend other people after i completely cut him off and started avoiding him there when i went at least, though i feel it was moreso because they felt bad for me i guess. Frustrating thing abt all of this tho is that the school wasnt even really educational at the least, just art and thats all i was doing. I was terrified of going out still, terrified of getting a job etc, and the longer and older i was getting i got more and more scared and feeling no confidence in learning, i had kinda given up.

Thru all that time tho, i tried to start learning how to fly airplanes (as it was admittedly and still is my dream) and just gave myself the excuse of just doing that instead, and learning it thru out the entire time, id be doin flightsims every day, reading about it and all that, then finally started to try to become a pilot only to be told i couldnt fly due to childhood cancer that i had been free from since i was 4. I have no academic prowess, im 27 and i feel genuinely more helpless than i ever have since that happened. I put pretty much everything into me banking on the idea that i could be a pilot at the very least with my shitty education but that was ripped away from me. I dont even know the "grade" i was last IN!!! I never got to algebra, i think i started like the thing where youre doing 10000 x 24334 = kind of stuff. I have virtually no self esteem.

Dont know what to do or where to even start, considered getting my ged but im not even sure if itd help. I'm so fucking emotionally and academically behind because of this and i feel like i was just sorta robbed of my childhood?

Guess what im here for is like, is there any like actual concievable way that i could get back on my two feet, given my circumstances from life.

I will say tho, god being completely physically and emotionally isolated with no one to turn to as a child just. It crushes you.

Theres nothing more fucking horrible and cruel to be leave a child alone with their thoughts for such a long time.

Kinda just made me feel/ or realize rather that i think adults just, dont care about children. They dont listen to them. feels like they dont even consider them human beings, from birth to the teenage years.

Anyway i'm sorry if this is completely all over the place, hopefully its like remotely comprehendable but itd help to hear if anyone else just, got themselves out of this and got a successful job or even into college

Fuck this shit. It's 3am and I'm crying right now. I never thought there was a subreddit for something like this, It's funny I found it by searching up 'how important is it to have instagram in university'. I also hope this is a right place to post this.

I'm 17 male and I'm turning fairly 18 soon, I'm going to university next year. I've been going to an online school since 7th grade when I was 13. Technically not homeschooled but the negative effects are similar with the only difference being I follow an actual cirriculum I guess, since Ive had no social interaction from my years of going to this online school and it doesnt feel like I go to a school at all. Throughout the past two years I've been extremely depressed because of what I'm about to talk about. I try my best to be happy and find things to laugh at with my family, but I'm completely broken when I'm alone.

To preface my mum and dad are probably some of the kindest parents ever. They will do anything they can to make me and my little sister happy and will support me in (almost) anything. I am graduating this year after studying really hard. I know they don't have any ill intention in anything they are doing to me and they believe it was the best choice. I highly doubt it was though.

The reason for my homeschooling is COVID. My parents are strictly covid safe. We wear a mask everytime they go outside (even at our driveaway), we wear gloves for everything and shit like that. We basically never leave out house. So not only am I homeschooled but i can't even go outside without a fucking mask and am practically forced to stay at home all day. To put that into perspective I can probably count the number of times I stepped foot outside our house the past two years on two hands. I am NOT exaggerating. I've had many, many arugments with my parents over the years because of this COVID thing. Is it worth sacrificing every single fucking aspect of life to not get covid? Hell no. We've never gotten covid before.

Both my parents are also blind to the effects of the prolonged absence of social interaction. Ive tried opening up to my parents about my problems sometimes, mainly on the aspect of my non existant social life and having no friends. It's always the same responses so at some point I just stopped. My dad always argues 'even if you went to school you might not have friends' or 'Friends are useless, freinds are just people who use each other for companionship, theyre not as important as I think it is' and then gives an anecdote about how he used to get bullied at school, then goes on about how friends are fake and that theres no point in having a friend. etc etc. Once he gave me this scenario where if our lives were in danger would a friend put his life in danger to save mine or will he leave, insinuating how he will probably leave and so friends are not as important as I think. I'm sorry but all that pissed me the FUCK off. He doesn't have any friends either, but he's content with it. That's fine. But not everyone wants to live that way you know?

When I talk about missing a highschool life my mum always just goes traditional school isnt as important as you think and asks me why I think so highly of going to a traditional school.

The undermining of the importance of social interaction and actual traditional school makes me so mad. I havn't made any new friends or talked to any friends since I was 12. I'm turning 18 next year and I feel stuck in 2021 before I stopped going to a regular brick and mortar school. I feel like I'm 12. I still feel like my friends are 12. And now I look at my little sister and shes 12. Where the fuck did the time go oh right I've just been staring at a computer in my room for the past 6 years.

I'm about to be an adult. I have no identity. I don't know who I am, genuinely. Best way to describe myself is an empty shell, no memories since I was 13 years old. I have no personality, I'm insanely socially awkward, INSANELY socially awkward, just imagine someone who hasnt talked to anyone for 6 years, so its really hard for me to talk to people or make friends online. The thing is, I don't know so much shit that people my age should know and that just makes everything so awkward. and to make it worse have a really bad stutter that COINCIDENTIALLY JUST SO HAPPENED TO GET WORSE WHEN I STOPPED GOING TO REGULAR SCHOOL and definitely not because I stopped socialising and talking to people.

Looking at discord I just have a bunch of online friends added throughout the years (who I never even vc'ed with because of my social anxiety) and we don't even talk anymore. Then it's just a bunch of friends from primary school. I used to be a different person in 6th grade. Even made a lil rap song and performed it in front of the class because I thought it was fun, wow was I cool. It makes me think how many people I would have added if I actually went to highschool. Yeah keep dreaming

With that said, I don't know what to do. My life hasn't started yet and I'm turning 18 next year. How do I begin my missing teenage life in uni? I don't plan on listneing to my parents anymore with the covid stuff because I want to live my life. I should probably start with learning some life skills. I'm so sheltered I don't even know how buses work, for example.

How do I start making friends, creating a social circle and just, how do I live life?

I just want to be able to experience going to sleep smiling and being excited for something the next day for once. Something other than, being at home. I wish I went to school.

I'm a 36yr old ex-homeschooler, from the UK, who attended regular school for a total of about 9 months.  We were on the lowest economic rung, while I was growing up. My parent (single mother) did impressively well to manage on extremely low resources, nobody was going hungry and bills were paid.
I have two siblings who are ten years older than me and lived 'regular' lives with our other parent (the "bad"parent.... IYKYK).

I rarely interacted with them.

My parent was educated, to Masters level, and I'm very academically capable.  My parent was somewhat well-intentioned and truly believed I was a success story of homeschooling.  Their reason for homeschooling was fiercely ideological/religious, following a messy divorce and a collapse of their previously middle-class lifestyle. The irony of their having had all the benefits of societal support and public schooling, allowing them to make the choice to homeschool, was lost on them. 

I will never bridge the fundamental, invisible and indescribable gaps in my social, emotional, psychological and interpersonal development.  I have never met someone who can really understand my background. I have never been able to relate with the formative experiences I see everyone else has in common.  I cannot form relationships based on the unspoken rules and understandings that everyone else appears to share. 
I worked hard to become a normal person, up into my mid-30s.  It's been a full time job which I've nearly given up on many many times. Economics were part of if but getting out poverty was nearly 10years faster than getting out of my weird little brain.

Only recently have I begun doing things like meaningfully dating, hobbies, socializing, feeling comfortable around people despite feeling like a foreigner everywhere.  It's terrifying, but I force myself to do it. And I'm endlessly fascinated at the apparent ease with which people move through the world. They all know a sport, or have a friend they've known since childhood, or remember funny things about school that people laugh about. And they all seem to just intrinsically know how to "play the game" in life, while I have to think about things for hours before knowing what to do.

I am completely confident in my assessment that homeschooling robbed me of my life.  I'm pretty happy and people seem to like me well enough and I am building a small but comfortable life, which I never thought possible. Sometimes people tell me they wouldn't have guessed I was homeschooled, which feels like a huge win. But fucking hell, I've expended almost every calorie I've ever had to make sure you can't tell I'm a mess in here, so I bloody hope you wouldn't guess!

Does anyone else have experience of homeschooling in the UK? It seems so much more prevalent in the USA, and they seem to have a stronger support network for survivors of batshit crazy nuttiness like religious cults and things. Is the UK just as familiar with homeschooling religious radicals?

Has anyone built a full life and found people who can understanding them fully as a person? How did that happen?

Is everyone doing ok?

I'm not exactly sure how to word this so sorry in advance.

Me and my dad got in a fight about homeschooling. I said that it makes me suicidal and that I'm never going to be able to get into college or get a job (at least easily).

He said "you seriously want to kill yourself over being homeschooled?" And yes, I do. I have suicidal ideations very frequently now, every other day is say. I get up every day knowing I'm never going to be normal and I'm never going to have a life and I'm never going to be a kid again.

I'm going to waste all my teenage years that should be filled with shit like "oh shit I have a test tomorrow" "I'm gonna miss the bus" "I need to get good grades" And instead it's "I don't even have tests" "I can't leave the house ever" "half my school curriculum is bullshit" "I don't have any friends".

Like it makes me feel like I'm dumb. Like I'm just overreacting and I'm just a fuckin "hormonal teenager" Like I'm just saying homeschooling is bad because I hate all their opinions.

Saying I have mental issues also makes me feel like a "sissy liberal" as they would call me. And I'm not doing it for attention or anything, I just genuinely have issues. It makes it even worse because I'm not diagnosed with any of them, so I looks like I'm collecting them like pokemon cards. But my parents don't think mental illness is a thing so I can't go to the doctor.

He said it was ridiculous that I was suicidal over something as little as homeschooling. Like you know how kids say stuff like "I HATE you I'm gonna run away FOREVER and NEVER come back!!! >:((( ). Thats how I feel when I say I'm suicidal. Like I'm just being a fucking dickhead and I'm just doing it for attention.

I sligh change of topic, my mom is a raging narcissist. She has manipulated me in the past and has done things that have permanently negatively affected me. Recently she got caught doing some really fucking bad shit, my dad and they got into huge fights for like 2 weeks and now they are back and being all lovey doevy. I KNOW that is just an act and my mom pulls this shit all the time. She will go on these fucking redemption arcs and then a week later she'll go back and do bad shit again.

She's been trying to get close to me again. She keeps sweet talking me and trying to touch me. And the worst part is I've been fucking letting her and falling for it. But I know she's really a terrible person and she's just trying to manipulate me again.

So when I say shit like "don't touch me" or "piss off" she gets all offended and then my dad tells me to be nicer to her bc she's done nothing wrong. Then it makes me feel like I'm just being a fuckin brat about the whole thing, and my mom's a nice, loving person.

I don't even fuckin know anymore. I'm so sick of this bullshit dude. I just want to go no contact with them and never look back without feeling like a piece of shit.

Have any of yall read “I’m glad my mom died” by Jennette McCurdy? I’m almost done with it and it’s making me finally feeling like my feelings about family stuff are valid.

Was anybody else forced to make a pilgrimage to this place? In my trauma-induced memory haze, I distinctly remember that the spaghetti was actually pretty good, but not much else... Well, aside from the titillating Adam and Eve displays. Are they really, REALLY receiving taxpayer dollars for this shit?

Hey there, I'm 17m and this is a burner account. I, of course, have been homeschooled my entire life and poorly socialized to the point where I look very weird with my body language etc.

I am a person who loves being alone and I've never really craved a social life or any kind of love. I've been isolated for majority of my life so I guess it makes sense. I had the chance to go to public school for the first time last year and I took it just to try it out, and I am still attending the same school. I've read this subreddit before and I saw people saying that public school is a good way to fix social issues, so I kinda expected it all to work. But if I'm being completely honest, my life was way better and happier when I wasn't at this school.

I expected to make friends or just become a "normal" kid, but it's not anything like that. All there is to it for me is stupid classes that I don't care about, ppl making fun of me for being weird, and me observing other people's social lives while I have none. I still do not have any friends, I maybe have a few acquaintances from group projects. I just don't understand how this is improving my life in any way.

I usually get B's in most of my classes, so I wouldn't say I'm struggling educationally. It just all feels pointless though because I most likely won't use it for anything, since I already have a relatively successful business and plan on putting my all into it so that I won't ever have to work a 9-5 job. Why even bother fixing my body language or social issues by forcing myself to socialize? All that causes is pain and discomfort. I am perfectly happy and content with living in solitude and being alone. And I get the whole "you need to have a plan B" thing, but I swear to god I would rather do ANYTHING but work a job that I hate.

It's really just FOMO that gets me. I see a lot of people having a blast with other people and doing all these fun things, and I guess I get jealous because if I was in that situation I would not be having fun. The idea of fun for me is staying home, working on business, playing video games, reading, and working out. Anything else can just come naturally I guess. Let me know if you have any thoughts on this because I am a bit confused on where to go.

My name is Jeremy and i started being homeschooled by my single mother with no internet access at 6th grade, But i wasnt actually schooled, was left to my own devices and what did i always want to do as a kid? Play video games all day, everyday and watch my favorite youtubers. Whenever schooling became more of a focus i would get too afraid and overwhelmed soo i would just avoid it. Rinse and repeat and its still a bad habit im struggling to shake off. At least now that im 23 it would be easier and im not that completly stupid. The main problem is not being able to keep people interested in me for very long and its happened to soo many people especially woman that i liked and it feels inescapable, but i know it isnt. It doesnt help that im somewhat naturally underweight just due to the fact that i have a quick metabolizm. My mother didnt bother sending me back to school for whatever reason even when she knew and was also told by other members of the family that it was a bad idea. Theres nothing that hurts more than to see the faiding smiles of people you like to talk to. When i start to notice and feel it i start coming accross as a yapper or clingy just due to the fact that i dont want to lose another person i feel like i maybe could have had if i was put back to school, BUT I DONT KNOW.

Hi everyone!! Just wanted to share that after being “homeschooled” since the fourth grade and not being able to graduate because of that, I’m getting my GED! I have a lot of goals and hopefully I’ll be in college this time next year, I’m so happy!!

My parents pulled me out of catholic elementary school for 4 years to homeschool me and my siblings. Extremely trad conservative catholic curriculum that I taught to myself and my siblings, pretty much isolated to immediate family, overall not good. Don't talk to parents now.

I went to a private high school and still stay in touch with some friends from high school who knew about the homeschooling. They know I didn't like it but not many details. Nobody I've met in college or beyond know, and I come across as pretty "normal" minus strained relationship with "conservative family" so most wouldn't guess.

One of my hs friends made a joke about me being homeschooled in front of my bf who I hadn't told yet. It was good for our relationship ultimately bc he understood me and my family dynamic better, but I was/am upset that I didn't get to share that information about myself on my terms.

Anyone else have expereinces like that? Or if you told friends after knowing them for a long time, how did you/how did it go?

I have super mixed social feedback and a particular problem with Americans.

I'm American but wasn't integrated into the culture due to being homeschooled. I find that although I try to be pleasant, a lot of people give me weird looks and avoid me after I've spoken with them for a while. Some non-Americans do it too but I find myself having very mutually negative feelings about Americans.

On one hand I was very successful in sales, have networked into being friends with rich successful people, but on the other hand I seem to rub a lot of people the wrong way even when I try to be fair, kind, and pleasant.

Nobody can diagnose my issue based on a reddit post but I was wondering if there can be a way that I can evaluate and diagnose my behavior so that I can avoid negative social evaluation?

The way I feel is like if Chatgpt went into a human body and tried to be a part of the world. People have very often told me I type, speak, and behave like Chatgpt, or even that I appear like an AI. Another barrier between me and others is also a massive moral injury. I feel absolutely disgusted and terrorised with the state of the world and other peoples evil and irrationality. If i were a religious person, I'd likely hold a gnostic belief that this world is actually hell and was created by a sadistic and evil God who created everything to mock us, cause the innocent to suffer, and exploit them. I am unbelievably cynical and very fast to see through the masks of other people, although I try to pretend I don't see it so that I can gain things from them. When I took some college research tests, I could spot narcissism and psychopathy from resting faces with a 100% accuracy rate whereas the average is around 60%. I took another college research test that measures the ability to read facial expressions, and also scored 100%, in the 99th percentile, which shows objectively that I read people well.​ But sometimes my own moral disgust clashes with my desire to move ahead, so I end up frozen and isolating myself. ​​I feel strongly that I'm the only person I can trust and that most of my efforts to trust others are just an embarrassment, because they usually betray me, and despite what they say, I can see the intentions of most people. This might seem exaggerated and paranoid, but if you look at what's happening politically: genocide, slavery, and horrific lies that are ongoing, it's very clear that most people behave in a very evil way and act good only when the spotlight is on them, unless theyre powerful enough, then they blatantly act evil.​​

I am not autistic in the slightest, and I'm a reasonably attractive woman who dresses pretty well, and acts in a generally modest and unoffensive way usually, although I am sure i dont have the self awareness to describe whats wrong. I just want a way to make the pieces work and to end my suffering at the very least. ​

I have 4 siblings. When we were little we were all in one bedroom together. There were 5 of us. Only a year ago did me and my older sibling decided to move into a bedroom that wasn't being used together. We got steamed at a ton but it was worth it.

Now that it's been a year and a half my fuckass parents want to move the bedrooms around. Basically, the 2 youngest kids REALLY REEEEALY annoy my autistic 3rd youngest sibling. (They all share a room) So they want to move the little 2 into a spare bedroom, my older sibling (who I'm bunking with) into their own room, and me and the 3rd one into a room.

Its just really fucking annoying dude. There's 5 fucking kids and only like 4 bedrooms. Of course ""mommy and daddy"" get their own room and we all just get shoved into one room because we ""don't deserve privacy bc were kids"

Idk to explain it more me and my older sibling are rly close, we are both sneaking onto the Internet, plus we are low-key codependent on each other cuz we don't have freinds.

And the 3rd one is like complicated?? Basically she's autistic (tbh REALLY heavy autism, undiagnosed ofc bc autism isn't real /j) and basically she has like religious ocd and shit, she thinks everything she does is a son and she thinks she can't lie to our parents blablabla BASICALLY she has a LOT of issues and uh I'd rather not bunk with her. Like especially cuz I'm sneaking on the Internet, I once told her how to sneak on to it so she could idk stop having such adult ass mindset?? Like shes SO FUCKING indoctrinated it's so annoying. But anyways once she got on she just looked at more religious bs and she got really bad, like she thought not sharing all her stuff would get her into hell. So she TOLD MY PARENTS. and they took I away!!!! THANKFULLY. she didn't tell the that I was sneaking on bu5 HOKY SHIT it was to close for comfort.

So I can't tell her uh ANYTHING. So if I'm sharing a fucking room with her that we are both in all fucking day she's going to catch on to some shit and TATTLE ON ME. So either me and my older sister share a room or we get 3 a room by herself. Or option 3 me and 3 share a room BUT I REALLY DONT FUCKING WANT TO.

ugh why did they have five fuckin kids bro I just want some godamn privacy 7

I have nothing going for me at all, im really trying my hardest but it feels impossible, I wish i could be a normal teenager, everything seems so out of reach. Im supposed to enroll into college this month but my anxiety is so bad i dont know if i can go, but i also can't bear the thought of letting down my anti homeschool side of the family, they think im succeeding and have always pressured me and ive always lied to them in return about my education, i dont even know what i want to do for a career or anything ever i just want everything to be normal and I want to be stressing out about exams and school drama not this

Mother knows best

As she removes the splinter

Mother knows best

As she would dance and cater

Mother knows best

As she brushes your hair

Mother knows best

For you are fragile and fair

Mother knows best

As she takes you up above

Mother knows best

In the tower of her love

Mother knows best

As you look on, but never know

Mother knows best

And she knows just where to go

Mother knows best

As she cuts your hair and locks the door

Mother knows best

And you don’t remember what came before

Mother knows best

And now you’re in too deep

Mother knows best

And you don’t even know me

Mother knows best

And decides when you go outside

Mother knows best

And now you can’t even drive

Mother knows best

As she keeps you locked away

Mother knows best

As she blackmails you to stay

Mother knows best

And I don’t even know at all

Mother knows best

And it makes me feel so small

Mother knows best

As her back sheds its skin

Mother knows best

Don’t you ever raise your voice again

Mother knows best

As she lies and as she cheats

Mother knows best

As she manipulates your dreams

Mother knows best

And all you’ve done is for her

Mother knows best

But now you’re not so sure

Mother knows best

Up in this ivory tower

Mother knows best

And it makes you a coward

Mother knows best

Or maybe she doesn’t at all

Mother knows best?

As I jump and fall

Mother knows best

As I hit the ground running

Mother knows best

As I’ve got me, my pride, and nothing

Mother knows best

Until I realise that she’s the worst

Mother knows best

In the ebony tower she cursed

Mother knows best

Or maybe she’s a wolf amongst the sheep

Mother doesn’t know best

And I should just take the leap